I was biting the insides of my cheeks as we walked up to the door of the Purgatory café. It was a habit I was still trying out, and indeed seemed to be one fraught with the constant risk of pain- much like my current situation.

Truthfully, I had no reason to cross the threshold and actually enter. I could leave Dohn here happily, content that there was no way he could have died on the five foot journey.

But I'm a sucker for bad choices with the potential to turn out okay. I didn't just walk in with him, I led him- holding his wrist, yes, but walking ahead and gesturing about like my previous two visits hadn't resulted in grievous injury.

I was stopped fairly quickly. Luxury, it seemed, had his duty in guarding the door. You'd think he'd have something fancier as the husband of the owner.

"No." He said, raising a single finger and walking slowly towards me. I think he was expecting me to back off.

"I'm just leaving Dohniel here. Heaven's no longer safe. He just needs to rest for a few days."

"Then where will I head?" Dohn asked behind me.

"You know what I have requested of you." I whispered, turning briefly to face him. "You will succeed, I am sure, at it."

"You've been banned. Obviously, I should hope." Luxury said.

"Did Lucky order that?"

"Obviously."

"Look, I didn't mean to bring Michael here. He just sort of followed me. And besides, I have no problem leaving right now. I just need assurance of Dohn's safety."

"Michael did what?" Dohn asked like it was one word, looking to me for answers. I was forced to ignore him.

"We can't trust any of your associates. If Heaven is posing any risk to him, he surely can find plenty of safety on this Earth. But not in this building."

"It will be short. And it will be good for him to be around other angels."

"I feel like some sort of herd animal in this conversation. Will I die of loneliness if I don't associate with my own kind for a day?" Dohn was mocking me, resentful of the place since he had recognized it to be a fallen gathering place. "They're not even real angels anyways."

"They're realer than I am." I corrected before Luxury could grow mad. "They still have wings. Still have some of Michael's esteem. And reconnecting with old friends will do good for your heart."

"Yes, like the boon you've become to me." He rolled his eyes. "Old friends break your heart, not make it."

"Don't make words rhyme." I scolded. Then I turned back to Luxury. "Let him stay. I'm this close to begging."

A sort of localized quiet came over the entrance corner. Then I realized the silence had walked over- Lucky had appeared from beyond one of the pale wood doors of the café. It was a bit surprising to see her alive, but only in that the sight of her dead body was brought back to my mind. Logically, it made sense that if her brothers could revive, she could too.

"Mik trying to return to us again?" She said, sounding like she was asking a question, but it was understood as an observation. She looked different, actually, unlike Michael who had been identical after death. Her face seemed gaunt and stiff, and I realized she was both exhausted and angry.

But still, quiet.

"I need my friend to stay safe. Dohniel." I gestured towards him, and he was too distracted by Lucky to make any sign of acknowledgement.

"What threat is there to a full Graced angel?" She asked carefully, sounding like whatever answer I offered would never be a surprise.

"Hell's begun its last assault. Everyone is dying. And from what I have heard, there is a very good chance the dust will settle on an empty city."

"Took them long enough. Angels always knew where they were, they always knew where the angels were, you really would have thought they would have tried this years ago."

"I can't explain the actions of either side. But I believe they were only trying to keep their numbers safe."

"How is Michael now?" She was still distracted.

"He died, but he's back, and went off to find th- your other brothers. He was in Hell, briefly, but mostly for fun I think. Made some rather... rude, I think, remarks about you."

"Yeah, godfuck he does that often. If you see him again, you're best off asking him about it. He'll piss himself at the excitement of getting to complain about me."

Dohn still seemed half shocked and half confused by Lucky, while Luxury was standing dutifully nearby. "Why... does he do that?"

"Why did he create Heaven? Why did he do any of the things he did? Because he really hates me. It's no more complex than that. He made himself Michael the Archangel, god of his kingdom- and he needed a Lucifer to match."

"I don't understand." I urged, feeling like her words were supposed to make more sense.

"Ask him sometime. Just promise you'll laugh, and your friend is free to stay."

"How will you kn-"

"He stays. You leave." Lucky illustrated the concept with a few simple waves of her hand. "I don't want Heaven to end. But I don't want the demons to die either. Don't let him join in the fighting."

"Michael doesn't fight with us." Dohn spoke up at once, returning to the age-old fact of sticking with that you know when you have no idea what's going on.

"He doesn't need to." I said. Then I grabbed Dohn lightly by both shoulders and smiled. "I won't be seeing you ever again."

"Not a very optimistic goodbye."

"Would you like me to pretend my body isn't going to collapse from two-hundred years of abuse in a few hours?"

