Try to find who you are.

Caihong jerked out of her thoughts, only to find a mess in the wool, and her grandmother snoring.

On any other day, she would have struggled to muffle her giggle, but somehow, today, she didn't find it amusing.

"Why did Ge say that?" she murmured.

She looked back down at the knitting. Anyone would have thought that she was thinking about the next pattern intently. But in reality, it was just the eyeballs that were staring at the fabrics, not the mindful gaze.

Her thoughts carried her back to the two days that she had spent in meditation, which had opened up a new dimension for her.

A new part of her being, whose existence she had never known.

The sounds of the fauna and flora around her slowly died down in time with the painful burn in her forearms and palms. Her eyelids that had been squeezed shut, slowly relaxed and the wrinkles smoothened out. Her breathing evened.

As her spiritual energy began to awaken, her posture straightened, calming both her muscles and mind.

She could feel her golden core coming to life. It was steadily bubbling like a pot of boiling water. She could feel it's every throb, just like her heart, and the sensation delighted her like no other.

Though Zhang wouldn't be able to see a smile on her face, not because his eyes were closed, but because she was deeply immersed in meditation, Caihong did smile.
Every drop of blood in her body was tingling, as if they had been newly created, or as if they had finally discovered a new cause for existence.

She was suddenly aware of a song that only she could hear. It was soft and lilting. It spread throughout her like a wave, caressing her.  She leaned into the comforting melody, just as she would do whenever Anbai would pat her head in her sleep.

*/ She opened her eyes ( not physically, as she was meditating ). But she could see nothing.

' Where am I?' she wondered.
'Ummm... Seems like I am somewhere. At least, I'm standing on something solid. But can someone please tell me, why is it so dark?'

It was uncommonly like Nothing, an empty world which felt like nothing had ever grown there since the beginning of time. The sky was blacker than the gloomiest night. There were no stars and it was so dark that she couldn't see herself. It made no difference whether she kept her eyes open or closed.

For another thing, the voice was still singing that gentle, rippling tune. It was very far away, and Caihong found it hard to decide which direction it came from.

' It's.... lovely.'

The tune started to become clearer and it made her want to sway to the rhythm, and at the same time, just sit down and soak herself in it.

And as the voice kept singing, a wondrous thing happened.

The sky lit up. It wasn't pitch black any longer. Instead, it was draped in a brooding layer of ominous grey and black clouds. It was as grey as a coal miner's handkerchief and so low that the world felt small and close. The air was suddenly thick with the sweet smell of impending rain.

She felt a sudden coldness and heard the rhythmic crashing of waves against the rocks. She found herself standing on a rocky surface right beside the shore. She could taste the brine from the air and the sea spray, as much as she could smell it.

Caihong looked around and felt like she didn’t know how to blink at that moment. She was awe-struck by what her eyes witnessed. For one, she was on an island, right in the middle of an ultramarine sea.
In front of her, was a place filled with the unending grains of golden sand, as if the whole island was made out of gold itself. Shimmering grey, blue and green waters encircled the island. Greenery spread out all around the land, with patches of different coloured flowers that grew among bushes occasionally.
In the distance, was a majestic waterfall that looked like a sheet of blue velour swishing down, its edges hemmed with whipped-white lines. The water thundered down into a pool like a gigantic waterspout.

"Oh, bread crumbs!!" she exclaimed. "Where am I?"

Just then, she heard the same voice which she had heard singing a few moments back. In all her excitement at the landscape around her, she hadn't noticed that the voice had stopped singing.

The voice wasn't singing anymore. It was laughing. The laughter of a female. And she didn't know why, but the laughter felt very familiar.

She soon came to know the reason, as she walked towards the direction of the voice.

It was that girl.

The same rippling dark chocolate tresses, and the same royal blue and purple and golden robes.
She was lying on her belly and leisurely drawing random floral patterns and runes on the soft soil with the help of a twig which had fallen off from the branch of a shady tree.

She was chuckling.

"Caihong... Caihong... So that's my new name, huh? It's really pretty hehe... I like both the names, so... Whatever, I am keeping both. Well, as they say, the best things in life are free. But... they also say that there's no such thing as a free lunch... Hmmm... Whatever... Caihong... I like it.." Saying this, she sighed contentedly and rolled over on her back.

Though she was still puzzling over where she was, and how the girl knew her name, Caihong was overjoyed to see her all the same. Anyone stranded on a lonely mystic island would be thankful for some company.

