Chapter Forty: Goodbye Is Not Forever

(The Battle Of Starcourt, Pt. 11)

***

Alistair didn't want to believe this was happening.

He'd wanted to deny it ever since Will had told him when he snuck over to stay the night at his place a few months ago, but he couldn't now. Not when he was standing in Will's room, everything in it either packed up to go, to donate, or had been sold.

Moments before the Byers would move away from Hawkins. Forever.

Alistair swallowed the lump in his throat as he stood there, surrounded by the boxes making up his boyfriend's life, trying to grapple with how outside of holidays, he'd never see Will in person again, how he would now have to talk to him on the phone instead of them sneaking to each other's places and go on secret dates together, of no more stolen kisses and secret handholds and discreet flirting out in public, of those amazing nights when they made out and fell asleep in each other's arms, of all those amazing months not being possible with Will being on the other side of the country. Of never seeing Will, his boyfriend who'd first been his best friend, who he thought would always be there by his side, again.

At least you have your powers, a voice reminded him—Alistair at least could use his power to have his soul be with Will, no matter the distance, something that had gotten easier since that night. And he would call Will every day—probably clog up the landline, but Alistair wouldn't care. Probably try and steal Dustin's Cerebro to talk to him, when Mike wasn't using it to call El.

They could make it work. But Alistair was going to miss Will like hell, miss him like a physical ache in his being.

He would miss El, of course—he would forever miss the girl he saw as another sister, and he was certain she would miss him, the first person of the Party she'd truly become friends with—and would also clog up the line talking to her. But Will was his boyfriend, the person he liked so much it hurt. It was indeed going to be hell to miss him, to continue a relationship that was already so secret to begin with.

But he was willing to do it, to make it work. They would have it work.

"Hey," Alistair heard and he looked back to see Will there, leaning on the doorframe. His boyfriend smiled, but the look of missing him was clear on his face. 

"Hey," Alistair replied, moving to him. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, just... gonna miss everyone. Max, Cami, Lucas, Dustin, Mike. You," Will responded, his hand grazing Alistair's, pinky finger locking around his. Their special gesture, of sharing hand holds and kisses in a touch that would have no one think it meant that.

"I'm gonna miss you too. And El," Alistair murmured, pressing his forehead against Will's. "And I'm gonna use my powers to visit you as much as I can. When I'm not calling you up or stealing Cerebro from Mike and Dustin."

Will laughed, before his smile faded as he let go of Alistair's finger. "Do you think we could still do this? That it will last when we're states apart?"

"We'll make it work, okay? If we can fight monsters, have you escape from a horror dimension and then a body-snatching demon and I can kick death's ass, then we can make this work," Alistair assured firmly, holding Will's hand. "I mean, the world already wants to kick us down for this. Let's just spite it even further."

Will laughed again, and it sounded more genuine, as he whispered, "I really wanna kiss you."

Alistair looked up, checking no one was in the hall before he let go of Will's hand and closed the door. He turned around and said, "Go ahead."

Will smiled and he walked up to Alistair,  the curly-haired boy's eyes closing as Will kissed him, hands holding his curls. Alistair held Will, sinking into the kiss as he felt himself be pressed up against the wall. They kissed like they knew it would be months until they could kiss each other again, memorising the other's mouth, the other's taste, the feeling that sparked in them, committing a sin of loving that felt so saintly, so right.

God, Alistair was going to miss these secret, wonderful kisses.

When they had to pull back for air, Will looked at the boxes, at what else was left to pack away, and he asked, "Wanna help?"

"Do I have to?" Alistair whined. "Maybe I could hide you in my trailer like we hid El in Mike's basement."

"Al," Will said, but he was smiling.

"Come on, let a boy dream, okay?" Alistair said, also fighting his own grin.

Will laughed, shaking his head. "Sorry, but that dream isn't gonna happen. As nice as it is."

"Damn it," Alistair muttered, before he sighed and said, "Okay, I'll help."

