Author's Note: Hey guys! Thanks for voting. I would like to know if any of you have any grievances with the story so far. It has come to my attention that maybe many people don't care for how the story is progressing and while I want to see the story written to the end, I also want to know that there are people who want to see it written to the end as well. So please let me know on the comment.

In the meantime, here is a somewhat long chapter. I hope you enjoy it. don't forget to vote if you like it ; )

Chapter 11

Kongpob and I stared at him together. His presence was overwhelming, even more so after what happened. I had never been truly feared him before, I only saw him as nothing but a arrogant rich man, but now... now I was both afraid of him and very angry.

"Kongpob," he greeted and didn't even look at me even though I was glaring at him.

Before Kongpob could speak I said, "How dare you show up here. You bastard, how dare you." I didn't care that I was being loud and people were looking at us.

"P'Arthit, calm down," Kongpob was looking between us and I could sense his surprise as he knew that I wasn't one to shout at people for no reason let alone Anya's father who has been nothing but a pain to us from the first day I met him.

He fixed dark emotionless eyes on me, "if you are going to talk like this then we better take it elsewhere."

"Why, so that you can keep your reputation clean? So that people wouldn't know you for the scum that you are?"

"P'Arthit, "Kongpob yelled my name, "why are you acting like this?" He turned me to face him, "calm down."
The minute I see his eyes I nearly broke apart with guilt. My eyes filled and my lips trembled. "You don't understand Kongpob. "

"What don't I understand, P'Arthit, what happened to you?" he ran a comforting hand on my arm as I kept struggling to keep my tears from flowing over.

"We should talk elsewhere," Anya's father said and his bodyguard walked forward like he wanted to lead us to someplace else and was ready to force us subtly if possible. I will not be bullied however,

"Don't even touch me," I growled at him and was satisfied to see him pause. "Touch me and you will see how I will drag your reputation through the mud. Try it. I am not afraid of anything that you can do to me, you've already done the worst."

As I thought about it again I began to shiver: The sight of blood spilling all over the asphalt, the honking of the trailer as it sped off, the rush of the road. I bit my lip and lowered my eyes.

"What happened?" the question from Kongpob was directed at Anya's father.

"I can't say anything as long as he remains stubborn," he replied.

Kongpob took my hand in his and I allowed him, too cut up by the memory of his father's accident. I was there, I saw how it happened and it was all my fault.

"P'Arthit? Please, let's not make a scene okay?" I didn't nod after all I would still need to tell Kongpob what happened but for this moment I couldn't find my voice.

Soon we were guided to an empty office. I stood by the door looking away from what was being said. Anya's bodyguard recounted what happened in his own opinion but what happened was this:

As soon as I spotted Anya's father, I wanted to get him alone and show him the evidence of Anya's assault on me. I had pictures and everything.

Kongpob came and took P'Dean from me so I didn't have to make up an excuse about where I was going. I didn't want her to know what I was doing; I thought it would be better if she was a little oblivious.

When I finally walked within reach of Anya's father who had been talking almost pleasantly with a couple, a man with bald head and a mustache appeared in front of me, blocking my path. I tried to step around him but he followed me.

"You can't go near him," he told me.

"I only want to talk," I said.

"That's good, he also wants to talk with you, and the girl."

I glanced at P'Dean who was still dancing with Kongpob. "He will have to talk to me first," I said.

He followed my gaze and then said, "Okay fine. "

I watched him go back and whisper something to Mr Rojhat then he nodded and turned around to me. "This way."

I followed behind him as he led. I thought about his ease moving around the house. He was walking with the easiness of someone who knew everywhere in the house. This was still Kongpob's house but he acted like it was his own.

We walked down the hallway just before the steps and entered a room. I felt a little nervousness enter me when I noticed how dark and lonely it felt, far away from the party. I didn't think they would try to do anything to me; they were just merely trying to make me uncomfortable. This was a room I was familiar with, the drawing room I have sat a few times with the Sutiluck family after dinner.

After connecting the room to that warm memory, I comfortably sat down which earned me a raised eyebrow from the man.

Not long after, Anya's father appeared. "I have to say," he began as I rose to my feet. "I never expected you to be the one to talk to me fist. Interesting."

I looked him up and down in his navy blue suit and that very mysterious scar on his brow. He certainly looked like a man capable of many horrible things but I could not back out now.

