Author's note: Hey guys! Sorry for the delayed post. Thank you all for voting and for your nice comments. Alas it has come to that point where writer's block stands in the way. Because of this I won't be posting frequently as much. I hope you all will endure with me until I beat this writer's block. : )

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Chapter 14

I opened the door into P'Arthit's house slowly, trying not to disturb him in case he was asleep. I have been gone at least two hours but I shouldn't have banked on his being asleep. Not after what Anya has done.

He was by the kitchen sipping something in a mug. He looked up when I entered and lowered his mug to study me. I paused at the threshold and stared back. I could almost read his mind. He was going to demand that I tell him everything, which I will. I didn't plan on keeping everything from him I just... we've been so happy, I didn't want him to worry. I know this sound like excuses and he would think the same thing but they are my honest thoughts.

"Are you going to close the door?" he asked. I realized I have been standing there with the door open and stepped in, then shut it quietly behind me.

"Did you take Anya... home?" there was such an inflection on that word that I bit my lip. Anya has been living with me for so long that I have started calling my home hers as well. It is not because I love her or want her, it is because of what we had between us. My secret that I swear every day I will tell P'Arthit, until today when I realized that I had only been stalling and had no real intention of telling him. I can't trust him not break up with me if he knows.

"P'Arthit, it is not what you think," I began stepping forward wanting to close the distance between us.

"I am trying my best not to think anything, Kongpob." He left the mug on the counter and walked to me. I found it hard to meet his sincere and trusting gaze, but he won't let me escape. He caught my cheeks in his hands and held my face to him.

"What's going on? What are you not telling me?" my gaze pinned, I sighed.

"I am sorry, P'Arthit. I didn't mean to keep it from you but I didn't know how you would react."

He nodded as if he understood completely, "okay but I still need to know. Are you going to tell me?"

I nodded amicably. I fisted my hands and released. "Can we seat down first?" I felt like I have been standing for days.

He nodded and gave me enough space to settle down on the sofa that he got really cheap from a garage sale last week.

He sat next to me and I leaned forward to touch his face, this made some of the sternness on it slip away. "You are upset. I'm sorry that Anya came here and said all that."

"Don't apologize for her Kongpob," he said with a thin smile. I paused. "You don't see what I see and hear what I hear but Kongpob..." he broke off. "exactly what kind of relationship do you have with Anya."

"none." The only relationship was the secret a-and the child that she is carrying. I have to appease her to make sure she keeps her mouth shut and I can't deny the child that she is carrying for me. I can't turn my back on it. If he is mine then I will take responsibility, but not as Anya's husband.

"The engagement, did you call it off?"

I have been lying, not out rightly, to P'Arthit. I told him without telling him that the engagement was off. I shook my head in answer, my eyes lowered. I heard him pull in a breath.

"What then?"

"My mother is setting up the wedding. It's next month."

P'Arthit reacted like I knew he would; he got up and tried to keep from screaming at me but then he turned and screamed, "are you kidding me?!"

"I'm sorry P'Arthit—"

He cut me off. "Are you going along with it? If so then you better get out."

"Of course not." I stood up as well so he could feel how much I was fighting against that very thing.

"Then what, Kongpob. Just what are you doing?" I could sense something desperate in P'Arthit's voice. He was going to lose it and start throwing angry words if I don't say something fast.

"I'm doing my best to stop it, of course. You know I am."

"I don't know a damn thing," he ripped his hands through his hair. "What else! What is going on with you and Anya's father?"

That was the thing I didn't want to touch. "He... sent me a letter." I said." He invited us to his house."

"When, why?"

"He wanted to make a deal. I didn't tell you P'Arthit because I don't think we owed that man anything. I wanted to deal with it myself."

I could see P'Arthit struggle with himself, his eyes away from me. "So you went without me. And then?"

"Then he promised to leave us alone. He won't touch you or anyone I love and care about, he won't get in the way of our relationship any longer."

"In exchange for what?"

"That I... that I marry Anya openly."

P'Arthit laughed startling me. "And I will be what, your mistress?"

"No, that's not..."

"Whatever Kongpob. What did you say?"

