CHAPTER TWENTY
❝ our downfall ❞

     HAYDEN STANDS OUTSIDE of Paul Lahote's doorway, her arms crossed over her chest and an expectant look on her face. There was something unfamiliar sweeping through her veins, and she hated it— but that didn't mean it would just go away. Her mind was solely on Paul, and she thought about all of the things she could say to him, then all of the things she should. With her teeth gritted, she stares at the doorway, hugging her cardigan a little closer to her chest as a nightly wind sends chills up her spine.

As Paul opens the door and finds himself staring into her warm, honey eyes, he hesitates— there wasn't a smile on her face like there normally was, nor was there a look of playfulness as her eyes slightly narrow at him. He didn't like that look; it meant nothing good was coming, and he never wanted to see Hayden Marris glaring at him as if he were a criminal. He wondered what her sudden appearance was all about, raising a questioning eyebrow at the girl.

After the dinner with her family, Hayden had caught Jacob outside and demanded that he give her Paul's address so that she could speak to him on her own terms. She needed to hear him say the things Jacob had told her— or else there was no reason in believing it. But at the same time, she was so utterly terrified to hear the words leave his lips. It would mean she would have to rethink everything, and she was sure there would be no turning back now . . . right?

"Tell me he was lying," Hayden's voice comes out soft, despite her urge to do something drastic like yell, or just leave him standing there dazed and confused without another word. "Tell me that if you felt something, anything for me, you'd tell me because that's something important that friends are supposed to share with each other."

Paul swallows, biting his lip as his eyes find the ground. So this was what she had been upset about— and had every reason to be. From the second he met her, he knew that it would cause problems along the way. And when Emmett Cullen came into her life out of nowhere, Paul felt like his life was going to fall apart. But, after all, he had many questions about this himself; why didn't Hayden feel the pull like he did? Why did she fall into the arms of Emmett instead of him? Why couldn't things have been different?

His chest hurt at the sight of her, exasperated in the cold air, and upset with him. He wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and tell her that things would be okay in the end; but he also understood that he couldn't.

"I need to explain," he holds up his hands, hoping it wouldn't anger her more. "I didn't plan on telling you anytime soon, but—"

Hayden snorts, throwing her arms in the air in exasperation.

"So you're okay with Jacob coming over to my house, and spouting to my family that you've felt so much more for me than you've cared to admit? I looked like an idiot sitting in front of my parents and telling them about the boy I've been falling for, all the while Jacob Black blurts out anything he can think of to make sure you're on good graces with them." Hayden wasn't sure where her sudden burst of distress was coming from— maybe it was all pent-up from the things she had been through recently. His words stung, as if she'd been slapped; he should've had the intentions of telling her.

Didn't she deserve to know?

She hated taking her grievances out on Paul, but was hurt at the same time— why hadn't he said anything to her? They were supposed to be best friends, yet he was okay with keeping a secret like this? The Marris girl tried to calm herself down, knowing she was overreacting about the whole situation. But at the same time, she wanted to sit down on his doorstep and cry until she couldn't anymore. Her heart burned like it was on fire, aching for a boy that was too far away from her to seek.

"I just need for you to tell me," she places her hand on her chest, tears finally falling from her eyes. "Tell me everything— no more secrets between us, Paul. Please."

But Paul did have reason to keep it from her— to shield her from his world that would be forever damning. The Lahote boy wanted to protect her from anything and everything, and he believed that secrets were the way to do it.

"Come inside," he says gently, reaching out to place a hand on the small of her back and lead her into his home. "My parents aren't home, so we can talk for as long as you'd like."

Hayden relaxed at his warm touch that might as well have burned through the back of her blouse. She steps inside, taking in the sight. It was a cozy home; one that she'd wish to have in the future. It should've had a picket fence outside, seeing as how beautifully simple it was. Framed pictures of Paul were spread out on the walls, along with a few paintings, and a family portrait on a canvas that rested just above the mantle. Her wedges clicked against the hardwood flooring as she moved over to the large sofa, taking a seat on the cushion and releasing a deep breath.

