Author's note: hey guys! With this chapter we will be three more chapters to the end of this first part of the story. I hope you've enjoyed it so far. Thanks a lot for the votes and the comments. At the end of the episode would be a little snippet of chapter 18 Don't forget to vote and comment, I really love seeing them. : )

Chapter 17

It was impossible for me to shrug off what Anya had said to me that night. When I am working, I think about it, when I am eating, I think about it, when I am having a conversation with someone my mind drifted to it. I wondered what she had been thinking to say that to my face like that. I wondered when she started falling in love with Kongpob and why I failed to see it, I wondered what else I have failed to see and if I even knew who she was.

Kongpob could see my restlessness and he reassures me that Anya had been joking, that it wasn't serious and that I shouldn't worry about it, but I just couldn't shrug it off. I needed to know more, I needed to know who Anya Rohjhat is.

"P'Arthit, are you even listening," a weepy voice drew my attention and I focused on the wet, nasal liquid covered face of Pete. He has been this way since I said some greetings to him.

"Why are you crying Pete?" I asked and he gave me a look of shock then of hurt.

"I just spent the last five minutes o-or more pouring my heart out to you, and you are asking me that again?" he drew a long breath and I expected him to say something rude or something meant to sting but he instead burst into more crying

"Oh," I pulled out some tissues from the tissue box and handed it to him. "I'm sorry, Ai Pete, I was distracted, I can't give you my full attention today."

He collected the tissues, blew his nose into them, and then focused pink eyes on me. "I noticed since three days ago you've been really out of it."

I said nothing. I knew I couldn't go on like this; my mind was threatening to drive me insane as I pictured crazy scenarios. The craziest one yet was that wedding that was still very on the way. Though Kong didn't say anything, I found a note meant to be kept private in his pocket, a note to see a suit tailor. Yes I was snooping through his things, and yes I won't stop doing it because I still felt that Kongpob was not being completely honest with me.

I believed him about not sleeping with Anya and not knowing that she was in love with him and wanted to marry him, I believed mostly everything but I doubted that he was telling me all of it. Why was he eagerly getting married to Anya? He didn't love her, the love bites on my body and the kisses that he gave me proved that I wasn't sharing Kong's love with anyone, but there was something, a distance. Have you ever felt that someone has never been more close to you that they even share your clothes and your bath and yet might be a world apart from you, that they are still so distant? Something was wrong, something really important.

"You are doing it again, Team leader," Pete moaned and I looked at him again. He was still here?

"Okay, okay, let's try to solve your problem first then you can solve mine, okay?"

I looked at him dubiously, "what do you mean?"

Pete sighed heavily like I was too slow, "I mean tell me what is bothering you and maybe I can help."

Before now, I would have told him to mind his business and get back to work, but right now, I was a mess. I couldn't deal with this on my own and Kongpob wasn't much help to me. Maybe I needed someone to run my thoughts over with, maybe they would tell me that I am onto to something, that I am not just crazed with jealousy.

"Pete," I started, "listen to everything I want to say without interrupting, okay?"

He nodded. So I told him everything. About meeting Anya, about how she liked us despite the fact that Kongpob's father and mother liked her to be Kong's wife. She has been a friend and when she had found out about our secret, she kept it for us and didn't tell anyone. She lied for us and she has been what I could easily have called a big support to me and Kongpob. But now she is in love with Kongpob and wants to marry him, she lied to me about where she had taken Kongpob and I did not know why. I think something happened between them, but Kongpob swears it didn't. I believed him but I was worried something else is going on.

After pouring out all my feelings and my fears, and everything that has tormented me for days, I felt a sense of deep relief and watched Pete's white face for an answer, a solution. How can I stop Kongpob's wedding when the person he wants to get married to wants to marry him as well and Kongpob does not believe me. What is Anya up to, how can I find out.

