Save A Prayer // Duran Duran

First period on Monday morning is worse than it was on day one. On the first day at this hell hole, I knew the eyes and secrets would find me no matter how hard I tried to blend into the crowd. It only took minutes before that prediction became reality. But today I am faced with more than rumors and inuendo. Thanks to Friday night's display at the Lot with Nico, everyone had a front row seat to April Reed in all her glory.

Ko could not stop talking about that "hot kiss with the bad boy" all weekend long. I really didn't need the reminder. At all. I'm currently using all of my energy to forget it happened and how it made me feel. Nico didn't make it any easier when he showed up at my door for my ride to school...in his truck. I didn't ask about the Challenger and he didn't offer any explanation. But something told me it had everything to do with what happened at the diner afterwards.

I am also trying to forget about that incident, when I flipped out on him and told him things were too intense, but the little devil on my shoulder won't allow it. Haven't I said 'not today, Satan' enough?

I slink into my preferred seat at the back of class. Ko is next to me, camera still around her neck and sleek notebook opened on the desk. She's been writing down all of the unique English phrases she wasn't taught from the textbook.

After I took over their corner day one, the glitter girls have made the few seats in my vicinity their new stage, and I'm the entertainment. Sure enough, the show for the morning has started. I would give them credit for the veiled insults, but their insults suck and aren't veiled at all. I'm sure the IQ total of the three of them is less than my cell phone bill. Pink Barbie number one, the self-appointed glitter queen, fires off first.

"Someone clearly got bank rolled this weekend, and I'm not naming names, but she was a first timer on Friday so..." She tosses her hair and laughs. Ko's pen flies across the page, taking dictation in her perfect microscopic script.

Number two spouts off next, as is glitter law that second in command speaks second. "I hope Matt knows what he's buying because I don't think she'll live up to the hype."

My stomach flips. I swallow the bile as I watch Ko continue to write down almost every word. I expected chatter about Nico, not Matt. His role was a fizzled comment followed by a grab. Nico had himself wrapped around me for five minutes with all eyes on us. Matt even dropped one of his burns right after Nico peeled himself away. I don't want to be attached to Nico any more than I want people talking about me with Matt. But at least with Nico people had gone silent in fear of his wrath.

As I'm working on regulating my breathing and thinking of a quick retaliation, Barbie number three glares at me. She must be up to the mic because that's her go-to opener.

"An absolute disappointment. He should demand a refund." Smirk. Turn. Giggle.

Ko doesn't bother to write that one down.

I lean forward, no longer willing to let them think they own me and my corner. "Don't be so hard on yourself, sweetie. I'm sure with a little practice you'll improve." Glare. Retreat. Silence.

The three girls looked disgusted, but not insulted. That wasn't the point anyway. My comment is to make the sure they know their stupidity isn't getting to me. And I know it does the job when the queen responds with a quiet, "As if." Ko finishes writing before queenie finishes speaking.

When the come-back is only four letters long, I win.

The rest of the day is lather, rinse, repeat minus the veiled insults. I do get a lot of side eyes and glares, but Ko no longer writes down any dialogue. It really is day one all over again. The whole scene makes me even more angry with Nico for his lack of foresight. How could he not know this would happen?

By the time lunch rolls around, I'm fuming. And I'm about to blow over on the first person I see. I really hope it isn't Nico, because although I'm frustrated about the scene he made, I don't want to yell at him about it again. He already knows what I think.

Thankfully, Emily is the one who gets in my path just as Ko and I step foot in the back lot.

"April! I am hearing good things about you, today! Dang the tongue on you, in more ways than one am I right?" Emily laughs and her arm swings out to smack me on the back. I'm ready for her this time and catch her before she can connect.

"Not funny, Em. You ditched us. Strike one in my book. You don't want to know what happens after strike two." I glare. I huff. Ko scribbles. I want to blame her because if Emily had been at the Lot, I would have had a bigger Nico buffer and I wouldn't have wandered away from him right into Matt's sweaty paws.

"Whoa, didn't know my presence was such a pleasure for you." Emily crosses her arms. "I had stuff come up. Besides, Nico took over the chaperone duties, at his insistence I might add." She pauses, smirking. "I knew you'd messed him up good the day you showed up, but when he cornered me on Thursday and told me not to go near your house with my motorcycle...yeah shit got really real."

My mouth drops at the picture she painted of Nico. "That's not how he put things." My voice is mousey, and I know it. All of the fuel to my anger goes up in smoke. Now I'm just confused.

"Your bike doesn't fit three people," I say weakly, glancing at Ko who's now scrolling through pictures on her camera.

"I do have access to a car." Emily glances around the lot, for what I have no clue. "But I figured I would be in the way on Friday. I made other plans."

