I ran through the forest, a dark figure ahead of me. A red ribbon dangled from his hand and I reached out, trying to catch him when he opened his mouth. "Mary Mary was caught unwary." The cold words echoed around me and he disappeared. I whirled around, my heart pounding so hard in my chest I thought it was trying to escape.

"No! Give her back!" I spun around before catching sight of the figure once more. I darted towards him but no matter how fast I ran he was always the same distance from me. It never grew, it never shrank.

"But where did her body go?" His voice was cold and mocking and I felt anger rise up in me. He had done this. He knew. I felt a cold breeze blow and he blew away with the wind as if he were smoke. I stopped running, my chest hurt from the icy air I was taking in as I whirled around, trying to find him, trying to catch him. "With the icy snow and the harsh winds that blow." The snow crunched under my feet and I breathed heavily. I needed to find him. I needed to find her. He was suddenly in front of me and held out the red ribbon.

"Now no one will ever know." He gave me a cold, sickening smile and I leapt at him, ready to tear him to shreds when he disappeared. The ribbon falling slowly to the white snow. I stopped, falling to my knees as I picked it up. I could smell the blood and the dirt on the damaged ribbon. The wind turned to his icy voice.

"Mary Mary was caught unwary. But where did her body go? With the icy snow and harsh winds that blow. Now no one will ever know." The words repeated again and again, echoing in the forest around me and I looked up at the moon. The bright light of it was just as cold as the words and I crumpled the ribbon in my hand. "You can search and you can look, boy, but you will never find what you seek." His icy breath brushed across my ear.

"You will never find her."

My eyes opened and I let exhaled heavily. It was just a dream. The same one I had been having for the past two years. I leaned my head against the cold wall and shook the bottle of whiskey I held in my hand. Only a bit of amber liquid sloshed in the bottom. There were no more bottles. I knew this because I had a hand in drinking them. I rolled my head against the wall to where my Alpha lay on the makeshift bed frame that once held a beautiful little shifter. He had drunk what I hadn't.

It was frigid in the room and my breath came out in a fog in front of my face. I lifted the bottle to my mouth and drank what was left in it. The harsh liquid burned but I welcomed the feeling. I barely felt anything anymore. The last day I felt anything was seven hundred and seventy-six days ago when I watched a nearly skeletal female walk across a field of snow in nothing but a nightgown and a red ribbon tied around her wrist to let the world know she had been banished. It was the day I lost faith in my pack and my Alpha, the day that I learned that my pack was hiding dark secrets underneath its innocent facade.

I wanted to escape it so badly but I knew if I went rogue the Hunters would be given a bounty to kill me. A pack warrior who abandoned their pack was a traitor who deserved death. I hadn't been strong enough to fight against the people holding me down and I knew I would not be able to survive against the Hunters that would chase my bounty. So I threw myself into training, I spent all my energy training so I could be strong enough to survive as a rogue.

The energy I didn't spend on training went to looking for the sweet banished female called Mary Mary. Her scent led me nowhere. It was as if she had disappeared into thin air. I had wanted to help her, to help her survive but she was gone long before the first time I had searched for her. I played with the neck of the bottle. I had searched many times for her during the first two weeks. I searched for her while on patrol. I searched for her when I was supposed to be sleeping. Two weeks into my search I had run into a wild. His dark figure was burned into my brain as he said the words that haunted me in my sleep. His sharp and cold grey eyes held no kindness only cruelty and hate.

Mary Mary was caught unwary. But where did her body go? With the icy snow and harsh winds that blow. Now no one will ever know.

A mocking parody of the nursery rhyme Alpha Lawrence had told me had been her favourite. Her damaged red ribbon had been held in his fist as he said it. He had held it out for me before dropping it and disappearing completely. I hated myself for not paying more attention to him, for not catching a scent but he was a wild, their scent blended in with the forest. He wasn't to be found anywhere. He had disappeared like smoke.

You can search and you can look, boy, but you will never find what you seek. You will never find her.

The words made me shiver. I had told her the ribbon should have been black because I knew she would never survive in her state. I told her and it had come true. There had been no blood on our territory. Nothing of her had shown up until the wild appeared with her tattered ribbon in his fist and his haunting message to Alpha Lawrence.

