"ready runner"
by momma

" oh, kiss her in the morning
...
ready when you are
ready when you are
ready when you are
ready when you are
...
what charm makes her head float higher?
...
don't go running
don't go running
don't go running
(ready when you are) "

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

"into you like a train"
season 2, episode 6

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

the aftermath of the train crash had left eleanor an emotional wreck.

she was doing better than those in the literal wreck, but still, she was a mess.

bonnie's death had really gotten to her.

the whole situation just really sucked.

it sucked.

that was the best choice of words she could think of.

watching them pull her off the pole and toss her aside like she was trash, sucked.

begging to help save her life with meredith, only to be told she was too far gone and to give up, sucked.

watching her die while nobody was fighting to save her life, sucked.

and seeing the look on her fiance's face as derek told him the news, sucked.

this feeling that lingered in her chest, sucked.

it all just really fucking sucked.

not to mention that her stupid older brother didn't sign the goddamn divorce papers.

so now, not only was her best friend totally heartbroken but the heartbreaking was done by eleanor's own brother.

and it seemed like satan would be sticking around seattle for a while now.

which didn't just mean she was going to have to see her face every day, but that she was going to have to be civil and get used to working with her too.

on top of all of that, alex was being dodgy and douchy again so that's great.

all of it was just really fucking great.

"hey." alex spoke.

"jesus christ!" eleanor jumped. "you scared the shit out of me." she sniffled, wiping her nose and eyes.

"what are you doing out here? it's freezing." he asked her, taking a seat next to her on the bench.

"just... getting some air." she told.

"you okay?" he asked.

she turned her head to face him and stared, "do i look okay?" she asked.

"no... that's why i asked. what's goin' on?" he asked her.

"you ever feel like the whole world is crumbling in front of you and it's your job to fix it, but there is literally nothing you can do to help?" 

"i mean, not really, no." he shook his head.

"well that's how i feel, like all the time." she laughed sadly.

"you know, it's not your job to fix everyone else's problems, elle." he told her.

"it's my job to save lives and i can't even do that." she cried.

"this about that girl?" he asked her.

"bonnie. her name is--was--bonnie." she corrected. "and no, yes, i don't fucking know, okay, alex? i don't know. i don't know what to do about my brother or meredith or my sister-in-law, satan... and i don't know what the fuck to do about you." she vented.

"what do you mean about me?" he asked.

"i don't know, alex, you tell me. because, for the love of god, i can't seem to figure out what it is about you. one minute we're smiling and cracking jokes, and the next you won't even look at me. one day you're the nicest person i know, and the next you're distant and cold. so please, tell me, what the hell should i do about you? because i've got a lot of shit to deal with, and if you're just going to be another problem, then i don't want this." she told him.

"i've got stuff." he spoke.

"what?" she scoffed in confusion.

"you said, the other day that you've got stuff, yeah? well i've got stuff too. but i like you, elle, i really do. i don't want to be another problem for you, okay? and if you've got too much going on right now, i get that. I'll wait and I'll be ready when you are." he said to her with confidence.

(alex had gotten his mojo back)

"you'll wait? until i'm ready?" she asked him, surprised.

"yeah. I'll wait." he assured.

★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ

"not a runner"
by momma

" i forgot that i'm just not
a skin soft sucker
loves you if you fuck her
'cause i can't assume projections of doom
i'd put you in a gutter
but i'm just not a runner
he laughs like it's cool
i'm belly full of gadgets and things
got tricks up my sleeve
...
you forgot that i'm just not
a big break cutter
sharp like the others
but i'm no fool
i'm haunted by you
did i fucking stutter?
i told you i'm not a runner
i paid the cost of his slow thoughts
i don't hide away hunger
i get that shit covered
and i hate to stay i can't escape
a straight-up sick sender
he pulls and he bends her
but i'm not phased
and either way
i like acrobatics
for you i'm an addict

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

"something to talk about"

season 2, episode 7

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

"alex karev, just the intern i wanted to see." derek said rather schemingly as they exited the patient's room.

"really? "alex asked surprised.

"yes, actually." he confirmed. "it surprised me too, you know?"

"oh."

"'oh' is right." derek smiled in that scary older brother way.

"so this is about eleanor... i assume?" alex asked cautiously.

"what would make you think that?" derek asked him, with improvised confusion. "i want you to take nicole with you everywhere today. take her to labs, take her to coffee, take her anywhere. just get her away from her parents."

"you want me to babysit the wheelchair chick?" alex asked.

"nicole." derek corrected. "she thinks you're cute. so does my sister, apparently. personally, i don't see the appeal. but she's a teenager, which means she might even listen to you of all people." derek told him.

"you want me to convince her to get that surgery."

"i want you to convince her to make the decision for herself." derek said.

"and how am i supposed to do that?" alex asked, frustrated.

"dr. karev, you're creative. you'll think of something. i mean hey, you got nellie to like you. i mean seriously, that... well i'm not sure how you pulled that one off." derek chuckled in disbelief.

"hi." nicole said as alex wheeled her into a spot at the table where the rest of the interns were seated. "i'm alex's charity case." 

"oh, well i like you already." eleanor smiled, first at nicole, then at alex, then back to nicole. "you on my brother's service?" eleanor asked alex.

"yeah." he answered with dread.

"he's not being psycho, is he?" she asked.

"depends on what you call psycho, all i know is that it's weird." alex shook his head.

"sorry."  eleanor said with an apologetic smile. "good luck, i gotta go but I'll talk to you later, yeah?" eleanor said quieter to alex.

"yeah, I'll uh, I'll see you later." he said.

"who was that?" nicole asked.

"one of the other interns, doctor shepherd's sister." alex answered vaguely.

