✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 『 I n f o 』 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Book: The Dark Covenant

Author: teejay254

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 『 R e v i e w 』 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Title (1/5): Compelling, but I'm still not sure how it fits into the story. Maybe it's addressed later on? If so, I think it'd be more beneficial if you alluded to it within the first few chapters.

Cover (3/5): The picture is really cool and made me interested in learning more. However, it's a little difficult to discern the whole title since the beginning and ending of the words are too light.

Summary (7/10): Does a good job of setting up an interesting adventure, however I think it could use a little more detail. You start to establish who Alicia and Drom are but I think the importance of the Vurhanil War will be lost on the readers unless you give it a little more backstory. I also noticed a grammatical error that you may want to change. Instead of "a" in "But things turn out to be a complete opposite..." it should be "the".

Plot (10/15): Your book begins with a solid start and does a great job of hooking readers in with the backstory of Drom and Dai. I think your story could benefit from explaining more about the importance of Slejj and the Vurhanil War earlier. They both play important roles but they were only casually mentioned in the first chapter and aren't really addressed again until several chapters later. I was also a little confused about how Alicia was able to recognize Dai based off of Drom's description but couldn't recognize him in real life, especially after Drom shared his theory that Slejj had taken him. Otherwise you hooked me back in again with the revelation that Slejj may actually be a good guy after all and that there's clearly more to the story than we knew previously. You also definitely intrigued me with your descriptions for the Vurhan.

Characters (8/10): You've got a pretty good balance of female and male characters and you do a good job of making their personalities diverse. Lisa made a quick impression on me and I'm liking where the character relationships are heading. I'm intrigued by the little multi-generational band of misfits that is Slejj, Dai, Lisa, and Alicia. They seem like they could be an entertaining, kick-ass group. The dialogue is a little awkward and seems too casual for the time period but I did see that you mentioned in the author's note how you originally wanted to make this a manga. From my limited experience with anime, the type of dialogue seems accurate, but it's not personally my cup of tea. If you want to paint the story as more realistic and serious I would recommend making some changes but ultimately it's up to you and what your vision is.

Organization (1/5): Your table of contents is confusing since you have several repeats of the same chapter numbers. I also noticed that one of your "Chapter 3"s has "Part II" in the title even though it's the fourth "Chapter 3", and "Chapter 4" and one of the "Chapter 5"s have the same title while the other "Chapter 5" does not. I would recommend re-titling them in numerical order without any repeats so that readers don't get confused on where they're at in the story. I also noticed some grammatical and spelling errors throughout the story; mostly missing capitalization and punctuation that you may want to go back and check for.

Overall (30/50): You've got great world-building skills and I can tell that you put a lot of thought into this story. It would be really cool to see a map of this world! You also have a nice balance of description to dialogue and the last lines of your chapters do a great job of keeping readers captivated. My biggest recommendations would be to re-organize your chapters and to add more detail about Slejj and the Vurhanil War in the first few chapters. Otherwise great job!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