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Chapter 21: Uncertainty

We didn't hear from Maggie or the ghosts the rest of the day, giving us a nice reprieve from the grave issues in life. When we boarded the car, I said something about needing to find Devin some clothes to which he had replied by asking if I didn't like him wearing mine. Of course I didn't mind, I had told himwhich he followed up by saying, Alright, then let me borrow them until I start working and can buy my own. I relented easily as I kind of liked the idea of him using my wardrobe...and also, we really did need food.

Because of my stay in the ward, this last paycheck was less than usual and there were now two mouths to feed for another week. If it had just been me, I could have made due with a few packs of ramen and a gallon of milk, but I really didn't want to stretch Devin thin especially considering his huge appetite. My own appetite was starting to come back as well. So we had gone to the grocery store and picked up a lot of canned food, hot dogs, pasta, a bag of potatoes...just a lot of cheap yet filling stuff. We made it back to the apartment around four pm and immediately started contemplating what to do with the rest of the evening.

"You know, I'm pretty easy-going," Devin laughed as he pulled another can of chili out of the plastic shopping bag and placed it in the cabinet, "You don't have to worry about keeping me entertained. I just appreciate you letting me stay here...feeding me and all."

"Sorry," I scratched the back of my neck, "I guess I'm not used to having guests is all."

"Well, I mean hopefully your boss will hire me so I'll have a job and can pay rent," he continued, "That way you don't feel so obligated. I mean," he rotated to set sights on me, "If you still don't mind being roommates."

"Not at all. I just wish-" I stopped abruptly, realizing I was about to finish by saying you didn't have to sleep on the couch. My thought was that I wished there was another bedroom in the apartment, but in light of recent events, was afraid that it would be taken as an invitation to sleep in my bed with me and I hadn't quite thought about going that far with Devin yet.

"What's wrong?" he cocked his head to the side in confusion as he set the grocery bag in his hand back on the counter.

I shook my head and smiled, "I was just thinking it might be a good idea to upgrade to a two bedroom apartment. Wouldn't feel right to charge rent when you're just sleeping on the sofa."

Devin grinned deviously, making me feel as if he might have guessed what other thoughts about our sleeping arrangements had crossed my mind. He turned back around and kept unloading the food, "Makes sense, especially if that means you're more comfortable."

It was no doubt bait for me to reveal more so I forced myself not to speak at all for a while to be sure I didn't bring up a topic that I wasn't yet ready for. Devin didn't push either. He and I simply finished stocking the cabinets and made our way back to the living room to watch TV. After about an hour or so, though, yelling from next door interrupted us. My first instinct was to just turn the volume up on the television as living in cheap complexes had made me desensitized to such things and dealing with slumlords taught me that reporting did no good. However, Devin had a different approach...he grabbed the remote before I could and lowered its sound.

"This happens all the time," I assured him, "Just ignore it."

He cut his eyes at me, "What do you think they're fighting about? All I've heard is cunt this and bitch that."

"I don't know. I really don't care," I sighed and reached for the remote, which he simply moved out of my way. "Dev-" I started to complain, cut short by the voices in the apartment next to us getting even louder as they stepped out into the hall.

"YOU SHOULD BE! IT'S YOUR OWN GODDAMN FAULT!" the man growled at the woman who was sobbing loudly.

Devin stood up from the couch and sauntered determinedly up to my door and began opening it. I tried calling his name again, but he ignored me.

"The fuck you lookin' at, boy?" the man's attention flew to Devin the moment the door was open.

Jesus fucking Christ. I jumped up from my seat and ran after my friend, placing hands on his shoulders and gently tugging, "Please just leave it alone," I pleaded.

I was just barely able to see a woman on the other side of my neighbor, crouched down and picking up what looked to be dresses that could only fit a small child. Tears were streaming down her face and she hadn't taken any notice of us at all.

"Is this asshole hurting you?" Devin peered around the man that was huffing in front of him and asked the woman.

"It wasn't my fault!" the woman cried, finally looking up with a soaked face as she claimed the last article of clothing. "I had just checked on her! The house was locked! The windows were locked!"

"You fucking bitch!" the man was facing her and belting again, "If you hadn't kicked me out, I would have been there to protect her!"

Just as the man took a forceful step closer to what I presumed was his ex, Devin reached out and took a firm hold of the angry father's arms and held him back. My friend was instantly met with a struggle as the man's rage shifted direction from the woman and to the stranger that was holding him. The guy was larger and older than Devin yet Devin was apparently stronger. The two spun around in an uneven circle, rocking back and forth as each tried to keep their sway over the other.

