Hello people

Back with an small update.
Happy reading ! Please ignore any errors or typos
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How do you broach a topic which has serious potential of blowing up, which for sure has high chances of going the wrong way, bringing in all complications which might take away all the hard work you put in till this point? Scary Right! But what if the payoff is huge? Life-altering?

Would you go for it? 

Swara mulled over it all day but finally decided it was worth pursuing. She always believed in taking calculated risks but this was a gamble. Which way would it go? Well, she‘s gonna figure it out.

It was dinner time and thankfully Sanskaar made himself comfortable enough to dine at the table, if not regularly at least frequently. They mostly dined in silence. Their discussions centered around how the day went ..and nothing more. 

Swara chose one of such nights.

“Too much silence. Isn't it suffocating Mr.Maheswari? “She started the conversation casually.

And she wasn’t lying. For someone who had come from a noisy household, the silence at times was too much to bear, as if it closed around her, the emptiness. And In Mansion Like Maheswari’s, it was even more prominent. 

“I got used to it, Miss Bose,” Sanskaar told with no ounce of emotion as if he resigned to fate. It hasn't been easy at the start, walking into darkness, that dreadful chilled silence reminding him of loss every single minute. There are times when he ended up screaming, felt choked with four walls being the only witness of his suffering  And slowly he made it a way of living …

It no longer bothered him, Alas it wouldn't be the same for others. 

“It must be tough for you , Miss Bose. I understand”. He nodded. “ Is there any specific topic of your interest if you are looking for a conversation? “ He asked, his eyes on her. And suddenly he felt the chill…the way she drew in a deep breath, her eyes flickering. What did she have in mind? 

“Fine Mr. Maheshwari.” Swara braced herself  “Let's talk about  the accident”

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She didn't miss a thing. The fall of the tray, crashing of glasses in the kitchen, collective gasps of shocks from spectators, and the blanket of silence that was settling upon.  But she had her eyes only for the person right before her .. how pale he turned, varying degrees of hurt and shock …the way his fingers curled around the fork…in a hold enough to strangle a person.

From the information she gathered during her conversations with others, it was a forbidden topic in that mansion. It was never spoken about nor did Sanskaar let anyone. She poked a sore, raw spot, she was well aware …and to chose to face consequences

Then she watched his fingers, relax a bit. His breath calmed down, but his eyes turned dark and cold as if he was some distant person, not the same one she was having dinner with just a few minutes back.

 “I am letting it go this time. Miss Bose, But Don’t ever bring this discussion again, please”

That please was laced with a warning and the icy and cold tone shot a shiver down her spine.

Ruthless, was the only thing she could think of. But if Mr. Maheshwari thinks he can shoo her off with a frosted tone and those fiery eyes, he was wrong. He didn't know what Swara bose is made of. 

She watched him walk away. “How long Mr. Maheshwari? How long are you gonna run away from the fact that your family is no more, they are not coming back? If she has to be heartless to drive some facts home, she would, “ How long are you gonna suffer in silence and how long do you think you can go on like this? Like a living dead. And why shouldn’t accidents be spoken about? Is there something you are holding on to? Please remember it's not your fault.

“Not My fault? Not My fault. Oh god! The laugh came out humorless at first and when he looked at her, it died. She read the pain. “It's all my fault, Miss Bose... All mine”

And she knew …what was he holding on to. ‘The Survivors guilt “

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She didn't stop when he lashed out. There was pain and fury.

“I  was meant to be on that plane with them. I was meant to die just like them, burn into ashes, not live and breathe when they were right out there breathing their last. Do you know how it feels., when your breath reminds you of them. Why did they have to die? And Why do I deserve to live … 

I could have stopped it. I could have if I wanted to. Maybe I shouldn’t have let Uttara have her way when she wanted to leave early. My mom didn't want to go. I forced her and convinced her to get on that stupid plane. Oh, I could have asked my dad not to go, ask him to help with the deal. I Shouldn’t have told him. “I will take care of it dad” instead I should have told him. “ Dad, I need you. Don’t go.

And I promised, promised  I  would follow them …but see! I failed to keep up with it. I lied and let them go”. And, his voice choked as tears blinded his eyes

“Anything I should have done to stop them from getting on that plane. I could have saved them. They would have been with me, right here. Where they were meant to be. “ He wiped them furiously his anger now directed to Swara

“You knew this. Didn't you  Miss Bose? That this hurts, yet. Is this the fun you have? Hurting the people where it hurts the most, grate the wounds, let them bleed and you come down to sprinkle these words of solace. That's how you earn a living don’t you ?”

She could have corrected him right there, let him know how wrong he was, but Swara didn't. His bitterness needs a way out and she understood where it came from. She forced him to do something he had been running away from all along. She stood unflinching, even when he grabbed her by the shoulders his grip like a vice. 

“You think having a  handsome degree gives you a license to do anything. All you know is to stand on the other side and give some high-handed lectures knowing nothing. I think I had enough of it. Pack your bags & leave.”

“Mr . Maheswari, I know..” Swara tried

“No, you don’t” He almost screamed, his eyes leveled at hers. “Don’t you dare say you know how it feels? You don’t. You don’t know a thing about losing someone….so” 

He thought he saw, felt a sharp sting of pain in her eyes before she glossed it with a cool demeanor,  The way she turned rigid in his hands, like a frozen statue, before she brought herself back … He thought…

“Oh! I think I  do qualify well Mr.Maheshwari,”  Swara held onto those tears stubbornly. Shame if she let them spill now,  “And I know exactly how it feels because…She met his eyes with a blade-like resolve.

“ I lost my family too, just 6 months back. Does that make you feel better ?” 

And everything fell back to silence again …as if time had frozen.
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You didn't see that coming . Did you ?
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