Chapter Three

I was eating alone at home as Kongpob had called to cancel our plans. He had good reasons, I thought as I chewed my food silently, looking at the screen of the flat screen TV I rarely ever used.

I had stopped by my way home to pick out a movie so Kong didn't have to bother and I thought back to our lunch that afternoon and couldn't help blushing and imagining that we wouldn't be doing much movie watching tonight if the way Kongpob kissed me was anything to judge by.

I think I must have been too hopeful. I glanced at the clock; it was just after eight. Tomorrow was one of those rare weekends that we didn't have to be anywhere too fast and I thought Kong would stay over for those two days and we could be together like we haven't been lately but I guess that wasn't going to happen. Not with Kong needed home.

Feeling like a total cad I couldn't help but blame Kong a bit, did he really have to make plans with his parents at this time? Sometimes it feels like I'm the only one who wants to be together.

Okay that thought was unfair; if I hadn't be so stubborn about keeping our relationship low key, Kong and I would be living together. We would be waking up together and going to sleep together. I wanted that, no matter what Kong thought, I really wanted that.

I got bored with my food and decided to abandon it in the sink, but then I remembered how much of a neat freak my boyfriend can be. He would never let me leave things just lying around whenever he was around. He cleaned up after me, which was so embarrassing I had to start cleaning up after myself to make him stop. I remembered his smile at me. I had been so embarrassed I knocked him on the head for no reason.

My hand started to reach for the plate but then again, I paused, he wasn't here now and I don't know when he is ever going to get the chance to be here.

I walked out of the small kitchen and settled on the bed in front of the TV again. I pulled one of the pillows covered in maroon colored pillow case to my chest and focused on my movie. The heroine was boring and the male lead was stupid.

I wanted badly to complain about them but there was no one to complain to. My eyes looked at the time and what felt like hours had only been twenty minutes. I glanced at my phone just lying there upside down and the urge to use it overcame me.

As I reached for it I told myself it was to make sure he was okay and to see that nothing out of the ordinary was happening. I mean he was having another set up dinner; I was right t be a little worried.

He didn't pick on the first call or the second; my third call was just because I was worried. Worried about what Arthit, that his parents have eaten him? I berated myself but it wasn't enough for me to disconnect the call until he picked.

"Hey my love." I smiled knowing that he was only saying that to tease me. I also knew he must no longer be around his parents and their guest to say that.

"Who is your love, why are you being so careless, "I argued with him just to argue.

"I'm all alone in my room," he told me and I heard rustle like he was removing a piece of clothing.

"How was dinner?" I asked to distract my thoughts.

"Awkward. I don't know why my dad keeps doing this."

"There was a girl wasn't there?"I asked with a sigh of resignation.

"Yes, dad's best friend's daughter. "

I tried not to be too irritated because after all it was only natural for parents to want to set up their children to get them settled down. Kongpob wasn't growing any younger and he was their only son, a well loved one, and they were just looking out for him. But the boyfriend in me was jealous, irritated and wanted to yell at them to leave him alone. But that person was irrational, not to mention delusional.

"Can't you tell them that... I don't know, you are not ready or something," I ended up saying irritably.

Kongpob chuckled, "jealous?"

"What?" I denied it with a laugh and a shake of my head. "I just find it annoying. I don't think parents are that interested in who their son dates the way yours are. That's all."

Kong chuckled quietly, "you are jealous," he whispered. "You know I can just end all of this, we can."

I blinked unseeingly as I pictured what Kong was suggesting, "yeah right, and you think that would go over well."

"Come on Arthit, you know it beats this. The more we keep this a secret the harder it would be to come out."

It wasn't that I didn't know that, I did. And many a time I thought of how good it would be to just let it out and stop tensing up whenever someone started talking about gay people. I wished it was that easy.

In my silence, Kongpob said," P'Arthit, do you know that I want to be there with you right now"

My breath caught with sudden longing. I shook my head," but you can't."

He continued like he had not heard me," when I kissed you this afternoon it was like a well opened up inside of me. A dry, aching well, P'Arthit. I'm so thirsty for you right now."

He was whispering into the phone and my breathing was rising up and I was feeling warmer by the second.

"Kongpob," I warned but I didn't really want him to stop. It wasn't the first time and though I couldn't get used to it my weak heart wouldn't let me cut him off.