All of a sudden, it occurred to her that the girl looked different. Not much of change in appearance, it was just that the girl looked older. She looked 16-17 years old.

As soon as Caihong took a step towards her, she tripped over something that had got caught in the lower hem of her outer robe.

Imagine her dismay when she looked down to free her clothes from the obstruction, and she suddenly realised that she couldn't see her self! Nothing! Not even her fingers!

She screamed in horror.

Hearing the shrill cry, the girl quickly scrambled to her feet and swiftly drew a  dangerous-looking dagger from the belt on her slim waist.

"Who's there?" she asked.

"Please help me, friend, I can't see myself... Aaahhh... Where did I disappear?" Caihong wailed.

"Where are you?" The girl called.

"I'm here on this ledge."

The girl took cautious steps towards her though she had lowered the dagger. She knelt in front of the ledge and said, "Hey, you here?"

"Yes," Caihong sniffled.

"Do you know me?"

"Yes. I know you. I have seen you."

"Huh?! Where have you seen me?"

"In my dreams... If that's what they are called."

As soon as these words left her mouth, Caihong could begin to see herself. She was now almost translucent. One could consider that to be an improvement from being entirely transparent.

"At least I can see myself, now, a tiny bit," she mumbled.

On the other hand, the girl gasped and sat down on her butt.

"Caihong?!" she whispered.

"Yaayy, you can see me! But, where am I? Why is there a sea all around?"

"This is your soul ocean, Caihong."

Caihong's little mouth curved into an O-shape.

"My soul ocean... that means-"

The very next moment, she frowned and asked, pouting, "But please, why can't I see myself the way I am?"

The girl smiled. "That's because you are here," she pointed to her self.

" Huh?!?! What?!"

The girl patiently explained, "I am your soul. We are one being."

"B-b-but, I am not...."

"Heh? What do you mean you are not?"

"I'm only ten, and you are..."

"Hahahaha, a soul has no age. In the soul ocean or the human body, it takes up the form of the human, when that person is or was happiest in life. If the person were happiest as a kid, the soul would look like a kid. If the person were happiest at an old age, the soul will look aged."

"B-b-but, I am only 10!! And you are.. you are.. 15 or 16... So how.."

"Well, I am your soul. I am you. And the reason why you can't see yourself is that you are not accepting me as your own, silly. You're not believing that you and I are one, the same. Aish... It's so weird talking about my lone self as two separate entities.. tch."

"You're me? My soul? But I haven't lived for that long... I'm just 10. And you were happiest when you were 16."

At that, the girl just smiled and took off the half glove of her right hand. Caihong gasped. There was a buff coloured scar on the soft white palm.

"Do you need any more proof?" the girl smiled. "And by the way, who told you that I am 16? I was 20. And now, I don't know how old I am. Honestly, I don't care either."

"That's double my age," Caihong whispered, reaching out to touch the scar.
She looked down at her hand. She had the same buff scar too, right since her birth.
As she shook her head to say something, her eyes caught a strange movement in the water. She stared at it, surprised. It was a huge black swirling whirlpool, a maelstrom, that was marring the beauty of the sea waves crashing against the shore. It was churning up the brine and foam accumulated on its periphery.
A hand covered her eyes, preventing her from looking at it. It was the girl.

"Don't. It's not yet time. I'm not ready to explore the morbid abyss of the past," she quavered.

"I?" Caihong asked.

"Yes. I. I am you. You are me. Believe me. Accept what is a fact. There are many things we can't explain. How much do we even know about this whole gigantic world?"

There was a pause. They both stood like that for some time. Caihong didn't know what to say, a part of her wanted to embrace the girl, and another was questioning how she could even have a soul who was double her age.

"It still feels weird, talking about you and me as two separate people," the girl grumbled. And somehow, Caihong, without even feeling the need to look, knew that she was pouting.

Her head was spinning just by the amount of information she was being made to process.
First, she landed in a place which was her soul realm.
Then she wasn't being able to see herself.
Then she met the girl in her visions and was told that she is her soul, and the reason why she can't see herself is that she was not accepting her soul.

Just then, amidst the myriad of her jumbled thoughts, yet another thought struck her like lightning.

'Hang on... What did she say? She looks 16 but is 20. So that means that she was happiest around that age! How on earth-'

"Who are you?" Caihong blurted out.

Perhaps she was going to ask something else too, but her questions were drowned by the girl's rich laughter.

"Hahahahaha!! Finally," the girl chuckled. "I was waiting for you to ask me this very question. Took you long enough, huh?"

...... To Be Continued .....