"I refused, I said I won't do it."

"So that's what Anya meant when she said you were risking your life," he said.

"Her father can't do anything to me."

"No but he can do something to me, to your friends and those around us. How could you keep this from me, are you insane?"

"I didn't want to trouble you and I was scared that—"I barely stopped myself.

"You were scared that what?"

"That you would tell me to do it. I know how you..."

He looked at me like he would either cry or scream and his eyes clouded. I didn't mean to blame him for all the time that he tried to keep us a secret when I begged everyday for us to come out.

"You know I did that to protect you, you understand that right, don't you Kong?"

I nodded and closed the distance between us, and I took his arm." I do and I don't blame you, it was a conditioned response."

"I will never tell you to marry someone else to protect me."

"I will do anything to protect you. I love you so much," I tried to kiss him but he resisted me, turned his face away, but I waited and tried again, pulling him closer till we were breathing the same air.

"Kong," he whispered, I kissed him, pulled back to take in the look in his eyes. He looked hurt, wounded but I will help him heal, I will take all his pain into myself. I never want to be the cause of his pain. If only we could go back to before. I kissed him again, this time he kissed back. I pulled my arms around him and embraced him as we kissed slowly.

He stopped us after a few moments and said, "Kong, what are we going to do. It feels like we are back where we started."

"I will fix it," I tried to kiss him again but he pulled away completely.

"No, I don't like you keeping me out of the loop. I need to know everything that's happening, I need to be able to protect you when I need to. If I don't know anything then I can't do anything."

I nodded, "I will tell you everything from now on," I said, "I won't keep anything away from you, P'Arthit."

He let me hold him back to myself and I could finally breathe a sigh of relief.

"Kongpob, that wedding," he said.

"I know, it won't happen."

"Why would he agree to the wedding anyway when he has refused all this time. And keeping us a secret, really?"

I couldn't claim to understand what Anya's father was thinking. He seemed desperate to keep us under wraps and stayed away from us ever since. I suspected Anya for encouraging and inciting him to do this. So it is Anya I needed to deal with, not only because of the wedding, but because of her pregnancy.

The following days were hell for me.

P'Dean was in an accident; P'Arthit has been acting like a family member, taking care of her. I visited a little but my own father was not yet back at the company and I could barely spare any time.

Anya came to me, "Kongpob."

I was getting ready for work in my room.

"Have you talked to P'Arthit?"

I looked at her through the mirror. She has taken to wearing bulky gowns afraid that the baby bump was visible. "I have, I said."

She folded her arms, "and you are still going to refuse my father's deal? The two of you?"

I didn't have to give her an answer.

"Kongpob, seriously, are you going to keep up with this?" her voice was shrill and desperate.

"Anya," I said," must you really marry me?"

"What?"

"Why are you so obsessed with me? I know you told your father to make this deal with me. It sounds very familiar after all. Isn't it the same deal you told me to make with P'Arthit?"

Her eyes filled with horror. I am right. I smiled and ignored her.

"Kongpob, listen to me, my father may not come after you but if you keep this up, everyone around P'Arthit will get hurt. That woman for instance."

"What?" I turned around. She lifted an eyebrow. P'Dean had been hit by and hit and run exactly the same place I had left Anya that night. "What did you do?"

"Maybe my father has mellowed out after what happened to your father but I haven't. I will not rest until I can be married to the father of my baby."

I grind my teeth together. This is the reason why I cannot even stomach the thought of marrying Anya. How can I bear the thought of tying myself eternally to a woman like this?

"I'm not using her to threaten you though, it is effective I must say, but that night, I thought she heard what we talked about."

I drew another sharp breath. P'Dean knows?" so you tried to kill her?" I nearly yelled."Anya, are you insane?"

"No, I am just desperate, I am tired of having to fight you and lose. I want a win this time. "She looked towards the stair way. " Kongpob, she didn't die though, which means that when she wakes up she is going to tell P'Arthit everything. I know you don't want that."

"What are you saying?"

"I am saying, you can come clean on your own or you can Marry me, and you won't ever have to deal with that truth coming out."