"I know what you have to do. I know who you are." He sighed. "You could just say something peppier. I never see you smile."

"That's a straight up lie. I was smiling like... ten seconds ago! These bullshit lies you're spreading, they are what is causing me to again frown."

"Let's not drag this out so long that we begin to ache. Goodbye, Castellano. I hope your girl sex acquaintance is not dead. Or is it better if she's dead? You know, so she doesn't have to outlive you?"

"We were not in love."

"Okay. So I wish her to be alive." He clapped me once on the shoulder. "Best of luck in that regard."

I clapped his shoulder back, but it felt sort of silly. I went in for a hug instead. "Those paintings better be worth the hassle."

"With the trouble you bring to the world, I suppose there's no way my art can be worth it."

"You're damn good at painting trees, Dohn. Never forget that."

"I have other talents too." He complained.

We were unwilling to let each other go.

Luckily- or, perhaps that's a bad word choice in this case- fortunately, Lucky then gave a sort of hard tap of her foot, and we both recognized it as a signal to depart.

Dohn blew me a kiss as I was leaving. A second later he blushed lightly and called out. "That was a platonic air kiss!"

As I left the building, he ran to the window and yelled after me. "Just so, ya know, you're not left wondering if I was in love with you. I'm not an idiot. And I have far better taste in men!"

I was sad enough as I walked towards the Hellmouth that I started wishing for the Grace to begin to wear off. I was too healthy right now- well, barely, but better than I had been lately- and I was being filled with an overwhelmingly inconvenient desire to live.

I chided myself for being so fickle to believe in a choice between life and death. Even if I started subsiding off blood, Michael would come for me eventually to finish the error he had created.

I jumped through the Hellmouth, slightly disoriented by the rift that lay there. For whatever reason, the entrance to Hell managed to stand in both the past and the future- but Hell itself was confined to only one time. Cold, damp air rushed, and I took a moment to breath and gaze through the small skyward opening at the darkening sky.

Someone was sitting on the Hellmouth- I saw their silhouette briefly as they leaned over to see who I was. I climbed out to investigate, and took a moment to recognize who I saw.

"You must have a number of those coats made for you." I said to Alexander Scott, recalling how I had once killed him in that very grey and fur-trimmed coat.

"Just one. Family heirloom and all. I don't wear it on dangerous days." He said. Then he turned to face me. "Wait. Who're you?"

"You... don't recognize me?"

He shook his head.

"I killed you maybe four times."

"Oh. Guess I do remember you then. Thought I killed you off, angel."

"Human now."

Instead of replying, Alexander pulled a tightened his lips briefly and kept quiet. After a moment, he spoke. "You're not very interesting."

"We barely started talking." I walked closer to him, climbing on top of the Hellmouth. I wasn't going to stay and talk to him, no matter how much power he held. I had other things to do.

"I have more exciting things to watch for." Almost on cue, I was reminded of the nearby fighting- and the sounds of it swarmed my hearing. "It's almost done."

I was quiet. Even if I was going to join my former brothers in death, I did not enjoy the prospect of them dying in the first place.

"Michael will show." I said. "Even if all the other angels die, he will show. And then it won't matter anymore."

I jumped back through the Hellmouth.

He took a moment to speak, meaning I had been waiting five minutes at the elevator before I heard his voice again. "Michael is a god among gods, while I only rule mortals. But let it be said: I created him all the same."

I continued waiting. "He can't die."

"Neither can I."

"So you two can fight until the end of time. Go ahead. It doesn't concern me."

His apparent refusal to move from above ground meant his voice was slightly muffled and hard to hear when mixed with gunfire. "He was looking for you earlier." He said, and I had the impression he was rather perturbed by this fact. "Walked right past me. Into Hell."

I said thank you despite not needing to, and took the elevator down.

I went right down to Wrath. It felt like I was early, actually. Certainly not falling apart yet. Of course, it was in poor taste to even think the words 'falling apart' when everything around me certainly had.

I came out in the spare halls, places where the lights had mostly gone but the infrastructure still stood. As I traveled up the hall, towards the entrance to Wrath, the floor was coated in dust, fragments of tile, and dirt. It was utterly silent, too, the only light being from the elevator. Evacuations from Wrath had likely ended by now.

There was a small corridor where the path I took turned to a crossroads between Wrath and the between-levels hallway. The main elevator line stopped here. A bit past it, a gradual build-up of rubble began, piling until it was a wall itself.

If there were any bodies, they were buried in rock.

I had not known Lilith Starlin's middle name. That was my thought as I turned around went to Pride instead. I was in love with names. It was a dead love- much like her, I suppose, except I honestly had not loved her- but it was one that could slowly be revived. Unlike her.

