the pilot; ❛ PORCELAIN DOLL ❜
❝ I worry about her sometimes ❞

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Regina Gilbert's parents were dead.

Unfortunately, her sister was alive.

Do not get her wrong, Regina loved Elena to death. She was sweet, kind-hearted, and genuine. That was why all of the spotlight had always been solely on her. To Regina's displeasure, that included the death of their parents. The night of the accident was all about Elena. The morning after was all about Elena. The funeral was all about Elena. The three months after that? They were obviously all about Elena.

Regina liked to tell herself that things would be different if Elena was never in the car with them. But, if she was never in the car with them then they would still be alive. Regina got up to get some water when she saw her parents putting their jackets on. When she asked them where they were going so late at night, her father told her that they were just picking Elena up from a party. So, Regina went to bed with no clue that she was never going to see them again.

Jeremy had so much attention on him because he became troubled over the summer. He was rarely home and when he was, he did not talk to anyone. When he was out, he was doing who knows what with who knows who. Elena had so much attention on her because she grieved over her parents openly (unlike Regina, who bottled up her sadness and only cried when she was alone) and because she was there when it happened.

And Regina? Well, the only person who she thought cared was her aunt Jenna. The two of them were always close. Jenna was her mom's younger sister and ten years older than Regina. Sometimes, it felt like she was her older sister rather than her aunt, but it was obvious that Jenna was trying to change that. She became their legal guardian and dropped everything in her life to take care of the three of them. She was forced to get her life together sooner than she planned to take over as their mother figure and therefore become a single parent to three kids who were a decade younger than her.

Jenna knocked on the door of Regina's already open bedroom. The fifteen-year-old looked at her wide-eyed, surprised that the loud noise snapped her out of her trance-like state.

"Are you okay?" The question slipped out of Jenna's lips before Regina could even form a greeting in her head.

"I'm great." Regina smiled and immediately looked away from her aunt. She was scared that she had a tell and that people could tell when she was lying. She was oblivious to the fact that that became her tell; she could never look the person who she was lying to in the eye. She picked up her lipstick from the table and did not even look behind her when she asked, "Do you need anything?"

Her tone was blunt and nonchalant, making Jenna's eyebrows furrow. She did not expect her to be so casual about leaving the house and going to school after barely leaving the house the entire summer.

"I just saw Archie pull up in front of the house." Jenna said, "Do you want me to call him in while you finish getting ready?"

"Yeah." Regina smiled. The smile was so genuine that it terrified Jenna a little. "Thanks."

Jenna nodded, even though Regina was looking at her reflection in the mirror and not her, and left back downstairs.

Regina continued applying her makeup. She heard Archie walk into her house downstairs and then heard Jenna offer him coffee. She realized that they were in no hurry so she slowly looked for a good pair of shoes and started packing her school bag. She picked up her keys and walked toward the bedroom door. In that moment, she finally started picking up on the conversation happening between Jenna and her best friend Archie downstairs.

"I worry about her sometimes," Jenna admitted to him quietly, unaware that Regina could hear their entire conversation. "She is not like Jeremy and Elena. One minute she is happy and full of life and the next she's... not. I can handle the bursts of excitement and the fact that she often ignores how much her life changed since last summer. It's the calm moments that bother me. Sometimes, she just goes quiet." She sighs. "I can never tell what is going on inside of her head."

Regina swallowed. She loudly shut the door to her bedroom to let her aunt know she was coming. Jenna grew quiet immediately and Archie never answered her.

"Morning, Arch." Regina grinned at her best friend when she walked down the stairs.

Archie breathed out, the thought look on his face quickly being replaced by a blissful smile. "Hey, Gina." He cleared his throat so he sounded more grounded when he spoke up again. "Are you ready to go?"

Regina nodded and grabbed the flask filled with coffee on the table. She placed a kiss on Jenna's cheek, missing the fond but concerned smile on her face after she pulled back to grab her keys.

"Drive safe." Jenna told Archie sternly. Regina's mood went sour. Their entire family started being more cautious around cars since that night. Archie spent the entire summer trying to teach her to drive so she could get her driver's license soon but she was not getting anywhere.

Archie sent a tight-lipped smile her way and assured her, "Yes, Ma'am."

Jenna physically cringed at the title. She rapidly shook her head. "No. I am not that old, Archie."

Regina's heart melted when she saw his reaction. He titled his head, not a thought behind his eyes. "Are you not thirty?"

"I am twenty-eight!" Jenna exclaimed, looking horrified. She faltered, her eyes widening even further. "Wait... is thirty old for you two?"

"Kind of." Regina said with an apologetic smile on her face. "But, don't worry, you don't look a day over twenty."

Even though she claimed that she loved all of her sister's children equally, she would always have the biggest soft spot for Regina. She had that effortless charm to her that came with her kindness. She was witty and intelligent but equally nice. Sometimes, she was so nice that she overlooked her feelings in favor of everyone else's. She reminded Jenna of her sister when she was younger and she could never stay annoyed at her for long either.

"Sure." Jenna rolled her eyes but there was no heat in the action. "Hurry up. You will be late."

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When Regina arrived at Mystic Falls High, she quickly lost Archie to Matt and Tyler. Not that she minded, she could not bear to have him around her because the day was stressful without him in it. The entire summer, he either walked on eggshells around her whenever they talked about something or he would talk about Caroline Forbes. She would not mind if she managed to get over him when he first fell for the blonde. Unfortunately, Caroline was genuinely perfect and made it impossible for Regina to hate her.

Unlike Archie, Madelaine Kook was a saint. She managed to become the one person who did not suffocate Regina with her presence. She expected nothing else. Sure, Madelaine had an enormous ego and often talked about herself but her heart was much bigger. In all honesty, Regina was glad that she never pressured her into talking about herself because she hated those questions.

It was always: "How are you?", "Are you better now?", "Do you want to talk about it?". It drove her insane.

She cried about her parents. Of course, she did. She could barely make it through the funeral without crying. Every once in a while, Regina would not be able to sleep and she would start thinking about how different things were now that her parents were dead. Then, she would cry herself to sleep and act completely fine the following day.

Grieving was something that Regina liked to do alone.

"So, I just told him I was a lesbian." Madelaine continued rambling about a story from a party that they went to the night before.

Regina let out a shocked laugh."After you made out with him?"

"He was too stunned to question it." Madelaine chuckled.

"Was Archie too drunk to drive you home?" Regina asked her and opened her locker. She took out a single notebook out of her bag before placing it into her locker.

Madelaine's eyebrows furrowed. "Didn't he drive you home?"

Regina faltered and raised her eyebrows, confused. "No? Cleo and I were wasted and ended up walking to the Grill and eating pizza."

Madelaine opened her mouth to say something but something behind Regina caught her eye. Regina tilted her head and quickly turned around before her best friend could even warn her. What the fuck?

"Are you okay?" Madelaine asked her with a genuinely sad look in her eyes.

Regina swallowed and looked back at her. "No, but I don't want to talk about this now. I have class and I have to at least have good grades this year because it already sucks. I'll see you later."

"Text me to find you during lunch." Madelaine said and gave her a quick hug before Regina stormed down the hallway to her classroom, fighting the tears in her eyes.

Regina Gilbert did not cry in front of people.