"I want to ask you to leave Kongpob and I, and everyone that we love alone. You have no right to do this to us. So I want you to take your daughter and disappear from our lives." It was my simple worded request.

"So it is correct that you two are still together."

"Kongpob doesn't know that I am doing this," I stated. "He is very afraid of what you might do to me. "

"And you are not afraid, is that why you have come here to speak to me this way."

"I think that you are a smart man," I said, "You know I didn't just come here to speak to you."

"Yes, I am guessing you have something to bargain with." He squeezed his mouth together. I pulled out the photos and my statement clearly reporting the attempt on my life made on the appropriate date.

"Your daughter tried to kill me, and I will take her to court if I have to."

He at first looked blank then he reached for the pictures one after the other. I took photos of Anya's abandoned apartment where she had left me in a pool of my blood, and I also showed the statement claiming that Anya did in fact own that apartment at the time.

"I see," he said going over every one of them. "So in exchange for these you want to get back together with Kongpob again without hindrance."

"I understand that your daughter battling a court case of attempted murder wouldn't make you look too good on your run for senator?"

He smiled a bitter kind of smile and pressed two fingers to his forehead, "Anya," he sighed. "Well you are right," he said, "but neither would my daughter's fiancé getting together in an open gay relationship."

I nodded along, "but lets' be honest, which one sounds worse? The world is more accepting of gay relationship today than ever, I doubt it would have that much negative effect on you. "I hoped he would see reason and kept my eyes glued to his shifting expression.

"Perhaps not, but the truth is I don't like gay people. I don't want them around me and I certainly don't want them involved with my name and unfortunately for you, "he began to rip the pictures. "I am aware of Anya's crimes and this will not help you."

I was staring agape at him as he turned everything to pieces, "those are just copies you know," I said when all the pieces have settled around my feet.

"I know. You have someone who would send them to the police if I don't agree right?"

How did he know that? My shoulders went up as he laughed, "How long exactly do you think I have been playing this game? I know all your moves. Before you even make them I have already guessed it."

I stepped back trying not to show fear. "So what, what are you going to do to me?"

"You? Nothing, rest assured, I won't hurt you, or Kongpob." But he would hurt someone. He didn't have to say it, I knew.

"Don't hurt anyone I know because I swear to heaven I will not let you go," I threatened with all the fire in me.

"That young lady you brought with you, she seems to be playing along with your ruse, but is that wise?"

Hearing him say that, I turned quickly for the door, my mind racing to P'Dean. I should check on her, he wasn't just mentioning her for no reason. He could have done something to her before coming to meet me.

He truly was a horrible man. "Then I guess you don't care if I make my move then, if I take your daughter to court?" I said over my shoulder and ran out to check on P'Dean. I walked into the open room and couldn't find her. My heart skipped with worry, if she—if something happens to her because of me what would I do. But then I saw her.

"P'Dean," I called her name and she saw me too. She left the people she had been mingling with and walked to me.

"Arthit, where have you been? I have been looking up and down for you," she complained.

"Are you okay?" I asked her but she gave me a sly green.

"Not as okay as you are going to be," she passed me a piece of paper that made me frown.

"What is it?"

"Read it."

I did and squeezed it in my hand. My plans to get rid of Anya's father fell through but I didn't want to just give up. I am going to use that card after all. Kongpob and I won't hide anymore.

"Thank you P'Dean," I said and turned before she could say anything then I hurried up the stairs. My mind worried over the situation. Kongpob's father was supposed to go to the police with my statement and evidence if I do not call him back in a few minutes, but Anya's father didn't try to do anything. But it was too soon to be relieved. No, I should do what I threatened. I should take Anya to court, that alone will be too big a problem for him to handle. I will call Kongpob's father so that I can take the evidence to the police.

But...

I looked at the door coming closer as I walked. I couldn't miss this opportunity to see Kongpob. My body reacted at just the thought of him. I can't go until I see him, until I touched him. It won't be our last but I don't know why I felt I needed it desperately, so desperately.

Just as I would reach the door he opened it.

After that, I rushed to meet with Kongpob's father. I called him on my way and I got down from the car only to see that he was across the road. He gestured for me to wait there that he would cross to me so that we could drive together to the station. And then... when he began to cross a trailer came out of nowhere and ran him over right in front of me.

