Client: itsstxxa

Reviewer: rinaXhazurina

Title: 4/5

The title has a nice ring to it. It follows a common structure of published fantasy stories usually with a combination of two to three nouns and a coordinating conjunction and preposition. It hints at a dark fantasy ambiance with traces of romance with the word 'rose' mentioned after the 'shadow' so it sets what kind of genre to expect by reading the title alone. However, I suggest adding a definite article before the word 'crown,' specifically either the words 'A' or 'The.'

Personally, 'A' would be the better option because it follows a similar structure to popular published fantasy stories like ACOTAR which may attract a large number of audiences interested in them. If you value peculiarity, you can instead put 'The' instead as it pertains to 'The' Crown of Shadows and Roses and just any crown of shadows and roses. Whatever you think suits best. Nonetheless, I suggest adding a definite article.

Book Cover: 2/5

I'm sure you already know where I'm coming from about this but I'll mention the key points for the sake of a proper review and for further information. First off, the admirable thing about the cover is the element of the crown placed over a woman's head, showing its boldness that is also seen in the deep pink/red color and the white font color standing out.

Unfortunately, there is a huge gap for improvement that I strongly suggest should be worked on. While the proverb of 'Don't judge a book by its cover' is important for an individual, it is also significantly applicable to the literature field. Visualize it in a situation of preparing for a job interview. A person may perfectly exemplify the qualifications employers are looking for but if they wear non-professional clothes, not only does it cause a huge damage to first impressions but they may also decide to discontinue the process because the improper attire already indicates unprofessional behavior.

This is similar to books and their cover. Sadly but truly, there are readers who judge a book's quality by its cover, and apart from the title, the cover may even be the first thing to notice about a book's aspect. So while the content may be great, it doesn't mean that the cover should be made with less effort as it is one of the most important visual aspects of attracting first-time readers to read the book. Since the story follows a common structure of fantasy titles and a common fantasy trope, it puts your book in a competitive position against other fantasy books with similar genres and tropes. So do work on the cover to put it on an equal level with the other similar books.

You can create your own cover in Canva or other free online book cover makers with free templates to use. It's understandable that making covers is hard and not everyone can be confident with their art skills, which is why there are various graphic shops available on Wattpad where you can ask other users to make a book cover for you. I highly suggest checking out Rose Gold Community's Sakura Graphic Shop which is open with many users available for requests. Do not worry as the payments do not include cash. Common payments from asking for book covers in WP include permanent follows, shout-outs, and reading and commenting on the users' books, which is an appropriate payment considering that these wonderful designers put genuine efforts into creating a book cover fit for your story and deem it as a piece of art.

So again, I strongly suggest you check out the graphic shop. You can also surf other graphic shops on Wattpad because there is a lot of creative and talented book cover designers out there.

Blurb: 2/5

The blurb is good in establishing the main character Silvia Orchid who wants to escape from where she was sent to and struggles to adjust to an opposite environment from where she was born, which was also instigated by her own father, encouraging curiosity as to why he would do this to her even more so that he is the director of hell. Her internal strife seems to hint that she views her life to be purposeless given that she worked hard for hell. The most admirable feature of the story presented by the blurb is the proposition of a unique element found in the idea of a demon princess and a stalking private lawyer which is an uncommon combination in stories.

However, the blurb also presents a lot of room for improvement. First, there is an unclear indication as to how Silvia plans or what she is doing actively to tackle her problem only that we know she feels stuck in a place she doesn't want in. Another is a vague meaning behind how she worked hard for hell, which raises the question: doesn't she normally live in hell since her father is the director, or do demons have to work in hell to live there? Do give a more specific explanation as to why she had to work hard for hell to dispel questions like these.

