Reviewer: lantea-

Client: AngeBlancRose

🌹》Title, Cover, & Blurb

The title fits the story and attracts readers. The cover is very cute! The fonts go together very well. I also like the little drawings on the cover. The cover draws readers to the story! It looks like a cover you’d see on a published novel. The blurb introduces the story and characters well. Some of the phrasing used is a little awkward though. The blurb doesn’t flow very well.

🌹》Plot

The plot of the story is clear and easy to understand. It is engaging, however, I feel like there should be more to the plot and the plot is progressing quickly. Shweta seems to already be tired of being popular. She didn’t really have any moments where she enjoyed it, other than right after her and Utkarsh got together. Even then though she quickly begins to not really enjoy it. She realizes they really don’t know anything about each other and she doesn’t like the attention they’re getting. I know the story is about the downsides of being popular, however, I feel Shweta shouldn’t automatically be seeing the downsides. Yes, a lot in her life has changed, like her parents, and it is something to feel sad about. Having her focus on the upsides of it at first and ignoring the downsides will help the downsides be more impactful to the readers once she finally realizes the downsides outweigh the upsides. The idea of the Guardian Witches is very interesting! I enjoyed the prologue where the readers were shown the witches receiving their assignments.

🌹》Characters

The characters could be introduced and described better. The information about the characters is kinda dumped on the readers at once. We don’t need to know a lot about the characters as soon as they’re introduced. Work the information into the story as it goes along. Show the readers some of the information you’re telling them about the characters instead of simply telling them. The characters also aren’t described much in the story. The characters’ personalities are shown well in the chapters.

🌹》Grammar/Spelling

I didn’t notice any spelling errors in the story. It was a little hard to keep track of who was talking since a new line wasn’t started when a new character was talking.

Make sure to start a new line when a new character is speaking or doing an action.

For example, you have this part in chapter one:

‘Sorry. I wasn’t looking where I was going ’, he gives me his cute nervous look and I smile at him and say, ‘It’s okay. I wasn’t looking either.’

It should be like this:

‘Sorry. I wasn’t looking where I was going.’ he gives me his cute nervous look.

I smile at him and say, ‘It’s okay. I wasn’t looking either.’

🌹》Writing Style

The writing style was alright, it needs some work. There aren’t a lot of descriptions in the story. Be sure to describe the characters as well as the scenery. Often the readers are simply told what’s happening instead of being shown. Some of the phrasing used was hard to understand as well. Also, some of the phrasing didn’t flow very well. As mentioned, spread out information so it’s not dumped on the readers all at once.

🌹》Enjoyment

The story has an interesting premise and I want to see what happens with Shweta. I’m not sure if I would read on though. I feel like the story is a little flat right now, it needs something more.

🌹》Overall

Overall, the story is interesting, however, it needs to be developed more. The plot is progressing at a quick pace. Show more of Shweta enjoying her new-found popularity before she begins to realize the downsides of it. The characters need to be introduced better as well. Be sure to include descriptions of the characters and the scenery. Work information into the story and be careful not to dump the information on the readers all at once. Also, show the readers what’s happening instead of simply telling them. The story needs an edit to fix the phrasing that’s difficult to understand as well as fix the dialogue that should be on a new line. Good luck with your story!