Client: jennasuits91

Reviewer: lantea-

🌹》Title, Cover, & Blurb

The title fits the story and it attracts readers. The title is also capitalized correctly. The cover art is very pretty! The font used for the title doesn't seem to match with the rest of the cover though. The text on the cover is also a little too small. The blurb introduces the story very well and draws readers into the story. It gives enough information about the book to make readers want to read it without giving too much away about the plot. The blurb also flows very well and was easy to read.

🌹》Plot

The plot of the story is very clear and easy to understand. It's very engaging and it draws the readers in. The ending lines of your chapters are very good! They draw readers in and make them want to instantly keep reading to see what happens. I really liked the "He shrugs. 'Then I kill you.'" ending line from Chapter 1 (Part 2) as well as the "I'm dead now, nothing more than a ghost... who has somehow been murdered by a book." line from Chapter 2 (Part 2). The mystery in the story is also very intriguing. I really want to know what happened to Riley's parents. I'm also curious if she'll find a way to be able to use magic. The plot is progressing at a very good pace. The introduction to Aurelia is very well done. There's a lot of world building and it's clear you put a lot of thought into the development of Aurelia. The information about the world is worked into the story well. Everything is clearly explained and the information isn't overwhelming. The exposition also introduced the characters and their situations very well.

In response to your questions at the end of Chapter 5 (Part 3): I think the world building in chapters 3, 4, and 5 is very well done. I think it's better to have Riley arrive in Echo Forest rather than straight at the manor. It gives the readers, and Riley, a chance to get to know the world as she makes the journey to her ancestral home. I enjoyed the fun scenes and learning about the magic in this world! I don't think the pacing was too slow during these chapters and I think changing it to her arriving directly at the manor would make the pacing feel too fast. I also don't think you should remove the kelpie scene! It helped build the world and I liked the introduction of Patrick during that scene.

In response to your questions at the end of Chapter 10 (Part 2): I like the magic system! It's very interesting how the magic varies between the species in Aurelia. I think it is intuitive enough. I'm excited to see more of Riley's magic training!

In response to your question about any areas that dipped in pacing/tension: I think the only part that dipped in pacing and tension for me was back at the community home when Riley meets Clem. I felt like the tension and pacing dipped when she ran from him and made her way up to the roof. I know she needed to discover what was in the box in order to get to Aurelia and get away from Clem, but the pacing slowed down and the tension from the confrontation with him in the office melted away.

🌹》Characters

The characters are introduced and described very well. Their personalities are also shown very well throughout the chapters. The characters are all unique and are developed well. It's easy to connect to the characters and for the readers to decide which characters they like or don't. Riley is an interesting character and it's easy for the readers to connect with her and want to read about her journey. The house is also an interesting character and I like that it has its own personality (and that it clearly favors Riley lol). I hope we get to learn more about the house as well.

🌹》Grammar/Spelling

I didn't notice any spelling or grammar errors in the chapters and the tense was consistent.

🌹》Writing Style

The writing style is consistent throughout the chapters and it's very well done. Information and descriptions are worked into the story well. There is a lot of information for you to impart on the reader so they can understand the world and you work it well into the story. It never felt like the information was being dumped on the readers and it was easy to understand. The descriptions were very well done; it was very easy to picture everything in the story. I also liked how Riley's personality was shown throughout the narration. The writing style reminded me of Percy Jackson with the little quips and humorous comments in the narrations. The chapters were a good length, I think you did a good job dividing up the chapters where you did for the different parts. The phrasing was easy for readers to understand and everything flowed very well.

🌹》Enjoyment

The story was enjoyable and I would definitely read on! If you had more chapters posted, I don't think I would have stopped myself from continuing reading. I can't wait to see more of Riley's journey in Aurelia and what happens to her. I also want to know what happened to her parents. I hope we get to see Patrick again in the story! I quite liked him and his chattiness haha! I also hope Alistair and Mikhail get what's coming to them; they're quite rude. I also don't trust Alistair, he seems to be up to something. I also hope Prunella's situation is able to improve. In Chapter 10 (Part 2), Horsewood mentioning Mikhail training to be the next Witch Guardian was interesting. I can't wait to find out if he's actually having the dreams or not since Riley was having strange dreams, which I assume are related to the guardian role.

🌹》Overall

Overall, the story is intriguing and clearly well-thought-out. The plot is developed and has a clear direction. The plot and mystery draws readers in and makes them want to keep reading. The world is introduced and described well. It's easy for the readers to understand and it's a very interesting world. The characters are also developed and introduced well in the story. The characters' personalities are shown well throughout the chapters. Riley is an interesting character and I love how you showed her personality throughout the narration. The writing style was very well done. Everything flowed smoothly and was easy to understand. Good luck with your story!