Author's Note: hey guys! We are nearing the end of our drama, I believe in six or seven chapters we would be done with the first part of the story. Thanks to all you who have been faithfully reading and putting up with my bad grammar and my poor skill. I hope it has been fun reading as it has been fun writing for me.

Here is the next chapter, read and enjoy. Don't forget to vote and comment : )

Chapter 14

I was drunk, P'Arthit was right. While he had been busy socializing at the party, I had taken one too many cans of beer. Actually, I was mostly tipsy, but I was thinking clearly, everything now made more sense to me and I was liberated from my guilt of doing this without P'Arthit's explicit agreement, but I thought that it would only take a moment, just a few words to my parents and then finally, it would all be over. How freeing would that be?

My phone vibrated in my pocket. I was sure it was P'Arthit calling; I wouldn't be surprised to see that he has followed me, but it wasn't P'Arthit.

I frowned at Anya's name on my phone screen. "Hello," I answered.

"Kongpob, whatever you are doing don't do it, please," her words were hasty and they left me feeling tensed.

"P'Arthit told you to stop me didn't he?"

"yeah but that's not why I'm calling," she said," you know I'm on your side and if you really think this is the right way to handle this then I will whole heartedly support you."

"Okay," I agreed, Anya has been a good source of support so I was willing to hear what she wanted to say.

"Can you wait for me in front of your parent's place, I will be there in a bit."

I nodded," okay." I never planned to face my parents this way so I had time. Like I promised P'Arthit I will wait till I was sober.

I ended the call and stumbled out of the car. The front of my parent's home was very quiet and the light a bit dim so I didn't think if I stood some few paces away anyone would see me.

Anya arrived a few minutes after, dressed in pants and a hooded sweatshirt. We stared at each other like we were lost for words.

"Let's go somewhere else," she said and I agreed.

We walked a bit while talking about P'Dean. She was someone I hurt and I felt forever guilty towards her, so I couldn't even blame her for what she said and did. The person that hurts me, the only one who can cut me deep and make me bleed was P'Arthit.

Remembering how he had hooked his arms with her, agreed to go out with her all in front of me made me feel really small. I told Anya all this even before we got to a small shop.

"What P'Arthit did was unforgivable, I know, but are you sure you want to do this to P'Arthit. What if P'Arthit hates you for it, have you thought of that?"

I said nothing. I could picture P'Arthit's hate, his anger and how he would abandon me. I have felt it before so I know it. I breathe carefully through the ache in my chest and I shook my head as a groan broke out for me.

"I can't bear it, P'Arthit's hate." I rubbed my face and focused my eyes on Anya. "Do you think he would hate me if I do this?"

"I don't know," she sighed. "Is it a risk worth taking?"

I was too conscious of my thought and was starting to fade back into the person who stayed hidden behind P'Arthit's lie because I was afraid to hurt him, to betray him.

"P'," I called to the mama working in the shop. "Two bottle of beer please."

Anya sighed," You still want to drink?"

"It's the only way I can think clearly, Anya. I don't want my fear to cloud my judgment so I must free myself."

She shrugged," I guess its okay, you said that you are not going to tell them tonight anyway."

"Yeah."

When the bottle of beer came, Anya helped me with it.

"How come you are drinking?" I asked.

"It hurts to see my new favorite ship struggling so much so even I am running away from the pain."

I shook my head and we sat there for a good while drinking and talking. I went a little overboard with the beer, we both did, and by the time I noticed, we've finished three bottles each between us. I could barely see and every step I took, I staggered badly and I slurred and everything else was a blur.

I remember entering a car and something licking my neck, which had felt disturbing, and then I remembered seeing P'Arthit. After that, I couldn't remember anything else.

I woke up on the bed, my mouth tasting like cotton and my ears ringing like church bells. Holding my heavy head, I sat up and blinked around the room. It was a bit smaller than mine with blue walls, some pictures decorating it, clothes hanging around the doors and lying around on the ground.

Confused, I tried to recall where this was and how I had gotten there. Slowly I climbed down and realized I was in nothing but my boxers. I froze. My aching head made it feel like I was looking at everything through a narrow screen.

I walked forward and got my feet tangled in clothes and went tumbling forward then down till I was face to face with white panties. I blinked at them and slowly pushed away. This was... I reached out and grabbed the object between my fingers. This was a ladies pantie and they were everywhere.

I climbed to my feet, letting the object go and I moved towards the area with table, a mirror and some pictures tucked in it. I recognized Anya and her parents, a few other people with Anya in a group shot.

"This must be Anya's room, "I said out loud. Why am I here?

I walked away from the mirror and the pictures and examine my surroundings which confirmed that yes, this was Anya's room. I entered the bathroom and rinse my mouth under the sink, then I took a good look at my face in the mirror. I looked a mess with dark circles under my eyes and I could make out marks around my neck.

I turned away from those marks to deny it. When I returned to the bedroom, I hastily looked for my clothes. Mixed with the others, I located my white shirt and black pants with some difficulties and struggled to put them on.