"P'Arthit, this is serious. Kongpob is getting married and I wasn't invited?!" I wanted to smack him. No I should smack myself for putting faith in this peacock who didn't know what seriousness meant. I simply shook my head at him and stood.

"Wait, P'Arthit, I am joking. Joking," he hurried after me as I approached the window in my office. "Let me help you."

I turned my head and looked at him. "How are you going to help me, exactly?"

"I could give you the whole solution to your problem."

I didn't trust him so I prepared myself to be disappointed.

"Why don't you... tell everyone the truth? Lying hasn't helped you so far and if you tell everyone the truth, Kongpob wouldn't have to marry anyone. I think Kongpob is probably going on with this wedding for your sake."

I already knew that but... telling everyone the truth didn't seem like a better option compared to at the very least using other means to stop it. What happens after we tell everyone? It would be shock, hurt and disappointment for everyone that we've been lying to. If we could spare ourselves of that then it would be better. I knew deep down that coming out now would be better, but I wasn't powerful enough to face the shun, the disappointment, I wasn't ready to fight over what is best for Kongpob and I wasn't ready to face the risk of losing him. I never will be.

I shook my head, "no, that is my last resort, when I can't think of anything else."

"So what then, what can you think of?"

I glared at him, "that's why you are here, to help me right?"

He shrinks away like I was a strike of lightening. My voice had a been a bit harsh. "Sorry," I whispered and looked away.

"No, no, I know you are angry and afraid. It's alright. Um, okay, how about talking to Anya? She can call off the wedding."

"She doesn't want to."

"But you said she supports you and Kongpob, a BL fan girl."

I was still learning what that meant. "Okay. So maybe she deserves a bit more talking to."

I didn't want to. My talk with Anya a few days ago had left me feeling shocked and mad. She spoke to me with such arrogance and such certainty that I would do as she asked and nothing could ever make me stop disliking her in that moment.

"Okay," I agreed anyway. I would do anything as long as it leads me to a solution.

After that, I called Kongpob to know where he was.

"We are looking through...sites and preparing things. The wedding is less than two weeks away, P'Arthit."

I bit my lip to keep back a biting remark. I hated how easily Kong was going with this, but I knew I was the one making him. I was to blame for it.

"Okay," I said, and went silent.

"P'Arthit..."

"What?"

"Are you angry with me?"

I sighed; he was using that puppy hurt voice at me.

"no," I said harshly, then amended my voice again," no."

"I... won't be able to come home today, I have a lot of work later, but I will call you, okay?"

"Okay," I replied.

"I love you."

I didn't say anything back, even though the words were practically burning my throat.

"Okay, bye," he said and I lost the chance to speak. Or maybe I wasn't going to say anything either way.

It was a good two days later that I was able to get Anya to see me. We met at a café just outside the road to my workplace. She was wearing her hair in a fancy style, like those cheeky fancy girls from rich homes. It was...new.

"P'Arthit," she smiled at me as she got close. I stood up and said nothing.

"Why so gloomy, P'Arthit, I thought you would be happy to see me, after all I am the one who is going to take all your problems away."

"I didn't ask you to," I said.

"But you want me to."

"What I want, is for you to cancel the wedding, Anya."

She fell silent, and her eyes regarded me. "Let's seat down first, P'Arthit."

We did. She called the waiter to get us drinks, I wanted water, and then we sat in silence.

"I know you hate me now, but you don't know that I am only trying to help," she said after a brief quiet moment.

"By marrying him? Please." I didn't believe that, even a little bit. "You said you love him."

"I do, thank you P'" she smiled at the waiter who delivered her red drink and took a sip. I left my water to sit.

"And how is it that your marrying him is helping me?"

"P'Arthit," she went quiet and then shook her head, "you have to at some point face the reality, Kongpob already has. He knows that you will never come out, that you will remain in the shadows. I don't know what you are afraid of, or why but your fear has crippled your love for Kongpob and it won't ever take you far."

"That's not true."

