Tuesday

7:30pm

Maxie

Hello :)

He's always having a smiling face whenever he replies my text. I wonder if he does that to his other friends too.

R u gonna play?

I'm playing with my friends rn :(

Maybe later

He's been always busy around 7pm, when most of his friends are online. He likes to play with his group of friends, instead of duo-ing* with only me. I can only play with him after midnight. It screws up my sleep time a lot but I can't stop myself just waiting for him every night.

He's Diamond III, and I'm in the bottom of Gold division*. I don't mind being queued up with higher rank players and getting my ass kicked, because playing against those people will help me improve better. The most important thing is I can play with him.

I know Max through a classmate, Kelson. I've played with them a lot since then. It's funny that I only met Max once last week when I played in a local tournament for League at PCG*, but like to play with him so much. Maybe, it's because he's a serious player, doesn't want to make any mistake in the game.

R u going to PCG this week?

Probably not, I gotta catch the bus

Jake said he's coming tho

R u going?

Jake is one of my online friends. It should be so fun if all of us can play together this Thursday.

Really?

I'll go

Maxie, plz come with us ;-;

I try to persuade him to go. He rejects at first but later on, he says he'll go just for me. I plan that I will wait for him at the bus stop near my school after I finish my job, so that we can take the bus together and I don't have to walk in the dark alone, since the bus stops quite far from PCG. He says he's ok with that. I ask Kelson for a ride home since I know it will be so late when the tournament end. It's no problem for him as long as I give him the gas money.

I'm such a badass plan-maker.

Thursday

6:04

2 unread messages on skype from Max

Tiff, R u going to PCG today? - 5:30

R u gonna come? - 5:54

I already made the plan 2 days ago and now you ask me again?

Seriously?

I was at work man, how can I reply you

Sorry, I just wanna ensure

zzzz

The next bus is at 6:15

U won't be able to catch another until 6:55

Just go without me

I even bought you something to eat ;-;

Sorry :(

Fine

I'll eat them all -_-

Lol

Dw, I'll be there but I'll be late

7:30pm

Damn, I passed the bus stop

It's the first time I take this route to PCG. I've been there only once. I have to wait for another bus to go back. I wish I could've waited for Max, so even if I get lost, I have someone lost with me. It's such a bad day.

8:30pm

I finally arrive at PCG. The smoke from e-cig in here is dense. The room is so foggy and dark. The dim light and electronic music make it feels like a night club. I'm already tilted after my first step inside, just like my first time. It's funny that I imagine this as a club and I'm a used-to-be-good girl sneaking out of the house at midnight to come here.

The tournament will start at 9. They will separate us into groups of five. The one's in the highest rank will be the leader. We have to win straight to the end to get the first place, there's no mercy for losers.

Max comes around 8:45. He's big like a bear so I can't miss him when he enters the room. He shaved today, his friends tease him on the way he walks toward me. I wonder if there's a special reason that he wants to look neat today or he just simply wants to be clean.

I don't want to talk to him even when he sits down right next to me, I'm still mad at his wanting-to-ensure. However, I don't really know anyone in here except for Kelson and Max. Kelson's busy chilling with his girlfriend who's known as a super-easy-to-get-jealous-with-other-girls-around-Kelson person. I don't want to mess with her, so I'd better stay away from Kelson. Jake doesn't come. He says he thought I was joking and he wants to stay at home instead. Such a reasonable reason.

I end up talking with Max. For some reason, he eases me down right away and we had some insane 1v1s before the tournament starts.

Max insists we won't be at the same team because they mix up totally randomly. When the manager announces who's in what team, we happen to be in the same team.

"Who said we're not in the same team?" I tease.

"This' just an incident, gurl?" Max tries to look away.

It's raining outside. Things are blurry and dark. I'm glad I'm with Maxie.

10:25pm

"Man, I was so bad." I whine.

"Yea. You did horrible at the last fight."

"Can you at least say something to cheer me up?" His answer is too right for me to handle.

"Nah. You don't even get upset." Max laughs.

"Who says that? I'm so sad right freaking now!!" I raise my voice.

"Whoever is sad but talking that energetically?"

"Whatever." He's always good at trolling and teasing others.

