Something that's been important to me during my healing journey has been making the best of every day. It's been reminding myself of the blessings that I have. It's been looking on the bright side while also acknowledging my feelings. It's been using affirmations to boost my mindset and increase positivity.

      And I've genuinely been the happiest I've ever been these past two years. Most days I'm happier than I could have ever imagined. Positivity comes with ease... Most days.

     Some days are still bad.

     And no matter how much I try to change that, I can't. I can't because bad days are natural. While I acknowledge this notion, it doesn't change the fact that I panic a little when I have a bad day. I think: Am I falling into my bad habits of the past?

     And then my bad day becomes so much worse, because I begin to feel inferior for allowing myself to feel those negative emotions.

     My newest goal has been to accept the bad days, rather than try to berate myself for not being able to overcome them.

      I heard this quote on Tiktok that went something like this: "Enjoy everyday that you can." Meaning enjoy every day that is in your capacity. That's all you can do. You can't force happiness.

      Some days are shitty. Some days we're too exhausted to have that dance party in the kitchen. Some days you have no motivation to take care of yourself; no motivation to go to the gym, cook a meal from scratch, wash your hair, and so on.

      That doesn't mean that you're failing. That doesn't mean that you have a poor mindset. That doesn't mean you're lazy or worthless.

      It means that you're human.

     Life isn't always easy.

     Life throws countess losses our way. Would you feel the pressing need to make the best of your day when attending a funeral? Would you be overcome with the same feelings that hit you when you spend a day in bed, instead of maintaining productivity?

      I would like to think not. Because you are likely overcome with grief, and your capacity to enjoy the day is much different than your capacity would be during any other day.

      While you can certainly look on the bright side and try to celebrate their life, try to remember the good memories and cherish in the time you had together, that doesn't mean that you're not still going to grieve. It doesn't take away the sense of loss or agony.

      You would never criticize someone for failing to enjoy their day when they've just come home from a funeral. So in a similar fashion, don't criticize yourself if you need a day to rest. A day to rot in bed. A day to scroll on your phone and do nothing.

     Of course, if it becomes a habit and you seem incapable of escaping it, seek help. But, again, don't criticize yourself, because there could be more at play than you realize. You're likely still acting to your highest capacity, even though that capacity may be different than your peers.

      We all face different battles.

      Don't be so hard on yourself if you can't enjoy every single day.