chapter nine
the scent of his secrets.

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My knees wobbled before I slipped back down, leaning against the rack. The comfortable silence of the library was splintered by his sobs.

I wanted to reach out, steady his shoulder, but my muscles were frozen in place. "Raven... what's-what's wrong?"

My fingers twitched, but they couldn't move.

Raven curled tighter, his sobs a painful sound in the library-something that didn't belong here.

He looked so small now.

Not like the boy who had confidently taken over my game.

Not like the boy who had chuckled knowingly when I told him being flattened by a Duraludon was a tactical move.

Not like the boy who read maps like he was a professional cartographer.

Not like the Raven who danced with me on the stairs of an abandoned auditorium.

This was a boy who everyone isolated.

Who was called a killer.

Who always wore a hood... perhaps to hide himself.

But he...

He was someone broken.

And I hated myself for hesitating.

Eventually, I reached out. Moved inch by inch until my hand hovered over his trembling back. The books were quieter than usual now, holding their breath until I let it fall.

He flinched but didn't move away.

"You don't have to talk now, Raven," I whispered, fearing anything louder might shatter him. "But don't... push me away yet."

I felt his breath catch in his throat through my palm. He didn't answer.

So I stayed there, on the cold library floor that once felt welcoming.

Shifting closer, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, resting my chin on top of his hair.

Time was slower now, seconds merely ticking by. The librarian didn't disturb us. I had a feeling that she knew something I didn't. Something that was on the verge of spilling.

He was still warm, still trembling, but when the sun dipped down and the chandelier lights bathed the library in a yellow glow, his breathing shallowed. Assuming he had fallen asleep, I pulled back a little and sat back down on my knees.

"I remember everything, Serena." His voice was low, so soft that I had to strain my ears.

"The fire. The heat. The flames. He dived in to save... Red. I just chased him. Red blacked out on me, but I managed to drag him out of the ring, but he didn't follow. In the end-the end-"

His breathing turned ragged, and he doubled over on his knees. Panic burned my blood, and I tried reaching for him again, but he jerked away, shrinking and blanching.

"They didn't make it..." I completed for him, sitting back on my knees. Something thick blanketed over us. I didn't rush to break it; he didn't move a muscle. His heavy breathing filled the empty stillness until he collapsed on his stomach.

I dropped beside him, heart hammering in a rhythm that wasn't medically advised, for sure. Carefully, I turned his head to the side so that he wouldn't suffocate against the hard floor. His face was flushed-wet with tears, sweat, and pain-but his eyes were wide, unfocused, and dazed.

"Raven?" I said softly, voice cracking. "You've been roaming around, always looking down, for too long."

He didn't say anything. Just stared at me for a long moment before sitting up.

"You didn't kill them. He-whoever it was-sacrificed himself for you. And Red... it isn't your fault. You did bring him back."

He looked like he had aged ten years within a few minutes. "I wish to believe that." But then he looked down with his bloodshot, weary eyes. "I'm so, so tired." His voice cracked open something within me. I pulled him back into the embrace.

"You could use somebody, you know."

Nothing. Not even a bat of the eye. Not an arm around. Somewhere beyond, the old grandfather clock struck a point, the ancient sound resonating sadly.

"S-someone like you."

My grip tightened around his neck, the words hanging unanswered in the air. At some point, he hugged me back, sinking into my shoulder. I didn't know how long we sat like that. Just when the librarian left after a soft call to lock the doors later.

"I made a mess, didn't I?" he choked through his tears, dabbing at his eyes with the back of his hand. I shook my head, trying to give him as much strength as I could with my smile.

"You've bottled that up for too long. It's only fair that you vent out."

"It's what you do to me."

I offered him my kerchief, but he shook his head and stood up, extending a hand with a grin that I didn't expect to see so soon on him. "I'll walk you home, Serena."

I obliged, let myself be pulled up by him. We dusted our clothes. "It's probably too late now. Mama will throw a fit if I go home now. It's better I stay in the girls' dormitory tonight."

His smile faded, replaced by guilt.

"Nonsense," I waved him off. "We don't have the time to be sorry. Why don't I walk you home instead?"

Raven ran a hand through his hair. "About that... I don't have anywhere to go..."

"Where do you stay the night out?"

"Here."

Before I could register what he was rambling, his fingers had interwoven with mine like they were made for this. We tripped, collided, yet somehow made it through a stairwell-the one that was supposedly restricted.

Once we reached the door, he fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a key. Eyes still on the keyhole and with a soft smile, he whispered, "Don't mind the mess inside too."

"I've seen worse."

The door clicked open, and he let me in first. He didn't lock it behind us.

"This is the librarian's quarters," he informed, sheepishly. "But benefit of the ex-principal's son."

I turned to him, crossing my arms. This boy had more to him than messy bedrooms and breakdowns. "Raven."

He groaned, eyes averted. "The he, Serena. It was him. The principal. My father."

I nodded.

"...Okay."

"...Okay?"

"Yeah. Figures."

He blinked, clearly startled, but then his eyes dropped, examining me like I was wearing a very odd outfit. Then he let out a breathy chuckle. "Wait here."

The boy left toward a creaking cupboard. I took the minute to breathe, to look around the cramped space.

It looked small, tight, but clearly cozy and lived in. A half-read novel sat on the windowsill facing the cityscape outside, spine up. A small cot sat to the side of the cupboard Raven was rummaging through, and there was a desk with notes tossed all over.

"Here."

I looked over my shoulder to find him offering a hoodie shyly-dark grey with a pocket that looked like it had held more than just balled-up fists and sneaky secrets.

"I figured you'd need a shower and something warmer to change into than a dripping shirt."

I gaped at it. It wasn't like I didn't want it-I did-rather that the shadows in his eyes had lightened a little.

I accepted it.

"Don't mind if I do."

He shook his head and brushed past me to the tiny kitchenette. "I'll make something while you're in there."

"You cook?"

"Better than I look."

I returned his grin and skipped down to where he said the shower was, hidden behind the cupboard of secrets. Once in, I noticed a fading lavender soap and towels that were folded a little too neatly. Under the warm stream, I finally could take a breather.

Boy, was I in too deep now.

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Next up, Serena faces a challenge she doesn't see coming. Her classroom, her friends and the truth masked behind lies and rumors.

Thank you for reading!

Miyoko x