"Are you going home now?" Max asks while he's collecting his mouse and headset.

"I'm waiting for Kelson. He'll take me home."

"Okay then. I'll head home now so that I won't miss the bus to Waipahu in the next 15 minutes."

I wave him goodbye. Seeing him disappearing behind the door makes me hope that he had a car and he could take me home instead of Kelson... and his girlfriend.

Kelson won his first game so he will have another match.

Imma wait for you dude. Tell me when you're done.

I text Kelson and decide to have a nap while I'm waiting for him.

"She was bad. Such a noob. I don't even know how she get to Gold." A voice from the corner of the room wakes me up.

There are only 2 girls play league at this tournament, so I'm very sensitive with every sentence mentioning "girl." I slightly look up and see the Platium guy from my team last game. He's talking with Kelson. They must be talking about ME!!!

"I know right. You don't know there's time her character just running across the map like a chicken with no head when I play with her." What the fuck?! He really thinks that?!

"Everyone says she's suck, man." Everyone?!

"Yea. You shoulda won if it wasn't her..."

I try to stop overhearing them but some of their shit talking still reach my ear. I thought Kelson liked to be my teammate. I thought we were friends. I can't care any more, I want to go home and have a sleep, even if their words might haunt me in my dream. I feel like whatever people are talking about in this room is about me and my lost game, they're laughing at me as I'm such a loser. I don't want to be here any longer. But I still need Kelson to take me home. Fuck my life...

10:55pm

1 new message from Kelson.

No don't

"What the hell. He said he could tho." I secretly blame at him in my head. I look up and see Kelson sitting in a corner with his girlfriend clenching his arm as if she wants to confirm the world that they're together, no one nor supernatural power can separate them.

So you can't take me home? ._.

I know it's hopeless but I still text him.

No I can't

Very short and specific.

K gluck have fun.

I mean the opposite way when I text him. He and his girl cuddling in that corner would be the image that hurts my eyes the most when I walk out of the room and enter the darkness of a black-sky night. I have to find a way to get home somehow.

11:05pm

I finally get to the bus stop. The street is deadly quiet. There's a homeless guy with his bicycle on the other side of the stress. I hope he's waiting for the bus just like me, not staring at me and willing to jump off from the other side to this side and attack me. The street light is never be enough to light up the whole long road, only the spot at its foot. I sit on a stone bench near the bus stop trying to get as much as light surrounding me, that way I can at least feel safer.

The next bus will come in 55 minutes. I check the app on my phone again, despondently accept the fact that there will be no bus going to my area at this time. It already passes 10, which means I can't ask my auntie to pick me up since she probably get home from work. Even if I could, I would have no reason to explain why I'm stuck outside at this late. I can't tell her I wanted to join that tournament for the game and the-one-I-thought-he-was-my-friend couldn't take me home just because some dumbass reasons I don't even know. She would be like "if you like to stay outside that much why don't just move out of my house and stay outside forever?" Today is too much for me to get home and be blamed again. Even if I walk, it will take me 2 hours to get home. It's not worth it anyway.

I try to call my friend and ask whether I can sleep over but the answer is no since her house is crowded. She is the ONLY friend I know that live in Waipahu.

Wait, Max said he lived there...

Maxie - 11:30

Message sent

He doesn't reply. He's probably not home yet.

There's nothing I can do right now but waiting for the bus going to the transit center. It must be brighter there and there will be people, I won't be alone and end up get kidnapped or killed by someone or any supernatural power.

It's hard for me to keep my eyes open since I'm tired of everything that just happened. I almost fall asleep once and it's as scary as the fear of sleep when someone get stuck under snow and will die if he sleep. I need to be awake!!

Friday

12:00am

The bus comes. I get on without any idea where I will go to. I just sent another text to Max. If he doesn't reply or won't allow me to sleep over I definitely will have to stay outside under the shower and suffer the cold of Winter. My phone's almost dead, so even if I try to walk home I would get lost.

Hi - 12:05

Max just text me. I try to keep my body still to text him back since the bus's moving. The bus is surprisingly crowded at this hour and there's no seat left for me. People try to get home from work, I guess. I wish I can get home, too.

