chapter eight — please, do talk about me when i'm gone
[ season one, episode eight ]
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"I was afraid she wasn't gonna get it done in time for the memorial." Aria said as she and Spencer pushed a crate into the living room of Spencer's house. "And this was someone from your moms gallery?" Hanna asked as she and Gwen lounged on the one of the couches, going over stuff for the memorial. "Right." Aria answered as Gwen and Emily stood up. "Where is your mom?" Gwen asked.

"There's an apartment above the gallery, so she's staying there." Aria answered. "For now." she added. Gwen found it strange how Byron Montgomery was the one to stay in the house, considering he was the one that cheated, but she wasn't going to voice her opinion, she didn't wanna start an argument. "Kind of weird, isn't it? Your mom moving out." Hanna said, reading something. Since she and Gwen had shared the same opinion, Hanna was more vocal about it. Aria turned to face her.

"Yeah, like my dad should have left. That's what you'd expect." Aria said bluntly, making the others look between Hanna and Aria. "Aria." Gwen said, tilting her head. Hanna had been in Aria's shoes, except Hanna's dad had actually left. For good. Aria sighed, looking at Hanna, who held a saddened face. "Hey, I'm-I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that." Aria apologised. "Whole things just... sucks."  Aria added as she, Spencer, Gwen and Emily unscrewed the  screws in the crate.

"I know." Hanna responded. "Did anyone call Shelly Leonard?" Emily asked. "Done. And I told her, If she plays anything depressing, I'll kick in her cello." Spencer responded, making everyone laugh. "What about the program?" Gwen asked. "Almost done, but we should finish it before Ali's brother gets here." Spencer answered as Gwen put the screws she's unscrewed on the top of the kitchen counter. "When is that?" Emily asked. "Tonight." Spencer answered. "And he wants to see us in the morning." she added.

"Okay, you know what?" I barely remember Jason." Hanna said, getting off the table and joining them. "We didn't know him, he was just Ali's older brother down the hall." Aria said. "Behind the closed door." Gwen remarked. "With his hardcore punk music vibrating the floor boards." Emily added and the girls shared a laugh. "How did he get into an Ivy League school?" Aria asked.

"I don't know. It must have been affirmative action for goths and emos." Spencer joked as they lifted the lid off the crate and there was the bird bath that had six figures sitting on the edge of it. It was meant to resemble the girls and Alison. "It's beautiful." Aria said. "Pedestal's already out there, next to the bench, this goes up Friday morning." Spencer said.

"Do you think Jason will like it?" Emily asked. "He'll love it." Gwen said softly. "And you know, years from now, people are gonna this memorial, and... and that's all they'll ever know about Ali. she'll be the girl that they dedicated the bench to, and we'll be gone, but Ali will still be remembered." Aria said, and Gwen blinked fast, hoping to get rid of her unshed tears. She thought she was done with crying. "That's immortality my darlings." Spencer quoted Alison.

FLASHBACK

The six girls were enjoying a nice day by the lake. Gwen was seated between Aria and Hanna. "I wish we could just choose the age that we wanted to be and just stay there." Aria said, making Gwen look over as she pushed her sunglasses up on her head. "The only way to do that is to die young. Leave a beautiful corpse." Alison responded. 

"Don't joke," Emily said. "It's not a joke." Alison responded, looking at her before looking at the other girls. "Oh, come on, haven't you ever thought about how deliciously tragic it would be to die in some... incredibly mysterious way? That would be superior." Alison said in her usual 'Mysterious Alison' way.

"Is that really how you want to go, Alison?" Spencer asked. "Not just yet." Alison responded with a shrug. "Don't talk like that." Hanna told her. "It's gruesome." Aria added. "It's not gruesome." Alison responded. "It's immortality, my darlings." she said.

FLASHBACK OVER

"Where did she get that from? A movie?" Aria asked. "Ali was a movie." Spencer responded, staring at the birdbath.

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Gwen sat next to Spencer as she, Emily, Aria and Spencer sat in front of Jason DiLaurentis. Hanna still wasn't there. "Mom and dad and I are really grateful," Jason said as the door opened to Spencer's sidedoor, making them all look to see Hanna, "There she is!" Jason said, smiling as Hanna looked over at the girls, "Jason!" Hanna said, in the same tone as he had, "Uh, hey," she added as they shared a brief, awkward, hug. "Sorry, I'm late." Hanna said before she went to sit between Aria and Gwen.

"It's no problem, I was just saying you've done some lovely work on the memorial. I might have done one or two things differently but we can adjust that along the way." Jason said. Gwen held back an eye roll. "Here's a copy of the program for the dedication." he added and Gwen sneaked a glance at Spencer, knowing she made the program. "Oh, I emailed you the program that we worked up." Spencer butted in.

