The not-to-so funeral, funeral, is mostly a blur. For obvious reasons, the casket was closed the whole time. To Sam, it didn't matter. She saw him. She saw him before and she saw him after. His mangled face stares back at her in the mirror. She didn't need to see him like that again.

Bruce has the funeral within a day and a half, not informing any of the Titans or anyone. Molly only came because Sam knew and she came time to get there. Sam wants to fight and scream about it but at this point, she's too exhausted. And she is so numb. And in pain, she's numb and in pain which doesn't make any sense but everything hurts while she feels nothing at all. It's like drowning but without the panic.

Her head throbs and that's always the start. Pressure builds as she tries to hold her breath because letting in the loss of Jason seems to be the worst possible thing she could ever do. With every breath she takes, that's less he got to take. Her head bangs and throbs, wailing for her to breathe and let the pain in for just a second. And once she does, it's water rushing into her lungs with a single gasp.

Drowning is suffocating and agonizing. It's as if her lungs are being stabbed over and over with tiny needles with every breath she tries to take. Her lungs are filled with cement and stabbing, weighing her down with every desperate gasp. The water sloshes around, seeping into all of her open nerves with striking electricity. It's the worst pain of her entire life.

She doesn't care anymore. It's hard and it's like these are the longest days of her life. There's just pain and numbness and anger. That's all there is now. So, she only comes out of her room for the bathroom and to watch Jason's casket be lowered into the ground. She doesn't leave her bed or say a word to Bruce for the first two days.

By day three, some of the sadness and exhaustion has manifested into more anger. It's all anger at the world and Bruce and the Joker and herself. She's even, selfishly, a little bit mad at Jason even though she doesn't want to be. But, the anger builds until she can't sit still anymore and she sets a plan into action.

She warned Bruce. She told him the Joker's death was inevitable. She'd do it if the Joker ever touched someone she cared about, if he ever touched Jason. Jason is dead and as far as she's concerned, her loyalty to Bruce and his morals died with him. So, she starts a plan to break into Arkham and kill him herself.

She waits until Bruce is asleep before she sneaks into the Batcave and starts her research. The Joker doesn't get to just get away this time. He killed her mom. And now he killed Jason. She's fed the fuck up with Bruce letting him off. So, she plans and plots and looks at blueprints of Arkham, trying to figure out how she can get in, kill him, and get out. Jason always told her the grudges might help, something she find odd given him not being a grudge holder. But, being mad and wanting revenge against the Joker, is a lot better than dealing with the pain of losing him. So, she plans and plans until the late morning.

Dick and Gar show up that afternoon from San Francisco. Bruce told them Sam hasn't left her room or eaten anything since Jason died. Dick is the one that tries to get to her first, figuring maybe he can break a little bit of the ice like when he brought her back to the tower.

He knocks on her door despite Bruce saying she won't answer or come out. But Dick tries anyway and when he doesn't get an answer, he opens the door anyway. She was once in his care. Jason was once in his care.

"Hey, Sam, you awake?" Dick asks, sticking his hands in his pockets as her back is faced away from him, laying on her side in one of Jason's favorite hoodies.

Sam ignores him, keeping her stare at the wall. Talking seems like it will be too much. It'll be him saying he's sorry for her loss and then she'll start crying again. It'll be him giving her a look and she hates getting looks. It's not Dick's fault. She's not mad at him, she can't afford to waste her energy being mad at him when it's already torn between grief-filled revenge and sobbing uncontrollably. The best thing she can do for herself is ignore him. To ignore everyone. It's to push them away.

"Bruce said you haven't been eating or leaving your room." Dick walks further into her room, moving to get a look at her and he can see she's awake now but she doesn't look at him. "You need to eat." Dick states but Sam still won't look at him. "I know it's...hard. I know Jason meant a lot to you. You two went through a lot together. But, he wouldn't want you to live like this."

Dick says that on purpose, thinking maybe it'll get a rise out of her. Maybe she'd say something like he wouldn't know because he never knew Jason or he didn't care enough about Jason to know what he would want. But she says nothing, she doesn't look at him, and she doesn't move. Dick would think she were dead if it were for the blankets moving with every breath she takes.

"Okay, well, I'll be down the hall. Gar is here and the other Titans will be here in a few days. You can come talk if you want." Dick offers but again, nothing from Sam so Dick leaves her to herself.

The tears come back as soon as Sam hears the door close. The weight in her chest is so heavy she can't even bear it. She doesn't know how. Things get heavy, she puts it on Jason. Jason was so good at carrying her weight for her and now he's gone. And she has no idea how she's ever supposed to carry the weight of losing him. She shouldn't have to.

It's not fair. It was senseless and cruel and brutal. And she thinks he must have been scared in his final moments. She wonders if he knew she'd be looking for, maybe he thought she'd come to save him like she always did. But she let him down. A sob rips through her throat at the very thought and she can't do it.

Gar tries again a few hours later. He's going through it, too. It's different with Dick. Dick got to know Jason better over the last few months but he didn't know him like Gar did. They were best friends and they talked everyday. He's the best friend Gar ever had and he's going through the loss of it, too. But, a part of him is worried he's going to lose Sam with him.

But, similar to Dick, Sam doesn't say anything and she feels bad about it even. She knows it hurts him, too. They were best friends but it's too damn hard to look at him. Sam knows, to some extent, Jason's blood is also on her hands. How is she supposed to tell Gar that? She can't and she swears she does not deserve the empathy that radiates from Gar. So, she ignores him only for him to sit with her anyway and turn on one of their mutually favorite movies.

Gar doesn't give up and she doesn't have to talk but he knows being alone in grief is not going to do her any good. Sitting with her is something he can do and if she decides still, not to talk, that's fine. But, he wants to be here just in case she does. And about halfway through the movie, Sam finally caves and turns around to face him with tear-stained cheeks.

"I know." Gar nods softly. "I miss him, too." Gar says softly.

Sam lets out a sob, slamming her eyes shut. Gar reaches over and pulls her into a hug. The two of them break into each other's arms. How are they supposed to figure out how to live their lives without him in them anymore? They've done it with their parents and Donna. They have done it and they can do it again but how? It's so damn hard and it just keeps happening. They keep losing people. How much loss can two people even take before it all becomes too much? Sam swears this is it. This is too much. Jason Todd was the last straw. She is tired of the circle.

Molly comes by the next day. Sam hasn't been answering her texts or calls which isn't surprising. Molly decided to give her a couple of days to be alone before stopping again. She needed those couple of days to gather herself, too. Jason was her best friend, too. but, Molly has something interesting to tell Sam and she hopes, given finding out about the vigilante life, maybe it'll get Sam to at least get out of bed.

"Hey." Molly calls and Sam waves her arm haphazardly at her from her bed. "I have something you might wanna know." Molly comes and plops down beside Sam.

Sam turns around slowly, eyes narrowing at her. She doesn't say anything, however, she decides just to listen. A really big part of her wants to push Molly away, too. It seems safer that way. But, it also seems cruel to do it again. Sam did it once and it was always something she regretted.

"Has Dick or Bruce mentioned the new crime lord?" Molly asks and Sam raises a brow. Molly asked around about him a little bit and that's what he's being referred to, apparently. "Well, two nights ago, he showed up at my apartment with Diego."

"What?" Sam questions immediately, her voice cracked and rugged.

