One week later

I rubbed at my belly with a small frown as I moved around the kitchen. I was getting random aching pressure at times. It wrapped around my belly and squeezed for a few seconds. I had been watching them intently but they were very sporadic, only lasting a few seconds, ten at most, and had been on and off since early in the morning, sometimes stopping for two or three hours.

Amber had explained Braxton Hicks contractions to me a few weeks ago and they matched all the hallmarks of those contractions. They weren't really painful, just uncomfortable for a few moments and moving around or changing position alleviated most the pressure. I wasn't entirely too worried about them and I didn't want to bother anyone. My anxiety was bad enough just knowing I needed to go to the main house for my appointment. I wasn't sure if the anxiety was getting worse or better or just staying constant but it made leaving the house hard for me.

I hated thinking about it but I had a feeling Brochan showing up had caused a good portion of it. Trying to live within the rules of what I had always been taught while living outside of those rules caused some...overlap. I doubted the anxiety was entirely his fault. My brain just... it was a bit difficult at times. I swallowed hard and glanced over at the glass on the counter, a small smile crossing my face as I looked at the bouquet of delphiniums that Brochan had brought me earlier in the week. Ever since he had brought me the Sternbergia daffodils, he had been bringing me flowers.

This week's were delphiniums, which he said the florist told him meant happiness and joy as well as were a symbol to ward off negative energy and evil spirits. That had made me smile slightly as I had taken the blue flowers from him. One could never do to much to ward off the badness in the world. The week prior had been chrysanthemums, white ones, he told me the florist told him they meant longevity, loyalty, and honesty. The week before had been two sticks of yellow forsythia flowers. He told me they meant anticipation and a new start.

I appreciated each one, regardless of what it meant. It felt like he put thought into each bundle of flowers he got me when he told me about them though. That and I had noticed his cheeks would pinken when he would hand them over to me. I greatly appreciated that, it made my heart turn over in my chest. Brochan, who I still had much anxiety over everything, was a good male. He was a very good male. He had just... he had lost his way and I knew I had some blame to carry for that.

The tugging in my chest told me to shut up and that I carried absolutely no blame for what happened. I wrinkled my nose and wondered if that little voice was Duffy. It certainly snapped at me like she did. I rubbed at my chest before I moved over to toy box and heaved out a heavy sigh. I knew the toys needed to be picked up but the thought of getting all the way down there and getting back up was daunting.

Duffy had taken Maeve to visit with with other kids so I could have my time free for my appointment but I really didn't like the toys on the floor. With another sigh I walked over to one of the dining chairs and pulled it over to the toy box before carefully using it to lower myself down to the floor. I groaned once I was sitting down and rubbed at my back as that squeezing pressure came back. I rocked from side to side, closing my eyes until it slowly faded and
then disappeared.

I rubbed at my belly with affection, feeling a lazy kick in return. My little female was seeming to get on a schedule, which was sleeping through the day and then playing soccer with my kidneys during the night. I didn't appreciate that but I couldn't help but love her, no matter how bruised my internal organs felt at the end of the day. With a slight smile to my big belly I started picking up the toys and putting them back in the toy box. I knew Maeve was just going to come right back over and empty it out again but it made me feel better to pick them up.

I carefully made sure each toy was put back into the box, the noisy ones shut off as I did so. I let out a small sigh. I still felt a bit bad that Brochan had visitation with Maeve. I hated that he only saw her part of the time but he wouldn't even bring it up with me. The few times I had tried to mention it, he had immediately changed the subject. Even though he never told me no, there was still a little sting that he refused to discuss it with me, like the discussion was fully closed and he wouldn't be talking about it at all. That wasn't to say I didn't want Maeve with me, Mene forbid, I loved that little girl but he was her daddy.

The thought was nearly enough to make me want to cry and I fought it back. "Stop being so silly." I chastised myself slightly. There was really no reason to start crying. There wasn't. But a part of me, the part that wanted Brochan to be okay with my little female, was still hurt at the fact I was beginning to believe that he would never be that kind of daddy to her.