"Marrying you would be worse than P'Arthit finding out. I would rather tell him."

She laughed, "You can't. I know you can't. Instead, you will do everything in your power to make sure P'Arthit never finds out."

She turned and left me there, standing agape.

I have no plan of action. If I tell P'Arthit it is over, but P'Dean will wake up and tell P'Arthit anyway. If I don't tell P'Arthit and listen to Anya, she will kill P'Dean and bury the secret forever. Even if I marry her, P'Arthit won't know about how much I betrayed him, but that would make me an accomplice to an attempted murder. That meant only one thing. I have to tell P'Arthit everything.

P'Arthit and Pete, his work colleague, have taken to visiting P'Dean at the hospital. It's been a week since the accident and P'Dean was still not yet awake.

I stepped into the hospital room P'Dean was occupying and caught Pete looking at P'Arthit strangely; his expression sincere and open. It wasn't a look he wanted anyone to see and it held an emotion that I am familiar with. I looked from him to P'Arthit. Did he like P'Arthit? Didn't he have a boyfriend? Possessiveness stole over me so that when I got to P'Arthit who was looking through a set of books he was planning to read to P'Dean, P'Dean who was on the bed hooked to monitoring machines, a oxygen mask strapped to her face, I wrapped my arms around his waist. He jumped.

"Pete!"

"Pete?" I lifted one eyebrow at him and glanced at the white haired man who was looking at us awkwardly. Had I imagine the look he had been giving P'Arthit then? I don't think so.

"Kongpob," P'Arthit looked at me astonished that I was there. "Why are you here you should be at home resting."

"My boyfriend is here, how can I sleep peacefully at home. I want to spend the whole night freely with you."

He flushed and glanced at Pete then walloped me on the head. "Enough, let go already. Why are you always teasing?"

I rubbed my head pouting. "I wasn't teasing though."

He gave me a soft sort of look that warmed my heart, "did it hurt?" he asked.

"yes, yes," I leaned over," right here." I took his hand to rub the place on my head but I knew he was going to strike me again and avoided him. I see him smile.

"Kongpob, you didn't have to come here."

"I know," I brushed the hair from his face. He looked tired. "You know you don't have to visit every day."

"I know," he said no more. I didn't like his relationship with P'Dean because I knew how she felt about him. If I tell him and he breaks up with me, will it be P'Dean he ends up with or maybe... I glanced behind me at the lanky guy, maybe it would be him.

"Should I stay with you?"

He paused," I am actually leaving, Pete is staying with P'Dean."

"What about her family?" she has been there for a week and no family has come to see her.

"P'Dean's family isn't in the country. They won't be coming," P'Arthit said. I wanted to hug him for having such a good heart. That good heart will bleed if I tell him.

"Okay, I will drive you home," I said.

"Okay," he said. His car was back in working other but P'Arthit left it packed at home.

As we drive back I kept looking for the courage. When the music went quiet I tried to speak, but words couldn't come out. I also tried to speak again when we stopped at traffic, but again I kept quiet. How was I ever going to gain the courage to say this. P'Arthit was also quiet next to me, he looked like his thoughts were on something far away, maybe P'Dean.

When I tell him P'Arthit would be so hurt, he would be so angry, he won't even hear my explanation and would filter my words through anger. I felt tears rise in my throat and blinked hard to drive it away. How was I going to do this when my emotions were running wild; I already can't bear the things that are about to happen.

"Kongpob," he turned and was staring at me.

"P'Arthit," I sniffed and sighed. "What is it?"

He didn't say anything. So I asked, I don't know where the question came from. "If I... marry Anya, P'Arthit, what would you do?"

If I agreed to Anya's father's deal...if I agreed to it then maybe... no. I am so stupid, I shouldn't have asked that.

"I would understand, that you are doing it to protect me," he said without looking at me.

The silence stretched thin. What would you do besides understand?

P'Arthit and I said nothing till we were in front of his house. He was in front of me walking slowly, he must be very tired. He stopped suddenly, his back facing me. He was wearing a blue shirt and grey slacks.

"P'Arthit?" I asked.

He turned and smiled at me. "Kongpob, let's break up."

