"touch tank"
by quinnie

" i used to dive deep 'til i got splashed in the face

he's so pretty when he goes down on me
gold-skinned eager baby, blue shirt out the laundry
he tells me he's gentle when he wants to be
so i think he wants to be gentle with me

you took my breath away
so now i can't suck in my stomach around you anymore "

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

"grandma got run over by a reindeer"
season 2, episode 12

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

eleanor had been working with derek on mr. epstein's case that day. all those little kids running around and singing reminded eleanor of christmas back home. though she wasn't sure if new york was 'home' anymore. at first, seattle was just the place she was for the time being, but now, it held a sense of permanence. she no longer thought about when she'd be going back to new york, she didn't think about leaving seattle at all. it had become her home.

on another note, her literal home had become overrun with christmas decorations. meredith and george hated it, but secretly, eleanor didn't mind so much. it did make her miss her family, or at least what her family used to be before things changed.

there was something going on with derek, too. she couldn't tell if he missed new york too, or if it was something else. derek used to love christmas, but now, he just seemed down. maybe he was just upset with addison, god knows eleanor could attest to that.

she was catching up on labs when she saw derek walking down the hall.

"hey, der! wait up." she said running after him.

"yeah, what do you need, eleanor?" he asked. it wasn't rude or sarcastic, it was just cold. derek wasn't a cold guy, not to eleanor at least.

"what's going on with you? and don't say nothing because we both know that's a lie."

"honest?" he asked her.

"honest." she nodded.

"and you won't tell addie?"

"what kind of question is that? of course i'm not going to tell addie." eleanor rolled her eyes.

"i miss meredith. plain and simple. the holidays are meant to be spent with the people you love, and i, well i still love her." he admitted.

"then why did you stay with addie? c'mon, derek, if you love her, be with her."

"it's not that simple, nellie, you know that."

"no, i don't enlighten me, please."

"we've been together for eleven years, she's as much my family as you are."

"that is insulting." eleanor scoffed.

"okay, not as much as you, but you get the point."

"yeah, she's your wife, she's your family. but she also fucked your best friend, derek. you know who didn't fuck your best friend? meredith? you know who loves you? meredith. you know who you love? oh right, it's meredith. addie is my family too, she was for a long time, but she broke my trust. ]i've only known meredith for as long as you have and she's become more my family than addison was in just this short time. i'm just saying, der, time doesn't mean anything if you aren't happy." eleanor shrugged as she walked away.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

in between surgeries, eleanor was going down to the tunnels when she found alex examining george in the tunnels.

"what's going on, are you sick? if you're sick you shouldn't be getting checked out in the tunnels." eleanor asked.

"no, i'm just helping alex study." george said, which got a slight jab from george. "ow, what?" george groaned. alex looked at him with wide eyes. "you didn't tell your girlfriend?" george asked.

"tell his girlfriend what exactly?" eleanor asked impatiently.

"he fai-" george started.

"i failed my practical. i retake it tomorrow." alex told her, annoyed.

"what? why wouldn't you tell me that? i could've been helping you study for weeks now." eleanor rambled.

"well i mean, it's pretty embarrassing, elle. i can see why he wouldn't tell you." george chuckled.

"george, leave." eleanor scoffed. "seriously, alex, why wouldn't you tell me?"

"for this exact reason." he shook his head.

"what reason?" 

"this. the whole pity look and offering to help me study. you're the smartest girl i know and i don't want you looking at me like i'm some idiot that needs your help. george is right, okay? it's embarrassing. you're freakin' mcperfect and i failed my boards, how's that for a pair?"

"okay, alex, i don't think you're an idiot and i'm not pitying you. but put your ego aside for a sec and see how maybe i could've helped. this is serious, like if you don't pass then you're screwed-"

"you think i don't know that?"

"no, i think you do and that's why i don't understand why you didn't tell me. if you get to tell me to put my fears aside so i don't get in my own way, i'm going to tell you to put your ego aside when you're getting in your own way."

he only nodded in response, and he looked at her the way a dog does when it has chewed up your favorite shoes or pissed on the new rug.

"after our shifts are over, we're going to your place and we're studying until you can't take it anymore, got it?" she smiled.

"yes, ma'am." he smiled back.

"you're an idiot, alex karev." she laughed.

"yeah, i am, aren't i?"

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

"hey," eleanor smiled at alex in the lobby.

"hey, how's mr. epstein?" alex asked.

"he's good, back to his normal self."

"that's good."

"yeah, it is." eleanor nodded. "you ready to get your study on?"

"oh i'm so ready." he said sarcastically.

"it's gonna be good, i have an undefeated study method."

"i don't doubt that." 

"well good, you shouldn't. but we should get going, plus, i've never been to your place before so this should be fun."

"fun would be one way to put this whole night. besides, my place is a dump so don't get too excited." he told her.

"it could be a box on the street, i don't care, it's yours so i'm happy to see it."

"well then, i guess we should get going, huh?"

the pair walked out to alex's car and drove to his place. he was living in a one-bedroom apartment in capitol hill, and alex wasn't lying, it was kind of a dump. but he was a boy, and that didn't phase her.

"i like it, it's homey."

"don't lie, it's patronizing." he sighed.

"okay, fine, it's a mess. but i don't care, seriously. let's just study, okay?"

and they did. alex could've sworn that he'd be prepared for anything after that. literally, i mean not only did he have it all drilled into his brain but he had also watched his girlfriend portray a senile old women and a prepubescent boy within the same 15 minutes.

"hey remember when you said we'd study until i couldn't take it anymore? well i'm sort of reaching that point." alex chuckled.

"okay, okay. just one more, alright? then we'll be done." she told him.

"fine." he sighed. "what's wrong?" he asked eleanor, the patient.

"well, my boyfriend is all stressed out because he has this big test he has to study for, and while i was helping him i noticed i was a little tense too."

"oh yeah? can you show me where this tension is?"

eleanor smirked and grabbed his hand, "well it's kind of all over." she said, placing his hand on her thigh. "like here, and here, and here." she continued as she slowly moved his hand up to her waist. "but you know, i read somewhere that if you kiss it, it'll make it better." she smiled, leaning in to kiss him.

"you did?" he smiled back.

"i did." she said, kissing him again. "alex, i think that i'm ready. i don't know what i was so worried about." she told him in between kisses.

"i told you so." he mumbled into her neck. "but you're sure you want to do this?" he stopped and asked. "because if you aren't, it's okay."

"i am and i do. i want to, alex."

"good, i do too." he chuckled and leaned back in and began kissing her again.

authors note,,,,

one thing led to another anddddd... you get the point there lol.

double update today bc i know these chapters were short oops

one again!! i do not write smut!! sorry not sorry, i don't enjoy it!

also the chapter transition to we'll never have sex to touch tank
is so important to me lol it's too good. ok bye bye, enjoy. love u!