"You know, P'Arthit, I have been thinking about you all day, I can't concentrate on anything. I don't know how I'm going to sleep tonight. I want to see you so badly."

I bit my lower lip and shut my eyes as the dull ache in me flared up. "I want to see you too," I sighed at myself.

"I wish you didn't have to go, "I confessed.

"I can still come," my eyes flew open but I tried to control my racing heart.

"n-no Kongpob, you promised to stay over."

I heard him groan then what sound like body falling heavily on something, "P'Arthit," he called me in that way that had me almost drooling. I have to end this call; I was on the verge of begging him to come. I didn't know I was this starved for Kong or I never would have let him leave.

"How," my voice shook, "how are you going to get away?" What was I saying?! My eyes widen at my mistake but I wasn't taking it back.

"I can give any excuse, don't worry about that. " I heard movement and knew he was wearing back his clothes. I shouldn't do this, his mom and his dad they needed him there, he needed to be there but my fingers went to my lips then my hair as I listened to him dress and I didn't say a word.

"I'll call you when I'm close, "he told me and we ended the call.

I sat there feeling like a criminal for that and still not being able to stop it. Plus my heart wouldn't stop pounding. How is it after seven years I still felt this way about Kongpob? This yearning was insane and it wasn't going away, I knew that when three years ago I had tried to fight it.

I pulled away from the depressing memory. To say our seven years together has been peril free would be a big error. It certainly wasn't sunshine and roses and it probably never will be but even then there was no doubt that I loved him. God the extent of that love terrified me sometimes.

I have to say that while I stood by the balcony staring towards the gates for Kongpob's car I thought excessively of how wrong this was and how out of control I was for calling Kong to ride that distance all the way to see me with the risk of disappointing his parents. I knew how important Kong's parents were to him, to me, but I was so ungrateful and so crass I just needed to have Kong with me tonight.

I sighed and glanced at the time on my phone screen. Eleven. It was too late to call him; Kong was probably half way here already. And even if he wasn't...

I glanced at my bed through the glass doors and shook my head. I couldn't do it, after all. I was the worst kind of person.

I heard honking and turned to the gate. There was a car pulling into the compound. I squinted and could make out the red paint of the Toyota Avalon that Kong liked to ride. I folded my lips and watched him step out of the car. He was wearing the same work clothes I saw him on that morning sans the tie.

My eyes must have called him or maybe he was in the habit of glancing at my window; his head lifted and we stared at each other silently for a brief moment where my heart pounded hard in my chest.

In a few moments I saw him walk up the hallway to me. I was holding the door open for him with my back to it and my arms crossed. I guess I was going to grill him a bit about talking me into agreeing to this, but when I saw him my stomach tightened with desire and I couldn't do anything short of pull him into the house.

He smiled at me, "sorry to keep you waiting, "those words sounded formal but his eyes were full of heat.

I stepped back to escape his closeness and he only followed and closed the door behind him. I helplessly stared at him as he trapped me to the wall and stared at my mouth.

"You shouldn't have come," I said pointedly meeting his eyes, "how are you going to explain it. "

"Don't worry about it, "his hands on my chin tingled all the way to my stomach and I warmed even more. "Missed me?"

I sighed and relented myself to this seductive jerk. I was the one who kissed him first. I leaned forward and pressed our lips together and just that was enough to set us on fire and I was no longer shy or hesitant. I kissed his mouth as hard as he kissed mine and hooked my arms around his neck to press us closer. All the hard planes of his body fit into mine and it felt unbelievable. It felt like relief from thirst only to find that the source was very sweet and satisfying and only made you hungrier, thirstier.

I let Kongpob lead us and he took off my shirt expertly over my head without keeping our lips apart for too long. I seriously couldn't bear to stop kissing him, touching him and he was just as frantic to taste me and to touch me everywhere.

I took care of Kong's buttons and ran my hands over his torso and around his back as his mouth deepened with mine till we were gasping for breath.

He maneuvered us to the bed whereas my world and vision was Kongpob. I only paused when I felt cool sheets on my hot back. I spread my legs to quickly accommodate Kongpob and then I was lost.

The next morning I stretched my worn muscles and smiled at the bright blue sky from my balcony then I took out Kong's clothes from the bucket and hung them to dry. I had washed it for him while the guy was still sleeping.

