Author's note: hello and thank you to everyone who voted and commented and all who have been reading since the beginning of the story. This chapter is coming early because I love you guys and I am, like every writer and artist, hungry for feedbacks X D I hope you enjoy it. Btw, I was wondering if you would like me to put some spoilers at the end of the following chapters, so that you get a sneak peak on what's coming next.

Anyway, read and enjoy : )

Chapter 15

I washed my hair under the sink and let the water drown out my troubled thoughts. I was having a strong headache and it hurt from the middle of my head to my neck.

I pulled out from the sink, while twisting off the water as I grabbed blindly for a towel that was frustratingly out of reach. After a breath too long reaching for it, I felt the soft material on my hand; it had been brought to me. I took it after a short pause and started drying my face. When I lifted my eyes, I saw Kong's still sad and beaten down expression in the mirror and looked away.

I wanted to blame myself. My eyes fixed on the tap as I dried my hair slowly.

"P'Arthit?"

I wanted to take on all the responsibility for this.

"P'Arthit, can you please talk to me?"

But... there was an unexplainable feeling of anger directed not at me but at the person calling me so insistently and Anya. I was wrong to have left them to their own devices; they were partly to blame for this, weren't they?

No, it was me. If I had not supported Anya's lie they wouldn't have had to pretend to like each other in front of Kong's father. This was my fault.

"P'Arthit please," his voice touched a place inside me that always moves me to want to comfort him. I met his eyes again.

"Can we not talk about it?" I asked, "My head hurts."

We looked at each other for a moment then he reached forward with both hands. "Where, here?" his fingers dipped into my hair and on my scalp.

"Close," I whispered.

"Here?" I nodded imperceptibly when his fingers found the aching part. He slowly massaged it with both hands, touching the parts that really ached. I let my eyes fall close a little.

He was watching my face, I knew without looking and I could feel the heat coming from his body so close to mine. I knew we had problems to deal with and I knew that it was a big problem, one that would take a lot to deal with considering that Kongpob and I can no longer see eye to eye on anything, but it's been too long and my body was humming gently and pleasantly to his actions, his fingers moving in kind circular motions on my scalp

"My neck hurts too," I whispered and opened my eyes only a little to catch the hunger in his gaze. I pretended not to see and moved my neck to ease the pressure.

He swallowed audibly as his eyes moved to my exposed neck. I watch him under my lashes lean downwards like he would touch me with his lips.

"Do you want to go lie down?" he asked and I wondered how much longer he was going to be patient for. "So I can give you a massage?"

I nodded and walked passed him as though I was unaffected. My hair was still wet so I lay across the bed on my stomach so that I was horizontal on the bed and not on the pillows.

I heard him climb on the bed, felt him straddle my hips and tried my hardest to keep still and control myself.

His fingers came down very slowly, as though he was afraid of touching me. He has touched me so much in all these years, but in this moment it felt like the first time and I was beyond getting excited. My breathing have long since deepened and as his fingers rubbed my neck and dipped into the neckline of my shirt I felt drool of want rise in my mouth and bent my head down to hide my flushed face.

His fingers knew my body and they explored it within the confines of my clothes and nowhere else. I started to get a little frustrated. It wasn't like Kongpob to be so patient, I should already be shirtless by now.

This brought my mind to the night that he spent where I did not know and Anya's lie. I was convinced Anya had lied to me.

"Where did you sleep," I asked when it was clear Kongpob wouldn't go further than regular massage. Although I wanted him to, really really bad, I did like what his hands were doing too.

"Huh?" he sounded distracted, which pleased me, then he hesitated like he was thinking up an excuse to give me.

"Why are you taking so long to answer?" I let my irritation lick from my voice.

"Sorry, P'Arthit, I spent the night at Anya's" he replied. My mood turned sour immediately. I moved to turn and he got off from me to let me.

"Why did you have to think about it to tell me that? Did something happen?" I was jealous of those two; I can admit that to myself. I pretended not to be because I knew Kongpob was using it to get into fights with me. The jerk loved fighting and looking for the perfect reasons to fight with me.

