✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 『 I n f o 』 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Book: The Lady in the Weeping Mansion

Author: BrutalRice

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 『 R e v i e w 』 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Title (3/5): Elicits my interest but other than the first chapter, I'm not quite sure how it applies. I'm assuming that it plays a larger part in the story in later chapters, presumably after they go to Batilda.

Cover (3/5): Goes well with the title and catches readers' attentions, although like with the title, within the chapters I've read I'm not quite sure how it applies. Again, I'll continue to assume that it becomes clearer in later chapters.

Summary (8/10): Does a good job of hooking readers in without giving too much away. I especially like the line: "Rather than 'Will our MCs beat the bad guys?', it's better to ask, 'Will our MCs become the bad guys?" (nit-picky note: I'd suggest changing "MCs" to "main characters" because some readers may not understand the abbreviation). My recommendation would be to omit the last line because it references characters you haven't named in the summary which leads one to believe that you may be referencing Saito and Kaizen when I don't believe you are, and because the line I mentioned above already makes for a really impactful last line. I'd also maybe recommend omitting the very first line because that information seems to be mostly covered in the second line.

Plot (13/15): The beginning hooked me in immediately! I like you how you split the chapter into three parts to help introduce us to the main characters. Your pacing seems great throughout the story and you do a good job of switching between perspectives. There's a lot going on, which I struggled with a bit at first (mostly because I've got a terrible attention span and an even worse memory), but you do a good job of explaining everything over time. It helps that you continue to expand on the Lords, Mafia, Drills, and spirit-users throughout the chapters. I think the only thing you could expand on a little more is the nature of your world. To start with, it seems like it takes place in a fantastical middle-ages type setting, but then by chapter ten there's technology. I think I saw you respond to a comment that the story takes place in the modern era, and if that's the case, it may be beneficial to make that clearer earlier on so it's not quite so jarring for readers when they reach the tenth chapter and read about video games after reading about elemental magic and castles for the past nine chapters. Generally, I think most stories should at least broach the start of their main plot by chapter ten (in your case, your main plot as described in your summary would be Saito and Kaizen going to Batilda), but you have a lot of ground to cover in regards to describing the world within which your story takes place so I think it's understandable that you don't quite get there yet. The only other parts I had questions about are the princess from the first chapter and Lucas, but again, I assume that they're explained more in later chapters.

Characters (10/10): You've got a lot of characters but I think you do a good job of introducing them and establishing their personalities right away. Even though Saito, Kaizen, and Camellia have only had a couple chapters in the spotlight from what I've read, I feel like I generally understand how each one would act in a given situation. Their personalities are distinct but they don't feel like tropes or cliches. Your side characters are also easy to understand and seem to fit in well with the story. Sometimes the dialogue seems to vary in relation to the setting, but as mentioned above, I think clarifying that the story takes place within the modern era would help with this.

Organization (4/5): The table of contents is clean and easy to follow and the chapters seem to be a good length. I noticed a few spelling/grammar errors throughout the chapters but nothing too bad. This is being more nit-picky, but the one recommendation I'd make is to add dividers before and after your author's notes at the start and end of chapters. I noticed that you did so a few times, but not every time. I think it just makes the chapters look a bit more organized and easier to read.

Overall (41/50): You've got great descriptive skills and I think you do a good job of building your own world within the story! It was definitely an easy read because you kept me very interested throughout all ten chapters! My biggest recommendations would be to clarify that your story takes place in the modern era and to expand more upon how elemental magic and technology co-exist in your world, as well as to fix spelling/grammar errors and chop down your summary a bit. Otherwise, great job and I'm excited to see where the story goes from here!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Thank you for your patience! ☺