"If I am lying then why don't you try to come out, go now and tell Kongpob's father that you love his only son. He might not call off the wedding or be happy with you, he might hate you and throw you out of his life and his son's, but at least he would know and Kongpob would be free. Try it, P'Arthit. "

I stared at her. She stared back then nodded. "I thought so. You are too afraid. It paralyses you completely to be rejected by those you love. I know you love Kongpob's parents like they are your own and you don't want to lose them, I know that, I understand that. That's why I am trying to help you this way. I am freeing you from your fears."

The rationality in her words took some thoughts and consideration, I had to admit, but they were not sincere.

"How long have you been in love with Kongpob?" I asked.

"Excuse me?"

"You say you are only doing this to help me, but you are in love with him. How long have you known that you love him?"

"I-I don't know that it is important."

"When you lied to me about taking him home, why did you do it? Were you in love with him then? Was that when it started?"

My question seemed to surprise her. "P'Arthit, I don't..."

"Don't even lie, I know Kongpob slept at your place that night."

She sighed and rubbed her fingers together. "So?"

"So?" I repeated.

"If you are worried that I slept with him, I'm sure Kongpob has already cleared your fears."

"I want to know why you lied and why you fell in love with a man that is not yours!" I barely kept myself from hitting the table.

She stared at me unfazed. "I lied because I knew you wouldn't understand, and I didn't want to give you and Kongpob more reasons to fight over. I didn't mean to fall in love with him, you never plan these things."

I sat back on the chair and watched her.

"P'Arthit—"

"Are you going to call off the wedding or not?" I asked.

"I can't, my father has already signed off on it. He will be coming down to Bangkok soon to attend it. "

"No—"

"Yes, P'Arthit and I am serious, I will let you be with Kongpob, I won't come between the two of you. I like you too, P'Arthit. I might even love you and the last thing I want to see is you and Kongpob unhappy. So..." she rose to her feet. "I still haven't bought my wedding dress, and there is so much left to do. See you later."

I didn't have any words to say to her. I didn't trust anything she was saying. She never told me when she fell in love with Kongpob. It was important for me to know this because, then it would mean that she never really had us in mind from the very beginning. I couldn't reconcile her with the person I saw in front of that restaurant who didn't know what was happening. I couldn't let her get what she wanted.

"How much about Anya do you know," I asked Kongpob after he finished brushing and climbed into the bed with me. He looked at me and smiled.

"That's not the conversation I was thinking of having in bed, P'Arthit."

"Kongpob, why are you going on with this wedding?" I never asked before but I didn't know Kongpob to be the type that would just give in to what his father wanted.

"P'Arthit..."

"Kongpob," I swallowed what I wanted to say, shocked that I could feel tears in my throat

"Never mind," I made to rise from the bed but he caught me around the waist and hugged my side, pressed his face into my body and breathes.

I sat back down and rubbed my face. He shifted to lean on the bed and hover over me till I opened my eyes and met his.

"Kongpob, don't get married, please."

I was all out of ideas on how to stop this wedding. It was not a week left and I didn't know that I wouldn't have to come out with the truth.

Kongpob stared at me, then his fingers caressed my face. "You can end it, cant you?" I asked.

"I want to, but I have disappointed my father so much and my mother, I just can't, P'Arthit."

"So you will marry her," my voice shook.

He looked away and lay back on the bed.

I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it.

"I'm going out," I rose from the bed.

"P'Arthit," he called but I ignored him

The air outside was really cold and I was only wearing a polo shirt. I should have brought something warm to wear, like a jacket or a sweater. I started walking till I passed Kongpob's place, till I reached the main road and I kept going. I couldn't out run my problems and my reality.

I hated that Kongpob wouldn't end the wedding. My heart squeezed every time I thought about the days remaining; seven days. Only seven days. What have I been doing? I didn't come up with anyway to stop the wedding and if this continues then, there is only one other option for me. What should I do?

