REVIEWER: june_berrin

CLIENT: Cinnamonrollwritess

Thank you so much for giving me the chance to review your story.

❥ Title/Cover: The title is unique and is well suited for the plot. I like the idea behind the cover, with many face collages behind it while there is a chessboard as a main element. But due to its dark colouring, these features are only visible up close. The subtitle is barely readable as it is too small, and the text underneath it is not at all discernable due to the font used.

❥ Blurb: I like the blurb; while it only reveals very little from the plot, the way it is structured is very well done. I like how the readers get a gist of the plot by letting them know the mishmash tropes in use here, something many of the Indian writers tend to use.

I might lightly suggest adding a bit more information or a cliffhanger to encourage the readers to turn the pages or have a better understanding of the story.

❥ Storyline: The storyline was amazing and immediately matched with the mood set by the cover and title. The main characters are already so fleshed out, and for the first time, I see a character who is dangerous and is feared for an actual reason. Your story makes every character imperfectly perfect, and in that way they are realistic. The money and the power and how you so easily narrate the story feel like I am in the story and not a reader.

❥ Writing Style: Your writing style is mesmerising, especially the scenery descriptions. You have a knack for tying together clever words to paint a creative picture in the minds of the readers. The way you used italics to highlight certain parts helped add depth to each scene and the character it embodies. You can improve in this section even more by using more symbolic and metaphoric expressions to strengthen and level up your writing style. Another thing I noticed is that sometimes, your dialogue feels a bit unnatural, especially in the first meeting between Avya and Hridhaan. You can work it out by saying the dialogue out loud yourself and see if it sounds all right.

❥ Characters: I loved the character aesthetics at the beginning of the story and how each of them personifies and helps to discern each character apart. The way you slowly introduced each character made it so much easier to relate to and care for them. I like how the female characters have personalities of their own and are as flawed as the male characters. So far your character portrayal is splendid. This one seems to be your strongest suit so far.

❥ Grammar and Vocabulary: Your grammar and vocabulary are pitch-perfect.

❥ Conclusion: The story has potential, and so far I love how the story is playing out and will continue to read it. Also, I apologize for my delayed review. I had a lot of stuff going on, but I am slowly getting back on track and getting all the work done.

And lastly, if any of my words hurt you or if I have misinterpreted anything, I sincerely apologize; that was never my intention. So I hope you have had a great day.

Best Wishes🌻