"Yeah, he just showed up with him. He told me to get better locks?" Molly shakes her head. "I have no idea but Diego was fine."

"How would he even know about Diego and you?" Sam asks and Molly was right, it does pique her interest a little bit. She hasn't heard anything about the new guy but it is interesting. New crime lord shows up and he drops off a missing kid unharmed? That shit is weird, even for Gotham.

"I have no idea. But, he seemed...familiar, I think but also really intimidating." Molly shakes her head. "I don't know but I thought you'd wanna know. Did you want to look into him for me?" Molly asks casually and hopefully.

Sam sees through it. She knows what Molly is trying to do and maybe it'll work a little bit. She is already looking into how she can get away with killing the Joker. She could squeeze this guy into it. Maybe it'll be a good distraction from the stabbing and suffocating pain of grief. Sam always did like to run from things that hurt. This is an opportunity to do just that and for a good cause. He knows where Molly lives and that's a problem.

"Are you just trying to get me out of bed?"

"A little bit." Molly laughs softly. "Jason would go after him, or look into him." 

Sam lets out a scoff. "Yeah, probably." Sam rolls her eyes. "Fine, but only because he showed up at your fucking apartment and that's weird as fuck. You do need better locks though."

"Yeah, I'll get to that." Molly quips back.

"Still have a Wayne credit card, want it to buy better locks?" Sam offers.

"You just wanna spite Bruce."

"And make sure you're safe. Sick of losing people."

"At least you're talking." Molly smiles widely.

"Yeah." Sam answers shortly. 

That night, after everyone has gone into their rooms for the night, Sam goes back to the Batcave and continues planning. But, on top of that, she does do what she promised Molly. She starts looking into the new so-called crime lord. He showed up at her apartment. That's reason enough for concern and Sam isn't about to lose another person. And of course, Bruce already has a file on him.

According to the file, he's already decapitated six men of the major drug families in Gotham. Sam gives the screen a grimace reading the words and then going to autopsy reports. Decapitation is a personal way of murder. That seems weird for someone willing to drop off a kidnapped kid but Sam just keeps reading over everything. She finds out he also killed Pete Hawkins, this time with a bullet to the head which explains how he found Diego. But, Sam still finds that confusing as she goes back to Pete Hawkins' file.

He was just working with the Joker, not other families. Why the hell would the guy target scum like Pete Hawkins when he's going after the families? Going after the families means going after the drug trade in Gotham, not whatever weird shit the Joker had planned with kids. This whole thing is weird and if Sam were being honest, a little annoying. The Joker was just the first part of her plan.

The next step is men like Pete Hawkins, people working with the Joker. The new guy managed to already beat her to the punch and she finds that to be annoying. There are others though, at least, and she can still target them as long as this guy doesn't. She's done with the way this city chews and eats the innocent. Bruce's ways clearly don't work enough. So, Sam continues her research spread across the new guy and the best way to get into Arkham.

The following night, Barbara comes over to have a drink with Bruce and Dick. Dick convinced her to come talk to Bruce. Sam can hear them from her room. They're laughing and she doesn't know how they even managed to get a laugh out. But, it piques her curiosity. Gar told her earlier that he's worried Dick might have her committed if she doesn't get up and try. This seems like an excuse enough to make an appearance, if for no other reason, than to just listen. They're talking about Jason.

"So, then, Jason corners Mad Hatter and he starts swearing at him like going off." Barbara says and Sam stops just before the entrance of the room to listen to the story. She leans against the wall, sucking in a breath. "Like 'you short fucking hat-wearing fuck' fuck you'. And Hatter stands there stunned that Robin's cussing him out. And then Bruce came in and do you remember what you said to Jason?" Barbara laughs.

"What?" Dick asks.

"Watch your language." Bruce says.

Sam gains a soft smile because that sounds like Jason. He'd tell anyone off. He didn't give a fuck who they were. She wishes she could have seen the look on Hatter's face. But the smile falls short as Bruce brings up the GCPD finding eight bodies, clearly the new guy that showed up at Molly's apartment. He asks if they know who the killer is and this is why Sam can't stand him.

He never fucking stops. Jason is barely in the ground and he just keeps fucking moving. At least Sam is looking for revenge and looking into someone who might be a threat to Molly. Bruce is just doing it because it's Bruce. Not because he actually cares about Jason or the people this guy is gonna hurt. And he has the audacity to call what's going on in Gotham a war, for the soul of the city. Sam almost walks away but Barbara starts talking and Sam always liked her.

"I don't know, Bruce. Calling it a war feels like trying to justify all the lives that've been lost."

"Your father and I knew protecting Gotham required real sacrifice."

Sam nearly screams. He doesn't fucking get it. Innocent people shouldn't have to be sacrificed for a city. That isn't justice and Sam wants to sit down and question his morals right to his face. Innocent people being sacrificed by Bruce and the GCPD is fine, but killing people like the damn Joker isn't justice? The logic doesn't add up and it's like some sick-ass game Bruce is playing here. But with people's lives. Maybe he can't kill them because he's too similar to the bad guys he lets live.

"My father died from a heart attack after being frozen in a block of ice by a man wearing a fucking refrigerator suit." Venom seeps into Barabara's voice.

"Mr. Freeze." Bruce corrects and Sam nearly bangs her head against the wall.

"I know who he is." Barbara snaps back and there's a pause for a few seconds. "That's how you see my father, isn't it? As a sacrifice? You dragged him into this insanity. Just like you did Dick and Jason. And now Sam."

"It was a long time ago." Dick finally chimes in and Sam wants to know how Dick doesn't see that Bruce has manipulated him so damn bad it's almost Stockholm syndrome.

"You know what he did to you, Dick. You almost lost yourself because Bruce weaponized your grief." Barabara says and Sam nearly cheers out loud. She gets it! "And Jason? You took another kid who was lost and angry and alone and convinced him that he'd be invincible if he put on a mask. No more Robins, Bruce. I chose to put the cowl on to go out there as Batgirl when the Joker shot me. That wasn't your fault. But you drove Dick away."

"We worked it out." Dick defends Bruce again.

Sam rolls her eyes and she wants to put him under a microscope and figure out exactly why he defends him so much. Apparently, his loyalty is deep but Bruce keeps Dick in the dark. And Sam knows a little secret that might change that. Dick warned her about Bruce. Sam knows he doesn't fully forgive him or trust him. And she's going to make sure it stays that way. They're all sacrifices to the city anyway, right?

"Whether you've forgiven him or not, he drove you away. And he put Jason in the ground. You would think that after everything that the Joker's done to so many people you would have found a way to keep him locked up. But part of me, a big part of me, believes that you want him to escape. So, you can keep hiding from yourself behind that mask. You're as crazy as the fucking Joker." Barbara spits and Sam smiles. She's right and someone should have said it a long time ago.

The room falls silent and Sam thinks now is a good time to make herself known. She agrees with Barabra but there are some things she has to say and some things they need to hear, too.

"It's true." Sam's voice is groggy and cracked as she stands in the doorway, the entire room putting their eyes on her. "Babs is right." Sam glances to her and offers a nod.

"You're up." Dick's face softens.

"Yeah, heard you guys laughing. Heard the Hatter story. But, let's not get our hopes up here, Dickolas. She's fucking right, it's your fucking fault Jason's dead." Sam turns her attention to Bruce. "I told you."

"What do you mean you told him?" Dick questions, looking between the two of them.

