An undetermined amount of time later

I was floating. Darkness was surrounding me, inside me. I didn't know where I was or why I was in the darkness. Everything was so foggy and I couldn't remember what happened. I didn't feel in danger, I didn't feel like the darkness was suffocating me. I was just lost.

"I wished it wouldn't have come to this." Mene's voice echoed around me and the darkness faded and I found myself standing in a familiar throne room. "I wished you would have stayed far away from that territory." Mene gave a heavy sigh and I looked up at her. She looked...sad. "I wish I was not seeing you in front of me right now. They savaged you, hemi-lykos." She sighed again and I could feel her gaze on me. "But it is not your time, the fates weep over your life's cord but they will not cut it." The words washed over me and I closed my eyes.

That was right. I had been punished.

My back had been on fire, the pain of it consumed me. A punishment for running with Maeve. I swallowed hard. It had been so painful. It had hurt so bad. I thought everything had been okay, I thought it had been. Brochan told me he missed me, that he was glad I was okay but then he told them to- I cut the thought off, my heart aching at it. It was his right to do so. Even if it hurt, even if I was confused as to why. It was his right to allow it.

Mene let out a heavy breath, "I will send you back but I must take your female." She whispered it and a tugging happened in my belly and I blinked rapidly at her.

"What?" She had to take what from me? I felt like I hadn't heard her correctly. "You have to take what?" I looked at her and she slowly shook her head.

"Your little female, your daughter resting within you. I need to take her back." The words hit me like a punch to the chest. A daughter? I was... I had a baby inside me?

"Don't take her." I breathed it out, clutching at my stomach tightly. I had a daughter. I had a little life growing inside me, I wanted to keep her.

"If you never returned, you could have." Mene shook her head again and leaned back in her throne. "If you never crossed that territory line, you would have had her. She could have stayed but you are back and now I must take her." She lifted her hand and that tugging in my stomach happened again, a heated moving through me. I felt like there was a little flutter of life inside of it, struggling to stay within me.

"No. Please don't!" I held my hands to my stomach, pressing on it tightly. "Let me keep her!" I wanted her. I wanted her to stay right where she was. I wanted to feel her growing inside me. I wanted to keep her.

"You can't, it has already been written." At her words I felt icy cold and I hit my knees in front of her throne.

"Please! I will do anything! Let me keep her!" I wasn't allowed to have anything of my own. I didn't know if I could ever see Maeve again. I wanted to keep her, that little life that rested inside me. I wanted to have her to myself, something for me that would be something I could leave in this world, the one mark I could leave that said 'I was here'.

"I have cursed the Old Ways." Mene's voice was low. "No child is to be born into them. She cannot be born. It has been written well before her conception." She slowly shook her head, the veil swaying as the shadows clung to it, tugging at it slightly. "She cannot be born." She stressed it and slowly closed her hand into a fist and the tugging turned to pain spreading from deep within my belly.

I sobbed, "I'll do anything! Let me keep her. I just want her, I just want to have her! Please, can't you show mercy, just this once?" I looked at her through tear filled eyes and she tilted her head.

"Mercy..." She spoke slowly before giving a deep and heavy sigh. "My mercy to you. You can let me take the little female and go back or you can keep her. She will live within you, she will thrive, she will grow." I swallowed against the lump in my throat, a smile breaking through but she lifted a finger. "But when that Alpha finds out you are pregnant, I will take you both. Your life cord will be cut in an instant and you will stand before me to be judged." Her voice was low and I swallowed hard, my eyes darting back and forth.

"If he doesn't find out, my daughter will be safe?" I looked up at her slowly and Mene paused before giving a small nod. "Okay. I will take the deal. I want to keep her." I just wanted to keep her, I wanted to feel her grow inside me. I had lost everything, I had lost so much. I wanted to keep this tiny part of me. Brochan was a great father and he must have been mad at me but if I could have a tiny, tiny piece of him, I wanted to keep it. "I want to keep her." I pressed my hands to my stomach as if I could feel the little life growing within me.