The panic I have been feeling since I talked to Anya has slowly risen to the apex. I couldn't look at Kongpob and I couldn't eat anything, or sleep and I was restless, my work was suffering.

I needed to clear my head. I wasn't one for drinking but when I spotted a small drinking parlor, I stopped. I wanted to get drunk.

I entered though a green door and looked around. It was very dark with dim lights coming from the bar and I could make out a lot of people there. I took a seat deep inside and ordered a simple bottle of hard liquor. I was drinking slowly when I saw someone come in that looked like Anya.

She had come with two people, women, I vaguely recognized. I had seen them wearing army uniform in one of Anya's pictures. I thought Anya's friends didn't live in this part of the country, that was what she had told me anyway.

I watched them talking and laughing for nearly two hours, the rest of my drink untouched. If these were Anya's friend then they ought to know her more than I did at the moment.

I walked out of the pub later and saw them hail a taxi and drove away. Maybe I shouldn't have confronted Anya, but I did.

"Anya," I said when they had left.

She went really still at the sight of me. "P'Arthit," she laughed, "what are you doing here?"

I ignored the question. "Who were those people?"

She looked at the road had drove off on like they were standing there and then back at me. "Just some people I met, why are you asking P'Arthit?"

She never told me they were her friends and I had seen the picture in passing on a one time visit to her place. I didn't stay very long enough to be sure though.

"You just seemed close," I said.

"I was inviting them to my wedding, on Friday. They don't live here in Bangkok."

"Okay, "I nodded.

"Are you alright, P'Arthit? Kongpob told me you've been... rather upset."

I pressed my lips together. I can't believe that Kongpob has been talking about me with her. Just what was that?

"I am fine, don't worry."

Civilly, we talked then we went our ways. Friends that weren't friends that were supposed to be somewhere far away. I might be over thinking this, maybe Anya invited them down for the wedding. I don't know, I don't really care, but that little blunder—they are people I just met—was enough to raise my suspicions.

The next day, Monday, I did my best to track down Anya's friends. I didn't know them by name but I thought I could recognize them if I could get my hands on the pictures of some female army medics.

I didn't on that day and on the next and in three days Kong's wedding would be taking place. I abandoned that plan and went on to try and make Kongpob end the wedding.

"I'm not going to that wedding," I said.

He turned from arranging our dinner and met my eyes. "P'Arthit..."

"You can't seriously think I want to watch you marry Anya."

"No, but I need you there. P'Arthit, you know I am doing this for us, right?"

"Don't," I snapped and pushed the chair I was sitting violently away till it smashed into the wall and the drawer near the bed. "You are not getting married for me. Or for us, you want her, don't you? You spent so much time with her and now you want to be with her. You tell her everything."

"P'Arthit,"

"To be honest I don't even know you. You are not the Kongpob I fell in love with, you would never comply with something like this. Where is the person who stood up to me in school, the one who never just let's things go and always have to be the hero. Is it only with me that you can get angry and fight and..."

"P'Arthit, please don't,"

"If you love me you will stop this wedding, right now Kongpob."

'"it is because I love you that I am doing this!' he snapped. We stared wordlessly at each other.

"What?" I whispered.

"Do you know, how selfish you are, P'Arthit?" Kongpob sighed and said this to me.

"I am selfish."

"Yes! You want me to stop the wedding, you want me to keep your secret, you want me to lie, but what do I want that you have ever done for me? I do everything for you, breath just for you and go to lengths that I don't want to go and you do nothing in return. If you want to stop the wedding, then tell the truth. Tell them you love me, tell them we've been together for seven years without them knowing, and tell them we've been lying to them. Tell them everything."

I stared at him as I bit my lip. "Why don't you tell them," I challenged.

"If you will let me, I will. I will go right now and tell them."

We looked at each other till I looked away from his sincere gaze. "Look, Kongpob, if you could just—"

"No, P'Arthit. I won't."

I shook my head. "I don't believe you. I don't believe that you would marry someone else."