Sure, things between me and him had gotten... well a little better, I was still a little wary, not wanting to step out of line and make him angry, but it was better. However he still didn't really interact or show any interest in the pregnancy, outright avoidance was more what he seemed to be doing. It had been a month and a half since he had come to Oblitus and he had never made an effort to ask about the baby or even touch my belly to introduce himself to her. It left me feeling...I wasn't actually sure what to label it as.

There was a sad disquiet inside me every time I watched him with Maeve and then saw him look at my belly and look away, his jaw twitching. I knew that I had stepped into Chrissie's roll but I didn't want him blaming our little female for that. She wasn't at fault for what happened. She wasn't. Amber's words gently nudged at me and I nodded slightly. I wasn't at fault for mine either.

I realized I was squeezing the life out of one of Maeve's stuffies and I forced myself to let it go and gently set it in the box and my shoulders slumped. The tears returned and I blinked rapidly, trying to get them to go away. I didn't want my little female to be without her father. I didn't want her to grow up with a father like mine. I didn't want her feeling like she was to blame for things she had no control over and never would. I sniffled and wiped at my eyes, trying to stem the tears before they fell.

The front door opened and I swallowed hard, reaching out and putting another toy in the toy box. "Menza?" Brochan's low timbre voice came through the space and I glanced over as he took his boots off. He had a small frown on his face as he looked around. "Menza?" His voice became a bit sharper and then he spotted me. There was a moment, like he froze before his eyes narrowed. "Did you fall?" He came over quickly and I shook my head and my sniffling grew worse. "Did you hurt something? Pull something?" His voice was on the edge of harsh and it made my chin tremble worse as I shook my head.

"What's wrong? Why are you moving chairs around? You know you aren't supposed to be moving them that much." At the slight chastisement I burst into tears, I couldn't help it and covered my face as I bawled into my hands. I couldn't even really say what it was that had caused it. Just everything around Brochan seemed a bit too much to handle. "Oh, Enza." His voice was soft and I took some gulping inhales before I dropped my hands. "Are you okay?" I nodded and sniffled again and then again, giving a hiccuping sigh as I wiped at my cheeks.

"I just-" I inhaled deeply and wiped at my face. "Maeve's getting so big now." I let out a shuddering breath, knowing it was better to not say anything at all about what I was feeling. It wasn't really my place. My feelings for Brochan didn't matter. He had lost so much, he didn't need me pushing into where I didn't belong. "And she's going to be walking soon." I looked up at him and his brown eyes were half parts soft with slightly concerned confusion. "And-and-" I let out a shuddering inhale, looking own at my rotund belly and newly swollen ankles. "And I'm getting fat." And at that I promptly burst into tears once more.

To my surprise Brochan burst into laughter and it was enough to stop the tears as I looked at him. He had one hand against his stomach and the other on the floor to keep from tipping over in his crouch and he was grinning as he shook his head, laughing as he did so. His hair flopped into his face as he chuckled. "Chrissie used to say that constantly, you know. Always about how big she was getting, about how swollen her ankles were. She cried like that too when she got big." The words were amused and a bit sad and I nearly held my breath. Brochan never talked about pregnancy or Chrissie's pregnancy. He tended to avoid the topic at all costs when around me.

He let out a heavy sigh before he glanced at me. "I'm glad you're just having a moment and didn't fall and hurt yourself." There was sincerity in his voice before he looked at the dining room chair. "But you really can't be moving furniture." He said it evenly and I swallowed hard, wiping at my cheeks.

"I pulled it over, I didn't pick it up." I said it quietly and the look he gave me was reminiscent of one Amber would have given me. It spelled out he knew I was breaking the spirit of the rule in place, even though I didn't fully break the rule itself and he didn't appreciate it. "I needed to pick up the toys." I clasped my hands together, resting them both on my belly as I looked at him and he gave a small sigh.

"You really didn't need to. Duffy will be bringing Maeve back after the appointment and she will toss them all out again." The look he gave me had me flushing slightly.

"But I wanted them picked up." I knew Maeve would toss them all out again but the anxiety to have them picked up was a bit too much for me to put up with.

