Paul

Drip. Drip. Drip.

The quiet of the room is broken at intervals by that sound, I wait with a hand on my jaw, watching the doctor conduct his usual check up on my babe. Ifunaya lay on my big bed, an IV attached to a pole which links to a needle connected to her vein. The bed makes her lithe figure appear smaller and my chest tightens at the sight of her pale face. I did this to her and by God, I will fix it.

Her chest rises and falls with every breath she takes, my eyes centre on her closed eyelids like it will force it open. The doctor said she lost a lot of blood so the IV would help, plus, she will need to be put on bed rest for a certain period. That part will be easy, I don't mind having to lock her up in a room with me or turning into her houseboy but she will be getting all the rest in the world. No chores for her, I can do them.

The bullet hit her right below her floating rib, she's lucky it didn't hit the large intestine.

That was the doctor's analysis six days ago, whatever it meant I still don't know but he had smiled, assured me it was good news. It is the only thing that matters, I refuse to let the big, confusing terms dampen my spirit.

"What of the baby?" I finally ask the doctor when he takes a step away from the bed and nods. My hands fall to my side, I sigh and look at his face. Over the past few days she has been unconscious, I struggled and failed to get those words out of my lips. "You haven't mentioned it. Is that a good sign?"

That slimy bastard, King finally found a way to put a permanent label on her, how am I supposed to compete with that? I almost burst into mirthless laughter at the idea of us dating while her stomach grows with another man's child inside. She will be the baby mama to a man she claims to have no feelings for. Bullshit. A quick way to fall in love, the fastest way to start a family.

Will she keep the baby?

Abortion is a no-go area for me, all lives matter but this whole situation makes my head throb from thinking about it. I pull a strand out of my beards, I am not sure I can handle it, seeing her grow with his child.

"What baby?" replies the young, handsome doctor who looks to be in his early thirties.

Putting my hand over my stomach to mime the stance of a pregnant woman with a baby bump, my eyes dart between Ifunaya's face and the doctor's, I arch a brow, silently waiting for his verdict. My heart gallops with an intensity that has me fearing it will burst out of my chest, blood rushes to my ears and I have trouble hearing the doctor the first time he speaks. I clear my throat, beg him to repeat himself and he smiles.

"I said there's no baby," he starts with a nod, "there was never any baby." His face holds confusion as I pump my fist into the air but I don't care to explain. There is no baby.

Relief spreads through me as my body sinks into the bed to touch her, my heart slows down and I have a hard time wiping the smile off my face. I am almost tempted to squeeze the doctor in a tight hug for being the bearer of good news, instead, I pace to the door with my fingers running through my hair and return to caress Ifunaya's temple, litter light kisses on her knuckles.

"Sometimes when a lady is stressed, uses certain birth control pills or her weight keeps fluctuating, it affects her menstrual cycle. It probably was just a pregnancy scare." I nod at this, his words go through my right ear and comes out from the left.

"Can I see?" I point to her stomach, he nods but I don't move an inch from my position on the edge of the bed. The realisation that a scar now mars my girlfriend's beautiful body due to my secrecy keeps my hands glued to my knees. Will she hate me for it?

The doctor said there will be no scarring, I don't trust his words on that but I hope for all of our sakes, he's right. I can do so many things to lighten the events of the last few days but I can't erase those dreadful memories if there is a permanent reminder.

"Are you okay?" the doctor asks.

"Yeah," I nod, "that's all. Thank you, doctor." He offers me a small smile, scans her face for the last time and takes his leave.

Drawing circles on the back of Ifunaya's hand does nothing to ease my restlessness and my fingers find their way into her hair, trying to make a neat mess out of it. I sigh. My eyes close and I let the sequence of events of the last few days tumble over me.

According to the doctor's diagnosis, she is in shock, everything is fine but he can't give a waking time yet. I sigh, my heart thumps. In short, it is up to her but I want to be the first person she sees when she wakes. I spend all my time in this same position, hoping and praying for the best, I can't help the niggling feeling that something bad will happen. Maybe the madness of the past weeks have contributed to that fear, I don't know but I am glad we are safe now. I still need to talk to daddy, Mr Adams ignored my apology.

I join her under the duvet, one hand resting on her stomach with my cheek propped on the other one. My body goes rigid at the caress of the back of my hand, I open my eyes and my breath catches in my throat. Brown orbs stare around in confusion before coming to rest on my face and my breathing returns to normal. My excitement leaves me unable to smile so I settle for a vigorous nod, tears of joy quickly filling my eyes. Ifunaya is awake. My baby is awake.

My heart flutters when she turns to offer me a small smile and my thumb moves to caress her lip as if to convince myself she is real. A smile finally finds its way to my face, I kiss her smack on the lips and chuckle when she groans as I begin to pepper kisses all over her face. I will do right by her this time, no more secrets. I place a kiss on her forehead, smiling as the action unlocks a flood of fond memories. My eyes don't leave her beautiful face, she is awake, she is here.

