Client: camillarb5

Reviewer: iburnrice

Thank you for giving me the chance to review your story. I apologize in advance if any of what will be said comes off as rude or hurtful. It was never my intention ❤️

Title and Book Cover - 3/5

The title effectively captures the essence of an office romance, blending professional ambition with emerging passion. The contrast between "Deadlines," which symbolizes work stress and high stakes, and "Desire," which hints at romantic tension, creates an engaging hook. It clearly conveys the novel's central theme—a shift from a rigid, career-driven environment to unexpected emotional entanglements. The alliteration also makes it memorable and easy to recall.

However, while fitting for the genre, the title lacks a distinctive flair that sets it apart from other workplace romances. It feels somewhat generic and could benefit from a slight tweak to add uniqueness or personalization to Alice and Ethan's dynamic. A small adjustment, such as "From Deadlines to Desire" or a more specific phrase reflecting their professional conflict and personal chemistry, might enhance its impact. Nonetheless, the title remains an effective choice for a slow-burn office romance.

Blurb - 4/5

The blurb effectively introduces the main characters, their professional dynamics, and the central conflict. However, there are a few areas that could be improved for clarity, conciseness, and engagement:

1. Opening Sentence: The introduction of Alice and Ethan is clear, but "insufferably perfect" is somewhat contradictory—does it mean he's difficult to work with, or that he's too good at everything? A more precise phrase would help.

2. Sentence Flow & Clarity: "With his impossible deadlines and complete lack of empathy..." → This could be streamlined for better readability.

3. Conflict & Stakes: The core conflict (the high-stakes project in France) is intriguing, but the emotional stakes could be more sharply defined. Why is this project a "make or break" moment?

4. Romantic & Professional Tension: The shift in their dynamic and personal chemistry is compelling, but the phrase "office politics and a dash of personal chemistry complicate matters" is vague. A more evocative description of their growing attraction would strengthen the hook.

Revised Blurb:

For two years, 24-year-old Alice Bennett has endured life as the overworked executive assistant to Ethan Warren, the brilliant but emotionally distant Vice President of Warren Enterprises. Every workday is a battlefield of impossible deadlines and unrelenting expectations, but Alice remains focused on one goal—the marketing manager promotion she's been chasing since day one.

When a critical presentation for a high-profile client arises, Alice finally sees her chance to prove herself. But an unexpected business trip to France forces her to work closely with Ethan, turning her professional ambitions into something far more complicated.

As they oversee a high-stakes project together, their strictly professional relationship begins to blur. Office politics, unforeseen challenges, and an undeniable attraction push them both out of their comfort zones. For Alice, the climb up the corporate ladder has always been clear-cut—until now.

A slow-burn office romance filled with witty banter, professional rivalries, and unexpected chemistry.

Plot Creativity and Originality - 8/10

The plot is creative. There's some similarity with Wattpad books (the office romance trope + enemies to lovers trope) but I liked that you involved a business deal to draw the forced proximity trope in it. There's not much to say under this. You did your best and somehow created a fresh piece.

Character Development - 8/10

I like how you're slowly fleshing out the characters. We're getting to learn so much about each of them and I'm honestly impressed. So there's not much to say here either, you're on the right track

Grammar and Story Flow - 9/10

I don't have much to say here. The grammar was on point and the story is flowing perfectly. Kudos !

Overall Enjoyment and Engagement - 8/10

Overall, I had fun reading the story. I was intrigued by the blurb, and I enjoyed reading about a strong willed female. Seeing how your protagonist worked hard for the position she wanted was nice. Also the male lead feels human. He's not exaggerated like in most of these novels and so I love it. He's arrogant tho, hehe.

I loved your book and would continue reading to see how Alice and Ethan's story goes. Keep writing