"I told him Joker was gonna kill someone he cared about eventually, you or Jason and he didn't listen. He never fucking listens." Sam scoffs with the shake of her head as she tugs the sleeves of Jason's hoodie over her hands. "I told you, all you had to was let him be fucking Robin or get it through his head that you love him and all you did was fucking fail in both departments." Sam lets out a heavy breath as she locks eyes with Bruce. "And you just...pinned him and Dick against each other so he never fucking felt good enough and anyone willing to actually listen to him for five minutes could figure that out but you just...don't fucking listen. Had you just let him be Robin or been fucking better, he'd be alive!" Sam lets out an exasperated yell.

To be fair, Sam has been wanting to tell Bruce off for months. She knows all of the weird ass training he put Jason and Dick through. Between the cabin and the contract about not letting fear in or whatever, it's insanity. The two of them might have been partially raised by Bruce but from where Sam is standing, Bruce viewed them as weapons of his own molding. It's wrong even if that was never his intention and all that training was supposed to be to keep them safe. It's still wrong.

"That's not fair, Sam." Dick states firmly.

"No, you wanna know what's not fair? The fact I lost my mom because of Bruce. And I just lost my favorite person in the entire world because of him. He was it for me, Dick." Sam grits her teeth as tears brim her eyes. "So, I don't care!" Sam turns her attention back to Bruce."You got him fucking killed! Remember what I told you? The guilt eating you alive yet?" Sam snarls at him as her voice cracks.

"I am sorry for your loss of your mother. I tried talking with Jason--" Bruce starts.

"I don't wanna hear it. Fuck you. I don't care!" Sam yells at him as her voice cracks. "It wasn't fucking good enough. You might not have taken the crowbar to his face but you might well have." Tears leak from her eyes as she wipes them quickly. "How dare you sit in here and laugh with them over Jason, a kid you never fucking bothered to understand or actually protect. Fuck you, Bruce." Sam shakes her head and she turns to Dick. Her loyalty was always with Jason, not Bruce. "Hey, Dick, you say you forgive him, right? Why don't you go check the Batcomputer and let me know if you still do? You're really gonna wanna see what he's got planned." Sam taunts.

"What's on the Batcomputer?" Dick looks to Bruce with suspicion. His stomach flips and a part of him actually doesn't want to know. He knows it's not going to be anything good and he really thought, just maybe, things would be a little different. 

"It's nothing." Bruce states. "I understand this is difficult. It is difficult for all of us—"

"It was not hard for you to order the autopsy. For what? He was beaten to death. We all know how he died. You had no fucking problem burying him without his fucking friends being here. His family. All you care about is yourself and covering this shit up so you can move onto the next fucked up kid you can weaponize all over again."

"Sam." Dick states, his voice firm. "What are you talking about?"

"Pictures of kids, profiles on them. Street kids, that's the nothing Bruce is talking about." Sam explains as she looks between Babarara and Bruce. Sam might have went digging on the Batcomputer, expecting Bruce to be looking for a new Robin. "Should I tell Dick and Babs  what you asked me the day of the bullshit funeral you tried to throw?"

"What did you do?" Barbara asks Bruce, her voice annoyed and protective.

"He asked me if I wanted to be Robin, to honor Jason." Sam rolls her eyes as she lets out a cold and bitter laugh. "You never gave a shit about him. You aren't even grieving him. Someone who's grieving doesn't go recruit more kids to fill the role that got another one killed. It fucked up Dick. You killed Jason. What's fucking next?" Sam looks to Dick. "You warned me about him. So, don't sit here and pretend like all's forgiven. You knew he was dangerous. To some extent otherwise, you wouldn't have warned me. Every time he asked me for something, I remembered what you told me and I said no. I won't end up like you and Jason. I am not one of his sidekicks. I am my own fucking person. I didn't get to pick my powers but I get to pick what I do with them. Because of you. Don't pretend like you actually think he changed."

"I'm sorry, what the hell has been going on here?" Barbara looks to Bruce.

"I think it's time we stop pretending like Batman's ways are the only good ones because they don't fucking work. Batman has helped the city, sure, but uh, he's also caused it a lot of harm. And now you've taken my favorite people. So, fuck you and fuck your morals. Babs is right. Fuck you. I'm going back to bed." Sam turns around before looking back. "I'm serious, check the Batcomputer." Sam looks to Bruce. "My loyalty was always with Jason. It was never with you. That is the only reason I went by your rules and that's why I'll tell Dick everything. I don't have to protect Jason by protecting you anymore. You were his hero. But you were never mine. I hope that guilt eats you alive like it is for me." Sam states before walking off, the room confused in silence.

Sam heads back to her room and lays back on the bed. She hates that her eyes start burning as the lump becomes so large she can't even swallow. It's not fair. Everything sets her off. She wants to stop crying and shaking. She hates the nausea that comes with it and she misses him so fucking much.

Her hand grips the necklace tight as if the pure strength of her fist can bring him back. Every single second is agonizing. All she wants is for him to walk through those doors again and greet her with some lame pet name. She'll take Acid Fingers at this point. None of it matters anymore.

She closes her eyes and she sees either his face brutalized or that grin he'd give her right before he had a bad idea she'd follow without even thinking. His canines were always a little pointy and looked like fangs in the right light. Somehow it always suited him. And she misses him.

She remembers her first night in Gotham that feels like ages ago. And how it felt to be back with him. The void in her heart, the one she didn't even know was there, was suddenly not so hollowed anymore. She touched the bruise on his face and she thought maybe he'd explode from the contact. She always wondered if maybe he could hear her heart whenever she did something like that. It was always the only sound she could hear. He made her so nervous and happy. A part of her thought, maybe, she wasn't meant to be happy in love. She always ran from it anyway but Jason made it so easy. He always made it easy to love him even when it was hard. And she doesn't know how she's supposed to just...cope. To live every day and never hear his laugh and see that grin again. Or hear his voice. She doesn't even have a voicemail from him. She wants him back.

The next morning, Dick walks into Sam's room. He stands in the doorway and he hates he's even the one to have to break this news. But, someone has to and it needs to be him. And she has to be the first person he tells. Bruce, apparently, took all of the arguments a little too close to heart last night.

"Sam, are you awake?" Dick asks.

Sam sticks her arm up and waves at him haphazardly, not wanting to talk. She's back with no motivation or will to move. She's still coming down from last night. Gar came in after, he heard the arguing, and checked on her. But, even trying to talk to him didn't really help. Nothing really helps.

Grief is exhausting. It consumes every part of her. Every muscle, every emotion. Every piece of her is just consumed. It's like a radioactive explosion. No part of her is safe from the agony. And no one around her is safe from the grief that leaks from her pores.

"I need to tell you something." Dick keeps his voice steady and stern.

Sam turns slowly, peeking an eye at him but not saying anything. She thinks it'll be something dumb. Something to try and get her to get up again, but not argue or fight with Bruce. Maybe Bruce had a moment last night where he finally snapped and actually cried over it. Sam doesn't know and she doesn't care, but she's listening.

"Bruce broke into Arkham last night and killed the Joker." Dick gets it out in a single breath, anticipating Sam to blow up. "And then he took off."

Sam's eyes narrow at him as her jaw squares. If this is Dick's big idea of a joke, he really needs a comedy lesson because that's not funny. But, he has his hands in his front pockets and his jaw is squared, he always does that when he's being serious about something. And that grief that just felt like numbness and agony, is liquified into anger.