He hadn't taken the message well. The Alpha, who I had hated for banishing a sickly female who was unable to protect herself, took the message as well as I did. He tore apart his office before trying his best to kill Beta John. John had been lucky to escape with only broken ribs and several large claws marks to his belly and chest. I never understood Alpha Lawrence's anger. I never understood his rage or sadness until I had come into her room to find him sitting on the bed i had made for her with a bottle of whiskey clutched in his hand. His eyes were bloodshot and he said nothing to me as he drank from the bottle, staring at the amber liquid as if it would solve all of his problems.

Night after night I found him in her room until I had asked him why, the word has been hissed at him the hate making the accusation clear. He did not answer my question but told me he had a hard time knowing who he could trust. He then offered me the bottle and it started our tradition of drinking in her room, breathing in her scent. It was comforting for an odd reason. It was also the very first time I had seen my Alpha cry. He would drink until he slurred his words and then he would sob, begging someone for forgiveness. He would do it night after night until he met me in her room and handed me a photo album with the initials M. C. L. carved on the front in spiralling font.

It held pictures of a happy little girl with cocoa coloured hair and stormy grey eyes. He had drunk from his bottle of whiskey as I looked through it and when I had asked him who it was he told me the secret he had been keeping for fifteen years. The little sickly Omega he had banished that day in the snow was Maricella Charlotte Lawrence, his daughter.

I had felt sickened that he had done that to her, that he had allowed her to become an Omega, that he had allowed that bitch Ingrid to rule over her with such cruelty, and that he had banished her from her home. I had felt sickened until he had told me about what Beta John had done, what Ingrid had done, what he himself had unknowingly let happen and that he only banished her because she was going to die. That he had expected his brother to be there to take her to safety. The sweet little Omega I had tried hard to make smile had been rejected by her mate and the bastard had been too selfish to let her break the bond fully. Alpha Lawrence had banished her to save her life, to save his daughter's life.

He had cried for a long time and for once I felt pity for the man who had no one he could trust. I felt sorry for him because his second in command, his most loyal, had turned his adopted daughter into an Omega and then his son had torn her heart from her chest. He cried as his heart broke in his chest with the thought he would never see her again. I saw him in a new light. I saw a broken man with little hope left and I found a friend among the pieces. We shared a commonality. Our lives were in tatters and we were both haunted by her.

Thoughts of her sad grey eyes that told of a harsh betrayal haunted my dreams, leaving me no peace. My dreams were filled with her and her haunting gaze and red ribbons. I did not know why I had fixated on her, even before she had been banished I wished to be around her, to do things to make her smile. I knew many would have scoffed but seeing her with that red ribbon tied around her wrist and wearing nothing but a nightgown in the freezing winter cold made me freeze with cold dread for what was going to happen to her in the freezing and snowy woods.

The day before I had seen her scrubbing floors. I had watched as she scrubbed the floors oblivious to her surrounding her lips mouthing words I couldn't hear and the next day they were banishing her for being unable to do her duty as an Omega. It made no sense, it had no fairness, it had nothing that resembled reason. I stroked the neck of the bottle before looking at the wall across from me.

It was her room. I used to come in to take in her scent, trying to memorize it for when I searched for her but now it was gone. The scent of stale alcohol, sadness and dust filled the air now. There was nothing left of her sweet smell. The smell of flowers and honey that I knew I could never shake from my mind. It was gone from her room though, replaced with my scent and the scent of my Alpha.

The makeshift bed frame I had once proudly cobbled together for the sweet female, creaked underneath the weight on it. "It's still dark out." His voice was heavy and rough with exhaustion and I nodded, pulling myself from my thoughts. I knocked the empty bottle away and hung my head slightly. A headache was building deep in my skull but I was used to the pain.

"I should go do my rounds." I knew my voice sounded just as rough as his did but I didn't care. I moved my arms to rest on my knees. Two years of intense training and the slightly muscular older juvenile I had been was no longer there. I was cold and harsh but I was strong. The only reason I stayed now was because of Alpha Lawrence, he needed someone in this pack he could trust and I knew how the knowledge of his daughter had suffered without him knowing, pained him deep to his core. An aching and terrible wound that I doubted would ever heal.