Together, they worked on packing the rest of Will's life away, Alistair trying not to show how much he was going to miss Will on his face as he did it. He sent to work on packing some shirts away—including a Hellfire Club shirt that Eddie had given Will a month ago. Even though Will had started Hawkins High for only a week before he had to be withdrawn due to moving and couldn't be in Hellfire with Alistair, Mike, Dustin and Lucas—who'd surprisingly made the basketball team even though he was just the benchwarmer so far—Eddie had still given him a shirt, telling Will that there would always be a spot in Hellfire for Will the Wise, to which Will had been shocked by but he smiled and had worn the shirt for the rest of the day. 

When Alistair was done, he put by the rest coming with Will to the house in California.

The place Dr. Owens had chosen for the Byers to move to, for El's safety.

Alistair clenched his teeth, even as he knew that would be right call for El, but that didn't mean he had to like it. Will's hand held his shoulder, soothing Alistair as he leaned into it—taking any touch he could get, every hand hold and kiss, memorising it.

Together, they finished off packing as Will grabbed his D&D manuals and Alistair opened up the door. Outside, he heard Max, Lucas and Cami singing, "Turn around, look at what you see!"

Alistair grinned—apparently, Suzie was indeed real, and she and Dustin had sung Never Ending Story together, as Will had told him with a wicked grin. Of course, it resulted in relentless teasing and countless renditions of Never Ending Story, much to Dustin's irritation. And Alistair could feel it as he and Mike walked down the hallway as Max, Lucas and Cami kept singing, Hugin cawing along, until Dustin yelled, "Shut up, you guys."

"Rhymes that keep their secrets!"

"Stop! You guys, please, shut up!" Dustin yelled as Alistair rolled his eyes and he and Will walked to the end of the hall, where to Alistair's surprise Will put his D&D stuff into the donations box.

Mike noticed as well, saying, "Whoa, dude. That's the donation box."

"I know. I'll just use yours or Al's when I come back," Will explained. "I mean, if we still wanna play."

"Always, Will," Alistair said as Mike nodded. A few weeks after the Mind Flayer and Alistair and Will's secret date at the arcade, they replayed the campaign again, and true to their words, Lucas and Mike were infinitely more invested in it, especially when Dustin glowered at them when he'd heard of the first time they'd played it without him. And Hellfire reignited the love for the game in Lucas and Mike even more, like Alistair knew it would.

"Yeah, but what if you want to join another party outside of Hellfire?" Mike asked.

"Or want to play a campaign in Hellfire?" Alistair questioned.

"Not possible," Will said, grinning. Mike and Alistair returned the grins.

"I'll go and say goodbye to El. See you guys in a minute," Alistair said, letting his hand ghost near Will's before he left to El's room.

Alistair had still been surprised that Joyce had adopted El, but maybe he shouldn't be—Joyce had always acted like a mom to El. And he was glad it was the Byers—if not them, then his aunt would have adopted El in a heartbeat. Alistair was certain she had adoption papers with dubiously legal signatures before Joyce announced she was taking in El and adopting the young girl after losing Hopper.

El deserved to have a chance at happiness, a chance at a normal life, even if she had to move across the country for her safety and she had lost her dad.

When he saw El, he greeted, "Hey."

"Hey," she responded, smiling but a look of frustration was on her face, a look of loss. Alistair knew why—after Starcourt and after the bite from the Mind Flayer, El's powers had disappeared. In the three months after, they had shown no sign of returning, and El had been frustrated and grieving over it. Not like Alistair blamed her. As much as his powers gave him trouble and scared him and he had hated them at one point, they were part of him and would always be. If he lost them... he didn't know how he would function without them.

Still, he didn't make a mention of it as he asked, "Are you ready to go, Jean Grey?"

"Almost," she said, tugging the flannel around her. She looked at him with her solemn brown eyes and Alistair opened his arms, saying, "C'mere."

El didn't hesitate, barrelling into Alistair's arms and hugging him tightly. Alistair hugged her back just as tightly, as El mumbled, "I'm going to miss you, Al."

"I'm gonna miss you too," Alistair responded, swallowing the knot of tears in his throat, holding El as he stroked the knobs of her braids with one hand, remembering when they first met.

He smiled. "You know, I still remember when we first met."

"Really?" El replied, voice half-muffled before she pulled away from Alistair.