Sam sits up slowly. "He what?"

"Yeah." Dick states with the quick raise of his brows. "He dropped a crowbar on my floor last night."

If it were anyone else, Sam would probably find it in herself to actually laugh at the use of a crowbar. It's what he deserves but that's brutal. But, this is Bruce. The one who's been saying the Joker has to stay alive. Now, suddenly, he's gone off and killed him? With a crowbar?

"He killed the Joker?"

"Yeah." Dick nods his head.

That's her last straw here. She had a plan. She was planning to kill him herself and somehow Mr. Morality himself beat her to fucking punch? How did that even happen? The one time she actually puts a plan together and Bruce gets there first? How is that even fair?! She's so sick of this shit.

"Get the fuck out." Sam snaps, shaking her head with gritted teeth.

"Look, I know--"

"No, get the fuck out of my room." Sam points at the door. "That's bullshit. Get out. He should have been mine!"

Dick hangs his head for a second and he's not even sure how he's supposed to feel about it. He'd be lying if he weren't also planning his own revenge on the Joker. Him and Jason had their issues but he is also tired of the Joker getting to hurt people he cares about. He sat by Babara's hospital bed after the Joker shot her and he swears it was the darkest day of his life since his parents died. Then Jason. Killing is wrong, but the Joker needed to be stopped. Dick wanted revenge, too. But, maybe a part of him is a little hurt because he doesn't think Bruce would have done that for him.

Then, there's the other part, knowing Sam was ready to go in herself and take care of him. Which makes him a little relieved Bruce beat her to it. She's never fought the Joker. Dick isn't sure she would have made it out. They'd be burying another body.

"The Titans will be here in a few hours. But, I wanted you to be the first to know." Dick states. "I thought you deserved that." Dick lets out a breath. "And you were right about the kids. You were right."

Sam pauses for just a second because Dick does not like to admit he's wrong often. But he is now. She knew she was right but something is a little bit nice hearing it anyway. And from Dick. But, that does not make her any less angry at the world or at Bruce.

"Yeah, I fucking know and so were you. Too bad Jason didn't see it." Sam's voice softens just a little and she regrets not voicing her concerns about Bruce and Robin to him. It probably wouldn't have done anything but cause a fight, but she should have tried.

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah. Me, too." Sam shakes her head. "Now get out." Sam lays back down and rolls over.

She's going with Plan B.

The agony of grief is turning into boiling rage. How dare Bruce think he gets the right to just kill the Joker now. Of all fucking times. Now he's going to toss his morals aside and kill him? It's a little too fucking late for that. That should have been Sam's job but he went and did it anyway. She's fucking sick of this shit. So, she changes her plan and if she's gonna be mad, she's gonna use it. 

She grabs the tablet off the nightstand and gets up. She grabs a notebook from her bookshelf with a marker and sits right in the center of her floor. There are plenty more horrible people that roam the streets of Gotham and she's going after every single one of them. She writes down what she deems to be the worst of the worst behaviors and goes from there. 

This was always going to be the plan if she made it out of Arkham after killing the Joker. She was always going to go after these people. It's just being sped up a little bit and she isn't going to waste a lot of time planning this time around. Instead, she does research through the tablet and finds who she can that were confirmed to be working with the Joker and/or working with Pete Hawkins and then she runs over their rap sheets and backgrounds.

She remembers her and Jason talking about what they do after Robin. After Bruce. They'd hunt down these people themselves because they're always the ones that get pushed to the side. They get to escape Batman, they don't make it to the radar. Well, now they are. Molly was always right. Batman protects the rich so she's going to protect the ones Batman doesn't. She's going to make sure none of these victims and potential victims end up like her or Jason or Molly or Diego or any of the others. Bruce's morals were never hers.

Sam finishes her research a few hours later before she heads to the Batcave, ignoring the laughter coming from the kitchen. She looks at Jason's suit that still has traces of blood over it. Her heart sinks to her stomach and her eyes start to burn. She chews the inside of her cheek before taking in a deep breath. It's not fucking fair but she's gonna level the playing field. Someone has to. Not another person.

Bruce offered her Robin as a way to honor him and that's not honorable. But, she wants to send the message. So, she walks over to the case with her suit and opens it. She gets dressed before she heads over to the weapons where she grabs the extra R blades that usually go into the Robin suit. She stuffs them in her utility belt. They are not knives but they'll do the job just fine. Jason always made sure they were sharp.

The kitchen is filled with Titans, all of them snapping their attention to Sam as she walks in, the room so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Sam doesn't say a single word as she keeps her stare in front of her as she walks over to the cabinet where Jason always kept the protein bars. Sam plucks a few from the cabinet and sticks them in her utility belt.

"You're up." Dick finally states with caution. "And going out?" Dick eyes her in the suit.

"Got shit to do." Sam mutters, slamming the cabinet door.

"You should probably eat something....more filling." Gar chimes in. "Especially if you're going on patrol." Gar keeps his voice hopeful. 

Sam rolls her eyes as she walks over to the fridge and grabs a bottle of water. The other Titans watch her carefully, glancing to Dick to find out what they're supposed to do in all of this. Sam didn't talk to Dawn or Hank and neither did Jason. They know what was posted to social media and whatever Gar, Dick, and Kory would tell them. But, they're growing a little more concerned about what they missed in these few months.

"Let me fucking be." Sam snips. "That's what the protein bars are for." Sarcasm fills the room like toxic venom.

Hank blocks the exit. "Heard you haven't been eating or doing anything. You're eating before you leave."

Of all the people, she does not want to deal with Hank. She can let a grudge for herself go but for people she loves? Absolutely not. Jason can forgive him all the fuck he wants, but Sam does not. And she will take him out first if that's how this is going to be.

Sam grits her teeth. "Get the fuck out my way."

Hank crosses his arms. "Not a chance, kid."

"We're worried about you." Dawn's voice is soft.

"I don't fucking care." Sam snips, looking back at her. 

"Why don't you come sit down?" Kory asks. "Take a breath."

It's not Kory's fault. None of this. She has been nothing but nice to her and Jason. But, she's on their side, not hers.

"I have had enough taking breaths. I need to get some shit done and I am going to do it whether any of you like it or not." Sam looks back at Kory with the shrug of her shoulders. "I'm tired of this shit hurting so I'm...going out."

Gar's worried about her. He's always worried. But, her going out even if it's just to patrol seems like a really bad idea right now. He's terrified she's going to do something reckless and they'll be burying her, too. He can't lose someone else.

"It hurts us, too, Sam." Gar says quietly.

She knows. She knows it hurts them all. But, she was closest to him. She was there. She missed it. She was the one that found him and had to look at him like that. She was the one that wasn't fast enough to save him. Or strong enough. Or careful enough. Jason made her rethink everything she has ever known and for the first time in her life, she wasn't fucking afraid of staying. He changed every part of her and it hurts. He's gone and it's her fault and it hurts.

Sam grits her teeth and feels her eyes start to water. "But it hurts me the most, Gar!" Sam spins to look at him. "You. Weren't. Here! He meant everything to me." Sam's voice cracks with desperation.."I close my eyes and I see his body. I--" Sam stops herself, feeling everyone stare at her, the tension in the room making the place feel a rainforest. "None of you get it." Sam's voice cracks with defeat. "Leave me alone. I'll be fucking fine." Sam sucks in a harsh breath, hardening her face as she looks up to Hank. "Get the fuck out of my way."