The idiot me stood there for a good minute or more, shocked.

"But I did not know that it was your father," Anya's father said and I nearly rushed forward to punch him.

Kongpob was the only thing keeping me from acting like a mad man. I knew he did it, even though I had no evidence. I knew he sent that trailer to run over whoever I was meeting.

I looked away as another bout of tears threatened. I had been so stupid. I rushed out to do what I promised, falling into his trap. This was all my fault, if I had not been so stupid, if I had not gotten Kongpob's father involved. I looked at Kongpob's back from my lashes. How will I ever look him in the eye again?

"So," Kongpob stopped and took a breath, "what happened to my father was you?"

The despicable man was silent but his eyes were shifting. I didn't care if he felt anything about this, I didn't care if he felt remorse, he will pay for this.

"You tried to kill my father?!" his voice raised and the bodyguard stood in his path. We both stood staring at him and he acted like he barely noticed us.

My fingers hurt from clenching so much. I wanted to hurry and hurt him somehow, almost as much as I wanted to hurt myself.

"He didn't do anything," his bodyguard opened his mouth, "you did the two of you."

"what." Kongpob grabbed him by the lapels.

"If you two had not provoked us, if you had just done what you were told—"

"Enough," Anya's father stepped forward. "It has already happened. It was a mistake on my part, now it is time to look over it."

"Look over it," I could not recognize Kongpob's voice. "My father is lying in a hospital bed fighting for his life because of you and you want to look over it."

"I will do everything I can to make sure that he lives, trust me. Your father will not die."

"Go to hell," Kongpob yelled. "Can you listen to yourself, can you hear yourself speak."

"Say what you want, you know that I am not the only one at fault here. "his filtered to me and I looked away. I couldn't face that accusation from him as much as I couldn't take it from myself.

"We have to focus now on the right thing. Even if you want to make me pay for this, you have no proof. I am only here because of my friendship with your father which is very important to me," he moved to walk forward but Kongpob wasn't moving out of the way. "Don't do this Kongpob. You will only make things harder on yourself. I would hate for you to provoke me to take any more drastic actions. "

We stayed silent, only the humming of life in the hospital around us.

"Let's wait to hear how your father is doing then—"

"No," Kongpob interrupted, " I want you gone. Looking at you makes me want to kill you. I don't want to see your face or hear your voice. And you better pray my father lives because even at the cost of everything I will not rest until I destroy you."

He turned and without a glance at me walked out of the room, the door closed with a bang behind him. I didn't follow him even though I wanted to. It felt like he had also said that to me somehow, that he wanted me gone from there.

My head was lowered when I heard Mr Rojhat walk out of the room with his bodyguard not too far behind. When I thought I was alone I slipped to a crouch and fisted my hair. I couldn't stop seeing it, the accident: Kongpob's father's body flying in the air and then falling on the ground with a sickening squash. The sound repeated over and over.

Crouched like that I stayed there for a while but the room started to have visitors so I moved to the stairs and sat there. I heard something ringing and was a bit confused, then I realized it was my phone. I took it out of my pocket and saw P'Dean's name on the screen.

I completely forgot about her. I didn't tell her that I was leaving. Feeling like it was one more thing to feel guilty for I answered.

"Arthit?" I heard her voice sounding calm from the other end. "I have been trying to call you for so long. Where did you go? Something happened at Kongpob's house, I don't know what but the party ended fast."

I sighed, "I'm sorry P'Dean, I can't talk right now."

"Why, what happened? Are you okay?"

I would have lied to her and said that I was fine. She has already done enough for me and I didn't want to trouble her but I felt like I would collapse if I didn't have someone next to me right then. I needed her even though I didn't want to.

"P'Dean are you busy?" I asked.

Soon after our call, P'Dean came to find me. She called me when she got to the waiting area. I was afraid I would run into Kongpob or his mother there so I directed her to come to the stairways.

I nearly sighed out loud when she opened the door. She was no longer in her flashy dinner gown, but in trousers and looked worried. "Arthit..." she eyed my body and I realized since I didn't tell her who was in an accident she thought it was me.

"I am fine P'Dean," I said, "it's not me," my voice broke, "but I wish that it was. It should have been me."

She came over and sat next to me. "Don't say that Arthit, I am glad that it's not you. Why are you saying such a thing? Who was in the accident then?"