"W-who are you?" she asks, pushing my arm away from her. My heart slows down, I scan her face for any hint of mischief and a shiver of dread trickles down my spine when she doesn't burst out laughing.

She makes to sit up, with poorly concealed shock, I offer to help and she flinches when my hand touches her lower back. The pillow in my grip drops to the bed, I let out a shaky breath and offer her an apologetic smile. Her action stings, the pain spreads throughout my chest and I almost forget about being a man so I can scream, cry out my frustrations. We have come too far for this to be happening, too fucking far. My eyes sting from holding back my tears, I pat the pillow and explain my intentions.

After much conviction and promises, she allows me to put a pillow behind her back for her comfort. I cast her a tentative look, I am the joker, not her, so what is happening? Her empty smile sends a knife through my heart and I place a hand over my chest as if to soothe the pain. Even when we were not dating, she never offered me one of these smiles. I grimace and press a button by the bedside to let the doctor know she is awake.

We sit on opposite ends of the bed in tense silence while waiting for the doctor, the most awkward in our history of knowing each other. I try not to look her way to avoid being mocked by that blank expression but I fail and my breath ceases when she glares at me. My thoughts are a jumbled mess as I look away with a heavy heart, this can't be.

I never paid much attention to biology in junior secondary school but I am certain a wound to the stomach should not affect the memory. A sigh escapes me and I run my fingers through my face, I don't know, the only things I know are recipes and cooking.

The door to my room opens, I jump out of the bed and my shoulders sag in relief as the doctor steps in with Chi and Mr Adams on his tail. He checks for her vitals, I wait with bated breath for another diagnosis while my fingernails try not to pierce my palms. Chi takes my former position beside Ifunaya, a small smile on her lips when the doctor concludes she's fine and should be confined to more bed rest. We can do that.

I see red when Ifunaya laughs at something the doctor says and the only thing that stops me from snapping is Mr Adams hand on my shoulder which I shrug off. I should be the one making jokes with her, the person she's excited to see not a strange man she just met. Are doctors her type now? I scoff. If that's the case, we can always roleplay, I can get a white lab coat and stethoscope, those are not hard to find, all she has to do is ask. Ask and she shall receive. Fuck. Why won't she look at me with that same familiarity?

The doctor offers her a bottle of water, I nod and scowl, he is scoring more points with her due to my forgetfulness. He detaches the IV from her wrist, makes another joke that almost has me lunging at him when she laughs and taps his arm playfully. That's our thing. We are getting her a new doctor after this, this one is highly unprofessional and should not be around her or us anymore.

My shoulders sag once he takes his leave and Chi pulls her in for a bone-crushing hug, only breaking apart to let Mr Adams take over. They are careful not to disturb the part of her stomach where the stitches rest, their eyes skim her whole body for hidden wounds and she giggles in return.

Scratching the back of my head, I shift my weight to the other foot and a heaviness descends on my shoulders at seeing how happy she seems without my interference. I sigh and rub my eyes with the back of my hand, I can't do this memory loss shit with her. This is unfair. She's breaking my heart.

They step away from her, Chi pulls me down to take her place and I pretend to be alright when Ifunaya recoils after I make a move to hug her. Yeah, it is no big deal, I can deal with rejection from my girlfriend who I have longed for her to wake. If the people in the room notice, they don't say a word but the air grows thick with tension as I move to stand behind Chi. At least, I tried.

Chi comes to our rescues by scrunching her nose in fake disgust to say, "You stink."

We burst into laughter at the comical look on her face, she raises her hand to sniff her armpit and giggles. She doesn't stink, if she does, I don't mind, I don't care, I still want her. I just want my Ifunaya back. God. Our laughs quiet down, Mr Adams scolds Chi who sticks her tongue out, places a kiss on Ifunaya's forehead, reiterates the doctor's instructions to stay in bed and leaves.

"What happened?" she asks Chi who spares me a glance. I shrug, we were in the room together and she didn't ask me so she has to answer. I already gave Chi a summarised version of events and I am still getting hell for it, from daddy and Mr Adams. They don't seem so pleased with my stupidity.

Ifunaya's gaze travels to me, I want to look away, wallow in my anger at her outright rejection but I can't. Chi clothes fit her snuggly, her hair has gone flat from laying down for too long but she manages to pull it off effortlessly. Her collarbone peeks from the shirt, I make a mental note to stuff her with her favourite meals and snacks if she will be okay accepting anything from me. I sigh, why does it have to be me? Why me?

"What happened?" she directs it to me.

Let's see? You were shot, had a pregnancy scare and now partial memory loss.

"You fainted," I murmur. I can't blame her for forgetting those traumatic experience, in truth, I am glad she did but I shouldn't be obliterated from her memory. We were in it together. She loves me, I am her babe.