Hank looks to Dick and Dick shakes his head. He let Jason down. No matter what Dick believes really happened, it was his job to protect Jason and teach, Jason. He let him down and he won't let Sam down. Not again. He won't lose another person.

"Not happening."

"Get the fuck out of my way or I'll melt your face off." Sam holds out her left hand, it glowing in response.

"You won't fucking dare." Hank glares down at her. "I'll take you out, kid."

Sam stands her ground. "I'm not scared of you. I'm not fucking afraid of anything."

"I'll go with you." Gar finally chimes in, tired of the back and forth.

He's a little worried Sam might actually try to fight Hank at this point. He knows none of them are going to be able to stop her unless with force. He, for one, does not want to see that happen and what will be the aftermath of that. He doesn't want to help with it either. It's not right. So, he'll just go with and make sure she doesn't do anything too insane.

"No." Sam is stern as she looks over her shoulder at Gar.

"You take Gar or you're not going." Dick states.

He doesn't want Sam to leave but he also knows holding her here won't do any of them any good. At least with Gar, Dick knows she wouldn't do anything to endanger him. Gar is always the voice of reason and maybe the two of them alone, Gar can talk some sense into her.

"I don't need a fucking babysitter, Dickolas."

"We don't want you to get yourself killed." Gar states.

"The world has never been so kind to me." Sam's words are broken as she looks to the floor. She shakes her head and she wants to save her remaining energy for her list so she caves. "Fucking fine." Sam spins around, Gar jumping up from his seat. "But, you don't get to protest what I'm doing and I assure you, you will not like it."

"What are you going to do?" Dick asks.

"Doesn't matter. There's a new crime lord in town, you have your hands a little full with Bruce out of the picture. He's killed eight people and counting, taking over the drug traffickers right now."

"All the more reason for you not to go out." Dick states. 

"I'm not in the crime business in case you haven't noticed, Dickolas. " Sam lets out a scoff. "So, I'm fucking leaving and doing my own shit." Sam turns back to Hank. "I won't piss off a wanna-be Penguin."

"Make sure she doesn't get herself killed or kills anyone else in the process." Dick warns Gar quietly and he nods.

"Move." Sam groans up at Hank who reluctantly moves when Gar approaches.

Hank moves allowing them to pass by, Gar hot on Sam's heels as he stuffs his hands in his pockets. They head outside where Sam's bike is parked and she pops on her helmet. She's running through her plan in her head, trying to figure out how she's going to manage with Gar around.

Gar is not going to like it and then she'll have to listen to him. But, if there's one thing she's gotten good at the last few days, it's tuning people. So, she could tune him out. She could also just have him wait outside if this is an indoor thing. She doesn't want him involved. This is her thing. It doesn't need to be on Gar's hands.

"Are you going to tell me what your plan is?" Gar asks as he stands to the side of the bike.

"Nope." Sam states. "Dick's bike is over there with a helmet, grab it and get on so we can go." Sam states coldly.

"I think you should tell me the plan first." Gar's voice is hesitant.

"We're literally outside right now and I can just take off. I can lose Dick before you go inside to get him and tell him you already lost me. So, either get the helmet and let's go, or I'm going to leave."

Gar lets out a defeated sigh as Sam gets on the bike. He rushes over to Dick's bike and grabs the helmet.

"You're...you're not gonna...kill anyone are you?" Gar questions as he walks back over.

"I told you, you're not gonna like it so you can either stay here or let me do my shit by myself. You'll have to fight me to stop me and we know I'll win. So it's your decision." Sam shrugs.

Gar lets out a sigh, hoping he'll be able to talk her out of this. He gets on the bike and puts the helmet on before he holds onto Sam. Sam shakes her head, sliding down her face shield before she takes off. She heads to a hideout that one of the men has been using.

Sam looks at the abandoned building and rolls her eyes. According to her few hours of research, he wasn't working with anyone closely besides the Joker but he's dead now. So, Sam figures this can't go terribly wrong and even if does, that would be fine.

"Stay." Sam states as she puts her helmet on the bike.

"I'm coming—" Gar follows her.

Sam stops dead in her tracks, Gar bumping right into her. She spins around. "Gar, stay. I don't want you involved."

There's a fire in her eyes Gar hasn't seen before and he really doesn't want her to go in there alone. Nothing good is going to come from it.

"You're my best friend. I don't want you to do something you'll regret." Gar's voice is sympathetic.

"I won't regret this. Stay here." Sam shakes her head and spins back around, hoping he'll actually listen to her.

Gar stays behind as he watches Sam head to the back of the building. Gar debates his loyalty. On the one hand, he knows he'll have to fight Sam and he doesn't want to do that. She's right, she'll win. He'll lose anyway. And she is his friend, he never wants to fight his friends. All it will do is cause more tension and she's in the middle of grieving her favorite person. That just doesn't seem right. But, Dick told him to make sure she doesn't get hurt or get someone killed. So, after just a few minutes of debating, he follows her with reluctance.

Gar rushes inside and by the time he gets inside, Sam is already throwing the R blades, the man pinned on the floor. He never stood a chance. She has a blade in his leg, in his arm, and in his abdomen.

"Please! I'll tell you whatever you want to do know!" The man begs as Sam stands over him.

"I don't want to know anything." Sam states, her hands glowing as she shrugs down at him. She runs over the list in her head, reminding herself of every terrible, horrible, irredeemable thing he's done.

"I-I know where the Red Hood is!" The man panics and Sam's eyes narrow.

This guy was working with the Joker so was Pete Hawkins. Red Hood killed Pete Hawkins, that makes sense. But, Sam finds it odd anyway to mention it as he begs for his life. She's not here for the new guy. And she almost asks him why he thinks she is but that would mean offering him time and that's not what this is about.

"I don't care." Sam rolls her eyes. "This has nothing to do with him. This is for every kid you turned to the freak ass clown." Sam sticks her hand to his face as his skin starts to melt.

"Stop!" Gar yells, coming up behind her and yanking her away, the man screaming in agony as he rolls on the ground.

"Get the fuck off of me!" Sam wiggles in his grip, getting free. "Get the fuck out of here!"

"You're not gonna do this! We don't do this!" Gar gestures his arm at the man.

"I'm not a fucking we! I do what I want!" Sam screams back, shooting a blast of acid at the man as his screams die down. "See? All done."

Sam walks past Gar as Gar looks at the damage that's been done. He walks over, checking the man's pulse only for there to be nothing left. He just watched her kill someone in under ten minutes. This is bad. He has to snap her out of this. It's not going to bring Jason back. Nothing can bring him back and she needs to find a way to deal with it that doesn't involve killing people.

"You can't do this!" Gar yells, Sam keeping her back to him as she reaches the bike. "You can't kill people because you miss Jason! That's not gonna bring him back!"

He can't let her keep doing this. If this is her plan, some sort of revenge filled with grief, that's not Sam. He knows her, too and he swears it's not. She's the one who always said she wasn't violent. It sucks and it hurts. It's always going to hurt, he knows that, but this isn't going to make the pain any less for her.

Sam looks down and lets out a hollowed, venom-filled chuckle. It's never going to be about missing him and that's the thing. He'll never get it. But, it's like this void has opened up in her chest, right where her heart used to be. A black hole, sucking everything inside of it but never being full. It's just a vast of nothingness and it's not about missing him.