"No," he said so sincerely I believed him and felt guilty for thinking terrible things.

I looked away from his hurting expression, guilt ridden. "I'm sorry, I just...you and Anya are strangely close and..."

"P'Arthit." He called me and turned my face to him till I could look him in the eye. "I will never hurt you like that. I have never wanted anyone the way I want you, not ever. When I look at you I can't see anyone else.'"

"Even when I cause you so much pain?" I asked. I knew I have been hard on Kongpob, that I made him do things he wouldn't have done, things that hurt him and I knew I have disappointed him more than once. On the award for boyfriend of the year, I wouldn't be winning anything.

"'even then," he smiled," even when you make me angry to death. I still and always will love you P'Arthit. I won't ever stop. Even if everything changes, even if things... become difficult, just know that. Never forget it."

"Don't talk like that," I pushed him away to hide my discomfort. I don't know for sure but it sounded like Kongpob was really set on marrying Anya. Does he think I will let him do that?

"P'Arthit," he called me and I turned to see that his face was close to mine, his red lips and sincere eyes that were focused on my lips, his breathing was heavy and mine was becoming the same the longer we stayed like this.

"I will do anything for you, do you know that?" he said. I let out air because I did know that, and I also knew I have been a bad person by exploiting that.

I nodded.

"Can I ask you to do something for me now?" he asked and I felt him move closer. Every cell in my body tingled and I wished he'd kiss me already. I needed his mouth on me like an hour ago.

"Yes," I said my voice low with need.

"P'Arthit, let me kiss you,"

My heart thumped hard in my chest. Why was he asking, did he think I would say no? I open my eyes that had fallen close on their own and saw that look of rapt burning need in his black eyes and it pulled sharp desire from the depts. of my being. I nodded but when he moved, I met him halfway.

When our lips met, I'm not kidding, it was like fireworks. Stars exploded behind my eyelids and our mouths deepened almost instantly and I could finally get that taste that I couldn't ever get tired of. The taste of Kongpob, the taste of my boyfriend, the taste I have missed so much.

I felt him shift us and followed along because I did not want to be separated from him. We shifted till I was back on the pillows and he was on top of me. Our movements gradually moved from slow to fast and needy, from sensual to ravenous. I wanted Kongpob to touch me everywhere and it was as though I was on fire.

Tomorrow, I thought, we will fight, we will talk and we will deal with all our issues, but for tonight, for this moment, I will never let Kongpob stop doing this, never let him go anywhere.

When the morning came, I woke up early. Let's say that I didn't really sleep despite Kongpob's attempt to pound me into a coma. Thanks to that I think I know what our next plan should be.

He stirred beside me but didn't wake. I watched his expression as he slept and then I thought about Anya. Why had she felt the need to lie? Did she think I wouldn't understand if she told me that Kongpob had slept at her place? What was she hiding?

I have, despite myself, grown to trust Anya. I didn't believe she had any ill will against us, only an unhealthy focus in our lives, but I still needed to know what she was thinking. I have to pretend not to know the truth for now and see what she does.

"What are you thinking so seriously about and why aren't you sleeping?" His voice was thick with sleep and I knew he was not yet fully awake.

"Sleep, I will tell you tomorrow," I said.

He sniffed and turned so he was lying face up. His eyes shook off some sleep as he regarded me.

"Kongpob, "I said and touched his face, expressing my love for him without words. I loved Kongpob, if not as much as he loves me then maybe more. There was no way I would watch him marry another.

"You can't marry Anya, you know that, right?"

He held my eyes silently for a moment, then he nodded. "But my father—"

"I don't think your father would ever let you marry anyone if you are not happy with the person." I said, "He is only making you marry because he thinks you are in love with Anya, right?"

I knew I was right despite Kongpob's furrowed expression. "So, you just have to stop pretending to love Anya. You have to show him that it wouldn't work out."

"But P'Arthit," he shifted to seat up right and remained frowning despite my good idea. "My father might not trust it and he is pushing the wedding to happen in the next month."