"Yeah. In the rain, wearing that Benny's Burgers shirt. Your head buzzed," Alistair reminisced, fiddling with the ends of El's braids, knowing what a joy it would be to El that she now had hair to braid, almost like she was growing out of and healing from her trauma. "And now, here we are."

"Here we are," El murmured. She grabbed his hand, squeezing it. Alistair squeezed it back, saying, "I'll call you as much as I can, Jean Grey."

El smiled. "I'll call you, too."

Alistair smiled, hugging El again before he left, rejoining the rest of his Party—seeing Will there, joining in annoying Dustin with singing Never Ending Story, Hugin on his shoulder, as Dustin looked like he wanted to murder all of them. When he noticed him, he cried, "Al! Get them to stop!"

Alistair smirked wickedly. "No. In fact..."

Opening his mouth, Alistair sang, "Rhymes that keep their secrets, will unfold behind the clouds!"

Dustin gaped, before hissing, "Traitor," and flipping his middle finger as now all of them sang a rendition of Never Ending Story together, Cami the better singer out of them all by far. At some point, Alistair had gotten close to Will, their shoulders knocking together as they sang, almost like they were singing it to each other.

However, the singing party had to end, especially as Jonathan, Nancy and Joyce had stepped in to remind them they were supposed to be helping the Byers move out, as they helped pack up and carry out the boxes in the Byers house out the the truck, taking a couple of trips before it was all out. Alistair paused, staring at the house, a house that contained so many memories, both before and after the Upside Down, Hugin now on his shoulder, standing close to Will, their hands inches from touching. As if he was memorising it, every detail, every ghost.

He looked at Will, saw him doing the same, before he sighed shakily and he turned to leave his home behind. Alistair followed, as they along with everyone else left the Byers house for one last time.

Outside, Alistair saw the familiar blue car that belonged to Valerie Martinéz as she and his sister got out—judging how Steve wasn't there, he was probably still doing his job interview alongside Robin.

Rowan raised a hand, waving to the Party. "Hey."

They waved back as she headed toward them, stopping to give a side-hug to Max. She rolled her eyes, but didn't pull away as Rowan looked to Joyce and asked, "Is that... everything?"

She pointed to the truck as Joyce nodded.

"Yeah, it is," she responded, sounding tired. Not like Alistair could blame her, after everything she endured, everyone she lost, and yet she was still going, still strong.

He wondered if he could be that strong, especially with that night, if he could stay standing like his favourite song said.

His sister nodded and looked at them, looked at the Byers, as if she was memorising every detail of their faces—not like Alistair had done the same with Will's—before she noticed El wasn't there and she asked, "Hey, where is she?"

"Inside, I think," Joyce answered, looking back to the house. "Want me to take you to her?"

Rowan nodded, letting go of Max and following after Joyce. She looked at Alistair, still standing next to Will, unable to show who they really were to each other when Alistair wanted nothing more to show it, but he knew that Will was still scared of revealing they were more than friends. He looked at his sister, shuffling his feet. Their dynamic, while irreversibly changed since that night, was mending. At least, Alistair knew Rowan thought it was—Alistair knew there was a change between them, a difference toward him from Rowan that he knew she didn't think she was doing. But Alistair knew, and he pretended not to, tried to pretend things were being fixed. If they ever could when he died and Rowan had grieved him before he resurrected, when he was still not entirely sure he was alive (or if he was potentially immortal now)

Still, he gave her a smile that didn't feel faked, before he turned to Will, murmuring, "You mind if I call you the minute you arrive?"

Will grinned. "I was gonna ask the same."

Alistair's lip tilted up, before he sighed. "I'm gonna miss you so much."

"Yeah, but we'll see each other, okay? Whether at Thanksgiving, or... or sooner," Will assured, hand reaching for Alistair's but halting.

"Yeah, but it's gonna be hard not seeing you everyday and... y'know," he whispered, and Will gave a sad smile.

"Same here," he whispered.

Alistair smiled, saying quietly so only Will could hear, "And then, one day, in the future... we won't need to worry. Maybe go to someplace only we can go, that we know. Where we can be..."

Will looked at him, understanding. "Me too."

Hugin cawed, a twinge of annoyance through the bond, but Alistair didn't care as he linked a finger with Will's. The kiss he wanted to share but couldn't.

