Ok ! I came back as promised with an update. I suggest you have a refresh through earlier parts as it had been a while. Before we move on to light hearted stuff, we have few serious issues to deal with in one or two chapters. Please ignore any typos ,errors and glitches.

Happy reading

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'Hope' is a strange thing, he thought

At times you go looking for it .. a little hope, just little enough to give you a much-needed pat or push, a simply assurance things would be fine, or simply just to make you feel better ..but it has a downside too, Sanskaar realized

Hope in other eyes can be tiring, the look that weighs you down as an expectation, and what makes it worse- You know you couldn't meet them. It weighed harder.

He simply ran a hand over his tousled hair, wondering how long he would go on like this.

And he had no clue.

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After that night, it's almost like they have fallen into an easy rhythm, an unspoken agreement. The morning breakfast, the night lullaby ...she seemed to understand and he was glad she didn't question how he ended up on the couch, near their room every night, waiting for that notes to float, that voice to soothe in ...help him sleep. He didn't complain when he woke up to fresh-brewed coffee, the noises in the kitchen, to the sight of that little kid or ... Swara.

He sighed.

He said he needed time, and she willingly gave him. Never pushed him but he knew he hadn't been nice enough, not strong enough to try. The hope in her eyes, every night he walked in. It tugged him.

They would wait, all of them at the dining table, with expectant eyes waiting for him to take a step and He walked away scared, sacred to see those faces from past, scared it would come rushing back to him, that nightmare he tucked and locked in somewhere deep, those voices and happy faces turning into black charred tangled bodies ..the sight of it...

Sanskaar squeezed his eyes shut. No, he can't ....he just can't. A tear threatened to spill out. He wiped furiously. He's not gonna let that pain get through him again.

Today will be just another day where he's gonna hide.

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That little knock on the door. Sanskaar closed his laptop

Mrs.Braganza must be here with dinner. He escaped today, walked away, and locked himself up.

And it was after 30 mins usually when they realized he wouldn't step out, The dinner would be served.

A nod of acknowledgment before he took in the tray of food, Mrs.Braganza took the message and left.

But that night he didn't expect Miss Bose to be standing right outside his door. There wasn't a tray he noted. His first instinct was to drive her away but he simply stood staring. And he knew his time was up. He will have questions to answer. He turned back. He needed time to compose his thoughts.

He didn't blame her. He wouldn't. Wouldn't have expected her to keep waiting for a lifetime for him to come out of his shell. Maybe he should tell her or ask her to leave ...find someone else

Maybe he should tell her, she can't help him or heal something she probably has no clue of, how deep the pain ran. He felt guilty for asking her to hold on to something with no trace of hope

.... He was hopeless and he should have stayed that way. Trying to rebuild a life ... wasn't for him. He sank into the comfort of darkness ... Now any light merely threatened him.

He drew in a deep breath, braced himself, and turned to face her.

"Miss Bose ...Look...I "

His words simply died, refusing to come out as his eyes moved to her stretched hand, right before him.

"Shall we Mr. Maheshwari?"

She spoke in a calm tone with no hint of irritation or frustration or a reprimand. No questions, no judgment, she simply stood there willing to help.

Minutes passed in silence ...as they watched each other. Her voice made the break

"I can't help, if you don't want to be helped, Mr. Maheshwari. All you have to do is ..." She didn't complete the sentence, but her eyes echoed those words in silence.

Trust me! It's almost like he heard them.

And when he saw her fingers curling back, panic hit him ...A fear. it's almost on impulse he grabbed her hand and held onto it. Like it was the last help that was being offered to him.

"Please take me out of here ..Please." His eyes pleaded in silence. He didn't know if he was waiting ...waiting for someone to walk up to him... for her ...he didn't. All he knew was he took a step...long due.

Her fingers curled around his in a comforting grip and he followed her blindly.

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She didn't let his hand go, not when he took a seat at the table, not when she watched dread creep in his eyes as if he encountered ghosts, didn't wince when he squeezed and held it in a death grip when he took a look around the table.

Those voices floated around his ear, those peels of laughter, the gentle nudging of his mother...

"Chore! Teek se khanaa khaana chdo diya tune. Tumhe nahi " she would direct her murderous gaze to his dad who would simply shrug and laugh off. The constant bickering of his sister

"Bhai .. Suno Na"

"Sanskaar .. Woh jo kal deal..."Those business discussions with his dad, munching on his fav waffles.

He let her hand go.... Only because he had to block those voices, those visions. He stood up with a force and stumbled back. Oh, this hurts! Why did he ever agree to face this hurt again? He wanted to flee back to those confines of darkness. He would have if not for Swara ...

