I was laying still, my eyes closed as I listened to Delina's voice. In my head, I was imagining what she told me to picture; Three things that I loved about Bry. I thought that would be easy, but I found myself in a gridlock. There are a million things I love about him. I started to drift off, my head going into the clouds. When Delina noticed I was still silent, she spoke again.

"Kallie, did you fall asleep on me?" She asked jokingly, though a small bit of annoyance was in her voice.

I opened my eyes groggily, yawning. "Almost."

"You're really tired," She understood, giving me a kind pat on the head.

"Yeah," I admitted, resting my arm under my head.

Delina laid down next to me, wrapping herself around me. My heart beat erratically, and I felt my breathing go uneven. In my mind, I was trying to stay calm. I was trying to convince myself that it was ok. But, I couldn't do it. Every ounce of me felt guilty. I kept asking myself why I should get to be happy. Bry told you to be happy.

After an hour of uneasy thoughts and emotions, I fell asleep. I dreamt that night, my dream leaving me confused but feeling better. In my dream, I continued to walk through the woods. This time, however, I found him. Bry stood in the middle of the open field that we'd been to when he was alive, smiling at me. We didn't say a word to each other, but it was enough. Seeing him smile, seeing his face, made me feel lighter than I had before he got sick. He wasn't pale, or cold, he was happy and healthy.

I woke up in a cold sweat, my heartbeats faster than ever. Delina was still wrapped around me, her body heat keeping me warm despite my cold apartment. I remembered that Kevin was coming over, and I was anxious all over again. I was stuck wondering if the two of them would get along, if they would like each other, and what he was going to tell me. I turned over to lay flat, watching my ceiling fan spin. It almost made me laugh, the way the blades spinning reminded me of my head lately. Delina woke up then, yawning and placing a hand on my arm.

"Hey," She whispered tiredly.

"How'd you sleep?" I asked, looking over at her.

"Not bad," She smirked lightly. "You?"

"I slept fine," I said, the dream slowly fading away. "I had a weird dream, but nothing bad."

"I see," She nodded, keeping her eyes on me.

"Ok, it was about Bry," I admitted sheepishly.

"What was it about?" She questioned, leaning on her elbow.

"I... I was walking through the woods?" I barely remembered the dream at that point, but the field with Bry in it stuck out the most. "Yeah, and there was a field. Bry and I went there a couple of times. He was standing in it, and smiling at me. He didn't say anything, but... I almost knew, you know? It was like... everything will be ok."

"That sounds like a great dream," Delina smiled gently. "I wish I could say I had a dream with that much meaning, but, to be honest, I dreamt about tacos."

I flipped back on my side, frowning and gawking. "You what?"

"Listen, I can't help it!" She laughed. "Food is just very good!"

"Delina," I sat up, jokingly glaring at her.

"Oh, God," She said with amusement, getting up as well. "We can work this out! I come in peace!"

I rolled my eyes, smiling a little. "We should probably see what time Kevin is coming over."

I grabbed my phone from the living room a minute later, seeing that Kevin had texted me.

7:01 AM- I'm up early so we can hang whenever

8:45 AM- Ok. Let's meet at the cafe for breakfast?

I put my phone down as I waited for him to respond, Delina walking up and sitting down next to me on the couch. I turned on the TV, seeing that it was still in the purchased movies section.

"You know, I kind of always wanted to be a director," Delina said with a light in her eyes.

"What happened to the tattoo shop?" I asked quizzically.

"I don't know..." She said glumly. "Honestly, I can't afford it. Between the license, rent, insurance, and who knows what else, it would cost me thousands."

"I believe in you," I told her encouragingly. "If that's what you want, I know you can make it happen."

She looked at me, smiling with her heart. "Thank you, Kallie."

"Don't thank me," I said, resting my hand on her forearm. "I just... want you to succeed."

Delina gave me a peck on the lips, grinning. "That's what I really like about you."

I nodded, my awkwardness coming out in full force. I found it hard to even remember how to smile, much less do so without feeling like an idiot. We settled into a comfortable silence, Delina putting on a movie for some noise after a while. About an hour later, Kevin texted back agreeing to breakfast.

10:06 AM- Sure, see you there

I got up, putting my phone in my pocket and grabbing my car keys. "Ok. I'm gonna head out. You sure you're ok to come with?"

Delina got up and walked to my side with a smile. "Absolutely. Besides, hanging out with you is fun."

We headed to the cafe, arriving before Kevin did. Going inside, I let Delina pick a seat as I watched the people around us. A few minutes after sitting down and ordering food for all three of us, I saw Kevin walk in. He was acting a little more nervous than usual, an odd weight to his walk. When he got to our table, he eyed me almost immediately with a teasing grin as he sat down.

"You must be Delina," He said kindly, the two of them shaking hands. "Kallie's told me about you."

"I have not," I muttered, my cheeks burning.

"Good things, I hope," Delina joked, eyeing me with a chuckle.

"Oh, the best," Kevin assured her. "It's nice to meet you, finally."

"Hey, same. I just-"

My mind drifted off, blocking out their conversation except for the occasional laughter and mention of my name. My thoughts were focused on one thing; the journal. Delina's suggestion to leave it with Bry had started to sound better the more I thought about it. But, I wondered if I could do more. Kevin and Delina were still chatting away, and my wheels were turning at full speed. What if I could do something even better?

A woman walked past me then, a laptop in her arms. She went to the table across from us, setting it up and typing a few minutes later with intense focus. That's when an idea so insane it might work hit me.

"A book!" I blurted out, Delina and Kevin jumping.

"What are you talking about?" Delina asked, her expression fully lost.