"Fuck your rounds. We need more whiskey." He coughed and rolled over onto his back, rubbing his hands over his face. His eyes were bloodshot and a scraggly beard covered his face. He sat up and I watched as he let out a heavy sigh.

"Send someone else to get it. I need to do my rounds. Also, you need a fucking shower." I didn't care that I was being disrespectful but he just waved me off. We had reached an understanding of sorts. He allowed my disrespect, I think he enjoyed it, needed it.

"You are a fine one to talk, whelp. You stink just as badly as I do." He stood up, leaning heavily against the wall. "You better get in the shower before Lucas comes looking for you." He spat the words out, his face dark with anger. I watched as he pushed off of the wall. He staggered slightly but righted himself as he walked to the door. I wasn't sure if it was exhaustion on his part or that he was still partially drunk.

"Need to stop coming in here. Her scent is gone." His muttered words didn't faze me. He said that every morning since her scent had been gone. I stood up as well, stretching my stiff muscles. "I miss her. Fuck do I miss her." He leaned against the door, pressing his face into his forearm. His voice was thick with tears and I didn't know what to tell him. I didn't know what to say. I hadn't known her enough to miss her, I hadn't been given the time but there was something there, binding me to her memory. I wondered if it was her large grey eyes that had seemed to look right through me and to my soul. Something about her had reached a deep part of me and refused to let go. From the very first moment I saw her, something had pulled me back to her again and again.

"It doesn't do well to dwell, Alpha." I moved over to the door and he stood up straight once again. "Take a fucking shower and be an Alpha." I pushed past him, opening the door and heading to one of the bathrooms. He didn't say anything about the disrespect and I knew he never would. I wondered if it was because he liked having someone to tell him he was wrong, to tell him that it was his fault. I knew he did what he did for a reason but she had died and that was on him.

After your shower, come to my office. His voice was sharp over the mind-link and I pushed it off. I would do as he said, I always did but he knew that I was more than willing to leave the pack for what they did. I believed that may have been another part in him not getting upset with me like he did the others. He needed me because he could trust me.

I pushed open the bathroom door and slammed it closed. The sun had yet to start to rise and I turned on the shower. I never really slept through the night, the nightmares and dreams plagued me relentlessly whenever I closed my eyes. I stripped off my clothes before stepping into the cold shower. It would warm up in a few moments but for now the icy spray was helping to shake away the cobwebs of the nightmare that plagued me.

I rubbed at my chest, over my heart. A strange pulling, incomplete sensation had filled my chest several months ago. It left me feeling agitated and my wolf feeling restless. I did not know what had caused it but it had happened shortly after Lucas Simmons had been found writhing on the floor naked and in extreme pain. He had to be restrained as he clawed at himself, his claws digging deep into his muscles.

I had watched him with cold eyes as people rushed around me and I felt a sense of justice fill me up. He had deserved those eight hours of pain. He had deserved every hour, every minute, every fucking second he had received for what he did to my Alpha's daughter. I didn't wish to presume to know what my Alpha thought but I knew he enjoyed it as well. We were the only two who silently rejoiced as Lucas was tied to the hospital bed to keep from tearing his own heart out.

The water warmed against my skin and I hung my head, watching it fall around me. The pounding water felt good on my stiff muscles and I held my hand against my chest, feeling my heart beat strongly against my palm. I let my fingers trace around the tattoo that rested above the strong organ. A bouquet of silver bells, lady bells, and cockle shells tied tightly with a red ribbon. It was my memorial for the banished female when everyone around me had forgotten she had even existed. A wolfsbane inked picture placed under my skin by silver needles.

I let my hand run through my hair before I went through my routine. I had no time to linger, my Alpha needed me in his office. The water became scalding but I embraced the pain, knowing that if I burned I would heal within minutes. Steam filled the bathroom as I let the burning water pound my skin. I ran my hand through my hair while I scratched as my slight beard with my other one. I turned off the shower and stepped out. I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my waist before I used my hand to clear the fog off of the mirror. I looked at my reflection with a critical eye.