I really didn't. This person loves me, a lot; he won't give up on me easily.

"It's just like Anya said, right?"

"What?"

"I can still be with you even if I marry her?"

"No, "I shook my head rapidly, "that is a lie, a trick."

"Maybe, but it's better than what we had."

"How?!"

"I don't know! I don't. Know. But I just know that I don't want to live like this anymore. So make your choice. And please, P'Arthit, make the right one."

He left that day and didn't come back the next. I was almost going crazy with worry and only Pete was with me to comfort me, not that his presence did much good.

"P'Arthit, you can't let Kongpob marry Anya so tell his parents the truth"

I knew that. I was pacing in my office and my hands were cold with fear. I have to go to the company today and face Kongpob's father, I have to tell him and it felt like my insides were freezing.

"P'Arthit? P'Arthit oh, P'Arthit karp, P'Arthit, P'Arthit" he was singing with my name so annoyingly but I didn't bother to reprimand him.

"I'm going to speak with Anya one last time," I said.

"But P'Arthit,"

"I know, "I interrupted, "if it doesn't work out I will go to Kongpob's father.

I hurried out of Ocean Electric into hot traffic and I stayed there too long. When I finally got to Anya's neighborhood, it was evening time. Just outside Anya's gate was a girl, I recognized her from that in the pub. One of Anya's friends, or not friends.

I quickly got out of my car and met with her. She had very long hair and was a bit plumb. "Hello, "I said.

She turned and gave me a once over then her eyes transformed into sparkles, "hello, karp," she said.

I smiled," are you one of Anya's friends? I saw you the other night with Anya."

"Oh, yes Karp, my name is Ash."

"I'm Arthit, Anya and I are also friends and she told me very little about you."

"She told me nothing about you, are you her boyfriend karp?"

"n-no. Didn't Anya tell you that she is getting married?"

"What karp!"

Her surprise was expected because I already knew that Anya was a liar.

The two of us went to a place near Anya's house, a small eatery, and we talked.

"Anya has? Wow, I didn't know that. Anya has always been a very serious person, I guess I shouldn't be surprised that she didn't tell us about her wedding."

"She doesn't look all that serious to me, she is very friendly. "

Ash was very friendly with me and open, and I could tell she liked me from the way she was looking at me. We had ordered some snacks and drinks but I let her eat without touching my own food.

"So this person she is marrying, you are saying he is in love with someone else?"

"Yes, he is..." I didn't want to tell her that it was me. "But Anya says she doesn't mind."

"She knows?!"

I don't know what I was hoping to get here, maybe that she would somehow convince Anya not to marry Kongpob, I don't know. But I did want to figure out who Anya is. What she is after.

"Yes, she knows, and she says she is a BL fan so she would let them be together."

"hah?" she shook her head rapidly, "no, no, Anya is not a BL fan?"

"What?" I blinked

"She hates gay, she is always harping at me for liking them. She would even tear my books." She took out a book from her bag and showed me the cover of the two guys standing together.

"But why would she lie about something like that?"

"I don't know," she shook her head and raised her shoulder.

If Anya lied about that, then what else is she lying about? Wait, then she never supported us to begin with.

"Oh by the way, I'm surprised Anya is just marrying anyone. When we were coming back she said she was going to get back her first love. She didn't tell us who it was but she said she has loved him since she was nine. I thought it was strangely sweet for someone like her, karp"

I remembered the conversation when I asked Anya if she has known Kongpob for a long time, she denied it, didn't she. How did she know Kongpob, was Kongpob her first love. What was going on? What is Anya planning?

End note: was the story too fast paced for you. I squeezed two weeks worth of events into one chapter so it might have been. Let me know

Coming next~~ A few hours to the wedding and P'Arthit still was not here. I don't know where he was. I was half tempted to go see him at home. We had quarreled the last time I saw him and he had, like always, failed to understand me. He doesn't hear the words I say to him and I can't seem to be able to get to him.