Next is how Kai Kent was introduced. While in general, stalking and obsession already put the book in a controversial position, you can still maintain these elements in the book if it is meant to highlight the romance and subtly show them in the blurb by not directly using the word obsessed and stalking or introducing Kai in a way that immediately makes him creepy to readers. Instead, play around with the words that make these controversial things sound romantic (Though I do not condone any of these). For example, "Unbeknownst to her, private lawyer Kai Kent has known Silvia for a long time. Despite all reasons, he couldn't help but feel irresistibly drawn to her, driving him to do more than send her roses and instead get to know her better beyond that pretty little face. He didn't expect, however, to be thrown into a thrilling adventure as he helps her escape her reality." The key technique to do this is to use euphemisms and witty indirect words that pertain to the same meaning of 'obsessed' and 'stalking.'

Next, there is an absence of trigger warnings that I strongly suggest should be written in the blurb since the genre tag includes obsession, suicidal thoughts, and triggers. Please add it to the blurb and turn on the Mature Content feature of the book. This is for the safety of the readers' personal well-being and for the writer to avoid any possible conflicts they may encounter with the readers when they complain about the lack of trigger warnings, which happens more often than most thought.

Lastly, there are observable errors in the writing mechanics. It's understandable if English isn't an author's first language but in writing in it, nonetheless, they should still be aware of the proper syntax if they chose the language format. This can be managed by using free AI writing tools such as Grammarly, which is completely different from asking AI to write the story itself. Moreover, I suggest reading more books written in English to enhance your writing using the language, and I promise you it will also greatly expand your vocabulary and eloquence.

Characters: 4/10

Silvia's bitter disposition against where she is through her neglectful environment. The fact that no one checks up on her after staying in her room for two days shows how much her family is totally neglectful of her. It's a sensible reason for her acting the way she is with how messed up and bitter her mind is. It's understandable, and it justifies her irritated behavior during the ceremony. Her limited desire to want to be unalive is also reasonable, given her depression. Her fears may not have been explicitly shown, but even her condition suppress that mental portion of her so it's acceptable. Her depression was shown to be that worse when she spotted the camera and thinks Kai is a psycho, but doesn't even feel a bit creeped out if not taking it out or reporting it.

As for Kai, he's shown to have father issues, which may have significantly contributed to his controversial behavior. His desire to only have Silvia aligns with his behavior, and clearly his fear is not having her. He somewhat bears a complex character since he appears to feel no sympathy, yet shows compassion only for Silvia. It's an interesting topic to explore, yet a concept that needs profound research and believable execution.

As for the cons, a lot could be improved. First, Silvia was not shown to be a believable musician when there were detailed events that showed her writing music or playing an instrument. I suggest writing these moments that support the descriptions and not just tell who she is. Another is the bad start at introducing the characters in the Prologue: the situation is given, but there is no emotional moment or descriptions that make the readers feel for the characters.

The writing further supports the fact that Kai is a creep, and the story apparently seems to be pushing him and his subject of obsessions, Silvia, to get together, which is already a bad way of sparking romantic interest between the two characters. Moreover, isn't he a private lawyer, who is supposed to be doing his job instead of spending almost all his time stalking Silvia? There also doesn't appear to be an explanation as to how he has a lot of free time so he can neglect his lawyer duties, and even worse, with a psychotic mind like his, how was he able to pass and register as a lawyer?

His disguise was lacking since he didn't know where to go when he disguised himself as her driver. If he were going to kidnap her, there's no reason for him to ask where to go next. He is further shown to be mentally unstable. He thinks arranged marriages are cruel, but stalking and obsessing over someone unhealthily is okay for him. Diving deeper, he appears to lack a sense of self-awareness through one of his lines, "everybody I tried to talk to after my mother's death betrayed me because I wasn't a rich kid anymore." It may be because his behavior contributed to his isolation, or that will be explored in future chapters, which would be a great character development.

Chapter 6 gives an insight as to why Kai is the way he is, but at this point, it doesn't excuse his creepy behavior, only that it makes him understandable, but not justifiable. The fact that he became a lawyer just because it pays well is not believable because of his behavior, making readers forget that he's a lawyer.

Overall, I suggest giving more positive details and backgrounds that hook readers into caring for the characters by bringing them more in a positive light at some points, rather than continuously describing the negative aspects about them. It was shown when Kai comforted Silvia, but apart from that, they can be shown doing what they want, like Silvia playing an instrument that makes her feel good.