It's emergency

There's no bus to my house at this time

Ye same

The bus stop half way from and I had to walk

Kelson can't take me home

Can I sleep over?

My heart drops a beat when I send the messages. It's embarrassing to ask a guy about this. I haven't even used the word "sleep over" ever before.

Wut?

My phone's dying

I have no way to get home

Seriously

I try to explain as short as possible.

So u wanna sleep over at mai house?

Ya

I can't be more specific.

Where r u at rn?

Wait... Just that? I expect him to be a bit harder on me before letting me sleep over though. I try to push all my questions out of my head. The important thing is I have a shelter tonight.

I tell Max my location and he says I have to walk a bit farther to get to his house.

Can you pick me up on the way tho

I'm pretty sure I will pass his place and get lost again just like I pass the right stop to get to PCG earlier. I'm such a direction-blind.

I don't have a car

Zzz

I know you don't have a car! Is "pick up" have only one meaning that involved cars? I shout from the inside.

Just walk

I'll meet you in the middle of the way

I don't know how long I've been walking. There's no one on the street but sometimes there's car pass by me. The lights are awfully dim. I hate walking in the dark. I'm always scared of supernatural things like spirits or ghosts, but today is an exception since I'm only afraid of human. There are a lot of videos online showing when a girl walks alone on the streets and there's a black car stops right beside her and she ends up getting pulled into the car. No one knows what would happen to her. There' also rapists could just jump out from the dark of the sidewalk and freak people out. Rape and kill, hide the body...

I hold my folded umbrella so tight as it's my only "weapon" right now. I hope I can get to Max's street safely and he can take me to his house from there.

12:53pm

Max told me to stop till I see a yellow gas station and there's one in front of me right now.

A rustle sounds from a bush in front of me. It's too dark to see the thing that's moving.

A big figure slowly stands up.

It's Maxie.

He looks so huggable, strong and safe like a big teddy. His clear black eyes bright under the bloomy street light.

"You're here." He smiles.

"Maxie." My voice trembles for no reason.

"It's okay now, gurl. Let's go." He taps my head. I wonder where he learned that from since it's comforting.

We have to pass a dark alley before getting to his house. He says his father is on a vacation so I can sleep at his place. He also has a deaf brother that has to work early in the morning, so he has to stay up till 3am to wake him up. His parents divorced. He keeps talking until we get to a substandard building. We go down... not up, to a place which supposes to be a cellar. I've never had this much adventure-feeling before, as if I was going to a different world under the ground.

There are only 2 floors that we go down but it feels forever.

"Watch your step, Tiff." Max stops at the final stair.

"We're here?" There are three doors. One's in front, one's in the right and one behind me.

"Yeah." He replies.

I look at his back trying to figure out what I'm feeling right now while he's unlocking one of the doors. Half of me screams that I have to get out of here since I only met him once and he's basically a stranger, but the other half tells me to stay as I believe he's a good guy.

1:15am

The apartment is as small as my living room. I see socks and clothes here and there on the floor. There're dirty dishes on the sink. There's no air-conditioner, but one big and one small fan instead. I'm surprised that from the jalousies-wall having two big awnings merely covering as its curtains. I can see the view outside as if the apartment were above the ground, not under. There's a light mattress put against the wall near the door and a laptop, an Asus, same as mine, right next to it. I guess it's his "bed." How it will be like when he has to grow up without his mom? I really feel sorry for Max.

"You can put your stuff there." He points at another mattress against the opposite wall while taking off his shoes. "It's my dad's. You can sleep there tonight."

How ridiculous. It's already another day, "today" must be more accurate. I smirk at myself. I freaking sleep outside today, first time in my life and at a guy's place.

I ask Max to charge my phone, so I can call my aunt and make an excuse for not going home today. She doesn't pick up the phone so I just leave a voicemail. It's lucky that I don't have to talk to her. I know it would be blaming and I have way enough shit happened today already.

Max turns of the light as he says we should save energy to save the warming-up globe. He starts playing games on his laptop. For some reason, I follow and sit next to him.

"Don't you need to sleep? It's late." Asks Max.