She focused on something other than the torment that ached in the back of her mind, giving all of her attention to the smell of fresh gingerbread and pumpkin from a candle lit on the coffee table. As Paul takes a seat beside her, she turns to face him.

"Can I have that explanation now?" She asks, her voice small as it quivers. Hayden didn't want to cry anymore, wiping the already shed tears from her flushed cheeks. "I'd really appreciate it."

"There are so many things in this world that most people will never fully understand," he begins, his eyes finding hers. "And from the start, I never wanted you to find out about any of them— the indescribable things that we don't think could exist, and bonds that you couldn't possibly feel unless you're suddenly pulled into it. I never wanted any of that for you, and somehow I thought that by hiding the truth from you, or lying, or keeping secrets would protect you from a harsh life where pure souls like you don't belong. You're so perfect and fragile, Hayden, and I knew something like this would break you."

"Something like what?" The brunette questions. "What are you talking about, Paul?"

He sighs carefully, running a hand through his cropped hair. "What I'm about to tell you will sound crazy, and I'm sure you won't believe me at first. But you have to promise me that you won't laugh, or get frightened, and you won't hate me for it."

"I couldn't possibly hate you, Paul, no matter how aggravated I am at you right now," she chuckles, placing a comforting hand on his arm. "Just tell me, I won't run off."

"Okay, here goes nothing," he mutters. "I'm a shapeshifter, Hayden."

"A shapeshifter?" Hayden raises an eyebrow. "Like a werewolf?"

"Sort of, yeah. I shift on command, and my senses are all heightened; even when I'm in human form. That's why I can hear and smell like no other," he clears his throat, glancing down at her hand on his arm, "and why my skin is so hot all the time."

He was aware of the tingling sensation that drifted up his arm, and sent shock waves through his body. Paul had learned how to deal with it, as he had plenty of practice starting with the day he had first met her. But that didn't make it any easier to handle. All he wanted was for her to be his, to recognize his longing.

"I don't know what to say . . . " she trails off, becoming flustered as she tries to process the words leaving his lips. There was no real explanation as to why he'd lie about something like this, especially when he had her full trust and attention. And at the same time, everything lined up like puzzle pieces. "Are you the only werew—shapeshifter?"

"No, all of my friends are too," he shakes his head, giving her a smile. She hadn't freaked out yet, and that counted for something. "Jacob, Sam, Jared . . . everyone you met while we were at La Push."

Jacob was a shapeshifter. And suddenly she understood— the day Jacob had randomly showed up at her house with the request to see Bella, Hayden had saw a large wolf outside only moments after she had closed the door. It all made sense, but her mind didn't want her to believe it.

"This is just crazy," she voices her thoughts, running a hand down the side of her face. "Things like this are supposed to happen in fairytales, not real life."

Paul places his hand on hers, chewing on the inside of his cheek. "There's more, but I'm afraid you'll get overwhelmed if I tell you everything at once. Bella did have her information spread out, so maybe you should too."

"Wait, Bella knows too?"

"She does. But almost no other human knows about us, so keep it on the down-low." Staring into her eyes, he almost manages to get lost in them, even though he didn't want to get used to the feeling of her hand in his.

"Well, I want to know everything right now," she hesitates. "I think it'd be better for me to go ahead and get all of the shock out of the way, while I'm still listening and believing that fairytales exist."

"The Cullens, even that Emmett guy you think you know so well— they're vampires. Decent ones, but bloodsuckers all the same. I figured he'd be the one to tell you that, but you deserve to know if we're getting this out of the way."

"You're kidding me, right?" Hayden is rigid and still, just before her hands begin to shake. "Is there anything else that you could possibly have to tell me?"

"You're Emmett's blood-singer," Paul pauses, gaging her reaction, "and I imprinted on you."

"I have no idea what either of those mean, Paul, but—"

"It means that you have two soulmates," he grimaces at the sound of the truth coming from his lips. "And I'm one of them."

She almost started crying again, her voice cracking as she speaks up.

"Of course that's what it means."

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