Callisto

By TraversingtheDark

The Deadlands - dry, arid, and merciless. A place where only the scent of death hangs loosely on the scorching winds. This is all that remains of a once bright world. This is the only world that Rain-Born has ever known.As a warrior of the Hanakh tribe she is without peer - a fearless, cold-blooded huntress. Knowing her skills, her village Elder bestows her with a sacred quest she must not refuse. She must reach the ancient Iron Forest and find the object that will save their tribe from certain destruction at the hands of their enemies:Callisto. But Rain-Born's journey is not her own. Unbeknownst to her, another wanders in the desolate wastes under very different circumstances. One who will come to call her friend. For these two travelers, the great Iron Forest holds the key to a brighter future......If they can survive long enough to reach it.

I was really lucky to read Callisto as an early draft a few years ago (2021 maybe? 2022?) At the time, I thought the draft was extremely solid. Now that the story has been rewritten, it is a very polished work and something to be proud of. If you are interested in querying Callisto, I think that it would be a great indie title. Gurt Dog, Tiny Fox, Bold Strokes Books, and Blind Eye Books are some presses that I researched while I was reading Callisto. I think these presses would be a good fit for this story. I'm not sure what your plans are for Callisto, but I hope you consider querying it because truly, I think this would be a fantastic indie title. 

Post-apocalyptic stories tend not to be hard science fiction. Most popular post-apocalyptic stories throughout media, from the Walking Dead to Mad Max to The Last of Us, tend to be somewhere between hard and soft science fiction, relying on tropes a lot of times to construct their worlds. While they may not have original premises, they stand out because they have exceptional characters and the creators take unique approaches to tropes that have been used before. That's why I like post-apocalyptic stories so much.

What was most impressive to me about Callisto was how original it managed to be, and how it manages to incorporate hard world building into a genre that typically forgoes complicated world building elements to focus on its characters. Callisto's world is very, very complicated. You clearly put a lot of thought into this world and this culture. Rain-Born's tribe is so well developed, this story reads more like a historical novel rather than a science fiction piece that takes place in the future. I found the world building to be totally believable, and it's why I got so lost in the story. Combined with a poignant character in the lead, Callisto is top-notch story telling. I really liked its hard sci-fi elements and thought they allowed you to take a really unique approach to the post-apocalyptic genre. Callisto isn't just another post-apocalyptic story about ruined cities and zombies. It's about preserving a complex, sacred, and powerful culture that has stood the test of time and devastation. The world-building feels entirely fresh even though it has post-apocalyptic elements we have seen before. 

That being said, the world you have built, along with Rain-Born's culture, is extremely complicated, and I found the first few chapters to be exposition-heavy to a fault.  I don't feel like the story actually started until the fourth or fifth chapter. The first chapter was great because it was action-heavy and main character focused. Then the next three or four chapters pause the storyline as a whole to introduce the reader to Father Mother and the dog and the Hanakh tribe and Rain-Born's destiny...etc. It's just too much. If you come back to put Callisto through another draft, I would consider omitting some of the exposition-heavy chapters and trusting that your reader can put Rain Born's back story together without a textbook explanation of how her tribe works and what happened in the past. 

I usually don't comment on covers but I would encourage you to consider a different design. The dog looks like a stock photo and it doesn't really fit with the background well because he looks copy and pasted, and Rain Born looks like a sticker. The story is so professionally written, it deserves a more professional cover. Sorry, I know I'm slamming it, and you can do what you want. I just don't really like it. 

I noticed this story won a few awards which were well-deserved. I would actually encourage you to take this story down from Wattpad and query it for a little while. Regardless of my notes on exposition, this draft is incredibly strong. I think it's very close to being query-ready and I encourage you to consider taking steps toward that stage. I really do think an indie press would love to have this piece and to be honest, it's too good for Wattpad. I'd much rather see Callisto on the shelf of my local indie bookstore than the finalist list for the Watty's. It's certainly good enough to shortlist and place in the Watty's, but I think publication would serve it best. Really hope you take this one as far as it can go.

10/10 one of the coolest books I've read this year.

Thanks for applying for a review

See you, space cowboy