She nods, not even a smile, I purse my lips and sigh when she starts smiling at Chi who volunteers to get her food. I can't even get a small smile, sarcastic or fake. Looking away from her to Chi, a corner of my lips twitches as they share an unspoken joke and I bask in the euphoria of their love. They can easily pass off as family but she will only become a real family once her memory returns and it better be soon. It has to be.

Chi throws a sly smile in my direction, she wiggles her eyebrows suggestively as she exits the door and I scoff. I can't even get a smile from her let alone a hug or a kiss.

The awkwardness returns in triple folds, I take a seat at the end of the bed, ignoring how quick she is to tuck her feet under the duvet and away from my view. I try to remind myself that she didn't do that because of me but the mocking laughter ringing in my head has that assurance dying. Who am I kidding? She forgot me.

"Do you?" I start and take a deep breath. "Do you really not remember who I am?" She has a mild concussion but she is fine, the doctor promised that. All she needs is rest.

I make to reach for her arm but stop myself before it's too late, I can't handle another rejection even if it's in private, it will shatter the remaining pieces of my heart. My brow arches in anticipation, I try to soften my features as I gawk at her for a reply.

"No. I'm sorry, am I supposed to know you?" she asks and I let out a stifled groan. Great.

Confusion mars her pretty features, her eyes follow my hands running through my face. I offer her a small smile and nod, this is only a phase, she will regain her memory. Without meaning to, I edge closer to her and breathe out in relief when she doesn't flinch. It's small progress but it soothes me.

"I don't understand. But you remember the other two." It doesn't make sense, except she is being mischievous. I hook a finger under her chin and suck in a sharp breath when she maintains eye contact, there's no sign of mischief in those doe eyes. "Why am I different? Because I lied?" My voice cracks, her face breaks into a sad smile, her mouth parts open like she wants to speak but she doesn't say a word. I mutter, "I thought you loved me, love doesn't forget."

The trembling of her lower lip causes my finger to drop, I move away and mutter an apology. I didn't mean to upset her. "I'm sorry. What's the last thing you remember?"

Lines of worry mar her forehead, her eyes close and she exhales. "There was a guy. He was pointing a gun at me. Then black, black is all I see." Her eyelids flutter open. "Sorry, that's all I remember." I offer her a smile when all I want to do is hug her to show she did good and my hand reaches out to massage her foot when her expression morphs into one of sadness. She whispers, "Aaron. He was the guy with the gun," she sucks in a sharp breath, "he shot me."

On cue, she pulls up her shirt and her fingers circle the tiny stitch on her stomach. We told the doctor to make it as invisible as possible and he did try his best, it's half the length of my thumb. The concentration she puts into staring at it has me shifting, her flawless skin is marred because of me. She doesn't look up when I clear my throat, guilt prickles my skin, I scratch the back of my head and try to focus on the fact she is alive.

"It will heal, the doctor promised there will be no scarring," I mutter, more for my sake than hers. She nods. "You don't have to worry about Aaron, you are safe now."

I find myself bridging the distance between us, my arms go around her and I will her to relax and take the comfort I am offering but she doesn't. She remains stiff in my arms as if waiting for me to disappear, I retract my hands to pat my knees and smile sadly. This shouldn't be happening, this should be a joyous moment, we survived that psycho.

She lifts her eyes from her stomach, I sigh as her fingers relocate to her neck, trailing a line on her collarbone. Her pendant, it was missing when they brought her in and I grimace when she twirls something in the air, unsure if to call her attention to it.

"I'm sorry," I whisper and offer a painful smile. I caused this, my family did this and I deserve to be forgotten, it's a small price to pay for the pain I caused her. "I'm sorry."

Her actions pause long enough for her to sink her teeth into her lower lip. "For what?"

"For everything."

She caresses my cheek with the back of her hand, a moan escapes me as her fingers weave into my beards and I lean into her loving touch. I have missed it, I need more. I need her. I wrap my hands around her wrists to stay her movements, she smiles.

"Don't be. I'm sure it's not your fault."

Her hand returns to her side, she pulls her top down and I sigh, I already miss the feel of her soft hands. I need her to embrace me, tell me she remembers everything but is only playing a cruel trick on me, a penance I deserve. Fuck. I need my woman back, the Ifunaya who adores me, not this familiar stranger in her body. I need her back.

Seconds pass, I sigh. "Let me check on Chi, I don't know what's taking her so long."

She gives a close-lipped smile and my chest falls in defeat. Making my way outside, I frown at a morose looking Chi standing by the door without food or water and raise a hand to stop her from offering sympathy or whatever she thinks I need from the few seconds she spent eavesdropping. Hasn't she heard of the word privacy? Goodness.

Without a word to her, I make my way to the doctor who has a lot of explaining to do.

**********

Picture: Mawuli Gavor.

Who noticed the line from John Wick 3?

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