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She didn't know what madness made her rush to him, to hold him. The minute his hand slipped from hers ..she knew he would fall back to old ways. And then she watched the horror on his face first and then ... pain as he stumbled mindlessly falling back.

And she didn't think. He winched, twitched first, and tried to wriggle free. Her strength was no match to his but she held on to him with all her might ... trying to string some words together. And she held him closer when he simply sank down and gave up.

"Let me go please! " The muffled murmur came." Please".

Her heart went out. She started to pull back but he held on to her, curled himself into her hands

"Don't ...Don't"

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The contradictory statements puzzled her, but she saved those dissertations for later.

For Now ...she is going to shield him.

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Thank you! He murmured his eyes cast downwards while sipping the glass of water he was offered. He had no clue for how long he held on to her but he was in much better condition now. They sat in silence while the housework had quietly dismissed themselves.

"I am sorry" He looked at her this time. Of Course, there would be sympathy in those eyes, pity at the pathetic state he was in sometime back but instead ... It was compassion. That's what he felt. And when she simply held his hand, he didn't pull back. It felt good, being looked after, being cared for.

It was surprising, Swara thought the way he composed himself, after such an emotional episode. Talks of some inner strength. Oh ! she had known. She did her bit of research on the Maheswari group. And the major progress was made in the last 5 years after he lost his family. She had seen cases, the ways chose to deal with losses and tragedies. Good, bad & worse, Some simply chose to embrace destructive while... few.

Her eyes on Sanskaar, She thought productive. It must have taken a great deal of effort to hold back all the pain, what toll it might have taken on him, yet he was here.

"I know it hasn't been easy for you Mr.Maheshwari, but what you did was brave," Swara smiled softly.

"Brave?' He tried not to sound sarcastic. Don't patronize me, Just to make me feel better.If I had been brave or strong, I wouldn't have been running away, hiding like a coward all these days. I didn't even try and I am not proud of it, Miss Bose ... Don't call me brave. Please"

"You are! Swara had a mild censure in her tone, " Even if you don't want to admit it. That's fine. I know what deal of strength is required to face your worst fears. We all are different Mr, Maheshwari. It's not the same for everyone. There is no yardstick of measurement here, sooner or later. Sadly we are brought into a society with preconceived notions about tagging, tears, vulnerability, and seeking help for weakness.

Pain just makes us more human and nothing less as a person.

You could have simply refused to hold my hand or shoved me out of the door, but you didn't. Instead, you chose to fight your battle with yourself. If that's not a sign of strength, I don't know what it is." She finished in one shot.

She didn't like the way he was undermining and putting himself down. She curbed that little bubble of anger at that thought. He went on too long with no one to help him or she didn't know if it was his pride or pain that stopped him from asking or accepting help. But he did take a step and she wanted to say she couldn't have been more proud of him..but she will save it for some other day.

He stared at her stunned, at the fierce defense he put on his side. And before he could gather his thoughts, she chose to retire

"Good Night Mr. Maheswari". He might need some alone time, She thought

A few steps ... his voice cracked through the air.

"Why did you never ask what I was doing here every night, Miss Bose ?' He questioned. What prompted him or the relevance of it, He didn't think. He simply waited for an answer

"I guess I know ... Swara shrugged with a smile "You didn't think I was only singing for Tara every day, " She added meeting his eyes.

The declaration took him by surprise. She knew and it was for "him" too.

Suddenly he felt at ease.

."Would you mind?"He asked after a beat and paused as if holding back. He already troubled her enough. He couldn't ask her to stay by his side and simply put him to sleep. "Nothing! He shook his head. "Good Night Miss Bose "

And watched her walk away.

A minute later she walked out with a blanket " You always forget to get one. It gets colder in the middle of the night." He looked cute, she thought with that puzzled expression as he handed him over and he took it with no questions.

She watched him for a minute as he didn't make a move.

,

"Mr.Maheswari you don't expect me to tuck you in bed like I do it for Tara, Do you? You should sleep now. It's already late.

Sanskaar nodded in silence.

"Since I am a kind-hearted generous soul and I am in the mood to do an exclusive singing session for you. Ready? " She said, back to her cheerful self. Enough of heavy-duty on the heart for the day. They deserved a break. Oh, Look at him, He thought she would leave him all on his own. Not when he needed her. Never!

"You asked for it, There is no going back now even if your ears bleed." Swara threw in a warning and cleared her throat just to add extra effect which had him relaxed and smiling, which he didn't think he would tonight.

And she thought That smile looked good on him. Damn Good! And she intends to keep it that way.

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