I found myself backpedaling, not wanting to be part of the fight and at the same time wanting to help. I looked past them to see that the mother had risen from the floor and was on her way to the stairs, occasionally glancing back...she was still sobbing. My sights found the two other men again. "Devin! She's gone, just leave him alone."

The energy behind his eyes burned of anger and adrenaline as he cut them back at me, obviously hoping for a fight. I only made sure my eyes were sad and begging instead of making him feel in any way that I was ordering him around as surely that would just increase his fury. He finally grunted, his eyes slitting while he simultaneously relented by letting go of the man and shoving him away. The guy tried to move back toward Devin who simply stopped him altogether by landing a punch straight into his cheek. It was forceful enough to cause the man to lose his balance and hit the wall next to him, almost falling onto his ass.

"Calm the fuck down," Devin growled, pointing at the man for a few moments before finally spinning around to throw a hand over my shoulder and scoot the two of us back inside.

Only after we were safely behind a locked door did I pull away from his friendly hold and plop myself onto the couch, my posture sullen.

"What's wrong?" he asked, keeping the same attitude he had had during handling the arguing neighbors as he resumed his position next to me.

What's wrong? I repeated mockingly in my mind yet outwardly, only shook my head. Besides the fact he interjected himself into a fight needlessly, he had completely ignored anything I'd said...he hadn't take me into account. And on top of that, I had realized what that couple was fighting about...they were parents of one of the children Freddy had murdered...one of the children who had only died because of me.

"Mark?" his voice became hushed as he put a hand on my shoulder and rubbed it.

I immediately rose, tearing from the kind gesture and began walking to my bedroom, "I don't feel like this right now."

I actually expected him to rush after me, spin me around and say something to smooth things over, but without fuss, I made it to my mattress and hurled myself on top of it. Part of me was glad he didn't do anything to stop me so I could have time to think and another part wished he had...and after a bit of consideration, I realized that second portion was my weak side...the side that had fallen so easily for him and the side that had longed for love and for understanding my entire life. But that wasn't what was important here, was it? Children were dying. Innocence was being stolen, destroyed, because I had been stupid in my selfishness. Why was I letting him distract me from fixing my horrendous mistake? That fatal flaw. No, I couldn't do this. If there was something for me with Devin, it would have to wait. For now, Krueger was the only man who'd have my focus.

I don't know at what time it happened, but I wound up in slumber after tiring intervals of forcing my thoughts away from Devin, listening for any movement in the other rooms, and numbing my own feelings. I should have used my free time in the dream realm to do something that would help bring Freddy down when I was finally able to find him, but instead of trying to practice jumping into the unconscious thoughts of others, I once more was trapped inside my own memory. I knew I was there and yet I couldn't really remember what I had seen. I felt pain and fear...I sensed my mother and my foster parents were amidst the confusing agony, yet as I awoke, feeling nothing but dread and terror, I hadn't a good recollection of what I experienced during the nightmare. All I knew is that I woke with landing a punch in Devin's throat like I had been fighting him in my sleep.

"Mark! Mark!" the man called desperately, his voice having weakened from my blow, but quickly regaining its strength.

I inhaled sharply after the feeling of having my breath knocked out of me passed. My eyes shot open and I could see Devin over me, a knee on other side of my thighs as he held me down by my wrists. I looked up at him, gasping for air, vision darting from him to the room around us in a fit of paranoia.

"Mark, try to breathe. Just breathe; it's ok," the man on top of me soothed through the obvious disturbance in his own person. When he saw that I was with him- understanding his words and trying to calm myself, he let go of my arms and crawled off to sit beside me on the bed.

"What-" I breathed, pulling myself into a seated position and resting my sight on him again.

"I don't know, man," his brow furrowed in concern, "I was in the living room and heard you groaning. I came to the door and asked if you were ok, but you didn't say anything. Looked like you were asleep. I got closer to you and you screamed and started thrashing about like you were having a seizure or something. I was almost going to call the hospital until you sat up and punched me..."

"I-" I shook my head, "I'm sorry...I...I know I've had really bad nightmares and sleep paralysis, but I don't remember anything..."

"Hey," he smiled reassuringly, ducking his head to prompt me to look at him, "It's ok. Are you ok?"

I nodded slowly even though I wasn't really sure that I was.

"That's good..." his grin fell, "I'm sorry about earlier...I know I should have listened to you...It's just..."

"It's ok," I returned, "We both have our issues. What's important is right now, right?"

Staring blankly at my smiling face, he blinked once before leaning in quickly and planting his lips on top of mine.

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