"Sorry, what?" My racing mind screeched to a halt. Livia had my full attention.

"Pregnant. I'm pregnant." Her posture deflated, and she sank back down onto the couch. "And I think you need help."

Clearly, but I ignored that second part for a second. "How?" She looked at me like I'd just asked a teacher to detail the finer points of sex ed. "I meant I thought you were on birth control. I thought you were on the pill."

"I was, but I took antibiotics for a UTI. I didn't even think about it." When I didn't respond, she continued. "Antibiotics lessen the effectiveness of birth control pills."

I still didn't respond. This was the absolute last thing I needed right now.

"And it's not like we were careful."

"You said we didn't need to use anything else." Over text, after my clean bill of health from the doctor, who insisted on STD testing when I had that little scratch. Besides, condoms took away from the pleasure. "This is on you."

Her whole body tensed, eyes blazing. "This is on me? Really, Wes? That's all you have to say?"

"Sorry." I didn't need to piss her off, too. My eyes landed back on the fish, their familiar routines lulling my brain back into working order. I took two more breaths through my nose, swallowed, then turned to Livia, reaching out for her hand to appear supportive. "You're right. I'll pay for the abortion."

She snatched her hand back so fast it scratched. "I'm not getting an abortion."

"What? Of course you are." This was nonnegotiable. My finger tapped against the couch. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

"Absolutely not." She didn't break eye contact, even as she shifted further away.

Tap. Tap. Tap. "Why? You religious or something?" Because she'd only seem interested in one religious experience so far.

"No." She scoffed. "I just... I just want the baby. I'm ready for it."

"Well, I'm not." I popped to my feet and began pacing. "So you can't have this baby."

"I can and I will." She sat Egyptian-statue still, hands on her knees, glaring.

"I'd make a terrible father." Even if my life wasn't falling apart.

"Then sign your rights away. I don't care." She stood up. "But you're on the hook for child support."

Oh, fuck me. I could barely access my money right now, yet she expected child support for a baby I didn't want or need? "Then you're on the hook for a paternity test!"

"No problem." With a look of pure malice, she turned to go. "Expect a call from my lawyer."

"Wait! Livia!" I still needed her help, then I could convince her to have the abortion. "Don't go yet!"

"Why?" She crossed her arms.

"Let me grab something before you go." I still hadn't grabbed the cash, the whole reason I'd come here to begin with. "One sec." Before she could protest, I darted to my bedroom, sinking to my knees in front of the safe and to punch in the code.

It beeped in error.

My heart sped up, fingers shaking. No problem, just punched it in wrong. I tried the code again.

Beep! Error. One more time. Beep! Error.

I banged my fist on top of the safe. "Open, goddamn it!" The fucking smart home system controlled it, just like everything else. "Eve, open the safe."

Polly popped up on the bedroom screen with an evil grin. "What's the matter? Can't get into the safe?"

I kept my eyes on the screen. "Unlock it."

Polly spun around magical girl-style as a princess gown appeared on her body. From the left, WesToon rode in a horse, dressed as a knight. "Want more cash? Earn more XP."

Oh, my fucking god.

A dragon descended from the top-right corner, breathing fire. WesToon and Polly attacked immediately, swords clanging.

"Wes?" Livia called from the living room.

Good. She should see this. "Just a second!" Rocking back on my heels, I pulled out my phone and selected the app. "How much XP do I have?"

A pop-up window sprang up.

XP: 2663

I squinted at the phone. "But I didn't even get $2,500 the other day."

"Because you've earned more since then!" WesToon stabbed the dragon and began celebrating as the beast stumbled around. "Check your bank account! You'll see I've added a little more to reflect your current XP!" The dragon righted itself and bit WesToon's head off.

I fell back onto the bed, hyperventilating.

"Wes!" Livia stalked into the room, taking one look at me clutching my phone with the PollyGot app showing. She froze. "I thought you deleted that."

Of course the bird had fled from the bedroom screen the moment Livia entered. "I did." I drew my legs up and wrapped my arms around them. No money without practice. Where did the money go? How was she withholding it from me?

"Yet, there it is." She edged backwards, eyes narrowed. "I don't totally understand what's going on here, and I don't think I want to. Don't contact me. We're through." Then she spun on her heel. "If you have anything to say, tell it to the lawyer," she called over her shoulder as she fled.

"No, wait" I jumped off the bed and chased after her. "I need a ride!"

"You're out of your mind!" She kept walking. "And here I thought you were just an asshole," she muttered, more to herself.

Since she was almost at the door, I left the comment slide. I lunged forward, grabbing her right wrist. "I said, stop!"

She tried to jerk back, but I gripped harder, desperate. I needed her to believe me, needed a lifeline out of this. "Just listen!"

"I'm done listening to you, Wes!" She swung her wrist around in a little circle to break my hold. Then, with her other hand, she scratched me clear across the face.

"Ah!" I yelled, more surprised than anything else. It stung.

"Fuck off!" She stumbled back, tripping over the bag in the open doorway and kicking it aside as she ran to her car. "Leave me alone!"

Bitch! I scrambled to grab the door before it closed. "Hold on!" I held my left palm against my face. Bitch or not, I was desperate for help.

But she ignored me and peeled off, leaving me alone with my nightmare.

I hadn't even asked about Hannah.

Fixing the bag to keep the door propped open, I wandered back into the house, debating my next move.

The home audio system burst to life with celebratory music as Polly passed out cigars on screen, one to a recapitated WesToon and one to the dragon. They toasted pixelated glasses of champagne. "Félicitations!"