My heart started racing, my mind going off with it. "I could write a book."

"Sure," Kevin obliged. "Loads of people can. What would it be about?"

I told them my book idea, and their eyes lit up. They started asking me questions excitedly, making me fill with energy. I felt more invigorated and alive than I ever had, finally feeling like I had something. This would be more than a book. It was going to be a love letter. It was going to be something nobody would expect to read.

"And the ending?" Delina asked, leaning towards me.

"Hang on, wait a minute," Kevin interjected. "Am I in it?"

"Pft! As if. But, I'll be in it, right, Kallie?" Delina asked eagerly. "I want to be badass, and, oh! Maybe you can make my character-"

"Guys!" I laughed, overwhelmed by the excitement and hype. "There's room in it for both of you."

"You're right," Kevin agreed as our food and drinks arrived. "Still, that's awesome, Kallie."

"What about you?" I entered back into the point of being there. "You have news?"

Kevin looked up from his scone, nodding. "Oh, yeah, I do."

"What is it?" Delina asked.

"I'm proposing to Philip. Tonight." He announced nervously, his expression tense.

I squealed out, clapping and jumping. When a few people stared, I calmed down on the outside and grabbed his arm. "Oh, my God! I'm so excited for you! That's amazing!"

For a second, I was elated and happy. Kevin was smiling ear to ear, Delina was giving her congrats, and I forgot. For only a second, I didn't think about the grief and pain that I felt inside. The guilt that was building up for every second I was happy when I shouldn't be. But, deep down, my heart hurt. I was sad and broken, deep down. But, despite that, Kevin and Delina were helping. And I hope they know how much they truly helped.

I could feel my sadness start to bring me down, so I tried to tune back into the conversation. "How are you going to ask?"

"Huh? Oh. I'm probably just going to, I don't know, stick with my original plan. Honestly, I've been going back and forth on it."

"Maybe you could use a cute puppy to hold the ring? That's how I'd want to be asked." Delina suggested.

"Ah, not so sure about that. Philip's allergic. And, animals might not be a good idea just yet. He lives with his parents." Kevin disagreed.

"What about you make a donut, and ask with the frosting?" She offered instead.

"No, he's not really a big donut person," Kevin argued.

"Well, what was your original plan?" I piped up, frowning.

"Uh... well, it's kind of dumb, but... he likes this one band? And they happen to be playing a concert tonight, so I bought tickets." He explained, though I could hear hesitation.

"Didn't work out?" I asked.

"Nah, he's got work. One of the guys here got sick and called out from the night shift, so he has to cover." He told us.

"Damn," Delina grimaced a little. She seemed to have a thought then, and her face brightened. "Wait! I have an idea."

We both looked at her, a plan forming in her eyes. I watched her face, and my heart almost brightened with it. "Let's hear it."

"You and Kevin can pretend that you need help with something, like, I don't know, maybe you dropped your coffee, and then that'll get Philip out here. Then, I'll distract him by asking what's going on, hopefully he'll be focused on me which gives Kevin time to kneel, and then I say he dropped something to which, boom, Kevin asks." She tossed out the idea as quickly as it had come to her, watching us both intently.

"I... love that." I was in awe, and my jaw dropped.

"Thank you," She flipped her hair playfully. She got up to grab something, and I watched her with fascinated amazement the whole time.

"I get it now," Kevin teased as he looked at me.

I rolled my eyes and sighed. "Don't start, Kevin."

"What? I'm not starting!" He argued innocently. "I'm just saying! She's awesome. Are you guys a thing yet or what?"

"Oh, my God!" I burst out laughing, shaking my head. "Will you stop that!"

"Ok, ok!" He laughed back.

We hung out the rest of the day, waiting on Philip and hanging out near the cafe. When the sun had started to set, we headed into the cafe to see Philip just getting started. Kevin suddenly started to back up, his hands clenched.

"I don't know... maybe I can't do this." He mumbled nervously.

"Yes, you can." I grabbed his arm, my chest pounding. No way was I about to let someone give up the chance I never got. "You do this. You get the chance to be happy, and most people would die for that. Come on, you've gotten this far. You can't give up and chicken out now."

Kevin nodded, his breathing still erratic. I walked up to the register with him, Philip giving him a wholehearted smile when he saw him.

"Hey, what's up?" Philip asked us, still setting up the register.

When Kevin remained uncomfortably silent, I spoke up for him. "We needed your help? I think I dropped an earring back there and I can't find it."

"Oh, sure!" Philip walked around the counter and followed me as I led him to the table we'd sat at earlier. When Kevin reached us, he was full of nerves.

As Philip bent down and started to look, Delina walked up to us and went with the plan. "Hey, what's up?"

Philip sat up and smiled at her. "Hey, sorry. Just helping this customer find an earring. Do you need something?"

I nudged Kevin in the stomach, and he paced on his heels for a second before kneeling. Delina grinned, winking at me and then looking at Philip. "Uh, yeah, oddly enough, I think that guy behind you dropped something."

"What?" Philip turned around to look at us, gasping when he saw Kevin on one knee. His jaw dropped before he put his hands to his mouth, and he started crying. "Kev..."

"I know I'm bad at these things, but... I love you. And I want to be with you... for the rest of my life. Will you marry me?" Kevin popped the question while shaking.

"What... Yes! Babe! Oh, my God! I'm so happy!" Philip ran into his arms, grabbing him into a hug and kiss.

"I think our work here is finished," Delina smiled at me, holding my hand gently.

"Yeah. Let's get out of here, babe." I held her hand back, smiling sheepishly as she smiled widely.

We left Kevin and Philip to celebrate, my heart feeling happy for him. One day, you will get to be that happy.