onceuponalivie and I are working on a project on Mercury and she kept bugging me to post it. So here is our old version:
Mercury:
A boring planet
If you try to go you are guaranteed not to survive
Moon ripoff
It's too hot, you'll melt
You won't be able to walk 20 feet without falling into a hole
You will be blinded by the Sun because you are that close
If you land on the other side, you will freeze to death
If you land, be ready for claustrophobia to occur
The people reading this will 99.9% DIE before the technology is able to go to Mercury
You will be floating
Loss of oxygen
Your face will fall off
It's too cold, you'll freeze into a souvenir
About 1.25 days in 1 year
The moons ran away from Mercury because it's too boring
It's too far from Earth