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Review 53 // Korah

Here we have another creepypasta character by Foxshade05

My comments will be in bold

Basics and grounding

Some interesting inspirations, though I don't really recommend using existing creepypastas as inspiration because that could cause it to just blend in with the rest of them.

Character information


Good job on trying to research a mental illness and making her ace. I'm not a fan of Neko ocs because they're meant to be cute, but since the point of this is to try and make one scary, I'll let it slide without bias. I do approve of the fact you're actively trying to make her scary though.

Relationships

Interesting pieces of information and make sure these relationships are well portrayed in any piece of media you write about her in.

Backstory


I'll say it again, having your cp oc interact with other cp characters isn't the best idea because the universe is complicated. Each character is meant to be separate and in their own universe but due to the fanbase, they're all put in the same bubble. I don't recommend referencing another cp in your story because it makes them feel less unique.

I like that you've come up with an explanation for the Neko thing and that it's not used to make your character more attractive. I do suggest being careful with having a mental disorder portrayed like this and having her be a Neko, because you could do a similar plot without schizophrenia, but if you think you can make it work then go ahead. The reason why is that both of these things are pretty common.

Other

The paranoia thing is common and only really works best with characters that are used for pure psychological horror because they're the type of characters that aren't physical and get in people's heads, but apart from that, this is fine.

Stats

These stats are fine.

Final thoughts
There is clearly improvement from your previous character as they get more detailed and developed each time, however, there are still points regarding the content of your character that can be improved. That aside, it's good to see your improvement and good job!

*My critiques are simply at your request and to help improve your character. It is not my intention to cause any offence and you, of course, do not have to listen to what I've said. This is all just a bit of fun and I apologise if I have done any kind of damage*

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