"Okay. I'm not going to argue. Let's get you up." With that he stood up and then held out his hands for me. I glanced at them and then up at him but his expression was a touch remote as I landed on my belly and then moved away, his throat bobbing. I pinched my lips together before taking his hands and letting him help me to my feet. I told myself that it was okay, that he had a lot to work through, but no matter how many times I told myself that, it still hurt. I let his hands go and he turned and walked over to the table. "I picked you up some more. I hope you don't mind." He picked up a bouquet from the table and turned, holding it out to me. I blinked at them and found myself smiling

"Not at all." The pretty bouquet had four differently colours flowers., pink, white, purple, and yellow. They were all the same flower but the variety in colours made the bouquet especially lovely to look at.

Brochan cleared his throat. "They are lisianthus flowers. The florist told me each colour means something." He held out the flowers for me and I took them, giving him a bright smile, unable to stop it, even as I sniffled still. He shoved his hands in his coat pockets, his face flushing a touch pink. "She uhhh.. the white means purity, the pink means affection, the purple means beauty, and the yellow means positive energy and joy. I think that's what she said but I thought you would like them."

I held the flowers close to my chest and nodded. "I do. I really do." I did. They were a lovely bouquet and I moved into the kitchen and grabbed another cup, and quickly put water in it. I carefully placed the flowers in it before putting it beside the delphiniums. "They are very lovely." I couldn't help the slightly wistful note my voice took. I had never gotten so many flowers before. It felt nice.

"That's-" He cleared his throat again. "That's good."

I glanced over at him and he was looking at me with that almost sad look in his eyes again. I wanted to say something about it but I held my tongue. There was no reason to ruin the tentative peace between us with invasive questions, even I knew that. I looked away, my eyes landing on my winter jacket. "We should probably head over to see Amber. Get the appointment done and out of the way." I knew that he was taking time off from working at the shop to come with me to my appointments and I didn't want to interfere with his job too much.

"Yah- yah, that sounds good." He cleared his throat again and I slowly came around the counter and after a moment he paused before jolting and grabbing my jacket. "You need this." He held it out for me and I nodded. His nervous energy was making me a slightly nervous but I knew there was little I could do about it. I certainly wasn't going to bring it up to talk about it, it wasn't really my place.

I took the jacket from him and as I put it on he grabbed my boots and set them in front of me. It was silent as I carefully zipped up my jacket and then slipped the boots on. Brochan nodded at me as he opened the door and stepped outside. He watched me intently as I stepped out behind him, closing the door as I did so. We moved to the stairs and he went down them first before holding out his hand for me. I took it and slowly and carefully went down the stairs. I made sure each foot was placed carefully so I wouldn't accidentally slip.

Once we were both on level ground we started walking. Brochan walked slightly in front of me but off to one side and I wondered if that was because my pace was a little slower than it usually would be. That or he was concerned I might slip and wanted to be close enough he could reach out and stop it easier. I pondered on it was we walked to the main house, not reaching any particular conclusion as we finally made it to the main house.

It was busy inside but I ignored it as I took off my boots and then headed towards the infirmary. "Checking on baby again?" Jace's loud voice came from the office and I nodded even though he couldn't see me.

"Yes." I called it out and there was a moment of silence.

"Good! Can't wait to meet the little munchkin." He called it out and I smiled at that and nodded once more before I made it to the infirmary. I was aware Brochan was following behind me and I stepped into the space.

Amber was sitting beside my cot, as she called it, writing on a clipboard. She glanced up before smiling. "Ahhhh, Menza. Come in. Let's see how baby is doing." She wave me over as she set the clipboard down and I carefully took off my jacket before moving over to the cot. She pressed some buttons on a remote and the cot lowered enough I could sit on it without climbing onto it like I used to. "Close the door please." Amber didn't look at Brochan but I knew she was talking to him. "How are you feeling?" She looked at me intently and I opened my mouth and then closed it.

It took me a second to think about what to say until I decided that honesty was always the best policy with Amber. "I've been getting... I've been getting a bit of pressure around my belly. Like how you said Braxton Hicks is."

At my words she froze. "How consistent?" It came out of her almost snapped and I hunched my shoulders slightly.