A name is a grace. Those were words burned into my mind, seared like the image of Moll's harsh face. A name is an angel. And angels can never die.

But now that Lil was dead, her name had no choice but to die. Who was going to speak it any longer? Who would hold her eulogy?

I couldn't speak for her. I hadn't known her well enough to ever learn her full name. I had skipped to the intimates, dropping a surname and half of the letters just for an excuse to not think of Lily, some irrelevant goddess dreamt by a mad boy and modeled after a mother.

But I hated letting things rest just as much as I hated uncertainty. So when the elevator stopped at the entrance hall in Pride, I turned to the right to speak with the police.

The woman I approached eyed me cautiously. "I should put you in hold somewhere."

"I'm looking for someone dead." I said.

She blinked in surprise. "We've been compiling a list. Mercedes has it. But you may have to come over and... identify the body yourself." She pointed to a woman across the hall. When I set out, the first cop followed. "I shouldn't let you wander."

"I'm good." I tried waving her off. Then I turned to Mercedes, who seemed equally nervous. "I'm looking for Lilith Starlin. Red hair."

She touched a few things on her phone, presumably scrolling through a list. "We've found no one by that name. We have unidentified bodies over-" She just pointed to the corner of the room instead of finishing her sentence, and like the first cop, seemed reluctant to let me walk away.

I ignored them. Work had been underway to dig through the cave-in, and in the process they had uncovered a number of bodies. But a number of those had not just been crushed to death- they had burned first. A good number were purely unidentifiable, surely, but this small tent area was for the 'burned but not charred' variety of body. I walked between them, not feeling as ill as I should have. I just felt guilt. And not even, not yet, guilt for having done this- just guilt for not caring that I had.

Lil was not among these dead, that I was quite sure of. But of course, she had been right at the bottom of Wrath when the explosions hit, so if they found her body it wouldn't be until excavations reached there; far longer than my lifespan.

"Michael." I heard someone say, and I turned to find the source. That name would always keep me guessing.

The person who said it was a survivor of the blasts, and utterly repulsive to me- a rude thought to have, but a gut one. They were in a wheelchair, moving towards me much to the worry of a medial attendant. Their skin was blistered all over, bright pink with the occasional black scab or twinge of red blood. Bandages over their left eye indicated that it had been lost, likely impaled by flying rubble. The other eye didn't seem better either, watery and red. Their hair had once been red, but most of it had burned or else was covered in-

Red hair. Waiting for me.

"You made it!" I said, but I was speaking with the sort of enthusiasm you'd expect from someone who just found a long-lost pen. I willed myself to smile broader. "Alive. Well."

"Not well, and half alive." She smiled, but her face made it look grimmer than I hoped it was. "You were searching for me among the dead."

"You'd have been safer on the streets." I said, watching the floor like it wasn't already clear that I had done this to her.

"But I didn't want to be there. I'm not fine, Michael. I'm not happy. But I haven't been for a long time before this. It's a happening, but it's mine to sort out."

"But it's my fault."

"I can't imagine you wanting this." She put a hand on my shoulder and stared into my eyes.

"Please don't forgive me." I confessed. "It doesn't feel right."

"It isn't. So don't worry so much."

I felt like now was the time to kiss her, but looking at her shining skin and bloodstained bandages and ruined face, I did not feel very attracted to her. I should have though, maybe, out of some kind of loyalty alone. But she was disgusting to look at now, as much of a ruin as the area beyond the elevator she had been found in. I couldn't even bring myself to touch her face.

"You said you've long been unhappy. I could... be in love with you. If you could be happy for me."

She smiled again, and the longer I looked at her face the closer I came to understanding it. Her eye had a sort of gloss to it that I knew from when I used to watch her laugh. Her cheeks were bruised, but they still could be pulled, revealing dimples that were too deep to be burned away. "Are you asking to marry me? Michael, you know, I don't think it's a good idea for you to love again for a very long time."

"Again?"

"Not since me. Since Michael, since Stacy, since whoever else you've come to worship. I never loved you."

"I never loved you either."

"This is cute." She said, hand running through my hair. "We're almost affirming our vows."

"I'm going to die in a few hours." I blurted out.

"Goodbye, Michael." Lil said, still with half of a smile. "It's been terrible to me to know you at all."

I finally kissed her, and it was awful since she was so disgusting- but there was something familiar too, something I was inclined to recall more and more as I kept guilt on my mind. This was Lil. I had known her in many ways. Her skin could ooze, but as long as she existed, she was Lil. And neither of us had to be alive for that to be true.

"What's your middle name?" I asked.

"I don't have one." She said with a grin, but as I watched her turn away I saw it drop in an instant.