Elle stumbles a step back, her knees jelly-like, and for a second, she fails to conjure the strength to open her mouth to talk. Every nerve is stimulated and on high alert, her breathing ragged and uneven.

"What are you doing?" she asks. "Didn't you say you're not in love with me anymore?"

"What does love have to do with anything?" Naoki lets her go and rests his back against the desk, folding his arms. He responds coolly, "So, is it working?"

Elle gulps, widening the gap between her and Naoki in the hope of thinking of a witty comeback. But there's no witty comeback. Only honesty is all that comes to mind.

"Yes," she confesses.

The surprise on Naoki's face is palpable, his eyelashes fluttering as he mumbles an "Oh."

Just then, the doorbell rings, interrupting the tense moment. Somebody's at the front door. Elle hastily moves past Naoki, descending the staircase with urgency. She's basically admitted she's not over him, and all he could say was Oh.

She swings open the door, revealing her Auntie Cynthia's family of four.

"Ate Elle!" Cindy and Theo, her cousins, yell at the same time.

Elle is thrilled to see her family and returns their hugs, arching her back in excitement, and grateful for the distraction.

"Merry Christmas!" Auntie Cynthia, her mother's youngest sister, says, her red sequin dress shimmering in the sunlight.

"Merry Christmas!" Elle replies, pulling away from the hug and kissing Auntie Cynthia and Uncle Jerry on their cheeks. "It's so great to see you!"

She takes the hands of her cousins and steps aside. "Please come in."

As Elle's relatives walk into the house, Naoki emerges from the stairs and bows immediately. "Hello, good afternoon. My name is Naoki."

The couple exchange glances with each other and extend their arms to shake his hand. "Hi, Naoki. It's nice to meet you," Uncle Jerry says.

Auntie Cynthia inclines her head in wonder, gazing at Naoki curiously.

Elle feels the need to clarify. "He's a friend of mine. From Japan."

"Ah. A friend," Auntie Cynthia repeats skeptically.

Elle welcomes the visitors with drinks and some chips, while the children play with their iPad. Naoki and her relatives chat in the living room. Her Uncle Jerry is an architect, and with that, they find something in common to talk about. Elle's mother comes down a few minutes after, relieving Auntie Cynthia and Elle of potential awkwardness.

Elle joins the group but opts to sit on the floor with her cousins, consciously avoiding eye contact with Naoki, who are with the adults relaxing on the couch. Tonight isn't the right time to discuss their relationship and where it's going.

"So you're from LA," Uncle Jerry mutters, breaking the silence. "Then you moved back to Japan?"

"Yes. I was born in the US, so I have US citizenship. But I graduated in Tokyo, and I've been working for a Japanese company. Recently, we partnered with the Philippine government for a road-building project."

"That sounds like a great job," he remarks, impressed.

"And how'd you meet our niece?" Auntie Cynthia probes.

Elle glimpses at Naoki, who smiles softly before answering. "I met Elle when she came to visit Zoe in Japan. We became friends through Zoe."

"Ah... Through Zoe. That's wonderful."

As the conversation progresses, Uncle Jerry asks, "Until when will you be here?"

"First week of January," Naoki responds. Elle's muscles stiffen, and she counts the remaining days. Two weeks. She has two weeks to make it happen.

Theo suddenly lets out a wail. "I died!"

"Let me do it!" Cindy steals the iPad from Theo's hands.

"No! I'm not done!"

"Kids, don't fight," Auntie Cynthia says sternly, but the warning has little effect as the two continue bickering. Elle attempts to intervene but to no avail.

"Cindy, Theo–"

"How about I teach you a trick?" Naoki suggests, crouching down in front of the two kids. Their eyes widen in surprise at the interference of a stranger. "I've finished the game lots of times. I'll show you how to beat it."

Theo, with his big round eyes, quietly hands the iPad to Naoki.

Naoki glances over at Elle and asks, "Do you mind?"

"Um no, of course," she utters, and she's successfully booted out of the kids' group. Naoki sits between the two, their tiny heads leaning very close to him as he shows them how to play the game. Elle wonders how he can see what's on the screen when they're blocking the view. But at least they've stopped crying and fighting, and she's thankful nonetheless.

As she watches Naoki interact with her family, she restrains a smile, adoration bubbling up in her chest. Naoki is the last person she thinks who can diffuse a child's tantrums, but it seems that when it comes to gaming, he's the perfect person for the job.

After dinner, Auntie Cynthia takes the gold star out for the Christmas tree. Naoki lifts Cindy up so she can place the decoration on top, and everyone cheers, including Elle, whose feelings become clearer every hour.

Naoki fits into the family dynamic perfectly. And she wants to keep him here. With her.

Elle changes into a green floral sweetheart dress for noche buena, and she turns several times in front of the mirror before leaving the room. As she descends the stairs, she notices her mother and Naoki coming in. Naoki's skin has always been pale, but there's something strange about the way his face appears gaunt, and his eyes seem devoid of life. When he lifts his head and sees her, he grins and gives her a small wave, causing Elle to push her worries aside.

"What did you guys do outside?" Elle asks.

"We just went out for some fresh air," her mother responds, eagerly darting her gaze to the wall clock. "We have five minutes!"