I wiped my nose, "Kong's father. I sent him to help me report Anya to the police. Then I called him to wait for me and then he... he..."

"It's okay, don't say it if it is too hard."

I wipe my nose and sniffed. I did my best to keep from crying but little bits of tears slipped out and I wasted no time to wipe it away. "I shouldn't have gotten him involved, I knew that it was dangerous but I was so selfish and so caught up in what I needed and what was important to me. I don't know why I didn't just do it myself. Kongpob would never forgive me. If he dies, he will never forgive me. I can't forgive myself. He can't die, P'Dean." I shook my head and said desperately.

She threw one arm around my shoulder, "I'm sorry, Arthit, he won't die. Okay, he won't die." She drew me to rest on her. P'Dean was nearly my height, I rest my head on her shoulder but I didn't close my eyes. Kongpob's dad was fighting for his life in there; if there is anyone up there who has the power, please let him survive this. He can't die like this.

The door in front of us opened and Kongpob looked in. my eyes met and held his briefly, then I sat up and pretended that I wasn't crying. I stood to my feet and walked towards him.

His eyes moved to P'Dean for a moment too long before he looked at me but barely met my eyes. "He is fine. My dad is fine, the doctors are keeping him under watch to see how the surgery went but it would be fine."

I staggered, the rush of relief nearly sapping the strength from my legs. P'Dean's hand on my back supported me. "Thank you, for telling me," I said. He didn't have to.

Kong did not say anything for a moment then he turned. "You deserved to know," he said to the door and then he left. It was a load off my chest to know that Kongpob's father was still alive and wouldn't die because of me, but was Kongpob's action just now a little cold or was it just my imagination. It was like he didn't want to tell me that, but his sense of decency wouldn't let him, and he couldn't look at me, he avoided my eyes. Did he hate the sight of me now? I knew I deserved it, after all he begged me to do nothing but I went behind his back. I just wish it didn't hurt this bad.

"Are you okay, Arthit?" I turned so that I could see P'Dean's face and nodded. She smiled a little, "I am happy that he is going to be okay. You don't have to feel so guilty anymore, it's not like you caused his accident."

"But I led him to be there, it is as much my fault as if I drove that car over him."

"Arthit."

I shook my head," it's okay, I will learn to live with it." what I can't live with is the thought of Kongpob hating me, never forgiving me. I am so afraid of that.

We stayed there for hours; P'Dean did her best to improve my mood, so hard that I had to pretend for her sake so that she would stop trying to make me lighten up.

"Let's go and get you something to eat," she said and stood to her feet.

"I'm not hungry," I stayed seated.

"Okay, at least let's get out of here, I'm sure it is almost daybreak now, we have been seating here for so long."

I rose to my feet and said, "you can go home, P'Dean, you have to go to work today don't you?"

"So do you." she sighed and said," you can't avoid him forever. Just go out and talk with him."

I shook my head, "it's too soon. I have to wait until his father is at least conscious."

She sighed and then she took my hand and pulled me forward, "okay just walk me out then," she said. I sighed, exasperated, she really just wants me to leave this place.

"Okay," I said, "I will see you out."

As I said goodbye to P'Dean and turned to return to the hospital I caught Kongpob watching. "Kong—"

I thought he would ignore me but he walked over, "is she leaving?"

I turned. It was just that early morning when dew made everything blurry. I couldn't see her anymore. I nodded.

"She stayed the whole night with you," he said.

I nodded, she didn't sleep either.

"That's nice of her. I didn't know your relationship with her was that close."

There was a tone in his voice that made me look at him. He seemed shaken by my stare and looked away and ran a hand over his face. "Why don't you go too, P'Arthit, I know you have work."

"I do but,"

"And there is really no point staying here since the doctors said that my dad is going to sleep for long while."

That could be true but I felt like he was saying he didn't want to see me. I stayed out of his sight for this reason.

"It's fine, I will wait."

"I said you don't have to—"

"I want to. I am staying Kongpob," my stubbornness far outmatched his.

"If it is because you feel guilty, then don't."

I let him have that as I said measurably, keeping watch over my tone so I don't sound angry or annoyed, "I do feel guilty, it's my fault and I won't get angry if you blame me but you know what your father means to me. You know."

I see him wince and closed his eyes. He bit his lip and said, "I don't want to hurt you by saying the wrong things, P'Arthit."

