CHAPTER 35

Laughable. Stupid. Ridiculous.

Those three words were the only thing that Erìhe repeated over in her head. It was as if every other thought had been thrown out of her mind and all she could think about was her embarrassment.

She was laying on her mattress in the pod, trying to sleep.

It was not going well for her.

Erìhe was rolling around in bed, trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in. Instead of drifting off like she wished, her mind kept replaying the mortifying memories of that evening. How could she embarrass herself like that?

She did not believe in all the "boys should make the first move" bullshit - but in this moment she was very much against being the first to show her feelings.

Precisely due to the possibility of rejection and embarrassment - which had now happened to her.

Whereas Erìhe was sure that Neteyam now knew of her feelings - said boy lay wide awake on his own mattress. He'd been able to hear her shuffling about all night, but he could not bring himself to say anything.

It was like his mind told his body to sit up, but his body would not oblige. He kept counting to three in his mind - swearing that he would get up on three - and always remain laying down without having even tensed a muscle.

It was a nightmare.

While Erìhe felt embarrassment, Neteyam felt regret. He should have kissed her back. Why on earth would he ever pull away when the girl who he liked so much was kissing him?

Even if he'd been uncertain of her feelings for him, he regretted that he did not just live in the moment and kiss her. He could have asked her of her feelings after.

They could have sorted it out later, but had he not pulled away he could have at least lived happily after being allowed to kiss her.

Neteyam rubbed his eyes as he fought the urge to bang his head against the floor of the pod.

Would he ever get another chance like that?

₊˚.༄

Erìhe knew that you could not escape your problems by running. But she did not care.

Avoiding was the way she rolled.

The morning after the horrifying incident, Erìhe had struck up conversation with Níawi, creating plans to hang out with her for the entire day.

Though Eríhe loved her new friend - all this was of course merely to stay away from Neteyam. She could not help the grimace that made its way into her face each time she glanced at the boy and she knew he noticed.

"What is it?" Níawi asked as the two girls stood knee deep in the shallow waters with Tsireya and Aluva. Erìhe had been helping them with gathering pretty shells for the seamstress. Her and Níawi were talking while the other two stood some distance away, searching shells from deeper in the water. "Come on - it is obvious that something happened."

Erìhe groaned as she bent down to grab a shell from where it lay, partially hidden under the sand. It was just before lunch and the sun shone brightly on them, giving them light as they worked.

"Tell me," Níawi begged, placing a hand on Erìhe's arm as she practically whined, "I know every bit of gossip on this island and it will bother me not to know."

Erìhe's annoyed groan turned into light laughter, "You're so annoying."

Níawi grinned, "Tsireya says so too!" She told her this as if it were a compliment to be called annoying. Then she slapped Erìhe's arm, "Now tell me."

Erìhe looked at the water longingly - thinking about what it would feel like to drown herself in the shallows.

"Tell me," Níawi demanded.

Erìhe could tell that the girl was about to go on a rant or else keep begging her to spill, so she sucked it up and sighed. "I kissed Neteyam," she admitted and immediately felt her face grow hot.

Níawi looked beyond shocked. Then she cleared her throat, "Why do you look disgusted?" She referred to the mix of a grimace and scowl on Erìhe's face. "Was he a bad kisser?" She demanded, "That's tough-"

"No - it was even that kind of a kiss," Erìhe cut her off, "I look like this because it's humiliating!" She admitted.

Níawi's mouth fell open, "He didn't kiss you back?" When Erìhe nodded slowly, she gasped as she placed a hand over her mouth while her eyes grew wide, "Is he crazy? Why wouldn't he kiss you?"

Erìhe shrugged, the same look of embarrassment and unease evident on her face, "He doesn't like me, I suppose," she mumbled, "Which is fine - except it makes this whole thing so much worse. I admitted my feelings to him. How embarrassing."

"Yeah.." Níawi agreed, earning herself a glare from Erìhe, "What? You said it first."

"What do I do?" Erìhe sighed as she placed the shell inside her small basket.

Níawi seemed unsure, "Talk to him?" She suggested. When she saw Erìhe's expression, she hurried to continue, "Remember the party? When Neteyam climbed that tree?"

"Yeah?"

"He was staring at you the entire time," Níawi told her, "I'm sure he climbed onto that branch just to look at you without being caught."

Erìhe smiled as she looked down at her hands. The thought of him doing that made her feel giddy - but then it quickly made her sad once she realized that she had kissed Ao'nung that night and then proceeded to tell Neteyam about it. What if he had liked her since before then?

Then she felt horrible.

Shaking her head, Erìhe cleared her thoughts, "Anyways - what's up with you? What's going on in your life?"

Níawi knew that Erìhe was trying to deflect the topic of her and Neteyam - and she smiled but nonetheless decided to give in. "I'm fine," she replied.

"Where's the bracelet that you made?" Erìhe asked as she glanced down at her wrist. Níawi knew that she was referring to the bracelet that was to be given to your interest.

"I lost it," Níawi told her with a sad frown. "I have no idea where it has gone."

"That's a shame," Erìhe nodded slowly, "Did you have anyone you wanted to give it to?"

Níawi seemed to ponder the question for a moment before shaking her head, "Not really."

Erìhe raised a brow but dropped it. Instead she turned to take in the scenery. Ahead she could see Aluva and Tsireya laughing as they swam along the surface, occasionally sticking their heads in the water in search for shells.

Erìhe had tried her very best to prevent things from becoming awkward between her and Aluva. The girl had done nothing wrong, but Erìhe couldn't help but feel furious when she thought back to the bracelet she had given Neteyam.

She did not want to be fake, so she did her best to push the thought out of her head.

"What will these shells be used for?" Erìhe suddenly asked as she walked a few steps forward to pick up another shiny clam shell from the sand.

"Probably a top," Níawi shrugged, "Or jewelry. It's for the Tsahik," she explained, "She will use it in the ceremony that gives her baby a name."

"Oh," Erìhe breathed out. Immediately she looked through her basket of shells and dumped a bunch of them out - leaving only the prettiest behind.

"What are you doing?" Níawi asked, a look of disbelief on her face.

"If it's for such an important occasion we should gather only the prettiest shells," Erìhe chuckled as she explained. She glanced around the shallow waters, seeking for more perfect shells.

-
A/n:
I wish this book would fucking write itself

And this isn't a movie but damn this shit isn't passing the Bechdel test.. not very girlboss of me

Also YALL OMG - xinakeadehara made this beautiful drawing of what they imagine Erìhe to look like and I am in love 😔🤞

Like the technique and everything?:!$:&:&

And don't repost that or anything even though it is gorgeous - I asked for permission <33