"I'm not doing it because I miss him! Fuck." Sam screams, spinning around with her helmet in her hand. "I'm doing this for me and for Jason and for Dick and Molly and Diego and every other fucking kid that Bruce fucked over and the system fucked over because Bruce said that's fucking justice!"

"And do you think this," Gar gestures around him to the building. "Is justice?!"

"It's better than fucking nothing, Gar!" Sam lets out a harsh breath. "We're the people left behind to suffer at the hands of people with bad intentions! Because we have no other choices! I'm doing this for all of us! I'm doing this for the life Jason should have had! For the life he deserved to have but never got the fucking chance because of bullshit circumstances! Just like me and Molly and Dick and Diego and all the others! So, you can either shut the fuck up and get the fuck on board, or try to fucking stop me."

Gar shakes his head and it's like he's losing her, too. Donna, Jason, and her. This is going to get Sam killed. She's going to go after the wrong person and it'll be the end. And this isn't her. She's mad and in the middle of grief. Grief is messy, it explodes and it always touches more than just the people in the thick of it. He can't just let her do this and end up regretting it.

"We don't kill people." Gar's voice is soft this time and for a split second, Sam actually feels bad. He wasn't even supposed to be involved but Dick insists on a babysitter. "And I-I don't want to fight you."

"I'm not a we anymore." Sam shakes her head and shrugs her shoulders. Her voice is etched with pain and it breaks Gar's heart all over again.

Sam's teeth grit and it's so painful, it's almost numbing to everything. Every day, it's hard and it isn't getting easier. And maybe she thinks she deserves the pain and numbness from all of it. If anyone should have known Jason was up to something, it should have been her. She put all of this blame on Bruce, but it eats at her, too. They both missed it. Everyone missed it. And the one fucking time he needed Sam to see it, she missed it and it got him killed.

"I don't want to fight you either but I will if you try to stop me and we both know I'll win." Sam sucks in a breath knowing Gar wouldn't have it in him to actually stop her.

And maybe she's hoping it's a false sense of confidence. Maybe she thinks she deserves to fight him, have him not on her side anymore. Maybe she doesn't deserve it anymore.

Sam turns back around and gets on the bike before putting her helmet on. It's not going to bring him back, she knows. And it's not going to make her feel better. But, it's better than letting someone else go through what she and every other kid has so far. This city eats people alive. It takes and takes and takes and that is all it has ever done. She's tired of it. She's willing to live with the guilt of blood on her hands if it'll help even a few kids who've been left in the cold. Maybe she deserves it anyway.

"Dick is gonna be pissed." Gar sucks in a breath as he takes a few steps towards her.

"Kory kills people sometimes. Rose killed Deathstroke. I killed people from CADMUS when they attacked the tower. You killed someone once. Mr. Moral Highground himself just fucking killed the Joker. Why is it such a big fucking deal right now? Why is it so fucking bad right now?" Sam's voice is almost defeated.

Honestly, she wonders how it's always Gar caught in the crossfire. Maybe it's just because he's too empathetic, always seeing the good in everyone. It's still something she admires. But, he can't stop her and she desperately wishes, he'd just understand.

"Because this isn't you." Gar's brows furrow as he stuffs his hands in his jacket pockets.

Sam looks down and clears her throat, feeling the guilt start to eat at her chest. She's not sure what the guilt is though. The guy she just killed or for making Gar give her that look that screams desperation and disappointment.

"Maybe it always should have been though." Sam shakes her head. "You know, he was bad, right?" Sam asks. "Like, working with the Joker. Joker had a few guys trafficking kids. Was gonna go after one, Pete Hawkins, but uh, Red Hood beat me to the punch so, next best I guess. So, he wasn't just some guy doing something bad." Sam explains.

"That doesn't make it better." Gar states. "Maybe we could have helped him get out of that."

"Nope, rap sheet five pages long." Sam sucks in a harsh breath. "Okay, where do you stand on Bruce killing the Joker?"

"I-I...I mean..." Gar thinks killing is wrong, but...the Joker was always the worst of the worst. "I don't know."

"Yes, you do. I think you don't like it but you're not gonna go and tell fucking Batman off for doing it. I think a part of you, might actually understand it." Sam gestures a hand towards him. "I'm not asking you to agree with me, Gar. I can't ask that of you. But I am asking you to just understand. You didn't grow up here and see this shit, okay?" 

"I don't want you to kill people and I don't want you to regret this when it does get better. I know you don't want to hear that but it will."

"We talked about it, ya know?" Sam asks. "What we'd do after Robin and Batman. Team up and go after these guys. These guys rarely make it to Bruce's radar. It's not fair. Most of us aren't rich but that doesn't mean we're a sacrifice. That's what Bruce called us last night. What he called Jim Gordon, his fucking friend. A sacrifice. I'm tired of innocent people being a sacrifice for a city and for rich fucks that don't actually give a fuck about them unless the press is taking pictures and writing articles about how good they are. We did not say we'd kill anyone, but..." Sam shrugs. "In and out of Blackgate and they learn nothing. Something permanent has to be done. So, I'm not gonna regret it."

He does not agree. There always has to be another way. If they all just started killing people because they think they're bad, how can that be justice? How can that be better than what's already going on? But, Gar can't argue it not without going round and round in circles. And he's never said anything about Kory or Rachel killing anyone. So, he decides, maybe he can try a little bit to understand even if he thinks he won't be able to.

"I'm not killing just anyone, I promise. I have a plan."

"That's not reassuring." Gar states.

"I know." Sam nods. "But, I promise. I know but can you offer me a little understanding, please? As my friend."

Sam's done arguing. Her throat hurts and her chest hurts. A headache is pecking at the back of her head, it's just exhausting arguing. Everything is exhausting lately.

Gar moves forward and takes the helmet. "Dick is gonna kill you."

"Eh, he'll bitch about it for a while and then get over it because I'm grieving." Sam rolls her eyes. "Make him a hypocrite if he did something about it."

"Not funny." Gar scolds as he gets on the back.

"Wasn't a joke." Sam quips. "Hold on."

Sam spends the day not killing people but by tormenting some of the guys on her list. She beats them up and taunts them, threatens them and scares them. Gar still isn't happy with excessive force but it is better than her killing them. He wonders why she even killed the first guy. But a part of him is a little afraid to even ask. Knowing Sam, she does have a reason for it. And he doesn't want to give her the bright idea to kill all of them.

Their last stop is Jerry's old house. Sam hates how her hands shake and the lump in her throat grows. It's more now. It's more than the torture that lingers in her bones because with his house also comes the memories of Jason.

That night was the night she knew something was going on with them. She remembers that moment in the bathroom where Dick interrupted them and how her heart was thundering so loud she swore it'd wake up the whole tower. She remembers how good it felt and thrilling and the look on his face. That was the night he read to her. This is not that house but it reminds her of that night anyway. This house brought back all of her nightmares. She can't kill Jerry right now, but she can do something about the house. He'll, hopefully, get word of it and know she'll come for him one day. The house is the start.

She sucks up her fear and memories as she closes the distance and shoots acid on the side panel of the house before pulling out a match. Gar stands right beside her and he knows the house. He remembers it when him and Jason looked into her.

"What are you doing?" Gar asks.

