To not have something someone else has,
It's associated with the color green
"Green with envy"

As they say
To desire what someone else has
Covet it even

Coveting,
desiring to be part of it
But why do
i want to be included?
Maybe I'm jealous too

Not part of
a friend group
Or the activities
Feelings of anger
Wrongful rage stew within
False blaming even

Just to feel included
To be acknowledged
To feel like I'm one of them
His friend
It's not worth it
Blaming others,
Solves nothing

Blame myself
Nothing else
I can do
Not their fault
Only my own

White heat swirling inside
My fault
Blood boiling ,
like a pot full of water
"It's not fair"
"Why do they get to be his friend?"
"Why not me too?"
let it go,
I tell myself

Is wanting to be called his friend
worth the anger
jealousy,
Annoyance?
No

Move on
Don't think about it
not that important
Do something else

(Jan 23 2022)