I ignored the scene, processing. I could not be a father. Impossible. However, one thing at a time.

I trudged back to the bedroom to grab a suitcase, clothing, and a few toiletries. One more night at the hotel, and I should be able to get help at work tomorrow. I could ask for a cash advance against my salary as long as I proved my bank was withholding my money. And since it'd only been two business days, perhaps I may be able to access the rest of the money soon anyway, regardless of XP. If I could access the 50k in my checking account, it'd be plenty for now. I could worry about the high-yield savings account later.

With this in mind, I went to the bathroom to grab supplies and clean off my face. "Eve, lights."

Polly popped up. I figured she would, but still. "Dis-le en français!"

Fuck no. I was so goddamn tired of French. I touched the screen to adjust the lighting manually, receiving a small electric shock the moment my fingertips brushed the screen. "Ow!"

"En français!" she repeated, more forcefully this time.

I grit my teeth, sucking air in through the gaps. I knew this one from all the practice lately. "Lumières!"

"Your accent sucks." She tutted, but the lights flicked on.

I gasped at my reflection in the mirror. Besides my haggard appearance, Livia had drawn blood. "Warm water." I said, out of habit.

"En français!" Polly grabbed WesToon's hands, twirling around on the top observation deck of the Eiffel tower as it erupted from the ground beneath them.

I grabbed the faucet lever instead, a slightly larger shock making me spring back. "Jesus!"

"Dis-le en putain de français!" She cawed merrily, still dancing.

For fuck's sake! I didn't get all of that sentence, but I knew she wanted it in French. At least this one was simple, too. "L'eau chaude."

The water turned on and I stuck my hands under the faucet. Boiling hot. I yanked them out, fingertips red.

"Froid!" I yelled. I waited a moment and tested it with my pinky. Now it was freezing. With a grimace, I splashed some water up on my cheek, smearing the blood around. Goddamn it. "Chaud et froid!" I yelled. Testing with my fingertip, it turned boiling. Then right back to freezing. Then boiling again. Accordion music began to play.

I hated this fucking bird.

"Turn the water off," I growled, grabbing the rubbing alcohol and cotton balls under the sink.

"En français!" Polly crooked a wing, hooking it in WesToon's arm and turning the dance into a Dosey Doe. It didn't look very French.

The water continued running. Shit. She'd probably flood the place if I didn't turn it off, but I didn't know that phrase. I tried stop instead. "Arrêt!"

"Pushing it!" She swung WesToon around the other way. "But I'll allow this one." The water turned off.

I soaked the cotton ball and dabbed it on my face. Motherfucker, that stung! Motherfucker. If Livia had my child, would that make me a motherfucker?

Laughter erupted from my sternum like a runaway train. I slid down to the floor, back against the door, howling and roaring until it hurt, holding my stomach until it turned to sobbing.

The bathroom screen flashed with a notification.

Acheter des mouchoirs!

I laughed again because what the fuck did that mean? Then I wiped my nose with the back of my hand, sobbing and laughing intermittently until I heard another voice.

"Wes? You in there, buddy?"

Holy shit, Max! Except I wasn't his buddy. I scrambled up to my feet and burst out of the bathroom.

And then I heard a slam.

"Weeeees?"

Oh, no. Oh, god. Oh no, no, no, no, no!

I raced through the hallway to the living room, where Max stood with the front door closed behind him, the duffle bag shoved aside.

"What the fuck did you do?" I pushed past him to the door.

"Look, I know you think I–"

"The goddamn door, asshole." I grabbed the handle and yanked. "You closed the fucking door!"

His eyebrows knit together. "Then open it?"

Electronic lock. It wouldn't open, and I knew it. "What does it look like I'm trying to do?" I yanked again.

"You need to put in the code." It came out patronizing, slowly, with small words only.

"Oh, thanks. That didn't occur to me." I used the same tone, punching in the numbers on the keypad.

Beep! Error. Just like the safe.

"Did you forget the code?" Again with the tone. "You look like shit, Wes. Is everything okay?"

"Everything is definitely not okay." I clenched my jaw, seething. "Besides, I can't forget the code."

"Why? Is it one, two, three, four or something?" He had the nerve to laugh, but I didn't respond. "You're fucking kidding me."

"I never reset the interior code. Why bother? Eve usually unlocks it."

That asshole took a step back, no longer laughing. He shifted his weight awkwardly. "Ask her to open it for you."

My fists curled. "Eve, unlock the front door."

The only response? A giggle.

Max turned around, scanning the room. "What was that? And what's with the music?"

"Eve! Unlock the front door!" I tried one more time, just to be sure, just to prove my point.

"En français!" The music changed to the French national anthem.

Max's eyes widened. "What the fuck?"

"Bienvenu, Max!" Polly popped up on the main screen.

"What the fuck?" he repeated stupidly, like I didn't hear him the first time.

"Ouvrez le porte!" I screamed.

"So close!" Polly giggled.

"Ouvres le port!" I tried again.

Polly clapped, and an avatar of Max popped up on the screen. He and WesToon launched into a complicated high-five routine.

Max stared at me. "That's, that's not supposed to happen. How is this happening?"

"Jesus, I don't know, Max. Maybe it's something you did?" I bit the words off. "Le port!" I banged against the front door with my fists. "Ouvrir!"

The screen went black as two words popped up.

WEEKEND CHALLENGE!

We were dead.

Word Count: 2081
Total: 28,023