Now I'm mad again. "Thanks for the heads up, Em. Really, you're a fab friend. Except if you had shown up, as you had demanded I do, things wouldn't have gotten so messed up."

"But it was so beautiful," Ko says, holding up the digital screen on her camera where Nico and I are on full display.

My pulse starts racing and I swear my temperature spikes.

"Damn, Nico has moves," Emily says as she snatches the camera from Ko for a closer look. "He's even got one hand on the side of your face, like a boss."

What? I don't remember that. I step forward and grab the camera, suddenly needing to see the evidence for myself. I worked so hard all weekend to block that kiss out that I can't even remember who started it.

The camera in my hands, I scroll back to the moment I put my hands on Nico's chest to stop him from beating Matt to a pulp in front of the entire Lot. I gasp out loud when I see the look in Nico's eyes. It's not lust or hunger, but a look that says he can't hold back anymore. Ko must have had the camera on burst mode because she caught every inch it took Nico to lean into me. She captured the millisecond before our lips touched and she's right. It is beautiful.

I torture myself by taking in each picture, each shot on her camera of what I now remember as the hottest moment of my life, and I practically burst into flame. I know my face must be red. I know Emily and Ko are watching me combust right before their eyes.

I shouldn't be looking at these. I should have stayed away and continued to ignore that moment, erase it from memory and move forward with my life and my plan. But I don't. I scroll, I pause and I gasp. I heat and I regret walking away from him. But then I get to the last shot, the one where I pull away and remember where we are. I see the fear on my face, in my eyes. I see the impending road ahead of that moment. The one where Matt is standing in the background, smirking, thinking I'd just proven all of the rumors true.

Wordlessly, I hand the camera back to Ko. I inhale and exhale to relax my blood pressure. I feel the heat retreat back to its hiding place. Then I glare at both of them.

"What happened at the Lot means nothing. It was a momentary lapse of judgement on my part. Won't happen again. But what will happen is that you two will now drop it." I look pointedly at Emily. "From now on, I go where I want, when I want. I do not take suggestions or instructions from you, got it?"

Emily salutes me with a look of understanding. "Sure thing, boss. Glad to see the backbone stiffen up."

I look over at Ko. "And you, delete those pictures. I don't want them to get around."

Ko pouts. "A shame to destroy something so precious."

The devil on my shoulder perks up. I shouldn't let those photos exist. I know in my bones they will come back to haunt me. But the little devil inside wants to keep them around because of how looking at them made me feel. The temptation is real.

"Fine. Load them on a card, but don't walk around with them on that camera and do not put them in the cloud. I don't want anyone hacking you and finding them." Emily is wrong. My backbone is made of jello.

Ko claps her hands and literally says, yay. "I will do this now. I have a memory card in my bag." She riffles around in her bag and produces a card then sets to work loading them.

"I'm hungry." I'm not, not at all. But I need us to get off of this topic, so food is my bright shiny toy. "Let's sit down and eat before the bell rings."

That's what we do. And conversation moves to other topics, namely Ko's life back in Japan. While she keeps everyone's focus telling them of nightlife in big cities, I scan the lot. I tell myself I am not looking for Nico, but I know I'm lying. He's nowhere to be seen. I should be glad of that. I should be relieved that he's keeping his distance. But I'm disappointed and I know it.

Nico is not going to chase me. That's not who he is. Sure, he kept coming around and dropping the terrible lines on me. He's giving more of himself to me than anyone else in my life. But he's not going to come running after me when I've told him point blank that it can't happen. That it's too intense. The fact that he didn't even put up a fight tells me all that I need to know. He agrees with me. It is too intense. Even for him.

I crawl through the rest of the day, no energy left to worry about glances or whispers of my escapades at the Lot. Nico must have spoken to Mr. DeWitt before class because I'm relegated back to my original team working on basic maintenance.

This is when I realize that Nico actually taught me something. I'm grabbing tools and moving parts without asking what goes where. I'm still me. I avoid the grease and keep things clean, because black grit under my nails is not something I will ever allow.

I don't have that feeling of eyes on me, that zing of sensation that someone is watching. The sensation that has become common for me during shop. And when I glance over to Nico, he's focused on his task. Problem solved, right?

Yeah, tell that to the pit in my stomach.

She's getting the cold shoulder, but is that really what April wants? Of course not!! I'm on a plotting roll with this right now so good things are on the way! It's such an amazing feeling when the story just starts to flow ❤️

And to rope everything off, my contemporary romance, inevitable, is tearing things up right now!! Currently ranked #19 in Romance, the reads are starting to snowball and it's the best way to jump in to 2021!!

I think this song is about hooking up, but whatever, it sounds somber enough with just a hint of hope that I felt it fit for this chapter.

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]