"Burning it down." Sam states as she lights the match, tossing it onto the acid, watching the flames burn. "Suit? Flame retardant. Acid? Flammable." She walks around the other side and repeats the same thing until the house is engulfed in flames. "Tested it out last night, just to make sure." Sam watches the flames and Gar isn't sure how to feel about it. At least no one was inside, she checked, and this is her business. This is her thing. She's not hurting anyone at least. "Gonna lecture me about vandalism?" Sam looks over at him.

"No." Gar shakes his head. "I'm definitely calling the fire department though." Gar sucks in a breath, the fire warming his face a little too much for his comfort.

"Can you give it a minute? Just to make sure there's no saving it." Sam looks at him. "We can stay and watch it burn, make sure it doesn't get too out of control and no one gets hurt."

"Okay." Gar agrees as they move to stand by the bike and watch the house burn. "Does this help?"

"Yeah." Sam nods her head. "He's not getting life, ya know? Jason, uh, he kept a file on him. He kept tabs so I wouldn't have to." Sam shakes her head. "But, he got a lot of time but he can still come back and pick it up again. At least he'd need a new house and I'll see him coming. Not another kid."

"It is more than Jason." Gar nods his head with a sense of understanding.

"Yeah," Sam nods, her eyes trained on the house. "He's just the last straw for me. I think he'd find it funny and then ask why I didn't take a flame thrower."

"Flame thrower?" Gar questions. "Why the hell would you have a flame thrower?"

"Molly and me were walking and we hit this house. I don't know how I missed it. But, I did. And uh, I had a panic attack so bad I just...broke right on the side of the road. It was like I was back in San Francisco, in the basement all over again. Molly called Jason and he sat in front of me and snapped me out of it. Then he asked if I wanted to burn it down. He could get a flame thrower from the Batcave and we're both flame retardant." Sam laughs softly as her eyes burn.

"Oh, so he gave you this bright idea." Gar lets out a soft chuckle. It definitely sounds like something Jason would have said to make her feel better.

"He had some good ideas on occasion." Sam laughs softly as they hear sirens coming. "Well, someone beat ya to it. Let's head out." Sam lets out a sigh as she grabs her helmet and hands the other to Gar. "Thanks for not stopping me." Sam nods. "I'll tell Dick you tried."

"It's okay." Gar nods as he takes the helmet. "No one got hurt...here." Gar sucks in a breath.

The two of them get on the bike and head back to the manor. Gar reports to Dick when they get back. For a second, he debates even telling him what happened. Some part of him wants to understand because Sam is his friend. He believes she thinks she's doing what's right but it's hard for him to understand even though he doesn't give Kory a hard time. He didn't give Rachel a hard time when she killed people. But, Dick is looking at him expectantly and he can't lie to him. So, he tells Dick what happened.

Dick finds Sam in the Batcave later that night, deciding he'd like to have the conversation without the other Titans around. Dick swears this is the grief talking and the other Titans don't need to be involved. Sam is right, they have bigger problems right now. Their focus should be there, especially given the events that happened today. He can handle Sam.

"Do you feel better?" Dick questions as he paces in front of her with his arms crossed.

"Well, I guess that depends on your definition of feeling better." Sam shrugs her shoulders as she exits out of her screens on the Batcomputer.

"Are you serious right now?" Dick fumes.

"Pretty much." Sam answers simply.

If Gar can't get her to go back on her plan, Dick definitely can't. He's giving her that disappointed look that makes Sam almost groan. She's not in the mood for not only a lecture from him but another lecture about how they don't kill people.

"We don't kill people."

She almost laughs at the irony. "I'm not a we anymore in case you missed the memo." Sam snarks. "I'd like to go to bed though. If you don't mind." Sam gets up from her spot but Dick steps in front of her to stop her.

"We aren't done here. I know. I know how hard this is for you. But I promise, you will regret this." Dick tries to reason with her.

"I don't think so. We're different people. I don't feel all too bad about it." Sam lies. She feels a little bad about it. She's not a monster. "I'm going to bed unless you have anything else you want to say." Sam lets out a breath as she crosses her arms over her chest.

"Yeah, I have more to say. You're not going out alone anymore. You're taking Gar with you and you're not going to keep killing people. That's not what Titans do and that's not what you do."

"So, Gar is my babysitter? Gar tried and I still killed the guy today. Do you think that's gonna stop me?"

"Yes. You'll start to feel bad for making Gar stick around."

Sam narrows her eyes at him and he makes a good enough point. But, she's still pretty sure she'll keep up with her plan. She'll just find a way around Gar.

"Anything else or?"

Dick lets out a sigh and of course there's more. His first night, he went into Jason's room and found a formula. But, Sam has been either screaming, sobbing, or catatonic the last few days and he hasn't had much of a chance to ask anything.

"Okay, look, I need your help."

Sam lets out a laugh. "I can't kill people and now you need my help." Sam rolls her eyes. "With what?"

"Jason was making a drug, what do you know?" Dick cuts to the chase.

Sam shakes her head in disbelief. Why the fuck would Jason be making a drug? Does Dick really have so little faith in him? She's actually offended Dick would think he was making a drug. It's one of the most insane things she's ever heard and she lives with Bruce Wayne.

"Wow, okay, yeah that's fucking rich. He was not making a drug, Dickolas." Sam scoffs.

"Look, I found this formula in his room." Dick pulls the paper out of his pocket and hands it over.

Sam looks at it but she's never seen it before and it's definitely Jason's handwriting. It's messy and still somehow legible. But that still doesn't make any sense. Jason wanted to target dealers and the cooks. She always assumed it was because of his mom and once people are hooked, they'd be more vulnerable to everything.

Sam hands it back. "I have no fucking idea." Sam lets out a scoff and apparently, he was keeping a whole lot from her.

"Bullshit. You knew him better than anyone."

"Yeah, and I missed him going after the fucking Joker, too." Sam strikes back. "I don't know. I've never fucking seen it, he never mentioned it probably because he knew I'd chew him out for it. I don't know." Sam bites the inside of her cheek hard enough to taste iron. "Look, he's dead, it doesn't matter." The words are bitter on her tongue and they weigh heavy in her throat. But, it's true. Sam doesn't want to hear about it. He's dead, he's gone, it doesn't matter.

"I think it does." Dick protests. He doesn't understand how Jason was making a drug and somehow, no one knows anything about this. 

"Why? He's dead. He's gone. Shit isn't gonna bring him back." Sam brushes past him, feeling the caving of her chest start again.

"Sam." Dick calls as Sam looks back at him. "There was something going on."

"Yeah, apparently so but I don't know shit. Wish I did though." Sam turns back around. The drug is going to eat at her and it'll eat at Dick. She's tired of things eating at her and today is bothering her but not for the killing. So, she changes subject. "Hey, okay, uh, you guys actually going after the new guy?"

"We're putting together a case. He killed a woman today, a mother." Dick explains. "Do you know something?"

"No," Sam shakes her head. "But, uh, that guy I killed today, thought I was looking for him. He's called the Red Hood, by the way. Just...thought it was fucking weird and thought you might wanna know. Molly said he showed up at her apartment with Diego Martinez, a missing kid she was looking for. Pete Hawkins trafficking kids to the Joker and he was one of them."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know. Instead of begging for his life, he told me he knew where the Red Hood was. I, uh, thought it was weird. I think he was lying and uh, I have no idea how he knew about Molly." Sam lets out a scoff because that part is going to bother her until she gets an answer.

