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Chapter 85

The next morning Diana woke up with a bad mood which was obvious from the deep frown on her forehead and her extremely messy hair as she left the common room. Layla and Regulus kept glancing at each other knowingly, none of them daring to say a single word.

      The three of them entered the Great Hall and made their way toward the Slytherin table, although Diana then  walked up to a group of second year Slytherin boys.

     "That's our seat. Move," Diana said firmly. The boys looked up to argue, but when they saw who it was, they obeyed without another word and moved a bit further. They had obviously witnessed her outburst of the previous night and the way she had dropped Avery to the ground and had beaten him up. 

      Layla sat beside her friend worriedly. Diana's harsh tone and deep frown was familiar to her, because that's exactly how she had been for their first five years at Hogwarts.

     For a few months, Diana had changed tremendously, but ever since last night, she seemed to have returned to her old cold and brutal self. Although Layla certainly didn't blame her. Remus Lupin was the first person Diana had genuinely trusted, and yet he broke her heart.

      After breakfast, Diana left the Great Hall and departed with her friends to get to her class, which she had been dreading since last night; she had Ancient Runes.

      Taking in a deep breath as if to ready herself for battle, Diana walked into the classroom. Professor Kumar hadn't arrived yet, but she could see Remus sitting at the front of the class on his usual seat. The space beside him was empty, where Diana always sat.

     As though sensing her presence, Remus turned his head and his eyes got locked with Diana, who stood frozen at the doorway. With sadness in his eyes and an apologetic smile on his lips, he sent her a little wave.

     Giving him a cold glare, Diana looked away from him and walked up to one of the empty seats at the end of the class, furthest away from Remus.

     His face suddenly fell, and his heart got filled with agony and guilt. Remus knew what he had done was wrong, but he'd thought that he was keeping her from being hurt.

      He knew that if his friends found out about them, they would tease him for dating a Pureblood Slytherin girl who had a reputation when it came to her  bad temper. Remus didn't want Diana to feel hurt because of his friends' harsh words and teasings. But as it turned out, he was the one who had hurt her, and that was the last thing he wanted.

     It pained his heart to even think that he had caused her any pain, and he wanted to make it right. So, Remus mustered all his courage and got to his feet to walk up to her and talk to her, but before he could even take the first step, the teacher entered the classroom and he had to sit back down.

     "Hello. Sorry I'm late. Everyone take your seats, please," said Professor Kumar as she hurriedly walked up to the front of the class where her desk was and placed her books down upon it.

     Although when she looked up, she took aback when she saw that Diana's seat beside Remus was empty. Professor Kumar glanced around the room, only to find the Slytherin girl sitting at the back of the class, her chin resting on her palm as she doodled in her book with her quill. She looked awfully sad and dull.

     Guessing that it had something to do with Remus, Professor Kumar decided not to interfere, and so, clearing her throat, she began the lesson.

***

      "... it is also strongly believed that Vikings used runes for divination. The evidence for divination in the Viking Age suggests a culture of prophecy by seeresses," said Professor Kumar as the class was coming to an end. "Now, a Völva was a woman in the Viking age who practiced magic, also known as Seidr. Who knows what that word means?"

     Remus raised his hand, and when Professor Kumar pointed at him, he said, "Um, I can't be sure, but I think it means a spiritual leader."

     "Good guess, Mr. Lupin, but that's not the correct answer. Anyone else?" Professor Kumar looked around the class, her eyes lingering on Diana a moment longer, hoping that she would answer, but she remained silent.

      Remus knew that 'spiritual leader' was the wrong answer and the correct one was 'to bind', but he had hoped that if he'd said something wrong, Diana would try to correct him and they could have one of their usual fun arguments in class.

      But when he glanced at her from behind his shoulders, he saw that she wasn't even paying attention to the lesson. Instead, she was now glancing out of the classroom's window, lost in her thoughts.

     Professor Kumar ended the lesson at last after giving them an essay to write on the history of witchcraft in the Viking age.