When I looked at the bed I thought I saw two bodies gliding. My heart started to beat a little faster and it was getting really hard to breathe, like all the air in the room was being sucked out.

I didn't wait till my shirt was buttoned to quickly flee from the phantom people stumbling into the room. I grabbed the door almost the same time as she did but I pulled it open with more force and dragged her stumbling forward, the things in her hands crashed before she came crashing on me and we both went down.

My head was still spinning when she shook me," Kongpob, Kongpob, are you okay?"

I opened my eyes and she was still on top of me, wide eyes filled with concern. "I'm fine "I appeased.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, but you should get up now," I grabbed her arm that were pressing on me and experienced a vivid flash of image, of white skin that my hands had touched. I pulled my hand away like she was on fire and stared at her as she rose to her feet.

It took me a moment to realize she was holding her hand to me but I was too afraid to touch her again. I didn't want to remember anything. I stood by myself and looked at the things on the ground, some food from the road side store.

"Were you going somewhere, Kongpob?" she asked. My eyes searched hers. I was a bit confused. If something had happened, wouldn't she be more...affected? My mind was struggling not to collapse with just the vague memories I was getting.

"w-what, w-why are you looking at me like that?" I was looking hard at her.

"Anya," I began, even as badly as I didn't want to know, I still had to. "Did," I swallowed.

"Did something happen between us last night?"

She blinked at me. "What do you mean?"

I sighed. "After leaving the shop, what happened?"

"I took you home and took off your clothes," she flushed lightly," I had to, you were puking everywhere." That explained the smell.

"And?" I asked, slowly feeling relieved.

"And what, Kongpob?" She laughed," are you asking if we slept with each other?"

I'm glad she can laugh about it but for me I couldn't even smile. Her laugh faded at my blank look and she said," No Kongpob, that didn't happen"

I sighed. "Thank God," I wiped sweat from my face.

"I guess the scene must have looked incriminating, "she smiled.

"Does your room always look like this?"

"Hey, I clean every now and then," she said and pouted.

"Anyway, "I smiled," I have to go."

"Where are you going," she called as I walked out the door.

"To speak to my father."

"Kongpob, you are not still going to tell him, are you?"

"I am."

She said nothing for a good bit. "What about P'Arthit?"

"Don't tell him anything until I get back, okay?" I didn't wait for her answer and flew towards the company filled with the right sense for once. I was afraid that I would hurt P'Arthit by doing this, I was scared he would hate me, but more than that I was scared of what would happen to us if we didn't end this façade.

When I got to the company, I admit I was hesitating. The lift took me up but I didn't let it go up to my dad's office. I stopped it on my floor, the manufacturing department.

As I made to walk out, I bumped into two of my working colleagues, Tee and Plan. They were usually the friendliest people I knew at work but when they bumped into me, they didn't even apologize or say anything.

"Hey," I stopped them," what's wrong?"

Tee has latte colored hair and dark skin, while Plan had brown hair and white face. They glared at me. "What do you want?"

They were both holding a box of their things and that usually meant one thing.

"What happened, talk to me," I said. Anything to delay facing my father but I was still concerned about their situation.

"We were fired, that's what happened." Tee said, "we thought this company has integrity but it we never knew it was this unscrupulous and disgraceful."

"Why are you saying this? Why were you fired?"

"Last week Friday, Tee and I stayed behind to work, but we got... distracted." Plan was the least angry of the two

I didn't quite get what he meant," distracted"

"We were making out!" Tee snapped. "The stupid security man that caught us on camera showed it to your father and now we are fired."

"What?" I shook my head, "no my father wouldn't fire you because you were making out in the office." We had no policy against relationship between workers and everyone knew Tee and Plan were lovers. It never used to be an issue before.

"Oh yes he would. Who doesn't know that the chairman is a big homophobe?"

"No, that's not true," I shook my head as they moved away from me.

"Think what you want then," the lift closed in front of me and I could see my look of disbelief reflecting back.

My father can't be homophobic. That had never crossed my mind as a factor that I needed to consider until now. I never feared that my father might hate me if he knows about me and P'Arthit. I only worried about his anger that we've kept it from him for this long. Ultimately, I expected my father to forgive and accept me. I knew it might be different for P'Arthit, I knew it wouldn't be immediately and it would take some time, and I was prepared to leave my parents if they refused to accept it, but I was not prepared to be hated by my father.

I turned away numbly, confused about where I should go. I was supposed to go straight to my father but I came here because I was worried about P'Arthit, I knew he would be waiting anxiously for me and I may have wanted to give him a chance to come here and tell my father with me.

Now, I couldn't bring myself to tell my father, instead I wanted to confront him about what Tee and Plan said. I wanted to know that it wasn't true.

After a moment considering this, I decided it was the first and right course of action so, determinedly, I pushed the button for my father's floor.

With my heart stuck in my throat and my hands sweating, I approached my father's office. His secretary let me through with a short exchange of greetings and then I was standing in front of his window looking at him work.

What would happen after this conversation was too hard to think about and so I pushed them out of my head and knocked on the door. Sweat trailed down the back of my neck and I pulled in a breath. When my father asked me to enter, I pulled the door open and walked in.