Worldbuilding: 3/10

The worldbuilding can be inferred about a dark aesthetic with the usual giant mansion or palace. However, there were no immersive descriptions that brought the environment to life and brought its awe to the readers, lacking the emotional connection the readers have with the world. There was also no clear explanation as to how the world works with angels and demons. How did they come to have human forms, and do the ordinary humans know these races can shapeshift into humans? What is the relationship between the angels or demons, and the humans?

I recommend working on the worldbuilding as well which prioritizes answering these questions through the plot instead of straightforward explanations. A simple way to do so can be a short anecdote that explains the world of angels and demons before exploring the actual story.

Writing Mechanics and Style: 8/15

There was actually a good description exhibiting Silvia's feelings of the moment when she went down the stairs and went deep into thought, which actually happens to people with depression. The writing style was simple, good enough to understand. On the other hand, left alignment is more preferable over center when it comes to writing narrative descriptions. There were irrelevant words that were more befitting for a script like indicating it's the next 24 hours or so. Instead, write them in a natural narrative way like, "The next day followed..." There are needs for proper punctuation.

There were confusing sentences but deliver the meaning, but still needs fixing like, 'He led me upstairs while I got to stairs every step felt like a crime because these stairs feels like they're made of gold.'

There were details that come out of nowhere, lacking a natural transition and instead brought readers into a sudden, new event without processing what happened: 'What happend 7 years ago still haunts me I closed my eyes and cried to myself I kept sleeping till I woke up It was Wednesday.'

It's not good practice to use all capital letters when someone is exclaiming. There were unrealistic descriptions like, 'he said smiling widely his dimples almost broke.'

I strongly suggest reading more to adhere to the standard writing mechanics and have it easier when writing descriptions to know how to come up with good and natural lines.

Pacing: 7/15

The pacing was decent for the number of chapters, but oftentimes, it was too fast in a way that there were almost no moments for respite for the reader to process the events. It further calls for dire improvement since the story delves into serious topics like stalking and reconsidering one's own life.

There are moments that slow down to contemplate internal struggles like Silvia's depression and Kai's backstory, do add more of these mostly at the times when a bizarre event just happened to keep the pacing balanced. It gives readers a moment to contemplate and rest after the thrill of what just happened.

Execution: 9/20

The story starts off well by choosing suspense for the Prologue. There is a captivating and poetic descriptions that reveal Silvia's feelings, 'He kept that bouquet of red roses with food on the side I smiled at red roses because in this black and white world for me the roses felt like a little colour still left behind.' One of the great things about it is the story actually shows how cruel her family is and it's not just Silvia generalizing it.

I can actually commend as to how severe Silvia's depression is when he sees Kai as somewhat a friendly figure because that's the only moment she felt happy, and clearly shows how bad her depression is when you see your stalker as a good person. "After he explained why he was doing all this. To be honest it doesn't suit him for a stalker. Someone he claims to be is not what he he is after some time for analyzing Kai."

Kai has an inspiring heart-to-heart speech with Silvia but it doesn't explain enough as to why he became interested in her just because of that. He is right about how life is to be lived and she has the right to live it her own way but it doesn't dispel the fact that he is mentally unstable nor what he did was creepy.

For the cons, you should improve the dialogue and the wrong use of dialogue tag: "Princess you had the nerve to Marry someone when you know your mine" I clarified,' when the voice line is not a clarification. There were frequent unnatural dialogues such as, 'The waiter noticed me slowly stepping on the stairs. "Sir these stairs are just made of gold Are you upset that boss didn't use much gold in it? You must be big..then."' The purpose may be to reveal how rich Silvia's family are, but in reality, I don't think servants in households would ask if a guest is upset there wasn't enough luxury displayed unless they're joking coming from their own humor. The fact that the angels are mean shows that the world doesn't follow the standard good sheep view of what an angel is. But that begs the question, what makes an angel and demon then? Was it because they were born or sent to heaven and hell? It also brings the question again of how the angels and demons can shift into humans and live in the human world, and how does it work?

