Every book I finish
I end with the title of the book
Though here too, I have gone through so much
My warrior path
Blocked
For nearly 4 years

I cannot continue writing in this book
Even though the last poem I wrote
Was on my birthday last September
I must start a new one
From the depth, darkness
Where I find myself now

My only hope is that as I continue to write
And can continue to write
Or just return to writing again
Darkness, will abate, or turn to light,
or I can finally go home

I am not a warrior anymore
For now I'm just a prisoner in my own body
Looking for a way to escape
Be it into life or not

I've passed the 8.5 year mark of ME remission
But something else has taken over
And made me feel like a shell
Of my former self

Perhaps though my life is hopeless
I can crawl out again
And get back at least something that I lost
If not....what shall be will be.