I thought the world went silent and dark and I couldn't hear anything. Then it blinked into focus and P'Arthit was looking at me. "Kongpob?"

"P'Arthit? Did you say something just now?"

His brows furrowed upward and he nodded, "I said let's break up. Let's end this charade."

"c-charade?" I stepped forward. "What are you talking about?"

"I mean this business with you and Anya and Anya's father. I want out of it. Your relationship with Anya, the reason you treat her... kindly, I don't know what it is but I am fed up, I have had enough."

"Wait, P'Arthit, wait just a minute, I told you it's not like that."

"I don't care what it is like. From the get go it was clear that you are going to marry her, I don't know why it took me this long to see it. I don't know why I put myself through so much unnecessary pain for you. Marry Anya, live happily."

"I won't marry anya," I said loudly and grabbed P'Arthit, "I only love you, you P'Arthit. How can I marry Anya?"

P'Arthit was emotionless and he shoved me off him. "Enough, Kongpob, this is the final road for us."

"Oh, oh I see," I laughed almost hysterically. "This is pay back. You are trying to pay me back for what I did that time. Someone is putting you up to this right?"

He didn't respond and merely looked at me like I had lost my mind, like I was terribly insane. "right, P'Arthit?" my voice was not as confident as I wanted to be.

"Kongpob, don't you see that this relationship has no future?" he asked me.

"What?" I said, my voice barely audible.

"Think about it. if you refuse to marry Anya then what happens, Anya's father kills me, sends me or you to the hospital, maybe someone we care about gets caught in the cross fire. Or maybe he agrees to let us be together then your mother? How do we get her to accept me? I sent your father to the hospital, if she finds out do you think she would want anything to do with me? And that secret, the one you can't tell me, yes that, what is it Kongpob. Will you tell me now? What is it?"

I swallowed and bit my lip. "But even so, even so, P'Arthit, you can't leave me. You can't abandon me."

"I am not abandoning you. I am setting you free, setting us free. Now you can marry Anya or not, it doesn't matter, now I can live in peace and not worry about my life or the life of those I care about."

"P'Arthit," I cried, "how can you do this so easily? Did I mean nothing to you," I stepped forward. "What about the promise you made to me, that you won't ever break up with me, does that mean nothing?"

"yes." I froze and stared at him. "It's this right?" he took the necklace I had given him out of his clothes and held it to my view. Then he tugged on it and it broke. "See, promise has been broken, it is that easy. Nothing was ever met to last forever, the same as this relationship. In fact, I think this relationship ended on your wedding day. I wish I never went there to stop you. I wish I had let you marry. Now you go and marry Anya. Please don't look for me again."

He turned and started for his door. I grabbed his arm and held him in place. "I don't believe you, P'Arthit. You love me, you do. This is a joke right?" I tried to smile to provoke him to smile back.

But he took my hand off his arm and pressed the necklace into my hand. "I'm sorry Kongpob. I wish this was a joke or a plan, like we did before." He shook his head, "that was another stupid mistake. When you ended things with me at the hospital, I should have accepted it and moved on, but it's not too late. Goodbye Kongpob."

"No," I let the necklace fall from my hand, "no P'Arthit, I won't let you do this. Please, listen to me." I reached for him again but this time someone grabbed my hand. It was a pale hand. I followed it and found Pete.

"I'm glad I came," he said.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Please stop pestering P'Arthit, Kongpob, he has already told you all that he wanted to say."

"Shut up," I snapped, "who are you interfere."

P'Arthit ignored me, "Pete, why did you come."

"I just felt like seeing your face P'Arthit, also P'Ruth came to take over from me."

P'Arthit nodded.

I pulled my hand from Pete's. "P'Arthit, Please don't ignore me," I said feeling like I could cry but finding no tears.

"P'Arthit do you want to go out?" Pete asked, "It's so noisy around here?"

"Sure," he turned and I tried to hold on to him but Pete, the interfering idiot stood in my way.

"Come on Kongpob, no is no. stop embarrassing yourself." He said that then with P'Arthit in front the two of them walked back to the lift. P'Arthit didn't glance back at me once.