The biggest pitfall in Silvia's backstory is why her father married an angel, and why would an angel even agree to marry a demon, the director of hell itself? There were many questionable things in this moment: 'He said and I shut my mouth tight "Your not worthy of life... If You love your papa then you can go to The royal family and be the princess Because there's no place for you in hell." The hatred was understandable here but the meaning has a lot of unclear interpretations. Fixing the grammatical issues would greatly fix it, as well as writing it like how a natural communication goes.

There were more questionable things, like how Kai's sister, Miley, knows that his brother is stalking someon,e and she doesn't feel apprehensive about it. There is no moment of recollection after Silvia's encounter with her mother. Immediately shifts to her and Kai agreeing to date. This is related to the pacing I pointed out earlier.

Lastly, the title doesn't seem to match the plot of the story except for the princess element referred to by the word 'crown.' I strongly suggest either remaking almost the entire plot to fit the given title, or changing the title overall. It should be a word or phrase that summarizes a significant element/s of the story. It can simply be the name of the protagonist, the name of the world, the name of the protagonist's struggle, or a word that describes the relationship between the protagonist and another character of importance to them.

Overall Engagement: 2/5

The entertaining things about the story were the sass of Silvia and how she can turn creepy encounters into humorous moments that got me personally wondering what just happened while laughing. It stems from her depression and irritability, which makes it feel like reading a teenage angst parody. However, due to the executions needing dire improvement and concerning themes the story proposes, it can immensely make the story challenging to naturally enjoy.

Theme: 10/25

First off, the story explores the theme of relevant mental challenges like depression and stalking. It's a serious and risky topic to choose for a story, yet subjects that are still very relevant in this present time. Writing Silvia as someone living in a rich household yet harbors serious internal conflicts truly shows that luxury does not always guarantee happiness. It shows that wealth is negligible when people, mostly family and peers, are the source of your problems. It's a sad reality many people experience, breaking the illusion that money brings ultimate happiness, which isn't always true when the people around you make you feel life is a challenge instead of a blessing to enjoy and be grateful for.

The most concerning subject of this story is the dangerous message of romanticizing stalking and obsession if meant for romantic purposes. This was shown by the main character, Silvia, who appears to be enjoying Kai's creepy advances.

The story shows how suicide can drive a person to reach a point of not caring if someone stalks them, but the way it was written doesn't seem to put the idea of suicide and stalking in a negative light and instead romanticizes them. This is strongly shown in the text, "*I chuckled and wandered is he the one who set on the camera it's most probably The man who was staring at me whole time of the event* This was the first time I smiled and chuckled in this week."

What makes the story appear to show this thought is Silvia's reaction to the discovery that the same man who set up the camera, stared at her, and brought her the roses was, instead of being reasonably creeped out, she chuckled. And that's just the word used for it. There is no reason written as to why she chuckled. It's not likely she chuckled because it's her way of reacting when she's nervous or creeped out. More like she chuckled because she thinks it's sweet, which is the default impression readers think when she chuckled.

The small detail may appear absurd, but reading all the chapters published as of now and the lack of trigger warning in the blurb and genre tags, the story further shows that the idea of suicide and stalking is romanticized and normalized, whether it was intended or not.

What the story is proposing concerning these already puts the book in a controversial position, UNLESS it is a satire, then it would be understandable. A part of me believes it is because even the characters don't seem to care saying it anymore with Kai's line, "He whispered "Wake up princess your in the car with your stalker you'd that would keep you awake but especially this one who's this obsessed with you," and in Silvia's line, "I looked back and felt bad for why am I hurting Kai and why is he still bearing what I do? I don't talk and do much why is he doing this strange this why does think he can handle me? He's so delusional 100%."

But personally, when I read it, there doesn't appear to be an indication of it whether it's intended that way or not, but nonetheless, placing the trigger warnings or mature content sign on the blurb is still required even by Wattpad guidelines when it involves suicide. But in conclusion, I give my ratings the way they are based on the scale of how much improvement it needs.