"huh." nicole nodded.

"is that girl--doctor shepherd's sister-- is she your girlfriend?" nicole asked alex who was trying to study in the tunnels.

"no. i don't know." he answered.

"do you want her to be your girlfriend?" she asked.

"i mean, yeah, of course i do, but it's more complicated than that." he said.

"how is it complicated?"

"well, right now she's not ready for a relationship," he told. "and besides, even if she was i'm not totally sure she should even be with me. i mean, i'm a piece of shit and she's like... freakin' perfect." he explained.

"i might be a homeschooled, wheelchair-using, 18-year-old, who has never even had a boyfriend, but i'm not an idiot. trust me, that girl does not think that you're a piece of shit."

"alex, would you kiss me?" nicole asked. 

"wh--what?" he laughed nervously.

"i know you're a doctor, i'm you're patient, it's against the rules, and you really like that girl, but i would never tell anyone." she said.

alex chuckled and looked around, then got up close to nicole's face, "for a kiss to be really good, you want it to mean something. you want it to be with someone you can't get out of your head, and you want to be ready for it. it should feel natural, you shouldn't force it, especially if you aren't ready. you can't cheat your first kiss, nicole. trust me, you don't want to, 'cause when you find that right person, the first kiss... it's everything."

"you did good work today, alex." derek told him.

"thank you, dr. shepherd." he thanked.

"look, i don't know what's going on with my sister and you..." he started. "look, it's not my place to say, so i'm not going to but eleanor was hurt pretty bad in the past. there wasn't anything i could do back then, but just know, if you hurt her, karev, i will make your life a living hell. she told me not to go psycho-older-brother on you so that's the only time i'm gonna say that, but just know that i mean it." derek threatened.

"yes sir, i understand." alex nodded.

"good."

"to be clear... right now there isn't anything going on between eleanor and i." alex told him.

"why not?" derek asked, not looking up from his charts.

"she's just stressed right now, i don't think she's ready for a relationship right now." alex told.

"stressed about what?" derek asked with a furrowed expression.

"well, sir, to be quite frank... you." alex admitted. "she seems to think it's her job to deal with all of your marriage and girlfriend problems.  i tried to tell her, y'know, it's not on her, but she... well she disagrees."

"huh, yeah." derek hummed. "growing up-- she's the youngest sister, i'm thirteen years older than her-- but uh, she's always been very smart, from a very young age. i mean all of us are doctors, all six of us, but eleanor she was... she was just beyond us." he started, "anyway, being so smart and so young, my sisters would kind of use her as their personal therapist starting when she was only just 10-years-old. she never really had many friends--she had skipped a few grades, so she was a couple of years younger than everyone else-- her best friend, was our sister, amelia. she's only a few years older so they got along well growing up, but still, none of amelia's friends wanted to hang out with some baby... but uh, they would all tell her their secrets and ask for advice because they figured, 'who was she going to tell?'.  i think that kind of left the impression that it was her job to fix everyone else's problems and neglect her own." derek explained.

"oh, i never knew that." alex said.

"how would you? i mean she would probably never tell you that... she probably doesn't even realize that's where it stemmed from herself." derek shrugged. "my point is, don't let that hold you back. don't push her hard--if you do that we're gonna have problems--but give her a little nudge, tell her to think about herself and what she wants for once. i think that she's ready, i really do." he told him.

"yeah?" alex asked, optimistically.

"yeah." derek nodded with a smile.

with that, derek watched as alex nearly sprinted to go find her.

young love, he thought

i'm gonna kill that motherfucker if he ever hurts her.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

alex had found her in the locker room, she had already changed back into her clothes and was almost ready to leave.

"hey." he spoke up.

"oh, hey, you." she smiled. "derek didn't give you too much trouble, did he?" she asked.

"no, it was fine... actually, it was good, i think." he told her.

"yeah? that's good, i'm glad."

"look, i'm gonna say something. i don't want you to brush it off, or tell me i'm wrong because i'm not... so just listen, alright, please." he said.

"i mean you're making me a little nervous, but sure, fine, what is it?" she asked.

"if you aren't ready for this relationship because of your own reasons, that's fine, and I'll respect that. but if the only reason you're holding back is because of mcdreamy's love triangle of doom, please don't let that be the reason you won't let this happen. because i know you like me, and i like you, and it's not your freakin' job to mediate your brother's relationships. just think of yourself for once, be selfish, do what's best for you. not for derek, meredith, or even me. do what you want to do. that's all i ask." he insisted.

"what i want to do?" she asked him.

"yeah, eleanor, what you want. not anybody else." he repeated.

"well i guess i've been thinking about doing this for awhile..."

"doing what?" he asked.

she walked forward a few steps, leaving only a couple inches between them. she looked up into his eyes, then down at his lips before she reached her arms around his neck and kissed him.

although eleanor had her first kiss a long time ago, she could've sworn it was right there in that moment.

because this time it actually felt right. 

it was slow and tender.

and she was ready this time.

it was real, and she was ready for it.

"that." she answered as she pulled away. "i've been thinking about doing that." she smiled. "goodnight, alex. I'll see you tomorrow." she said, grabbing her purse, planting a kiss on his cheek, and walking out the door of the locker room.

authors note:

IT'S HAPPENING EVERYONE BE CALM IT'S HAPPENING!!!!! 

first elex/aleanor kiss (which ship name do we like best btw???)

i had so much fun with the derek/alex interactions

and we learn a little more about eleanor's past!

i'm so excited 

enjoy it while it lasts bc things go south pretty fast 😭 my bad.

i'm not gonna be writing as much of the cases anymore cuz i find it boring lol

hope u enjoyed! bye! 

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