I shook my head because I knew and understood Kong's father, nothing is more important than his son's happiness, "trust me, Kong, your father would never let you marry Anya if he thinks you are unhappy."

It was a good plan, and I knew it would work, I was very confident but Kongpob released one sigh after another.

"What?" I eyed him.

He shook his head and then met my eyes, "P'Arthit, cant we just..."

"What?" it was my turn to squeeze my brows.

He said nothing but I knew what he wanted to say; can't we just tell my father.

"When you went to tell him, what happened?" I asked. I knew it couldn't have been good.

He shifted his eyes from me. "I didn't. I was too worried about what you would think, how you would feel."

I said nothing, only watching him and he looked back at me but his eyes wandered away. I leaned forward and kissed his lips. "Thank you," I said softly against them.

When I pulled back I caught tears in his eyes but he kissed me again so I didn't get to ask. He pulled me till I was on top of him.

"Kongpob,"I complained as I now found myself straddling him. "Seriously, already?"

"Two weeks, P'Arthit. It was way too long."

"Hey!" I tried to evade the lips that were kissing my neck and sucking my collar bone but the hand on my back and thigh refused to let go. Not long I am moaning and asking for more, like he can make me do even while I wanted to knock him out.

I went to the office the next day aching all over but feeling deliriously happy. I remembered the scene at my door in the morning.

"P'Arthit, don't forget to eat lunch today," he said while looking at me as I grabbed my bag and started for the door.

"I won't, you too."

"Hey," he stopped me from walking out the door that I had pulled open

"What?"

He walked over," you have..." I leaned away from his hands that were reaching for my neck. He chuckled at me, chuckled.

"You have something here, P'Arthit." I flushed as I remembered the embarrassing hickey this guy had given me on my neck.

"Crap, I thought my collar was covering it."

He smiled at me, "don't let anybody see it, P'Arthit, it's only for my eyes."

I took two hasty steps from the lusty man. "Don't even. Be gone from here by the time I get back, you biter."

He chuckled, "I will see you tonight, P'Arthit."

I shook my head, turned and left but I was hiding a smile. I haven't seen Kongpob like this in so long. This was good. I returned to my environment with that smile still on my lips as I got out of the lift,

"Team leader, swadde karp!" I haven't seen Ai'Pete since his birthday and here he was like a smiling peacock.

I answered his greeting. "How is the lover?" he asked while making eyes at me, I pushed his face away.

"Go away, Pete, I don't have time for you," I said.

"Tell Kongpob that I like him," he said in a whisper voice. I shook my head as he smiled cheekily and left.

When I raised my head, I came face to face with P'Dean. I wondered if this unsettling feeling would ever fade away. It would be really unpleasant to deal with if I always have to feel this guilty in front of her since we worked together.

'Arthit," she greeted me and I returned her greeting.

"You didn't seem yourself yesterday, are you alright now?" she asked. I think her worry was genuine considering I can remember how I had been moving around like the undead yesterday all because of Kongpob.

"Yes," I nodded with an equal polite smile.

"If you have the time, Arthit, we should eat lunch together."

I wanted to refuse, but it was hard to refuse a woman you feel really sorry to. "Okay, whenever you are ready, P'Dean."

At lunch she decided to take me out saying: "what I want to talk to you about, we can't talk about it here."

This of course made me very tense. "Okay, I'm fine with whatever you want P'Dean."

When we reached a small eatery, I opened up the seat for P'Dean and as she made to seat, she touched my hand. It looked accidental so I shrugged it off.

We sat down and started to order food.

"I noticed that you and Kongpob are having some issues, I hope you are going to be alright."

I don't know how sincere her feelings were, really they sounded sincere to my ears but I thought about what Kong said and tried to sift her words through his ears.

"We are."

"Tell me the truth, Arthit, have you never been interested in a woman?"

The question made me really uncomfortable but I didn't show it and only smiled, "why do you ask, P'Dean?"

She shrugged casually," you just don't seem like the typical gay," she said. "You are very good looking Arthit."

She was never this forward before so I was a little stymied in my responds. "I still haven't gotten over you. I don't know, maybe because I feel that since it is a guy I still have a chance?"

