Client: Sahityasikharghosh

Reviewer: iburnrice

Thank you for giving me the chance to review your story. I apologize in advance if any of what will be said comes off as rude or hurtful. It was never my intention ❤️

Souls Meet

Soul's meet is a beautifully crafted poem, that effective captures the magic of an unexpected connection

It's rich imagery and engaging dialogue make it an enjoyable read. It has vivid and engaging imagery, smooth transition from admiration to dialogue, strong thematic foundation, conversational tone towards the end. Refining the rhythm and slightly toning down some of the exaggerated descriptions would elevate it further.

Sweet and Sour

Sour and Sweet offers a heartfelt exploration of evolving emotion within a friendship. The authentic dialogue and reflective tone draw readers into the narrator's internal world. With slight refinements in imagery and pacing, the poem can further elevate its emotional impact.

I Was In Love

I was in love effectively captured the delicate transition from friendship to romantic love, with a relatable narrative and consistent structure. By refining cultural reference and enriching imagery, the poem can achieve greater emotional impact and universality.

Near, but yet so far

Near, but yet so far is a poignant and well structured poem that effectively converts the theme of missed opportunity. The consistency of style through the poem helps tie the chapters together , and the emotional weight of the protagonist's near-miss is effectively conveyed. With a bit more emotional depth and context, the poem could elevate the narrative even further.

Last Days

Last Days is a poignant and reflective poem that captures the complexities of love, loss, and the internal conflict that often accompanies success. Shekhar's sense of regret and sorrow is conveyed beautifully through the rhyme and imagery. The contrast between his achievements and the emotional void he feels due to the fading relationship with Evelyn adds depth to the narrative. While the poem is impactful in its current form, further exploration of the emotional disconnection and Evelyn's perspective could strengthen the overall emotional resonance. It's a well-written piece that truly captures the sorrow of unspoken love and the aftermath of relationships that fade into memory.

Full Review

General Overview:

The collection presents a poignant and emotive narrative of unrequited love, deep emotional turmoil, and the beauty of an unspoken connection between two people. The poem covers a span of events, feelings, and realizations, weaving a story of a blossoming relationship that ultimately fades. Through lyrical moments, the narrator's voice creates a tangible sense of longing, vulnerability, and an emotional journey from bliss to heartache.

Form & Structure:

The poem is composed of a narrative structure that unfolds over multiple chapters. Each section is a vignette, reflecting key moments in the protagonist's relationship with Evelyn.

The use of rhyme is consistent, creating a rhythmic flow throughout the piece. The rhyming couplets (AABB) provide a conversational tone that makes the poem accessible while allowing the emotions of the narrator to be expressed in a flowing, almost confessional style.

Chapters are like individual stanzas that build on each other to form a cohesive whole. The change in tone from hope and longing to loss and despair is handled effectively.

Imagery & Language:

The imagery is vivid and richly descriptive, bringing emotional experiences to life. Phrases like "her peacock earrings," "her sublime brown eyes," and "her perfume left all guys and girls stupefied" emphasize the idealized nature of the love the narrator feels. They reflect the protagonist's almost reverential admiration for Evelyn, where every small detail is imbued with significance.

The symbolism of roses in the title and the repeated references to beauty, loss, and time's effects are strong. Roses, often symbolizing love, also suggest the eventual wilting or withering of the protagonist's feelings as time moves on.

The tone of the chapters ranges from light and whimsical in the early parts of the poem (such as "You are the champion" or "I love your company") to deep and melancholic toward the end. The playful interactions evolve into more serious, reflective moments as the protagonist contemplates the lost relationship.

Themes:

Unrequited Love & Longing: Throughout the poem, the narrator expresses an intense yearning for Evelyn, feeling both the joy of proximity and the sorrow of emotional distance. The tension between these emotions creates a palpable sense of inner conflict.

Passage of Time: The narrative's shifting focus—from casual moments to more serious realizations—illustrates the passing of time and its impact on both relationships and personal growth. Each chapter subtly marks a progression from innocence and infatuation to the inevitable fading of love, echoing the withering of roses.

Loss & Regret: The final chapters grapple with the pain of missed opportunities and the disillusionment that comes with realizing that something beautiful is fading. The phrase "there was nothing that felt better than her voice" and the reference to "mourning my relationship's last days" poignantly captures the sorrow of endings.

Narrative Voice:

The narrator, Shekhar, is an earnest, sensitive character, whose perspective is clearly shaped by his emotional attachment to Evelyn. His voice is candid, revealing his internal battles between expression and restraint, as well as his attempt to navigate a romantic relationship in the midst of personal growth and external pressures (such as exams).

Internal Conflict: His struggle is evident in chapters like "I was in Love" and "Last Days", where he contemplates whether to express his feelings or not, mirroring the confusion and hesitation often felt in young love.

Relationship Dynamics: The development of Shekhar's relationship with Evelyn is marked by a deep sense of admiration but also an acknowledgment of unspoken barriers. Their interactions—while initially carefree—gradually reveal their individual vulnerabilities, especially with Evelyn's mixed emotions.

Emotional Impact:

The poem's ability to evoke strong emotional responses is a significant strength. The reader can clearly feel Shekhar's love, hope, and despair through his expressive and relatable inner monologues. Phrases like "But since that day I realized, without her I was incomplete!" resonate deeply, as they express the universal pain of realizing that love, no matter how strong, is sometimes not enough to make the relationship work.

The narrator's final realization in "Last Days" is bittersweet, as he reflects on the fleeting nature of their time together. The contrast between his academic success and emotional turmoil highlights the isolation that can accompany personal achievement when one's emotional life feels unresolved.

Strengths:

1. Relatable Themes: The exploration of unspoken feelings, emotional growth, and the pain of unrequited love is universally relatable.

2. Rich Imagery & Descriptive Language: The poem consistently uses sensory language that paints a vivid picture, especially in the early chapters where the physical attraction is described in great detail.

3. Character Development: Shekhar's emotional growth is clear. We see his evolution from naïve infatuation to a deeper understanding of love and loss.

4. Emotional Depth: The highs and lows of Shekhar's journey are effectively conveyed, especially the shift from hopeful anticipation to sorrowful realization.

Areas for Improvement:

1. Pacing and Repetition: While the poem is emotionally resonant, some repetition (particularly in the expressions of longing and uncertainty) could be reduced to avoid a sense of redundancy. Certain emotions, like Shekhar's internal conflict, are repeated throughout the chapters, which could be streamlined to keep the emotional progression fresh.

2. Tone Consistency: The tone in some chapters fluctuates, which can be effective in reflecting the changing emotional states, but it also risks diminishing the narrative cohesion at times. More subtle shifts in tone would create a more seamless reading experience.

3. Clarity of Themes: While the overall theme of loss is clear, some passages might benefit from slightly more focus. For instance, the "Sour and Sweet" chapter could clarify the tension between hope and heartbreak in the relationship, as its complexity is hinted at but not fully unpacked.

Conclusion:

Withered Roses is an evocative and heartfelt narrative that effectively explores the complexities of love, longing, and loss. The narrator's journey from infatuation to disillusionment is both universal and deeply personal, making it a relatable exploration of emotional growth. The vivid imagery and emotional depth draw the reader in, allowing them to feel both the joy and the sorrow Shekhar experiences. With a bit of tightening in pacing and theme development, this could easily become a timeless reflection on love's bittersweet nature.

I must say this poem is an actual masterpiece. Keep writing!