@ myself: stop being so petty ya big dumb dumb

@ my best friend: I'm really actually very truly sorry (and as my best friend ((I hope)) you know how much I hate apologizing so here ya go)

@ myself again: YOU'RE TEARING THIS FAMILY APART

@ my hopefully still best friend: BABY COME BACK YOU CAN BLAME IT ALL ON ME (cuz it's all my fault because I pilot the petty train 24/7)