I didn't reply to that either because I didn't want to hurt her feelings. "I am sorry about what I did to you, P'Dean"
this must be my tenth apology.

"Arthit," she sat forward, "be honest, what do you think about me."

"I think you are a beautiful woman who will make someone happy one day," I said sincerely.

"Will you believe me if I told you that I'm still hoping that one day that someone will be you"
I waited a few breaths. "It can't ever be me, P'Dean," I said.

"Because of Kongpob?" she laughed, " You can't even tell anyone about him, you are obviously ashamed of him."

I shook and stared agape at her, and then I lowered my eyes. "Is that what it looks like to you?"

She said nothing.

"Sorry. I'm not romantic or anything but... Kongpob is the love of my life. In this lifetime, no one can ever measure up to him. Don't wait for me, P'Dean, because I will never be able to choose anyone that isn't Kongpob. And it's not because he is a guy. I love him because he is him. Even though I am bad at expressing it, and I it seems like I am only doing the wrong things, the fact that I love Kongpob will always be true."

After saying all that with all the sincerity I had in my heart, I stood up to leave. It was clear that any more relations with P'Dean would only bring hurt.

"Then," she stopped me with her one word. "Why did you lie to me? Why did you and Kongpob not just be together and leave other people alone!"

I didn't expect that and when I looked around, her raised voice had attracted eyes. "P'Dean?"

"I was okay with liking you from afar, and if you had told me that you already had someone you like I would have let you go. I'm used to having the people I like not like me back. It's my whole story. My mother, my father and my brother. None of them cared for me like I cared for them. I am used to it but you..."

She rose to her feet shaking, "you P'Arthit, you gave me hope. You made me think that I could have something and then you took it away. You have no idea how much you hurt me, P'Arthit and the fact that you think I will just forgive you for that says how little you consider people."

I stared at her in stunned silence and mortification as she heaped those words and accusations on me.

"You are the worst kind of person and anyone who loves you is in big trouble. Kongpob hasn't realize it yet but soon he will come to see you the way I do and then maybe you will come to understand a little. If you don't, then I will have to teach it to you. I will have to destroy that thing that is so important to you."

She had tears in her eyes and as she turned, a few fell and splashed on my hands. "P'Dean," I took hold of her hand. "I am sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I didn't know what I was doing. I know I can be selfish and that I am stubborn but I never wanted to hurt anyone. I am really sorry."
She was silent for a stretch of a moment and though I was still keeping her there by holding her hands, it felt that she was not there.

"P'—"

"Okay, I will believe what you are saying, after everyone knows about you and Kongpob," she tugged her hand free as I frowned at the side of her face.

Her eyes met mine and she smiled. "Maybe now, you will come to know your own true feelings." She smiled unpleasantly and walked away with her shoulders stiff.
I let out a sigh and even though I wanted to think about what she said, I couldn't do it here.

When I got back to the office there was a pile of work that I didn't know what to do with so I never got the time to ruminate on everything P'Dean had said. I pushed it to tonight when I was at home.

During the middle of work, where I was so buried in paperwork I couldn't tell which way was up, I got a call from Kong's father.

I stared at my phone the same way one would stare at a strange but harmful creature. Kong said he never told his father about us and that his father was forcing him to marry Anya in one month. I didn't understand why he would do that and I was skeptical that there wasn't more to it than him just wanting to tie his family and Anya's together. What if he has already made some guesses and is trying to make sure that Kong marries a woman and clear his doubt.

I sighed at my paranoia. How would Kong's father know? There was just no way, no one would have told him, not Anya, not P'Dean, not anyone. But if P'Dean was serious about hurting me, she could do that. I shook my head and picked the call just as it would go to voicemail.

"Hello, sir."

"Arthit, your company sent over some contract information that I am looking over right now, are you sure about these numbers?"

I sighed. It seemed this was a business call. "Um, yes, can you tell me the numbers again?"

I started to sift through my crowded table of paperwork, nearly toppling my coffee mug, looking for a copy of said document.

Once I confirmed the order to Kong's father he said, "Very good, we will begin work on it today."