"Why would go to your friend? Are you sure you don't know anything else about him?"

"I swear, I have no fucking idea. That's why I'm telling you. Shit is weird, even for Gotham. If I knew more, I'd tell you. Weird he'd kill a random woman but Molly said he just seemed intimidating. I asked more about it later and she said Diego was fine and the Red Hood was nice to him. So...again, weird."

Dick lets out a sigh as he runs a hand through his hair. Of course, something can't be simple in Gotham. There always has to be something else going on and Dick agrees, this just seems weird. And it doesn't make any sense. What is his motive anyway?

"Well, good talk." Sam lets out a sigh. "Just thought you'd like that information in case it was useful. I'm going to bed." Sam offers Dick a nod before she walks off and exits the Batcave, leaving Dick with a bigger headache.

The next day, the Titans are working on the Red Hood case, something about a chess play. Dick went to Jonathan Crane for help over it which he was not happy about. Sam chooses not even to get involved with that one. She has her own thing she wants to do anyway and maybe a part of her, doesn't entirely know how to feel about the Red Hood. He did save Diego and maybe others for all she knows and he didn't hurt Molly when he could have. Though, he did kill an innocent woman. So, she's just not getting involved right now, instead she minds herself to her room for most of the day.

But, then she gets a call from someone, an unknown number.

"Meet me at the old gym." He says, his voice disguised by a voice modulator.

Sam pulls the phone from her face, looking at it with confusion before she puts it back to her ear. "Yeah, who the fuck are you and why the fuck would I do that?" Sam snarks back.

"Meet me at 8 tonight."

"Why?" Sam questions back.

"Just go to the roof. Eight O'clock." He says before the line goes dead.

Sam pulls the phone from her head again and looks at the dark screen. What is she even supposed to do with that? On the one hand, it would be really stupid to listen to a random voice from an unknown number. But, it's also weird enough that makes Sam kind of what to go. She doesn't talk to anyone. The only people who even have her number are the Titans and Molly. A lot of weird shit is currently going on and Sam would like at least one answer. It might be really stupid, but she figures she'll go anyway and she'll just be prepared for it to go south.

Lucky for Sam, the Titans had some Red Hood business to take care of that involved all of them looking for possible victims. That gave Sam the perfect opportunity to leave right when she needed to without having to worry about ditching Gar along the way.

Sam gets to the old gym and walks right in, almost no fear in her bones. She walks right through and into the pool area. The pool is gross, slimy. It looks like it hasn't been used in years, which it hasn't. And the smell of algae sticks to the walls, making Sam grimace behind her mask. So, she keeps walking until she reaches the stairs that lead to the roof.

Once on the roof, she walks over to the edge, resting her forearms on the ledge. Her stomach doesn't drop anymore. Anxiety doesn't flood her veins and she doesn't even feel the slightest bit dizzy. She thinks it's because of the grappling around the city. She had no choice but to get over her fear of heights. But she knows that's not all of it. Fear doesn't follow her very much these days.

She feels someone walk up beside her a few minutes later, barely getting a glimpse of them out of the corner of her eyes.

"Who are you and what the hell do you want?" Sam's voice is flat as she keeps her stare on the gloomy city below.

"Really did get over your fear of heights, huh?" The voice questions, a voice modulator changing it. He's a little surprised she came, honestly. But, it's Sam, of course she did. Sam hates unanswered questions and he knows that.

Sam looks over to see the new so-called crime lord. He's wearing a red helmet, the eyes white and there's no mouth. He's got a black padded suit on with a red symbol right in the middle of his chest that looks like a play on the Batman symbol. And above his suit, he's wearing a red hoodie under a brown leather jacket. It's a look.

Red Hood.

New crime lord trying to take over Gotham and leaving no one in his wake that crossed his path. He's brutal and ruthless. But methodical, has a plan and is never caught off guard. Smart, quick, sharpshooter. And as Sam remembers every horrible thing she's read, she nods once because she thinks this is finally it.

Finally, after all these years of suffering and misery, someone is gonna end it all for her. That has to be the reason she's standing here right now. Maybe that guy she killed was working for him. Cross his path in the wrong way, and he'll just kill you. Sam is so certain that's what it is and she almost feels relieved as she looks back to the city.

"Yeah well." She states, bypassing how he'd even know she were afraid of heights in the first place. "If you're gonna kill me, can you just like do it already?" Her voice is so flat and emotionless, Jason freezes.

She's given up. She gave up on the fight the day he died. And he was worried about that. When the drug wears off, it comes back. Every piece of fear he's ever felt floods back over him and one of those fears is always Sam. How she's going to react to knowing he's alive, how she's going to react knowing he died, how she's been doing. He can see it in the way her eyes scan the city that she's done. And he hates himself for it.

"I'm not gonna kill you. Why would I kill you?" He asks and he's glad his voice is disguised.

"It's what you do." Sam chortles. "It's fine, really. I'm sure I crossed you or whatever. To be expected." Sam glances at him once more before she looks back to the city. "Just, uh, take my phone and call Dickolas. Make sure he's the one that finds me because if you don't, that means my friend will and I really, really don't want him to deal with that. It fucking sucks." Sam nods as she rolls her eyes. "Consider it my dying wish."

"Dramatic as always." Jason lets out a chuckle. "You know I'm not gonna fucking kill you because you got that combat thing." He says and he's buying time, trying to get the courage to tell her.

Sam pauses, looking at him slowly. One person that knows referred to it that way. It was always Jason. He always said it was a combat thing. And the only people who even know are the Titans.

Sam looks back to the city and she's about to rip his helmet off herself. He gave the woman a paper with a chess move and a code. The code was Robin, he asked for Nightwing. That's what Gar said before he left tonight with the Titans. Red Hood knows where Molly lives, he has Sam's phone number and clearly knows about the combat clairvoyance. There is one person who would know all of that and he's dead. So, this is getting a bit frustrating and concerning.

"Why are you acting like you know me?" Sam huffs as she looks back at him.

He's leaning with an elbow on the ledge, his weight shifted to his right leg. He's standing so casually and it's almost familiar but at this point, Sam thinks she's just fooling herself. She can't do this.

"Yeah, I'm leaving." Sam pushes off the ledge and starts to walk off but he grabs her arm gently.

She stops and looks at his hand on her arm. He's wearing brother leather gloves that match his jacket. This feels familiar, too and Sam swears anything would feel familiar because she's desperate. It's just the desperation and the grief. But, it feels familiar and she hates it.

"Wait." He says. "Don't go, alright?" He drops his hand and Sam lets out a sigh, leaning back against the ledge.

"Fine." Sam lets out a sigh and goes back to looking at the city. "Can you just tell me what the truck is going on, please?" She asks and Jason can hear the desperation in her voice. "I have had a shit fucking week and I just....would like to go back to bed." Sam lets out a sigh. She's tired of the games.

Jason hangs his head and he knows she's going to lose it. She's going to be mad and he's going to have to deal with it. He really, desperately wishes he would have taken the drug before he walked up here. It'd definitely be nice right about now. But, he swore, if he was going to do this, he'd have to do it this way because Sam would figure it out. That's not the plan and at the end of day, he came back knowing he'd never involve her. She has to know and he wishes this were easier.

But, he takes off the helmet anyway.

"Please, don't be mad, Sammy."