"Not consistent at all. Only every so often. They don't hurt or anything, it's just pressure around my belly and when I move or stretch it goes away." It wasn't such a bad thing. I knew it was routine, Amber had told me as such.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Brochan's voice held a bit of censure that had me hunching my shoulders forward a bit more.

"It was what Amber told me they were like. I didn't think it was serious enough to call her when I had an appointment today anyway." It hadn't seemed like that big of a deal, Amber told me it would be common and to not worry too much if I experienced it.

Amber came over to my side and looked down at me. "Menza, you need to contact me right away when you feel something different with the pregnancy. Each and every new symptom I want to know about. Just to be sure." She gave me a soft smile. "I know you feel like you're being a bother but I would much rather have you wake me up at four am with something that turns out to be gas than to have anything happen to you and baby, okay?" She rubbed my arm and then grasped my hand, giving it a small squeeze.

I nodded at her and then glanced at Brochan. His hands were on his hips and his frown was deep. I hated that I had upset him. It just didn't seem like a big deal. I turned my gaze back to Amber who rolled over the fetal monitor. "Let's get you hooked up and baby checked out." I nodded and helped her set everything up before sitting back. Even though I wasn't a doctor, I had seen the monitor enough to know that my little female's heart rate was looking perfect.

Amber quickly took my blood pressure and marked everything down on her clipboard. I jerked a bit as the pressure came back and squeezed my belly. "There it is." Amber said it evenly as she moved over to the monitor and nodded before reaching out and holding my belly, feeling it with her fingertips before she gave me a reassuring smile. "Even without a vaginal exam I can tell you those are Braxton Hicks. No pain, a touch of discomfort, but what I like seeing is a steady heart rate." She turned back and pointed to the monitor. "When the contraction started, baby's heart rate stayed steady. Meaning there wasn't any pressure on her from your uterus. So we are good to go. Just Braxton Hicks but make sure you tell me if they get more frequent or start interrupting your sleep or even if they start to hurt."

Amber turned fully to look at me. "I mean it. Even if it's a bit of a back twinge. You need to tell me because we don't want preterm labour outside of our parameters. It's safer for you and for baby if we control the process as much as possible." The look she gave me told me not to argue and so I nodded. It made sense. She narrowed her eyes slightly at me before frowning. "Actually. I want someone to move in with you so they can be there just in case. You're at thirty week now, we're in the home stretch so that makes me a bit nervous to have you home alone. You need a roomie, at least until baby is born."

"I can do it." Brochan said it evenly and I looked at him in surprise. He was the last person I would have expected to offer.

Amber shrugged. "You and Duffy will have to fight it out if Menza finds she can't pick but someone will need to be there for her for the rest of her pregnancy." I glanced over at Brochan and he ran his hand through his hair before he looked at me.

"I can move in if you want. I'll set up in the guest bedroom and I won't be a bother." He gave a slow exhale as his hand dropped form his hair. I gave a slow nod. I really didn't want to move Duffy out of her house. She liked it so much and she was just getting it to where she wanted it and I couldn't pull her away from that.

"Okay." I gave a small nod nod he returned it with a slightly sharper one before he looked at Amber.

"How does she look? Anything wrong?"

"Nope. Menza looks perfectly healthy. Her colouring is good, she seems to be gaining the perfect amount of weight, her counts are all immaculate. Stellar pregnancy through and through." Amber looked up from where she was writing on her clipboard. "If you stay with her, I'll let Jace know to back you off on patrols and have you put to lighter duties on the territory. If you're going to be staying with her, I want you to have access to her at all times. Right now it means check on her every couple of hours but the further she gets along, I want the checks to increase." Amber gave him a look and he nodded quickly. "I'll make up a schedule for checking up on her and I expect you to keep on top of it, Brochan." There was an edge to her voice that she didn't even bother to hide.

"I will. Don't worry about it, at all." At his words Amber gave him another look but turned back to her clipboard.

After a few moments she set it down and then smiled at me. "Alright, picture time for baby." She moved over to the ultrasound machine and rolled it over. "We need more pictures for her baby book." Her smile was friendly and I returned it, trying to hide the sudden nerves I got.

Brochan would be living with me again.

I just hoped I would be able to handle it.