"hm? Son, it's you," he smiled pleasantly then returned his eyes to his work.

"Are you busy dad?" I asked, hoping the nervousness in my voice wasn't so obvious.

He looked up and saw the expression on my face. "What's wrong son?" he asked.

"I just heard that you fired some people from my department," I said.

"I did?" his head tilted to the side. "Why, what did they do?"

"That is what I was hoping you could tell me." I met his eyes head on so I would know if he lies to me.

"I'm sorry son, I don't quite remember. Let me check my files." He was busy for a bit then he looked up at me again. "Oh yes, a Tee and Plan, that's right son. I fired them for misconduct."

I stared at him without words.

"What is wrong? Did I say something wrong?"

"No, I just..." what kind of misconduct. If I asked that would I be too specific. "But if it is a onetime thing shouldn't you have considered giving them a sanction instead?"

I have never questioned my father's decision before but this was a situation I have never been before and I was in need of a good result.

"No, I know those types of people son, they never change. They are just what they are and it's best to cut them out before they start infecting everything."

It was like the loud clap of thunder in my ears to hear my father say that, and though I never considered myself gay, I took it to heart.

"It's not a disease, dad," I said, "Being gay is not a disease."

"What?" he blinked at me. "What has gotten into you today, Kongpob, you are behaving so strangely."
I felt disappointed and annoyed by my father and being in his presence was starting to hurt me, especially when I thought his concern for me would turn if he knew that I was sort of gay too, that I love P'Arthit, and I can't ever stop.

"I should go," I turned and paused at the door," I hope you don't mind dad, but I will be taking the rest of the day off."

It was rude and I would never have done that to him in a million years, but I didn't see him as the father I knew, the father I loved was never this judgmental. I was beyond disappointed and afraid for P'Arthit. If P'Arthit gets a confirmation that my father hates us, or will hate us, he'd never let us come out and if I went ahead and ignore my father's feelings and my feelings, what would come out of it.

I left the company and took refuge at a small restaurant. There I ordered some food but I couldn't eat much from it. I was too worried. Partly I wanted to go back and speak to my father, but what would be the content of that conversation. I couldn't very well try to change his opinion on gay people, or even get him to rehire Tee and Plan. If dad never liked gay how come I was just knowing that now, why didn't I see it? I knew the answer. It was because there had been no sign, my father didn't show any sign about what he thought of gay people, whether he liked or hated them, or like me before now, felt neutral about them. I don't know what to do.

After thinking around in circles, I started to wonder why P'Arthit has not called me. I checked through my pockets and realized that my phone was missing. I could have left it in Anya's place.

I sighed and got up from chair, while leaving my bill on the table. I was more than a little disturbed by what happened in Anya's home and I didn't want to go back until this feeling of...wrong would fade. It felt like something happened, but Anya said it didn't so I believed her.

I left the restaurant and went to wait at Anya's place for her. When she came, I had been waiting for nearly two hours and I was still thinking about what I was going to do about my father and P'Arthit.

"Kongpob," she called me, "back so soon?" her smile was reassuring. I returned it.

"So, what happened? Were you able to tell your dad?"

I let my sigh answer that. "Hmm, didn't go as planned huh," she nodded.

"Want to go in?"

"Actually, can we go out instead?"

"Hey, I cleaned up after you left."

"it's not that," I smiled, a little amused.

"Oh. Okay. Let's go to the store down the street."

We did. It wasn't as crowded as it tended to be and Anya and I took a seat near the door. On our way there I told her what had happened.

"So now what, "she asked me and I dejectedly shook my head.

"I have spent the whole day thinking about that and I can't come up with anything. It's true I don't want to be hated by my father, to be found disgusting and contagious by him but does that mean I should live the rest of my life this way?"

"hmm" Anya paused her humming only when the food she ordered arrived. I turned down her offer of food as I couldn't eat anything right now.

"What about our former plan?"

I shook my head. "How does that help me?"

"you are worried that if you tell P'Arthit that your father is homophobic he might break up with you and or make sure the two of you remain a secret forever."

I sighed. That just summed up all that was making my inside twist in ways it definitely is not supposed to.
"So if you go on with the marriage idea, then it would force P'Arthit to stop you and intentionally come out to the world."

I thought about it and that seemed like it might work, but if it doesn't then what? I lose everything. I buried my face in my hand and stayed like that for a few minutes.

"Kongpob?" Anya called me.

"Tell me," I raised my head, "tell me what I need to do."

"First, here." She handed me my phone. "It's been ringing all day."

I glanced at the number of calls; thirty eight, all from P'Arthit. He must be so worried about me. I began to smile and felt tears sting my eyes. I was about to call him back when she stopped me.

"Don't do that, Kongpob. Leave him to worry about you, and then when you meet him hit him with the news."

"The news," I said.

"That you will be marrying me."

"And what reason would I give him for doing that?"

"That your father is making you. That would be good reason enough."

I held her eyes and though she was smiling, I found it hard to return that smile. "Okay, "I said, "tell me the rest of the plan."