I know that. I am the one putting him in that position. I was being stubborn and making it awkward.

"Do you want me gone that badly?"

He shook his head as if uncertain, "it's not that. We have a lot to talk about. And I don't want to right now, and I also don't want to be forced to think about you but if I know that you are here I would think about you." he sighed sardonically, "even if I you are not I will still think about you but I want to focus on my father, not our problems."

"Kong," I said softly and see him shift away even though I didn't try to reach for him. He didn't want my support, he didn't want to lean on me.

I paused unable to move forward or walk away, my eyes looking away from him at the nurses moving about behind him. "Okay," I said. He needed space so I had to give it to him. He was visibly relieved at my words.

I held back the urge to apologize for everything; once I started it would be a while before I would stop, so I didn't give in and swallowed all the words that were begging to come out of my mouth.

"I will be back in the evening," I said.

"Thank you, P'Arthit." He turned after that and I watched him walk off like he was afraid I would say more.

I turned, unsure of what direction I should take. I could barely make out the road before me through my blurry vision. I scrubbed my face and the wetness away, then I headed for the bus stop. But when I got there and saw the road, the people, heard the honking and the roaring of engines, I couldn't enter the bus. I was seating there while two, three and four buses went by. Finally I got up and walked home.

I was exhausted when I got home so after calling in that I wouldn't be coming for work, I collapsed on the bed and slept off. I had no dreams.

To my relief when I returned with P'Dean in the evening Kongpob's father was awake. His family: Kongpob and his mother, and Anya were inside. He was awake but not talking.

I hesitated at the door.

"Arthit?" P'Dean was standing next to me, a basket of flowers for well wishing in hand and her voice was filled with concern. "It's okay," she smiled and took my hand gently. I lowered my eyes to her slender hand and felt very relieved that she was there with me.

I nodded with a not too forced smile and turned to the door just as it opened. Kongpob stepped out and blinked twice at us.

"P'Arthit, P'Dean?" he looked like we were the last people he was expecting to see.

"Kongpob," I said. "I wanted to come see your father. Is that okay?" I asked as if I wasn't shaking with nerves that he would say no. he would be right to not want me in the same room as his father.

"Of course," he gave me a look then his eyes lowered and he frowned. "He isn't speaking yet so you don't have to talk with him for too long."

Before I could say something in return he walked past me, his back straight and unyielding. Whatever P'Dean saw on my face made her squeeze my hand. I had forgotten she was still holding it. My chest felt tight so I took a breath to ease it.

"I'm fine," I said and pulled my hand from hers. "I'm fine." I don't know who I was trying to reassure.

We walked into the room and eyes turned to us. When Kongpob's mother saw me I expected to hear her tell me to walk out but she just kept looking at me, her eyes dull. I wai to her and stepped further into the room. I didn't even look at Anya, my eyes focused on the man who was also looking at me.

"Sir," I said barely able to hold my emotion in check. He was bandaged around the face so that only his eyes and nose which was covered with an oxygen mask was visible. He looked frighteningly fragile and old.

His eyes only blinked at me. "Please forgive me," I whispered.

"What do you mean," Anya was the one to ask me. I finally looked at her. She stood next to Kongpob's mother who was seating on a chair next to the bed and she looked like she had not gone home. Did she stay all day and all night here, with Kongpob?

I shook that thought from my mind. "It's nothing, "I said.

"Don't tell me that this was your fault, P'Arthit. Don't tell me you did this to father."

My eyes widen involuntarily, I couldn't help it. It felt like someone had turned a big flashlight on me. But I didn't deny or accept it and we stared at each other.

Kongpob's mother let out a sigh. "Don't say that Anya," she said. "How can he be responsible, it was an accident."

"But Kongpob said that he was here even before us. I know for a fact that he left the party before the news came. How did you know that father was here, P'Arthit?"

I found that two eyes were now looking at me with suspicion. My mouth opened and closed. If I admit that this was my fault, I might as well bury the corpse of my relationship with Kongpob's mother because it would never recover.

"What is she talking about, Arthit?" she was asking me and I couldn't keep quiet any longer. I felt P'Dean shifting next to me but she can't help me out of this, besides I owed it to her, to Kongpob's mother, to tell her the truth.