"Right. I saw the draft. This just fine-tunes it." Jason responded and Gwen was sure Spencer was gonna blow a fuse. "Uh, let's see, uh, if Shelly Leonard's gonna play something I don't think we can give her more than three minutes. I remember she's somewhat of a showboat with that cello." Jason said and the girls laughed softly. "Then, uh... oh." he said, picking up a photo of Alison. "Is this the picture for the program?" he asked. "Yes. It's everybody's favourite." Emily responded.

Jason takes a moment, staring at the picture of his sister. "It's the one I would have picked," he responded softly and Gwen remembered, she didn't know how she forgot, but Ali wasn't just their best friend, she was his younger sister. This was harder for him than it was for them, he had known her, her entire life. "I thought I was gonna be able to get my whole family out here but you know, at the last minute, my mom, um..." he trailed off before laughing.

"It's crazy talking about this, isn't it?" he asked and the girls nodded slightly. "When I think about her, I-I think about you. The six of you, In-in her bedroom, laughing, keeping secrets." he said, and the girls looked at one another discreetly. "Long time ago," he added as he walked around and grabbed his coffee. "I want each of you to speak. I'd rather hear from you than Mrs. Slocomb from the PTA." he said before taking a sip of his coffee. "The PTA was a lot of help." Spencer said. "What about the rain?" he asked. "The rain?" Spencer asked, confused. "Forty percent chance before the weekend," he answered. "Oh, um, they said that we can use the school's multipurpose room if we have to move the ceremony inside." Spencer responded.

"Great." Jason said. "People think this dedication is about closure." he added, placing his hand on an art tile. "There won't be closure until they find out who did this to Alison. The cops in this town have been jerking my family around for more than a year. No more of that, I'm here to get some action and this memorial is gonna help me get it." he said. 

"Oh, and I'm adding one speaker to the program." he said, writing down something on the program draft. "Jenna Marshall?" Emily asked, shocked. "Wait, you want Jenna to speak at the dedication?" Gwen asked, confused. "That's right." he answered. "Why?" Aria asked. "She asked me if she could." Jason responded and Gwen furrowed her brows, confused. "Jenna asked to speak?" Emily asked. "Is there a problem?" Jason asked, looking at the girls. "I-It just didn't occur to us that Alison and Jenna were that close." Spencer remarked.

"Yeah, I didn't know either. Jenna called, and said my sister was a lot of help to her after her accident." Jason told them. "Well, concentrate on what you're gonna say. Leave the rest of it to me." he said, packing up. "Now, I'm going to have a talk with Detective Wilden and find out why they haven't located Toby yet," he added before he left the room, Spencer going with him, to walk him out.

"Did we get fired?" Hanna asked. "Han, keep it down." Gwen responded. "Why is he talking to Jenna?" Emily asked. "I don't know." Aria responded. "What does she have to say?" Emily asked. "Nothing good I bet." Gwen said as they heard the door close. "This is turning into a nightmare." Aria said. "What did he say?" Gwen asked Spencer as she walked back into the room. "Nothing. He just kept smiling like he was running for office." Spencer responded.

"Spence, why does Jenna want to speak at the dedication?" Aria asked. "Why does Jason want her there? I mean, he clearly knows they weren't friends." Hanna asked. "We can't let Jenna speak." Emily said. "Well, how are we gonna stop her without looking like bitches?" Aria asked. "How are we gonna stop her at all? In case you guys didn't notice we just got patted on the head and sent off to play." Spencer responded.

"You know what? You need to stay on top of him. Find out what's going on." Hanna said to Spencer. "Why me?" Spencer asked. "Because you're you. The big organizer, you've got the laptop of all knowledge and he's going to need some of that." Gwen responded. "Jenna could get up there, she could tell about the fire and Toby. she could tell about everything." Emily said.

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At school, Gwen was on the phone to her mom. "I'll make dinner tonight, if you promise to get ice cream on your way home," Gwen said, smiling. "Of course sweetheart. Peanut butter ice cream?" Sophia McKnight asked over the phone and Gwen smiled. "Of course." she said. "Okay. I've gotta go, but I'll see you tonight." her mom said before she hung up. As Gwen was walking through the cafeteria, she spotted Emily outside, staring into space, worried, Gwen moved quickly, opening the door, alerting Emily to her presence.

"Em?" she asked, making Emily turn to her. "What's wrong?" she asked. "It's my dad." Emily said, making Gwen's heart stop momentarily. Emily's father was a part of the army, usually out of town for months at a time. "Is he okay?" Gwen asked. "He's okay." Emily said, smiling. "He's... better than okay. They're rotating his unit out of Afghanistan. My dad's coming home." Emily said, and Gwen let out a small breath and smiled at her friend.

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The next night, Gwen was doing her homework in the living room, watching some show when her phone went off, with a message from Spencer, S.O.S. Gwen wrote a note for her mom to read when she came home so she didn't worry before heading to Spencer's. "So she tried to pin it on you?" Hanna asked as the girls were huddled in Spencer's living room. Jason had told Spencer that Alison had told Jason that The Jenna Thing was Spencer's idea rather than her own.

