If You Leave // Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark

"Thanks for the last minute change up." I nod to Brax as I enter the back door of the work bay. It's early. My mind is drifting to April and wondering if Danny delivered the keys like I asked.

"No problem. It worked out for me today. But I'm curious about the rush job. Thought we had the week to get it done." Brax pulls the materials we'll be using out of storage while he talks. He's casual, not concerned at all about the frantic call I made last night asking if he'd move the job up and finish it ASAP.

My stomach wishes it was a casual situation, but it's not. Not even close.

"Shit went down and I feel the need to return the car as soon as I can. April needs the wheels." Just saying her name takes effort.

I feel like shit and have since yesterday at lunch. The emotional ride I've been on sucks. I just want it to end, but I have a rock in my gut that says it won't be over any time soon.

"Sounds dire so let's get on it. I called Edgar. He'll stop by any minute to lend a hand. Work will go faster that way."

"What does Edgar know about interiors?" I'm standing next to April's car. The carpet has been installed. The paint and chrome are shining, and the dash is sporting some restored pieces. The last touch is the new leather on the seats, with Garret's hot pink piping design. This car is going to shine. I'm anxious to finish it and give the keys to April. Hoping that the gesture will heal some of her anger. But I'm not expecting her to cool her fire. I'm sure she'll be just as pissed at me as she was last night.

She was beyond angry. If she'd only screamed at me longer, fought for us. But it's like she gave up. I felt it. And fuck if it didn't kick me in the balls. What I've been guarding against since I met her, but I thought she'd kick my actual balls. Not the metaphorical ones.

I guess she still could.

"Edgar will surprise you. He's kind of a jack of all trades. Kindred spirit in some ways. I've done all kinds of things over the years but once I got into restoration, I wanted to learn the entire craft."

Brax lifts his eyes to me, giving me the once over. "You've got the engines down. Your boy has the design. It doesn't hurt to get a handle on some of the other big jobs."

I shrug. "Eventually. This is a start I guess."

The backdoor swings open punctuating my words. Edgar steps in wearing his painting coveralls but missing his trademark goggles.

"Where's the music, Brax? How can you get any work done with all of this quiet?" Edgar walks into the bay with his goofy stride, hitched to one side, lifting up his old school boom box. "Lucky you I came prepared."

"Listen old man, keep your sappy music at your shop. This is a classy operation." Brax laughs, shaking his head. I remember laughing. I used to like it. But I just don't even know how to right now. And I really don't know how I will react to one of Edgar's mixed tapes.

I pull my phone out of my back pocket when I feel it vibrate. A message from Danny shows up on my lock screen.

Delivered

Awesome. I want to ask how it went, but I don't have the guts. I spent most of last night and early this morning working to fix the mess April found herself in yesterday. Those bastards posting shit about her. Matt looking at me like he had the upper hand. Me not being able to face her until it was way too freaking late.

Did my temper really end us? I mean, I used all of the strategies I've been taught. I didn't take it out on her or on the guy who really deserved it. I went to the dojo. I worked out as hard as I ever have. Then I followed through on my commitment to Brax to assist with the interior job.

I'm just glad he agreed to work on this today and finish it up three days early. I'm sure April wants nothing to do with me, let alone get rides to school. And as much as I'm willing to let her drive the Challenger for as long as she needs it, I'm willing to bet she'd rather have her own ride instead of borrowing mine.

I just pictured this whole thing differently. I was going to pick her up on Friday night, bring her back to my house to find the garage door closed. Then I was going to stand her in front of the door while I opened it, revealing her baby in all its restored glory. She'd smile, her full wattage smile that she only gives to me. Then she'd cry. She'd throw her arms around me. I'd pull her to the car, open the door, and set her in the driver's seat. I'd give her the keys when I slid into the passenger seat. She'd start it up and take us on a ride. Somewhere along the way I'd have her pull over and I'd kiss the hell out of her.

Now, I'll be lucky to give her the keys personally, rather than just leaving them on her doorstep.

"Mood got dark in here. You okay, man?" Brax claps me on the shoulder with his hand.

"This is why we need the tunes, Brax. Silence creates brooding." Edger gets to work on his boom box, slipping a tape into the slot and pushing play. Brax waves at him to shut it off.

"Hang on, man. Give the guy a second to speak before you blast that shit." Brax turns back with knowing eyes to look at me. "What shit went down to get you like this."

I nod to the car. "Just not turning out the way I hoped. The car is perfect. But the girl is pissed. I don't know if she'll get over it anytime soon. I think maybe it's over."

The sick pit in my stomach is back. I swallow thickly and try to steady myself. I've sparred with physical injuries before, once competed with a broken finger and still pulled out a win. But this shit is nothing compared to that. I can't just shake this off.

Edgar crosses his arms and observes from his spot across the bay. Brax nods.