Behind him, he heard the creak of a porch as Rowan and Joyce went inside. Alistair didn't look back, focused on further committing Will to memory, to remember what it felt like to hold his finger and feel this feeling until Thanksgiving when he would go to California and Alistair would hug him and kiss him senseless and have fireworks explode in him again, to commit this wonderful sin of loving this boy.

After all, Alistair's entire existence and what he could do was a supposed sin, a supposed affront to nature. What was one more, especially when it was as amazing as this?

A few minutes later, Rowan, Joyce and El walked out of the house. Rowan and El walked up to them, and Alistair saw tears she hadn't entirely scrubbed away on her face, but she was smiling as she first hugged Mike tightly, then him, then Dustin and Lucas, and finally Max and Cami as the three girls smiled, clinging to each other. Alistair watched as Will hugged Rowan, before Jonathan hugged her after he let go and finally Joyce, before one last final hug from El. And Alistair watched as Jonathan said goodbye to Nancy and Will hugged the Party before coming to him and pulling him into a hug so tight it felt crushing, like he was trying to crush Alistair's heartbeat into his or Alistair was trying to crush Will's heartbeat into his, hugging for longer than should be acceptable platonically, but Alistair didn't care.

When they finally pulled apart, Alistair was smiling and so was Will, but their eyes were sad as they looked at each other with words they couldn't say and gestures they couldn't share, as Alistair let himself be lost in Will's eyes again. He locked his pinky finger around Will's, letting it say everything—the last handhold, the goodbye kiss they couldn't share.

Then they broke apart, Alistair watching as Will went with Jonathan into his car, as El went with Joyce to her car that was towing the moving truck, the truck that had been closed, and Alistair felt his sister's arm wrap around his shoulders as he tried to keep the tears from falling, watching his best friend and boyfriend drive away, the Byers leaving Hawkins forever.

And when they disappeared, that was when the rest of the Party dispersed—Rowan, Valerie and Cami heading to her car while Alistair, Mike, Max, Lucas and Dustin got onto their bikes. Alistair looked back at the Byers house, as did Mike,before biking away, Alistair biking with Max—she was moving, too, except she was moving to the trailer park and he'd promised he'd help her while Rowan and Aunt Aco would be in the trailer park waiting to welcome Max and her mom, and give them tips and let them know who the good ones and bad ones were in the trailer park.

Alistair looked back to the Byers house one last time before resuming biking down the road, as he heard the faint rumble of Valerie's car before she drove behind them, as Hugin flew off his shoulder and wheeled around with a throaty croak. As he biked with his friends, his Party and felt the cold death and watchful eyes of the ghosts, ghosts who no longer scared Alistair as much now, the bittersweet feeling hanging in the air as the smell of autumn did.

And Alistair hoped, same as he hoped three months ago, that it was truly over and the Upside Down finished and while they were separated, that they could try to live normal lives—that Alistair could try and feel he was really alive again. That no one else would be lost and he wouldn't go through death again, especially if what happened three months ago was a fluke.

That it was all, finally, over.

***

Yeah, uh, about that, Al...

This chapter was really bittersweet to me because the Byers are leaving and Will and Alistair will now be long-distance—of course, they're gonna try to make it work and try to not let distance stop them, but it will be hard—especially when this whole scene was so bittersweet and sad (especially with Hopper's letter 😭) 

Also, listen, the Byers left in October. The Party would have started high school the month before. There is literally no feasible way Will would have not met Eddie or would have not been invited to join Hellfire alongside Mike, Dustin and Lucas before he left Hawkins. So in here, he definitely has, especially since they all met Eddie at Rowan's seventeenth birthday, and Eddie has a spot open to Will the Wise whenever he comes back to Hawkins and wants to play in a campaign with Hellfire and has his own Hellfire Club shirt 😊

But yeah, Alistair has said goodbye to Will, and also got one last hug and goodbye from El. I'm gonna miss their friendship so much 😢

And the Byers have now left! And trust me, writing those final goodbyes hurt my heart, especially Will and Alistair's 😢

And now... s3 is done!!!! S4 is up next and I'm literally so excited for it!!! Are you? >:)

Please read, comment and vote!

GhostWriterGirl out!