I looked tired, older than I had seven hundred and seventy-six days ago. I was twenty-six years old and I looked so much older than that. There was a cold, hard look in my blue eyes that never went away and I knew sometimes it mixed with disgust whenever I was dealing with the pack. None of them had stood up for her, none of them even tried.

For the good of the pack, the weak must be banished.

It had been painful for me to hear the words coming out of her dry and cracked lips. She had said it and her stormy grey eyes were filled with betrayal and tears. Everyone had taken up the words as she walked through them. They didn't reach out to stop her. They didn't offer her a jacket or anything to bring her comfort. They said those words and watched as she disappeared forever. They were not worth protecting in my eyes. They had committed a terrible crime and the Hunters should have been allowed to destroy them all.

The bathroom door opened and closed and I cursed myself for not locking it. A red haired woman smiled at me before dropping the towel she had wrapped around herself. I glanced at her for a brief moment before I turned back to the mirror.

"Do you want some company?" She was beautiful there was no doubt about it but all I could think about was the ivory skin of Mary Mary the very first time I had seen her. Her thin body curving slightly in the right places before she covered it up with a threadbare night gown that was practically see through. Brown curls fell down her back and she had looked like a fallen angel. I had been ashamed that I found her beautiful. I had been ashamed and I hated myself for it because wanting her should have never brought me shame.

"Get the fuck out, Linnette." The words were cold and harsh as I grasped the edge of the counter with white knuckles. I had made the mistake of fooling around with her and she never seemed to get the message that she was nothing more than a passing fuck. That she was never more than something that I used to keep my mind off of everything, off of Maricella Charlotte Lawrence.

Linnette didn't know that I sometimes imagined she had brown curls and wide grey eyes. She didn't need to know I imagined her as a certain little Omega. I felt an amused smirk cross my face at the thought of her horrified face if she found out. She would be not only horrified but disgusted and if anyone else found out she would be shamed.

"Don't be like that." She reached for me and I felt a low growl build in my throat. I didn't want her touching me. It had been like that for the past few months, since the incomplete feeling has settled itself deep in my chest. I didn't want any females touching me.

"I said get the fuck out." I turned my gaze to her and she took a step back, a frown appearing on her beautiful face. "You have a group of potential mates out there. Have some decency and look for them instead of chasing someone who is disgusted by you." I meant for the words to hurt, to sting and her mouth dropped open in shock.

"You don't mean that." She sounded aghast and I stared at her, narrowing my eyes. She never got it. She never understood, much like the few others I had bedded in the past two years. I knew in their minds that if they seduced me, the pack's top warrior, that they would increase their status. They threw themselves at me in the hopes we were mates but I knew better. I knew their attention was empty, they only wanted power. It disgusted me much like Linnette did.

"You do not tell me what I mean with my words. I spoke the truth. You disgust me, Linnette. Your touch repulses me like everyone else's. Save what is left of your pride and leave." I watched as her face crumpled and she snatched the towel off the floor with shaking hands. There was the anger that let me know she finally understood. I looked back into the mirror and waited for her to leave.

"You are a fucking bastard. You can't just play with people's emotions like this." She was angry but she wasn't leaving. I slowly turned to look at her. She froze under my icy glare. I scared her but I liked that I did. If I scared her then she would leave me alone like I wanted.

"I don't have time to play games with you, Linnette. I fucked you, it was a mistake. Get over it and leave me be." I watched as she flinched under my words. I felt no guilt for cutting her down as I was doing. She brought it on herself when she insisted on bothering me.

"You are heartless." She spat the words out. She was trying to hurt me like I hurt her but that truth did not hurt. I was heartless because the little Omega that had been called Mary Mary had taken that part of me when she had made that walk across the snow and to her death. My heart had died with her because the guilt smothered it. I should have told Andrew what Ingrid would do, should have told him she was growing sicker. I should have done more.

"You are right, Linnette, I am heartless. My heart was torn out by the very pack I am forced to protect when they allowed a sick female to cross a field of ice in nothing but a nightgown and a red ribbon." I advanced on her and she shrunk under my gaze and wrapped the towel around herself. I could feel her fear and hear her heart beating loudly in her chest. "My heart was torn out by eyes filled with betrayal and a pack that held me back from saving her. My heart was torn out when a wild returned a tattered red ribbon to me that belonged to that little Omega." I towered over her as she cowered against the door. I brought my face close to hers, grasping the doorknob in my hand.

