Client: baywnn

Reviewer: lantea-

🌹》Title, Cover, & Blurb

The title fits the story and attracts readers to the book. In League Of The Shadow Assassins, "of" and "the" shouldn't be capitalized. The cover is very pretty and attracts readers to the story! The title, The In-Between, isn't on the cover though. The blurb could introduce the story better. It doesn't flow very well and it's a little hard to understand some of the phrasing. The characters also aren't introduced much in the blurb.

🌹》Plot

The plot of the story is clear and easy to understand, however, it could be more engaging and developed more. It doesn't draw the readers in and make them want to keep reading. The plot is progressing quickly. The first time the readers see the Blind Assassin, she's discovered. Then Li Liang is immediately sent to capture her. Show more of the Assassin successfully completing her missions before she is seen. Show Li Liang searching for the missing princess as well. I know Li Liang doesn't like the Emperor and wants his revenge, however, his decision to team up with the Blind Assassin is very sudden. If you show more of her taking out the corrupt officials you can show Li Liang thinking about teaming up with her so he can get his revenge. The exposition introduces the characters and their situations well. The world could be introduced better though. All the information about the world seems to be in the "An Introduction to Shenghuo" chapter. Be sure to work that information into the story as it goes along.

🌹》Characters

The characters are introduced well, however, they could be described better. There aren't a lot of descriptions of the characters in the story. The characters' personalities are shown very well in the story. Although, the characters could be developed more in the story. For example, Xiaojun is either fighting with Yining or being a playboy; Yining is either fighting with Xiaojun or pining after Li Liang. Show more sides to them and ensure they aren't one dimensional. The Blind Assassin hasn't been developed in the story yet. As I mentioned, the readers don't get to know her much before Li Liang is sent to kill her. I also found it odd that Li Liang just grabs the blades of swords or knives during fights. He did it when the Half-Prince threatened him and then when he was fighting the Blind Assassin. It's not something a skilled fighter would do.

🌹》Grammar/Spelling

I didn't notice any spelling or grammar errors in the story.

🌹》Writing Style

The writing style is consistent throughout the chapters, however, it needs improvement. You often simply tell the readers what's happening instead of showing them. Use descriptions to show how the characters are feeling. Add more descriptions to the fight scenes to make them more exciting and engaging for the readers. Add descriptions of the scenery and the characters as well. Some of the phrasing was hard to understand as well. The dialogue between Li Liang and the Blind Assassin was a little awkward. It didn't seem natural and didn't flow very well.

🌹》Enjoyment

Unfortunately, the story wasn't enjoyable and I wouldn't read on. I thought the premise of the story was interesting, however, the book didn't draw me in. The action scenes weren't exciting and I didn't feel a connection to any of the characters.

🌹》Overall

Overall, the story has an interesting premise, however, it needs to be developed more. The plot is clear in the story, but doesn't draw the readers in. You need to take more time with the events in the story because currently the story is progressing quickly. Show more of the Blind Assassin before Li Liang is sent to kill her. Show more of him deciding to team up with her and give him more of a reason other than they both hate the Emperor. Take the time to develop the characters more. Show more sides of them and be sure to include descriptions of them as well. Be sure to show the readers what's happening instead of telling them. Include descriptions of the scenery in the story as well. Ensure the phrasing is easy for the readers to understand and the dialogue feels natural. Good luck with your story!