Client: anazitis

Reviewer: iburnrice

Thank you for giving me the chance to review your story. I apologize in advance if any of what will be said comes off as rude or hurtful. It was never my intention ❤️

Title and Book Cover - 4/5

The title "Eternal Happiness" is very unique, especially in the fantasy genre. It's concise, directly related to the central conflict and goal, and carries enough inherent tension and hope to draw readers in, especially when paired with the dark backdrop described in the blurb. It promises a journey not just for a state of being, but for something almost mythical and seemingly unattainable in the story's world.

There's nothing much to say about the cover. It's truly beautiful. Adding a title and author name would make it more professional.

Blurb - 4/5

The blurb is strong and effectively sets the stage for your story. It has a powerful opening, instantly establishing the bleak, yet subtly hopeful world's state to grab the reader's attention. It also spells out the goal and the premise clearly to the reader. We also get to meet the protagonist as well as his companions. There are some corrections I'll make. So there are some grammar mistakes (not much) and we need to strengthen the flow of the seeker's motivations etc

Revised Blurb:

In a world broken by despair, where shattered hopes and fading dreams whisper of a brighter future, none dare rise, save for the Seekers. Some strive for joy, others long for chaos, balance, eternity, fate... or love.

Among them stands Anazitis, a Free Seeker burned by a tragic past. He sets out on a perilous journey alongside his loyal companions—Lion and Halfy.

Their goal: to awaken a dream long thought impossible—Eternal Happiness.

Join Anazitis as he challenges destiny itself, seeking the Books of Foundation to rewrite the very fabric of his reality, and uncover whether one soul's dream can reshape a broken world.

Plot Creativity and Originality - 5/10

The Goal: "Eternal Happiness" as a Tangible Quest: This is where the story truly shines. Instead of a typical "defeat the dark lord" or "find a lost artifact" quest, the objective is an abstract emotional state made concrete. This immediately elevates the plot beyond standard fantasy fare. It suggests a journey that will explore the nature of happiness, despair, and what it truly means to heal a broken world. This abstract goal made tangible is highly creative.

"Seekers" with Diverse Motivations: The concept of "Seekers" who pursue various abstract goals (joy, chaos, balance, eternity, fate, love) adds a layer of depth and world-building. It hints at a complex society with different ideologies, making the world feel less monolithic and more dynamic. This specific framing of diverse philosophical quests is a creative touch.

"Rewriting the Fabric of Reality" via "Books of Foundation": While magical books are a known trope, the idea of them allowing one to "rewrite the very fabric of his reality" is a high-stakes and creative twist. It suggests a powerful, almost philosophical approach to world-saving, rather than just a physical battle. This hints at meta-narrative possibilities or deep philosophical inquiries within the plot.

Elements that lean on Established Tropes (and how they are used creatively):

"World Broken by Despair": This is a common starting point in many fantasy narratives. However, its use here sets a strong contrast for the pursuit of "Eternal Happiness," making that pursuit even more impactful and meaningful. The trope serves to highlight the uniqueness of the goal.

"Protagonist Burned by a Tragic Past": Anazitis's backstory is a classic hero archetype. Its commonality provides a relatable foundation for the character, allowing the unique plot elements to stand out. The originality comes from what he does with that past and what he seeks.

"Perilous Journey with Loyal Companions": The hero's journey with a diverse group is a fundamental narrative structure. "Lion and Halfy" are standard companion names, but the blurb doesn't provide enough detail to assess their individual originality. However, the reliance on this trope makes the journey feel familiar and accessible to readers, while the goal keeps it fresh.

"Challenging Destiny Itself": This is a powerful, albeit common, heroic theme. In the context of "rewriting reality" and seeking "Eternal Happiness," it takes on a more profound and less purely combative meaning, pushing it towards a philosophical or existential challenge rather than just a physical one.

The plot for "Eternal Happiness" demonstrates significant creativity and a strong sense of originality by taking established fantasy settings and character archetypes and infusing them with a uniquely abstract, yet profoundly meaningful, core quest. The pursuit of "Eternal Happiness" as a tangible goal, the diverse "Seeker" motivations, and the concept of "rewriting reality" through ancient texts are the standout elements that elevate this plot beyond the predictable.

While some structural components are familiar, they serve as a solid framework upon which the more original elements can shine, making the overall premise feel fresh and highly engaging. This is a story that is not just an adventure, but also a deep exploration of hope, despair, and the very essence of human aspiration in a broken world.

Character Development - 8/10

You're developing your characters at a steady pace. For example we see our protagonist valuing world peace after the destruction of his home and people. We also see that Halfy might come to the realization that chaos doesn't only affect the bad people, but also the good people in town. While waging the war (in this book) is for the riddance of evil, what about those that'll be caught in the crossfire?

I don't actually have much to say because as far as I've read, there aren't exactly notable developments yet, apart from these.

Grammar and Story Flow - 5/10

The first two chapters were ok. Yes there were mistakes, but it wasn't too noticeable. But the following chapters need proofreading. You mostly forgot to put the dialogues in speech/quotation marks ("). And there were lots of missing punctuations, like commas, question marks, periods etc

The story's flow is okay. It's not exactly moving fast and it's also not moving slow. Though it may feel like we're moving really fast since we know absolutely nothing about our characters, just them on their quest for Eternal Happiness –especially Anazitis. You didn't exactly lay any foundation for us the readers.

Overall Enjoyment and Engagement - 8/10

I enjoyed reading the story. Some areas confused me, especially those with the mixed up dialogues but it was still a fun journey. Your book is very promising and anyone who picks it up will be eager to complete and see how Anazitis and his companions defy the odds and change the world. The fight for Eternal Happiness is fresh and that's what made your book truly remarkable! Keep writing!