"My heart was torn out because my pack sent a sick Omega to her death under the guise of banishment." I watched as she shrank further away from me, her breathing speeding up. "I am only heartless because you sick bastards made me this way." I opened the door and she stumbled backwards, landing on her ass outside of the bathroom. She scrambled to her feet, her face was pale as she clutched as the towel and I stared at her.

"You are a monster." Tears filled her eyes and I could see her bottom lip trembling. I blinked slowly. That was a new insult. I had been called many things but not a monster. Coming from her it seemed a bit hypocritical.

"If I am a monster then I would take care to not look too closely in your mirror, Linnette, you might be horrified by the beast that stares back at you from beneath your pretty little mask." My cold words lingered in the air between us and she whirled around, her red hair flying behind her as she bolted. I closed the bathroom door, making sure to lock it before I completed my routine. I opted out of shaving my three day old stubble, not having the energy to complete the task.

I slowly cleaned the bathroom, making sure my mess had been taken care of. After Mary Mary had been banished I hadn't felt right in letting an Omega clean up after me. I had started cleaning up after myself and I found a small amount of peace in the tasks. I could clean up my messes. I could make things that I had dirtied clean again. It was a simple thing to wash a dish or throw a load of my dirty clothes into the washing machine. It was easy to keep my room tidy and in order. I left everything better than how I found it.

I picked up my clothes and left the bathroom. I made my way down the stairs and towards my bedroom. I ignored the other pack warriors that were just getting up or heading to bed. They avoided me like they always did. There had been a time when I would have laughed or joked with them but that was a very long time ago. I could barely look at them without disgust. They claimed to protect the pack but were perfectly fine with letting the weakest of us die alone in the cold.

"Hey, you made my sister cry, shit stain." It was a sharp voice and I paused before I turned my head slowly towards the speaker. He shared Linnette's flaming red hair, it was her older brother Emerson. I was bigger than him but he was surrounded by his friends. He was angry and filled with false bravado, a terrible combination.

"I am not in control of your sister's emotions. The only person who can make her cry is herself and if she cannot handle the truth then perhaps she should avoid those who speak it." I looked at him. I was calm because I knew that no matter what happened I would be the only one standing. I was the pack's top warrior and Emerson wasn't even in the top twenty.

"She told me you were playing around with her emotions. Making her care for you before you cast her off." Linnette moved fast, getting the news to her big brother before I had a chance to even get dressed. I had to admire her tenacity in trying to hurt me like I hurt her. It wouldn't work. The only person who would be hurt would be her brother, depending on how hard I decided to hit him.

"No. I fucked her. I told her that all she would ever be was a fuck and she insisted upon trying to be more than that. It is not my fault she is too stupid to listen." I blinked lazily as he started to growl. He was angry and he moved closer. I kept myself still as he advanced on me. If he wouldn't have been blinded by anger he would have felt wary, he would have thought his actions through. I wasn't the type of shifter to pick a fight with, everyone knew that now.

"That is my baby sister you are insulting." He ground the words out from between clenched teeth and I tilted my head. I watched as one of his friends grabbed his arm glancing at me warily. The smart man understood where this would be going if Emerson insisted upon an altercation. I appreciated his unwillingness to participate in the actions of fools.

"I wasn't aware the truth was an insult." I watched as he took another step before his friend pulled him away. I turned away from him before starting to walk down the hall. I needed to get dressed and then see what Alpha Lawrence required of me.

"Maybe you should go join your dead little Omega bitch." His voice was mocking and despite myself I froze at his words. A cold rage filled me and I tried to push it down. I knew I wouldn't be able to hold myself back from killing him if I let it control me. "Yah, Linnette told me about your obsession with that little runt bitch. She's dead because she was weak. All she ever was, was a dumb little Omega bitch and you sit there bitching and moaning about how we tore your heart out when we banished her. Good. I'm fucking glad we did. I'm glad the little bitch is dead." I took in several deep breaths before I slowly turned around, locking my gaze with Emerson's. His eyes went slightly wide with fear before he tried to cover it up with determination mixed with confidence but I could see the fear on the edge of his expression. I slowly walked towards him. My hands clenched into fists, the one holding my clothes shook slightly.