"I... the truth is that I was..."it was still too hard. I don't want to do it, I am scared of losing her along with everything else that was slipping from me. I blinked the away what felt like liquid in my eye. "I didn't mean to, it just..."

"P'Arthit was there when the accident happened mom," Kongpob was back in the room. I turned to see that he was standing in front of the door.

He closed it and walked over to hand carton milk tea to Anya and his mother.

"He was?" she said, "oh," she sighed, "I'm sorry, I feel very tired and I got anxious foolishly. It was an accident Arthit, don't blame yourself. I know you tried to help him when it happened."

I was stunned to hear her speaking to me without hostility.

"Mom, you look tired. Let Anya drive you home." He pulled out his key and gave it to Anya. "Please take my mom home."

"Are you going to be okay on your own," Anya asked. The way she said it was filled with genuine concern. I don't know if I ever doubted Anya's love for Kongpob before this but I was convinced now that she really did and Kongpob...

He nodded," yeah, I will be fine. You stay with her so that she gets some actual sleep and you sleep too."

"no, I'm coming back as soon as I drop her off and make sure that she is okay," she said.

"You can stay and rest for a little, you've been up all night. Come back tomorrow."

"Kongpob,"

They sounded...

"I'm serious, just do what I am telling you okay? "He bent to his mother, "okay mom? Father is going to be just fine, so go home and rest alright."

She nodded and Anya said with a loud sigh, "okay fine," she helped Kongpob's mom to his feet and began to lead her out. "You too get some rest Kongpob."

They sounded just like a married couple. I stood witnessing the whole thing like I was disconnected from my body.

"What was that—"P'Dean started but I caught her hand to keep her from commenting on it. I didn't want to think about that right now and I certainly did not want to hear that her opinion of it was the same as mine. I can't deal with that right now.

Once the room only had us, me, P'Dean and Kongpob in it, I said, "Have you slept Kongpob?" I caught him staring at P'Dean then he looked at me.

"Two or three hours," he said. "I'm fine, don't worry."

"Have you eating," I was worried. "You should eat otherwise you will pass out."

"I am fine, P'Arthit..." the word were clipped as if nearly losing his patience. "Don't worry about me, I said. You have other things to focus on."

What was he talking about? I can't think about anything but this, but him. I never knew how much my world revolved around him until this whole trying experience. I was on the very verge of my patience though; I wanted to start talking about what we needed to talk about, the hole in our relationship that we needed to fix, but not here, not now. I still needed to hold on.

"Okay, I will go buy you something in case you get hungry,"

"P'Arthit."

But I didn't listen to him. I turned to P'Dean, "please stay with him," I said. She nodded and I walked to the door to do what I said. He didn't follow me.

P'Dean nodded, she was really the biggest help so far. After one look I left.

When I returned P'Dean was gone. Kongpob was seated on the chair looking at his father sleep.

"Kongpob, where did P'Dean go?" I asked.

He looked at me. "She said she had something to do." He sounded as cold as ever. I felt like something happened. P'Dean and Kongpob were not in the best of terms but I thought since this was the situation they wouldn't act out at each other. I must have been wrong.

Since I wouldn't get answers from Kongpob, I decided to call P'Dean. The minute I pulled out my phone ready to call her, he said, "what are you doing?" he was actually paying me some attention.

"I just want to speak with P'Dean for a bit," I said.

"Why, you can't stay a moment without her?"

"What?" I tilted my head completely lost.

"Whatever, P'Arthit. Call her if you want to. Or you could just go after her, it hasn't been that long since she walked out. You don't have to stay here with me, since you need her so much."

"What is wrong with you," I asked, lowering my hand. I was amazed at the things he was saying. He sounded like he thought something was going on between me and P'Dean. I suddenly had a play by play vision of how P'Dean and I possibly looked and was stunned.

"Why are you still here P'Arthit, just go already," he wasn't even looking at me.

"Kongpob," I didn't care if I was using my hazing voice. "Let's talk."

He looked at me, eyes going a little wide then he shook his head, "I have to watch over my father, now is not the time."

I knew that but,"I can't wait anymore. We are doing it. Now."

He still refused to budge. I walked to him, took his hand and pulled him with me. He followed without fighting or speaking but he didn't have to say anything for me to sense his resistance. I on the other hand was brimming filled with annoyance and I couldn't help being a little rough and fast as I dragged him along.