She rushes off to talk to their guests, leaving Elle with Naoki for the first time since the moment they shared in her room.

"Um, hey," she stammers awkwardly.

"Hey."

"Thanks for dealing with my cousins earlier, by the way."

"I barely did anything," he says, shrugging. "I basically stole the iPad."

Elle smooths her skirt down, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. "I guess so... I didn't take you as someone who'll be good with kids."

Naoki furrows his eyebrows. "Why not?"

"Dunno. Never pictured you interacting with one, I suppose."

Naoki looks down at his feet, compressing his lips. "I get it. It's not something you'd probably imagine unless you see a future with the person."

Before Elle can react, the clock strikes midnight, and her family erupts into cheers of "Merry Christmas!"

Naoki offers his own greeting and brushes past Elle to join the celebration, his shoulder grazing hers in a split second.

Elle's mind goes blank as she tries to confirm whether she misheard him. She can feel her heart constricting like someone has smacked her on the chest and has now sat there. Didn't he get it when she said yes to his question? She has admitted she's never forgotten him. Wasn't she clear enough?

Elle turns around and watches her family feast on the delicious holiday meal, the kids tugging Auntie Cynthia's clothes so they can start unwrapping the Christmas presents.

The atmosphere is festive, and everyone's in such high spirits. But for some reason, there's a nagging feeling of dread lingering within Elle as if something's gone terribly wrong.

Fifteen minutes to midnight, Naoki steps out for some fresh air and to call his parents. They tell him they miss him and that they're waiting for him to come back, and Naoki puts on a show of enthusiasm. For sure, he's undeniably yearning to see them, but he's grown accustomed to the Philippines. And he's gotten used to being with Elle; he can't fathom going back to long-distance. It's really either Elle moves with him, or they'll have to part ways. For good.

"Naoki."

Tita Rose locks the gate behind her and approaches him, covering herself with a royal blue shawl. "Why are you here outside?"

"I had to call my parents, Tita," he replies, depositing the phone back into his pocket. "What about you?"

"I want to talk to you about something."

Naoki cocks his head to the side. Tita Rose motions forward, her lips pressed together firmly. "It's about Elle. My daughter... She's changed over the past few years. Do you know why?"

He shakes his head. "Elle hasn't told me anything. Even when she was breaking up with me... She only said she'd fallen out of love."

Tita Rose draws a deep breath. "I'm sorry."

"No, Tita. Don't apologize. Elle and I... We're going to fix it. But I wish she'd tell me the truth. About why she ended things with me," he confesses. "Our relationship wasn't easy, but I always believed it was worth it."

She nods, patting Naoki's shoulder.

"There were a lot of things she kept from me. I don't even know where to begin," she groans. "For starters, Elle failed a few of her law school classes when they transitioned to remote learning. Then, when her father passed away, she took a leave of absence from school. She almost dropped out altogether, but thankfully, Zoe convinced her to stay and finish her degree. But Elle... She always struggled with her self-esteem. Her friends, Seth and Zoe, were honor students, and she wasn't. I know I shouldn't be saying this, but I could tell. I'm her mother. We're not blood-related, but I could feel that it weighed on her."

Naoki flinches. "I'm sorry to interrupt, Tita... You're not... You're not blood-related?"

"Yes. Elle is adopted. We brought her home when she was about six. It's not something we talk about often. I just think you should know." Tita Rose drops her gaze, sadness etched on her face as she carries the weight of the secrets she's revealing one by one. "Elle often questioned if she was cut out for the profession, so it was a huge relief when she passed the bar on her first try. The anxiety she felt leading up to the exam was really tough on her."

Tita Rose pauses. "This must be a lot to process."

Naoki shakes his head, digesting the information he's being fed, like jigsaw parts now beginning to make sense. How could he have missed the signs?

"No... It's just... I had no idea," he mutters quietly. "And Elle's insomnia...?"

Tita Rose visibly sinks her fingers into her arms, encasing herself in a protective hug. "She developed it after her father's death," she sighs. "Elle caught the virus first. She tested positive but was asymptomatic."

The truth hits Naoki like a ton of bricks.

Elle broke up with him just in time when Tito Benjie was admitted to the hospital because of COVID-19. Prior to that, they'd postponed their trip to Hong Kong indefinitely, the one trip they were looking forward to so they could reunite. And she struggled with school. She told him about it, but she made it sound as if she got it under control. He was so stupid to not have read between the lines.

Plus, Kaori. She must've heard about Kaori around that time.

There were a lot of things she had to deal with. Didn't she think he could help be someone she could rely on? Was he that useless?

Naoki recalls Elle's last words to him before she cut him out of her life: What are we even doing?

"I want my daughter to be happy, Naoki," she states, her tone pleading. "Please make her happy."

Naoki wants that, too. But now that he's aware of everything that drove Elle to the edge and what's keeping her there, he comes to realize that the chance of her leaving with him is zero to none, and a sense of resignation creeps over him.

Elle will choose her only family over herself, and over him.

And what pains him is that he loves her so much that he understands why.

A/N:

This is inspired by real events that happened to one of my best friends. I was lucky during the peak, but it was devastating for some. I dedicate this chapter to her and everyone who lost someone important in 2020.