It was because of these assholes that I hated this pack. It was because of his type of attitude that I wanted to go rogue. It was because of shitty people like him that had the audacity to speak of Maricella Charlotte Lawrence like that, that made me want to destroy each and every one of them. Haunted and betrayed grey eyes flashed through my mind as I stopped walking. She never deserved to have that said about her. Not the poor girl who had been broken for a male's pride.

I was standing close to Emerson, close enough that I could reach out and touch him but not close enough that I couldn't get a proper swing at him. "Repeat that for me." My voice was like ice and I watched him swallow. His pride wouldn't let him keep his mouth shut and I hoped to god he would repeat it. "Please, repeat that." I stared at him and his green eyes narrowed, he would say what I wanted him to. I watched as he slowly opened his mouth and I felt my arm muscles bunch in anticipation.

"I said-" I slammed my fist into his face cutting him off. His cheekbone cracked under the force of my fist connecting with it and I watched as he flew backwards. His eyes rolled into the back of his head and he stayed where he landed in a crumpled heap. His friends grabbed at him, trying wake him and I stared down at his prone form. My knuckles flared with pain but I ignored it, they would be healed in a few seconds, it wasn't worth thinking about the throbbing.

"I heard what you said, Emerson. I just wanted you to give me a reason." I looked around his friends. "Anyone else want to say something?" I watched as they all hunched their shoulders forward, ignoring me and unwilling to look at me.

"Good. It's about fucking time someone had some fucking common sense." I gritted the words out before turning around. "If anyone mentions the word Omega around me they will be getting the same treatment." I spoke loud enough for everyone on the hall to hear me and as a quiet hush fell I made my way to my room and stepped inside.

Everything was in perfect order. My bed hadn't been slept on in months but the Omegas still insisted upon washing the bedding. Even after two years of me doing my own chores I couldn't get them to stop doing the bedding or dusting the room. I threw my dirty clothes in the hamper before pulling out some clean ones. I got dressed quickly before sliding on my boots, lacing them up loosely. I closed my eye breathing heavily, trying to get the anger to slip from my limbs. The icy rage I felt wasn't unfamiliar. It was so familiar it was almost like a comforting friend but I didn't need it distracting me.

Stop punching pack members while naked. Alpha Lawrence's voice forced itself into my head and I let out a surprised bark of laughter as his words. He sounded half amused and half exasperated.

I was wearing a towel. I rolled my eyes slightly as I finished tying my boots and stood up. There was a slight pause and I waited patiently for his reply. I wasn't surprised the news had reached him as quickly as it did. People were always running to him with every little detail about what others did, as if keeping him bogged down with their little lives would make them closer to him. As if tattling on their neighbours would make him like them more.

Okay then, as long as you weren't naked. He cut the pathway off and I smirked slightly before pushing open the door. Emerson was now awake and I moved down the hall. His face was swollen and his cheek had a nasty bruise that I wanted to smile at. His cheek bone had cracked. It would take more than a few hours to heal. My bruised and sore knuckles had already healed leaving me with a phantom throbbing that would go away in a few minutes. I walked past him adjusting my shirt, rolling the sleeves up to my elbows.

"She's just a fucking Omega." His words made me freeze and I closed my eyes before I turned around and stared down at him. His friends backed away from us quickly and I took several steps before I crouched down in front of him, looking into his green eyes. He was scared and I enjoyed making him feel that way. Without a word I reached out and grabbed his throat in a tight grasp before I picked him up and slammed him against the closest wall. Pictures fell off from the force of it and he scrambled, trying to remove my hand from around his neck. I slid him down slightly keeping my gaze lazy as I brought my mouth to his ear.

"That little Omega was the Alpha's daughter and if you say another fucking word I will let him deal with you and believe me, you will wish to have only dealt with me after he is through with you." I whispered the words into his ear and he stopped thrashing, whimpers came from him as I let him drop to the floor. He coughed loudly as he was allowed to inhale the oxygen his pitiful body needed to live. "Run, little Emerson, and pray you don't bump into me again." He scrambled away from me, his face pale as he left without looking back. It was up to him if he believed me or not but I knew he would keep his mouth shut about it.

