Chapter 3

It was a while since I wore a blazer, but it wasn't the most uncomfortable part of attending a funeral.

A small gathering of people loitered the area for the funeral reception. The conversations were low whispers either because it was too painful to speak any louder or the fact that nobody was comfortable enough to speak while Caleb's dad was there. I instantly averted my gaze hoping that Mr. Matthews wouldn't notice me. As if he could feel my nervous energy, Kyle hid behind my legs seeming to be intimidated by the number of people present.

The room was decorated with photos of him. I couldn't move an inch without seeing his photographed smile invading my line of vision. Kyle followed my gaze to see the photo and pointed at the picture with wide eyes.

"Who's that?" His voice pierced the quiet atmosphere. Heads turned towards the commotion and I gave an apologetic wave before giving my attention back to Kyle.

I lowered my voice, trying to avoid disrupting the reception even more. "That's Caleb. He used to be really close to me and now... he's gone."

"He's ugly."

My lips parted in shock and I struggled to think of a reply. I remembered Caleb never really liked himself, but I didn't expect that.

"Kyle, that's not how we talk about people. It's very rude to call people ugly." I gave him a stern look. Suddenly, Kyle had a newfound interest in the patterns of the carpet.

There were faces there that I had recognized. A lot of them were friends of Caleb and I since we would always go to the club to have late nights of drinking and laughter. Kyle grabbed my hand and lowered his head shyly. I patted his head in reassurance and we walked towards the group. Before I could say anything, a head turned towards my direction and I was greeted with a sad smile.

"Oh, my lord. If it isn't Josh," Amira said. She greeted me with a hug and a kiss on my cheek.

Amira was always a lively spirit and was like a mother to Caleb. She was part of the family he had found, one of the few supportive people in his life. Caleb always loved watching Amira perform as she had this larger than life persona whenever she was on stage. It was no surprise that she showed up to the funeral knowing how much they cared for each other. Even less of a surprise that she wore a glittery black dress for the occasion.

"How have you been? Actually, don't answer that. I know you've been miserable. It's written all over your face."

"I could never sneak anything past you," I joked. "I love the dress. But... I don't know how exactly his dad would feel about a dress like that though."

"It was either this or my Beyoncé dressed as the Madonna outfit, so he better be glad I'm at least wearing black." Her hand casually flipped a loose curl of hair over her shoulder. "I wish he didn't even come but he was the one that had enough money to pay for this whole arrangement."

"I didn't know that he paid for it." My voice drifted away, and I found myself staring at one of Caleb's photos again. Amira's mouth formed into a sad smile and I looked away from the photo.

"It's a shame," Amira said. She swirled her glass of water while staring at it sadly. "Caleb really was a good man."

"It's been really tough," I said. "I don't know what to do anymore."

"Baby, you ain't alone. The group doesn't feel right anymore. He wasn't talkative but he was that rock." She sucked the air from between her teeth and blinked rapidly to rid of her misty eyes.

I put a firm hand on her back and rubbed it to comfort her. "Hey. If you start crying, I'm going to start crying."

She gave a dejected laugh. "We don't want that, now do we?"

Her eyes drop down to Kyle and her eyes softened. "I'm so sorry dear. I didn't even realize. What's your name sweetie?"

"He's... Kyle. He's... uh..." I struggled on finding an explanation to the situation. What could I say?

"Oh, Kyle! Yes. Caleb's kid, right?" Amira sets her glass down on the nearby table.

"You knew?" I asked.

"Oh, of course. He wouldn't shut up about the little one."

I paused for a moment before clearing my throat. I looked to Kyle and placed a hand on his head affectionately. "Kyle, say hi to Amira."

"Hi." He attempted to hide his face with my hand as he gave his meek reply.

"Ain't you a doll? Tell me Kyle, what do you like doing?"

I let Amira and Kyle ramble for a bit and my eyes lingered around the room. My eyes came into contact with Mr. Matthews and he jutted out his jaw. He motioned for me to come over and I gave Kyle an uneasy look.

"Amira, do you mind watching Kyle? I need to go talk to someone."

Amira glanced at the man then looked back to me in concern. She chewed her bottom lip slightly before smiling down at Kyle. "I'd be happy to. Kyle and auntie Amira will have a great time, now won't we?"

I took my time walking to Mr. Matthews. I didn't dare look away from his gaze. If I looked away, I feared he would judge me for being weak. When I finally arrived, he gave me a once over while making sounds of disapproval.

"I didn't think a person with morals such as yourself would come to the funeral." The harshness of his voice made me freeze. I eyed him from where I stood and slowed down my breathing.

"I wasn't the one that made him suffer on the street for years."

His eyebrows creased together, creating more lines to his already wrinkled forehead. "And I wasn't the one that turned him into a sissy."

I ignored the comment. "So, you paid for this? I'm surprised."

"He's still my goddamn son," he grunted.

"You haven't talked to him in years."

"I may not have approved of his lifestyle–" Lifestyle? "–but it was his decision to run away."

"You're telling me all that you did was justifiable?" I narrowed my eyes and he mirrored my expression. I knew what he did to Caleb. I remember him being fearful of me the first time we fought. Thinking that he would face harsher consequences when I was angry. It took me a long time to build that trust and this man was the one that made Caleb fearful of others.

"He needed to toughen up." I could only stare blankly at him as a response.

He took a long slow drink from his glass and he looked down into it sadly once he was finished. "I'm sad I didn't get to see the day that he could get married and have kids."

"What girl would he marry?" I said bitterly.

"That Amira girl seems nice. Maybe he could've settled down with her." I held myself from making a snarky comment. If he found out Amira was trans, I could only imagine his rage skyrocketing.

"Doesn't matter at this point. He's gone."

There was a pause.

"Tell me... did he ever mention me? After he left?"

"He did." I didn't expand on my answer and he closed his eyes in thought. His hand gripped the glass tightly as lips formed into a tight line.

"Thank you."

My eyes widened slightly in surprise and he ignored it. More silence filled the space between us until I heard a child's excited scream.

Kyle ran to me with Amira walking close behind. He hugged my leg once he arrived and held out a fist, indicating he had something for me.

"There was some candy and little Kyle here wanted to give some to you," Amira said.

Kyle nodded his head excitedly and then glanced at Mr. Matthews. His smile dropped and he suddenly hid behind my legs. It didn't feel like it was because of shyness like before. It was too fast of a reaction and his body became tense.

"He does? Well, let me see." I put on a false cheeriness and held out my hand.

The small hand reached out and plopped a small candy wrapped in a shiny plastic alongside a puzzle piece. My smile faltered for a moment.

"Oh, thank you, Kyle."

I wonder where all these puzzle pieces are coming from.