"That's what she told Jason." Spencer responded as she fluffed up some pillows on her couch before sitting down on it and putting a pillow on her lap. "But why you?" Emily asked. "Because Spencer was able to stand up to her, she didn't like that." Gwen responded. "God, this is officially insane!" Hanna scoffed as she sat across from Spencer. "Is that what she told Jenna when she was at the hospital?" Emily asked, sitting next to Hanna. "I don't know. I don't think so, but I don't know." Spencer responded.

"Okay, so, so, one minute she's trying to cover it up, the next she's ratting us out to her brother?" Aria said, confused. "Like she wanted Jason to know the fake story in case anything happened to her." Emily said. "Why?" Hanna asked. "So they'd know who to blame." Spencer answered. "God, this is still her movie, we're just filling up the screen." Gwen let out, pissed off that Alison's mistakes are biting them in the ass, even after she's dead.

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Spencer's speech was the first one, so the girls watched as she walked up the podium in the schools' multipurpose room, because it had actually started raining. The girls noticed that Spencer's gaze was locked onto something behind them before she looked at the girls, making them turn to see Ian Thomas, Melissa Hasting's ex-boyfriend. "Ian?" Aria asked, confused. "Wait, Melissa's Ian?" Hanna asked. "Yeah," Gwen responded.

"Um..." Spencer trailed off before closing her journal she had written in. "I can't remember not knowing Alison. Not having her as a friend. She was the first person I knew long enough that I felt I could be angry with, without worrying that I was gonna lose her. It made me feel like something was gonna last." Spencer said, looking at the smiling picture of Alison DiLaurentis. "And you need that. You know, especially when you're a kid." she continued. "She would have liked that you were all here, she would have liked the attention, no... actually she would love attention, It would have made her laugh, and Alison laughing... that was amazing." She finished. 

After Spencer, it was Gwen's turn. "I spent most my childhood, bouncing from foster home to foster home, and I had never had a friend before, but when I moved to Rosewood, and got taken in my by mom and I met Alison, I finally felt like I had a place to fit in, I had a friend, and I will always remember this energetic fourteen year old girl coming over to me, asking me if I wanted to hangout with her after school. I'm glad I said yes." Gwen said before making her way down to her seat between Hanna and Aria.

After her was Hanna. "Friends can be hard on you, maybe they expect more from you than strangers, strangers pretty much see you the way you want them to see you, but... you can't fool friends. That's what made them friends." she said.

After Hanna was Emily. "That corner of the park is gonna be a safe place, where you can go and sit, read a book and just think," she paused. "You should think about Alison while you're there, she'd want to make sure you didn't forget about her." she finished.

Aria was next. "You do something like this, a memorial. It's partly because you don't understand what's happened, so you-you plant flowers and you paint tiles and somewhere in the middle of all that work," she paused. "You stop crying, I guess that's the point." she finished. 

Finally, it was Jenna's turn. They watched as Jason helped Jenna walk towards the podium. "We think we know who we are, but we don't. Not until something bad happens to us and then all the useless things fall away and we're left with who we really are. I learnt that from Alison DiLaurentis." she started.

"My whole life, I thought I knew who she was but I found out the truth when she came and talked to me at the hospital." she paused. "I found out that she was the strongest person that I had ever met and It's her strength that touched so many people. Shaped them, that's her real legacy, that's how her memory will endure, in the actions of those she inspired in so many different ways, from all of us... thank you, Alison." she finished.

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After the dedication the girls and Jason had gone back to Spencers. "I need sugar." Hanna sighed. "Me too." Aria added as they all sat down around the kitchen island. "I'm buying." Spencer said as she opened her fridge as Jason entered the kitchen. "That was my folks." he remarked. "They say thanks, and so do I." he added, leaning his hands on the counter.

"You're welcome." Emily responded. "And i want you girls to have something." he said as he took something out from the inside of his suit jacket. He pulled out a little red-pink bag with yellow lining. "The police returned this to my family, I think you should have it." he said before putting the little red-pink bag and a bracelet on the table. Alisons' friendship bracelet, identical to the one that was in Spencer's room right now.

"The police gave that to you?" Gwen asked as Aria picked it up. Jason nodded. "Alison was wearing it." he answered. "You mean when they found her?" Hanna asked. "After listening today, I just thought you should have it," he said. It was a nice sentiment, if they weren't all freaked out because they had found another bracelet with Alisons's name on it.

"I'll be in touch." he said before leaving. "If that's Alison's bracelet, what about the one we found in the woods?" Emily asked. "I don't know." Gwen responded. "Someone made a copy of Alison's bracelet." Hanna let out, shocked. "Yeah, and made sure we would find it." Spencer added and the girls shared a look.

⎯ AUTHORS NOTE
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