Strangling them now? Alpha Lawrence sounded amused and I felt my mouth twitch slightly.

I have clothes on this time. I moved down the hall, making my way to the stairs that would take me upstairs to Alpha Lawrence's office.

I don't care. I need you to get to my office. His words were sharp and I made my way up the stairs before pushing his door open.

"I'm already here." I looked over at where he was sitting. His face was shaven for once but it just accentuated how tired he looked. His skin was pale and his eyes were still bloodshot. I once again half wondered if he was still slightly drunk but with how our metabolism worked it was highly unlikely. We burned through a drunken buzz faster than house with a Christmas tree fire.

"Good." He waved me towards a chair and I closed the door before sitting down rather abruptly. The chair groaned in protest at my sudden bulk and I ignored it as I stared at him.

"You look like shit." I watched as he shrugged before a cold smirk crossed his face. He looked almost amused for a moment before the familiar emotionless mask fixed itself over his features. He wore it all the time except for when we were getting drunk in her room. It was the only time I saw him show emotion for his actions.

"I bet not as bad as Emerson looks right now." He leaned back in his chair and I blinked slowly before leaning my head back and staring at the ceiling. There was a lot I needed to do for the day. I had several hours of patrols and then several hours of training before I ran patrols again. After that was more training and there were meals sporadically through there. I never ate with the pack anymore. It was too tedious trying to keep the emotionless mask on. "I want you to challenge Beta John and take his place." I ignored his words and crossed my legs, relaxing into the chair. He did this once a week, it was starting to get tiresome.

"I don't want to be Beta. I want to run away from this shitty pack." I ignored his growl and I tapped my fingers on my stomach. "Why do you think I punched Emerson? Why do you think I scared Linnette shitless? They have no respect, their attitudes are the same as everyone else's and I'm sick of it." I closed my eyes as a silence fell. I knew he understood what I was saying. He knew and he felt the same way, he had told me as much on one of our drinking binges.

"Why did you care about Maricella?" His voice was low and I felt the simmering rage flare up for a brief moment. He had no right to ask that after he was the one who banished her.

"Because what you did wasn't right and it wasn't fair." I lifted my head up and stared at him. He looked at me with a strange expression on his face. I treated her how she should have always been treated. I treated her in the way that was right. I was drawn to her, yes, but I did what was right and that was all he needed to concern himself with.

"You were the only one to stick up for her, Bennett." He shrugged slightly, his shoulder lifting and falling in an almost unconcerned gesture. I bit back a growl. I had been the only one because it had been right and no one in the Tacita pack understood what that meant. Their moral compass was broken, it would lead them straight down to the fiery pits of hell if they continued to follow it.

"So? That doesn't make it any less of an issue. What you did was unforgivable." I glared at him and he avoided my gaze. Silence fell and the ticking of the grandfather clock filled the air. I looked away from him, staring at the dusty bookshelf behind his desk. I didn't like the turn the conversation had taken.

"Did you love her?" His voice was low and I snapped my gaze to his. The question caught me off guard and I let out a growl.

"What type of fucking question is that, Alpha? Did I love her? I did what was right. I was the only one who did in this shitty pack. You might be content to sit there with a mask on and pretend that her leaving didn't hurt you for the sake of your precious pack but I'm not." I spat the words out and he looked at me carefully as if studying my features, looking for an answer to the question he asked. I did not love Mary Mary because I did not know her and he didn't need to put those thoughts into my head. Not when she was dead, not when she was gone. Not when the thought of suffering alone and brought me such pain.

"That wasn't a no." His words slammed into me and I narrowed my eyes before opening my mouth. He had no right to say that shit. The door slammed open, cutting my scathing remark before it could emerge. I snapped my mouth close as I stared at a paled face Beta John. "How many times do I have to tell you to fucking knock?" Alpha Lawrence's voice was filled with venom and Beta John slammed the door closed. He held out his hand before throwing a black ribbon on the desk.