He usually didn't sleep in, not like me, but I had guessed he was tired last night and after we made love he had collapsed and slept off. I wondered how stressful working for his father must be. Normally you would think it would be easier but for someone like Kongpob who always wanted to make a difference in his father's company he tries to work twice as hard.

I walked back into the room and climbed on the bed to watch him sleep. His expression was truly relaxed and he didn't look quite so lecherous. You wouldn't think he was the one riding my body tirelessly and asking for more last night.

My ears warmed and my cheeks prickled as that image came easily to my mind. I began to trace a line down the side of his face to his chin then his lips. I started when his mouth opened and licked the tip of my finger.

"Hey!" I pulled it away and stared at him wide eyed, "if you were awake just say so."

"And miss you trying to molest me?"

"What?" I Slapped his shoulders as he chuckled, eyes still closed. "What are you even saying," I said.

He opened one eye and met my eyes, "blushing as I suspected."

I shook my head with a smile and covered his eyes with my palm, "go back to sleep if you are going to be crude."

He laughed and tried to take my hands away but I stubbornly replaced it with my other hand and he rose up to grab my waist and twist me onto the bed under him.

"Hey, hey, "I complained laughing. He stilled and looked down at me smiling.

"Good morning, "he said. I scoffed at his greeting which wasn't very sincere as I could see the glint in his eyes.

"Don't' even try it, "I pushed at his chest with my hand and blinked at his lustful expression.

"Don't even try what, P'Arthit?" I stared at him, "I only wanted to greet you"

"Fine fine, I have heard now let go."

He pushed down even more, startling me but I refused to take my hands from between us. It was the only thing keeping him away from my lips.

"But you haven't answered back, P'Arthit."

"Good morning, "I said without hesitation, grinning triumphantly.

"You didn't add any endearment, "oh please, I struggled to avoid his lips.

"I said it didn't I?"

"I'm not satisfied." I twisted my face to the left and he attacked my exposed neck, his fingers tugged at my collar and exposed more of my skin to his lips.

"Kongpob!" I cried out when I couldn't get him off. Was he always this strong or was I not putting in enough effort.

"Enough, enough," I conceded defeat to the expert at stealing kisses and he let up to grin down at me. I was panting a little from the effort but he didn't look tired at all and was looking really happy.

"At least go and brush first before you start, "I pretended to concede defeat.

"What about you?"

"I have been up all morning, it's nearly noon now. "
"Oh," he looked at the clock over the bed and seemed surprised.

"Things at the company must be really busy huh," I said vaguely. Kongpob hasn't been talking much about how working for his father was going, it just seemed to not be going as well as he pretended because of how stressed out he was.

His eyes came back to me again, "were you not the one that wore me out P'Arthit?"

I blushed, "yeah right."

"I remember a certain someone tying themselves to me and moaning—"I clamped my hand over his mouth and glared into his smiling eyes.

"Not another word Kongpob," even after all these years I was still in the habit of using what Kong called my hazing voice on him. I guess, as I thought back to the night, that I might have been a little more worked up than usual. Well he couldn't blame me and he was just as worked up too!

"Just go take a bath," I took my hand from his mouth and tried to roll away. He refused to stop pressing me under him.

"Wait, "he said, "Let's talk about how we are going to spend this day."

I gaped at him, "aren't you going back to your parents today?"

He shook his head and I saw something in his eyes that made me suspicious instantly.

I rolled away and he let me go but kept one hand on my arm like he couldn't bear to not have physical contact with me. I let it be in favor of confronting what felt like a problem.

"How did you convince your parents you were coming here," I asked.

"I... didn't"

"What?" I didn't understand what he was saying. "You just up and left?"

"I know what you are going to say but P'Arthit it is not a big deal, it was late in the night, and they had gone to sleep. I left a note too."

He sounded reasonable but I didn't feel like it was the same Kongpob I knew. "You haven't seen them in a long time though. Don't you think they deserve a reason?"

"Well I couldn't give them one!" he exploded in my face so suddenly all I could do was stare at him speechlessly. He avoided my eyes and stayed silent for two seconds.

"I'm sorry P'Arthit," he said. "I didn't mean to snap. I'm going to go take a shower."

I grabbed his arm as he made to get off the bed. He met my eyes and I could see the reluctance in them. He didn't want to talk about this and I didn't either. I felt like we would fight and ruin this day but this was too important to ignore.

"Let's talk about it, Kongpob," I said seriously so he knew that I wasn't going to listen to anything else.