"I don't think I want to sleep." I don't know why I'm afraid of sleeping. "I want to watch you play, just play man." I soon find an excuse.

"Alright." He gives me a quick look. "Tell me if you need anything." I wonder whether my face look so hopeless that he says something as if I really needed help or it's just because he's being polite.

After a long silence, I couldn't help myself telling him about what happened today and how I'm scared when I was outside. There's something about him that make me feel safe. He's as calm as the ocean wave in a beautiful day, I guess he has to suffer a lot to be this mature.

"So you think there might be some one want to rape you?" He chuckles.

"No, I'm just saying. But you know, a girl being alone outside..." He's triggering me by his laugh.

"You look like a kid, girl. Whoever wanna rape a kid?" A harder laugh.

"Excuse me. I just turn 21 a week ago!!"

"Kay kay, I'm sorry." He taps my head again.

"Man, you're freaking younger than meh. Stop doing that. I'm not a kid." I shout.

"Thought you like it."

"No~"

"You know how your face looks like when I tap your head? Same like when you cuddle a cat." He laughs.

Okay. He's such a troll. I can never win him.

"And can you believe Kelson said such a thing?!" I change the topic. "I thought we were friends."

"Sometimes, you gotta know who is friend and who's close friend. Don't expect too much from people who're just your friends." He talks as if it was a normal thing in a normal life and I shouldn't get hurt because of it.

"Yeah..." He's right. I shouldn't be upset about Kelson. He's just not a good friend. But...

"And you know Kelson's rank?" He asks.

"Silver?"

"You play with him right? You know he always have Platinum friends using their smurf in his rank team right? He needs them to carry him to Silver, and he could never get to Gold. And you're freaking Gold."

"Right. Although it's the lowest Gold, I get it by myself."

"See? Why you have to feel bad when he said you played bad."

"But the other guy... he's Platinum..." I don't know why I try to find a reason to against him.

"Kay. My rank game is loading..."

"What's about it?" I look at his screen and see he's playing mid lane as Ahri, she's one of my main champions in League.

"Play."

"What?! You're Diamond. You ask me to freaking against Diamonds?!" I'm panic. My ass won't be just kicked, it'll be smashed hard.

"Yea. I won't touch the laptop. If you don't play, I'll fail my promotion." He's crazy!!

This is an important match. He shouldn't afk*. I know how hard it is to get to this high rank and he might be banned* if he's afk in a rank game. But I can't do that. It's the whole lot different between Gold V and Diamond III, like a tiny enter the giant world.

"Don't worry. I'll coach you." He says and moves away from his seat. "C'mon. Sit here." His eyes are bright as if he's the most trustable guy in this world.

I'm hesitate, but I don't want him to get ban. I end up playing his game. I hope I won't feed too bad.

I'm a bit tilted early game, but as the game's going and I have Maxie guiding me in laning phase*, everything turns out alright. I play surprisingly well. We win the game.

"So you still feel bad about that Plat guy?" Max asks.

I don't even remember that. I'm too concentrate for last game. I shake my head as a "no."

"See. You're not bad. Maybe you were a bit triggered at PCG, you just didn't perform well. You're one of the best gril* I've known, to be honest."

"Really?" I look at his face merely lighted up by the soft brightness from the laptop. The room is dark, I find it not that hateful.

"Really as you're sleeping over at a guy's place right now." He chuckles. It's really not a good comparison.

"Stop trolling me, please." I chide.

"Alright. You shouldn't take people's word too seriously, though. They don't know you as well as you know yourself." He keeps talking and starts a new match. "And if you want to sleep, go over there, this is my place." He looks at the other mattress as if he wanted me to move away from his mattress as soon as possible.

"Mehhh. Imma stay here. I wanna watch you play. I shouldn't take your word seriously you said." I troll.

"C'mon... I don't know I would trigger my own self by telling you that, man. I shoulda..." He stops talking as the game starts.

He's right. I'm too serious at everything. People say what people want and I shouldn't care about it. The only thing I should worry is how to talk to aunty when I'm back home. Everything should be alright. I got this. I appease myself. I have to take the responsibility for my own self any way.

I fall asleep in the middle of his game. It's a nighty night.

== The end ==