     As soon as Professor Kumar dismissed them, Remus got to his feet to go and talk to Diana, but he saw that she had already packed her stuff and was leaving the class.

     Cursing under his breath, he briskly pushed all his books into his bag and ran out of the classroom as quick as possible. He then saw Diana pacing hurriedly down the corridor and getting further away from him, her steps heavy and angry.

    Remus made a run toward her, his long limbs coming to his aid and helping him to catch up with her soon.

     "Diana! Diana, wait!" Remus called after her as he approached her.

      "Can I help you?" Diana said blankly without slowing her pace or even looking at him.

      Her words cut through his heart like a knife, though they were the same words he had told her last night in front of his friends, and he regretted it most ardently.

     "Are you mad at me?" Remus asked, even though he knew it was a stupid question.

    "Make a guess."

    "Er... No?" Remus chuckled nervously, trying to lighten the mood.

      "Make another guess."

      "Look," Remus started, holding onto her arm in a quick motion so that she had to stop walking, forced to look up at him, though there was only hatred in her glaring eyes. "I'm sorry, okay?"

     "No, it's okay," she said sharply, pulling her hand out of his grasp. "Do you have any idea how humiliating it was for me? Do you have any idea how bad I felt?"

"I know, I know. And I'm really sorry. I really am."

"Tell me something, Remus, and I want you to answer me honestly," she began earnestly, her eyes boring up into his. "Are you ashamed of being with me?"

"What?" He shook his head briskly. "No! No, of course not —"

"Then why did you pretend like you didn't even know me!?" she snapped at him angrily, feeling the fire growing inside of her.

"It wasn't like that, Diana. Of course I'm not ashamed of you. I just... I just didn't want my friends to tease you about it. In case you haven't noticed, they have a reputation of giving Slytherins a hard time."

"Oh, believe me, I know." She scoffed bitterly. "I know, because I was there when they freed dozens of Pixies in our common room, I was one of the victims of their prank in second year when they poisoned our drinks and caused hair to grow all over our bodies, and I was the one who Sirius Black planned on dating only so he could spy on our Quidditch team. But you know what? It's funny that I refer to all this as 'they', when you were part of it too!"

"Listen, I don't deny that I found some of their pranks funny and helped along, but I never agreed on the way they bullied some of the Slytherins!"

"And how does that make you any better than them? You're their friend! If you cared about them so much and if you truly thought what they'd been doing was wrong, then why didn't you do anything to stop them? Why don't you even say anytime to them!?"

Remus's face fell, his heart sinking. "It's — it's not that easy, okay?"

"Why not, exactly?"

He sighed miserably, running his hands over his face. "They accepted me despite everything — despite who I am. I — I didn't want to break their trust or scold them. I couldn't. I was too afraid that... I was afraid that they wouldn't want to be friends with me anymore. They were all I had. I was so alone before they came along. I didn't want to lose them."

Diana fell silent. She pitied him, and deep down, she wanted to pull him closer to her and tell him that he wasn't alone, but she couldn't. The wounds he had cut in her heart were still too fresh.

"They weren't the only ones who accepted you, Remus. I'm here for you, too," she said, the burning sensation resurfacing in her throat. "I tried to put everything aside for you. I tried to look past everything I used to know, and to change all the beliefs I had. But it just hurts when I know you're not willing to make the same effort for me, or at least help your friends to think differently of someone like me. Evil Pureblood Slytherins? That's what they call us, don't they?"

"I never thought of you badly —"

"You know what the problem with Gryffindors is?" she broke him off sternly. "You think that people like me — these evil Pureblood Slytherins — are prejudice people and full of hatred who are unable to change. But if you ask me, your friends aren't any better. Some of them hold the same prejudice toward us. They won't even give us a chance to be better."

"I'm sorry..." Remus finally whispered after a long pause full of silence, no longer looking into her eyes. "I just can't change them."

Diana looked away from him, her eyes filling with tears that she fought to hold back.

"Then I'm sorry, too," she whispered, throwing one last glance at him before turning around and leaving the corridor.

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