"There's one thing I've learned about love, my friend." Brax pauses until I look up and eye him. "It's never too late." He let the words sink in for a few more silent seconds. "Make a decision and follow through. Whatever it takes. That's all you can do, but it makes a difference. Trust me."

I roll my shoulders to ease the tension. He's right, all I can do is follow through with my actions. It doesn't matter what I've said to April, the promises I made. All that really matters is who I show her I am. I take a deep breath and release it. I've been on a mission all night to show her exactly that. But I've got to push off this darkness and worry if I'm going to get this car done today. The three of us can make it happen.

"Yeah, ok let's do this."

Brax smiles. So does Edgar.

Then he pushes play on the boom box and the space is filled with his sappy love songs.

Great.

***

The car is coming along. We stopped for fifteen minutes for a quick lunch because we didn't want to lose momentum, but we might actually finish this thing before midnight. Honestly when we got started the job felt so massive that I was worried it would take more than just today. Brax is a master of efficiency, however, so things got moving pretty fast right away.

Now I'm buzzing with energy because I just want to see April's face, pissed or not, when she sees this thing of beauty.

Throughout the morning, Edgar has been making little comments about how my woman will forget all of her vinegar when she sees this car. I say nothing each time but secretly disagree. He's never met her. I know all too well how big her personality is. She isn't going to just lay down and forget her 'vinegar.' If anything, she'll give me another taste or two before all is said and done. After all, I walked away from her. That's all she sees, not the reason behind it. April spent too many hours feeling abandoned, and I know enough about her past to realize that's what everyone else has done. I just jumped into that pool along with them and I didn't even realize what I was doing.

That's why I went to my dad's old partner to file a report. That's why I used the few connections I have to get the principal's number, the number of three board members and the Superintendent. That's why I rallied everyone I could to spread the word about those social media accounts.

I wanted action behind my words. I wanted to offer her more than just an apology. Even if she throws it back at me. At least I can say I did everything I could do.

I'm prepping the next set of pieces for Brax and Edgar to fit to the back bench seat when my phone vibrates. It's been radio silence for most of the morning, other than a few status checks with Danny. He messaged when April got the keys, when she made it to school and again when she showed up for lunch. I knew she was being left alone by the a-holes of Jefferson high, and that a few of them had actually been suspended.

My efforts were bearing fruit. That's as much as I could ask for at this point.

I pull out my phone to check the latest message to see yet another one from Danny.

Dude, ur woman is losing her mind.

Not exactly what I want to hear, but I shouldn't be surprised that April is still holding on to her 'vinegar.' I message him back that exact sentiment.

Yeah, figures.

The little dots start scrolling as he types. It's only a few seconds before his reply comes in.

Nah, I mean she wants me to tell her where you are right now. I made some shit up and said I'd let her know when you were ready for her.

April wants to see me? Right now? That has to be good, right? I run my fingers through my hair, thinking about this possibility. Maybe she's cooled down. Maybe she's ready to talk. I look up to Brax and Edgar, making incredible progress on the car.

"Hey, do you think we might finish her up by dusk?" I scan the room as I ask. I don't think that's a stretch for us.

"Maybe before." Brax says, scanning the room as well. "I would guess we have about four hours of work."

Perfect. My wheels are spinning now, rolling with ideas for how this can go down. I return my focus to the message thread with Danny.

That will actually work. Find April at the bell and tell her to meet me at my place at six.

The next few hours are the complete opposite of the first few. My anxiety is no longer a pit, but now a nervous excitement to follow through with my original plan to give April her Mustang. The garage. The smile. The tears. And maybe even the kiss.

I tell myself to slow down, don't get too excited. She could still kick me in the balls. I could still end up without her. The hope that Danny just gave me shuts those worries up. I'm not going to worry about disappointment.

The goal has been to give April the classic beauty that she deserves and that's what I'm doing. The rest, if there is anything else, will be the icing. The rest will be the dream.

I'm just hoping the dream becomes reality.

Ah my baby. Poor Nico! I have to say that when writing April's last chapter, I pictured Nico a pillar of strength just jumping in there to make things right, confident that he'd win her back. LOL, because as soon as I started writing this one I realized that he'd still be a mess from when she slammed the door in his face. It MAY have had something to do with the fact that we are dealing with teenage heartache in my home this week (so many tears hurt this mama's soul). I still think it works.

NEXT WEEK, MY PEEPS! It is on! I'm still not positive which POV it will be in but I freaking know what's gonna happen. I love you guys! I can't wait for you to have all the feels and every single look. Even the song for next week has me all melty ❤️❤️❤️

This week's song is a nod to More Than This. If you've read it, you know that I was so inspired by my love of John Hughes movies and used several of his soundtrack hits on the playlist. This song was featured in Pretty In Pink, and ain't that April?

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