"Thank you sir," I said with deep gratitude.

"By the way," he breathe," have you spoken to Kongpob? He seemed not quite himself yesterday. "

"Uh, yes sir. I was able to find him."

"I think he misunderstood me about something yesterday, I don't even know why he took it so personally. "

"What is that sir?"

"It's just a small thing, over a few employees I had to fire. You two should come and visit soon, okay?"

"Yes sir," I said just to agree.

"How about this Saturday?" I didn't expect a date to be put on the invitation

"Uh," I cleared my throat, "I will see if Kongpob is free." I never could deny the man anything. I owed him a lot at this point.

"Okay then, see you."

That ended the day. Oh no, I still have work.

I was about to scream at the white paper covered surface of my table when I heard a knock. I looked up and Kongpob was there.

"Kongpob," I said slowly.

"Hi," he said, "do you mind?"

"Um, no, what's wrong?"

"I just thought I would be with you till you close from work, then maybe we could go on a date?"

I looked out behind him for anyone within hearing distance. "Kong, come inside and lock the door."

He closed the door and walked inside. My office was a simple white space with some plastic cabinets. My presently disorganized table and my swerving chair are the only things I liked in my office. This was Kong's first time here since I got the office. He never comes to see me here, and I never bothered to ask why.

He looked through the little paintings and pictures I had used to decorate the office to make it mine and smiled. "It's so simple, worst than I imagined," he said.

I made a face, "not everyone wants to put everything they own in their office, "I said.

"I don't put everything I own," he argued and came over to seat on the edge of my table. "Just the things that make me remember a certain someone."

At home I had all the evidence of our relationship plastered on my walls, my mirror, my drawers, while Kong had his in his office. Nothing as incriminating as I had at home such as pictures—though he does have one or two of us after my graduation and his—nothing that would raise any eyebrows. But that meant he had a lot of stuff there, presents that I had given him, things we both liked. It was a lot.

"You've never come to see me before, why are you here?"

"I missed you." For some reason I didn't expect that response. "I couldn't wait for you to come home so I came to get you. And it looks like you still have a lot of work to do."
I was staring agape at him so I didn't immediately respond. His smile at my expression brought me back to his words. "I uh, yeah, this is just a pile up from work I didn't do yesterday."

"Why didn't you do your work yesterday, P'Arthit," his words were seductive, no not the words, the way he said them.

"Why do you think," I glared at him and shook my head. "Why did you have to come, you are distracting me now."

He laughed, "But I'm not doing anything. Can I just seat by while you work."

"Hmm," I stared at him and lowered my eyes to my papers, then back to his. He was just looking at me with this smile and I was starting to feel hot.

"I can't work with you staring, go and look out the window or something."

He chuckled. "Okay, I will go out and get something, I think you would be here for a while,"

I looked at him and chuckled, "you are being so weird. Why don't you just go home first, I will be there soon."

He leaned forward so I was forced to lean backwards from him, "I don't want to leave you alone P'Arthit," he said, "am I hindering your work P'Arthit?"

I swallowed a little pull of want, "no, you are not. I am perfectly fine."

"Then," he looked at my paper and then at me.

I opened my mouth speechlessly, "Kongpob, you are too close."

"Is that bad?"

I wanted to kiss him and push him off at the same time but I thought two can play that game though.

"No, "I cleared my throat and I shifted forward and into his space so there is little space between our lips. I met his eyes and saw that he was looking at my lips. His breath fanned my face and made me tingle. We stared at each other, him smiling and me trying not to break. He was too good at this.

I laughed and pushed his face away. "I can't do it,"

He laughed. "Your blushing has come back again,"

"Just go away, you," I threw papers at him till he opened the door.

"I will be back soon P'Arthit." He said to me and dissolved behind the door. I sighed while grinning so deeply I was hurting my gums. It's been a while since Kongpob has been like this. I didn't know I missed it so much. Hopefully, from now on we can remain like this and finally return to how we used to be. I couldn't really relax yet until I am sure that Kongpob and Anya's marriage was called off.