Mene let out a sight that sounded as ancient as it felt. "So be it but you need to remember this, right here, when you stand before me, your daughter in my arms, that you made this choice for a female that was never supposed to breathe. You have chosen to ignore my mercy." With that Mene stood up. "Now it is your turn to breathe." She held out her hands and I looked up at her before the darkness started to press inwards. "Breathe it in." The pain that followed her words was vicious as I fell into the darkness once more.

~~~

The pain exploded around me, it moved through me so aggressively it felt like I couldn't breathe. I could hear Simon murmuring to me, telling me it was okay. I fell in and out of the darkness, trying hard to breathe through it, breathe it in like Mene asked of me. My back burned like it was on fire, I couldn't move or open my eyes. But the thought of my daughter staying safely inside of me was a calming one. She was alive and that was what I wanted.

Things came in pulses and in bits. I could hear Simon more than anyone but Ellie was there and I even heard Lisa. I couldn't open my eyes but I was aware things were being given to me, something that dulled the pain and helped me slip into the darkness. I didn't know how long it passed like that before I was able to open my eyes fully.

I was on my belly, my head to one side and I could see Simon sitting next to the bed on the floor. I blinked slowly, my back ached and burned and I couldn't move but I was so relieved to see him. "Hi." It came out of me croaked and he jolted upright, nearly whirling around. His expression was drawn and he looked haggard and worn. He beamed, cupping my cheek before pressing his forehead against mine.

"Oh thank Mene." He breathed it out before pulling away from my forehead and then kissing it softly. "We've been scared you would slip away and not come back. You did for a moment." He brushed some loose curls away from the side of my face and I blinked, feeling exhausted before I looked at him again. "How are you feeling?" He asked it as he brushed my cheekbone with his thumb.

"Thirsty." My mouth and throat felt dry and he nodded as he let my cheek go to twist, grabbing a cup from the bedside table.

"Here." He held the straw in the glass, guiding it to my mouth. I took a drink and sighed at the relief it brought. I swallowed the water eagerly until Simon pulled it away. "You've been out for just over a week. We managed to get the bleeding under control a few days after we got you home." He set the cup down before shoving a hand through his hair. He had bags under his eyes and looked far too skinny. "He ordered me to leave you there. You would have died." His voice cracked and his eyes went glassy and I tried to reach out to touch him and he merely grabbed my hand, holding it on the bed as he let out a shuddering breath.

"Jason got you down and brought you here. You were nearly dead. Then a healer arrived, named Francis, we don't know where he came from or what pack he was from but he helped make sure you didn't die. But you healed faster than we thought and he's been gone for over nearly a week now." He pulled my hand close and kissed the back of it gently. "If he hadn't shown up, you would've died." His voice warbled a little bit and I swallowed.

"I want to sit up." I asked it softly and he nodded. My back didn't hurt as much as I remembered. It throbbed and ached but not as sharply as it had.

Simon nodded and carefully and gently helped me sit up, not letting me twist my back. Once I was sitting Simon went to lift the blanket to cover my breasts when he stopped. "What happened?" He looked horrified as he reached out and pressed a palm to the scars on my chest. I tried to shrug but grimaced in pain instead.

"The rogue." I blinked slowly. I was tired, like sitting up took all my strength.

"He..." Simon swallowed as he trailed his fingertips over the marks. "These are brutal. Can you tell me what happened?" He asked it so softly and I nodded slowly.

"He was in the house, he chased me and I ran. He caught me and used his claws but he tried to get Maeve, I twisted and he cut me." My words slurred slightly, my eyes closing more and Simon nodded. "Then I ran again and some other rogues chased me to the river." I could remember it so clearly, standing in the river, that voice screaming at me. I had told it to Brochan as well, he had been upset. He was probably more upset than I realized. I thought it was okay, I must have been mistaken. It was his right to have me punished. Maeve did suffer for the choices I made.

"You went into the river." His voice wavered and I nodded slowly, trying hard not to fall over. I was so tired.

"Went in... woke up on the river bank... and walked." I swallowed hard and Simon shook his head and my eyes watered. "I wanted to go home." I whispered it and sniffled. "I got sick. They got infected." I gave a slow gesture to the scars. "A pack found me, Fortis." The tears leaked out of my eyes, "I told the Hunters to find my home. I told them your name and Brochan's." My voice cracked on his name. I thought we were okay, I thought it was okay. It wasn't.

"I wanted them to find Brochan but they didn't. They never found him." My voice cracked and the tears were hot against my skin. "He found me instead and now he must hate me." I whispered it and Simon shook his head.

"That fucker will be lucky if I don't fucking kill him!" At the harshly said words I shook my head.

"It's my fault, Simon." It was. I should have stayed in the craft hall, I never should have run to the river. I never should have done what I did. Everything that happened was my fault. He was probably upset over it. He had missed so much of Maeve's life.

"No it's not. It wasn't your fault!" He grabbed my shoulders, looking into my eyes. "None of this is your fault." He said it but it didn't mean that it was true. It was my fault, it must have been. Brochan hadn't come get me, hadn't stopped the punishment. The Alpha, Stenton, said that Brochan said I could be punished, so he must have been really upset at me, maybe even livid.

"Simon-" Lisa's voice was low and she stopped when she spotted me sitting up. I didn't know what to say and I just blinked at her. I didn't have the energy to fight with her. "What are those?" She pointed at me and Simon let out a sigh.

"The rogue attacked her, trying to kill her and Maeve. She escaped him and he left her with those." Simon's voice cracked and I watched as Lisa's expression shuttered as she looked between the scars and me before she turned on her heel and walked away. I felt a little concerned but Simon just shook his head.

"Let's get you to lay down again." He stood up and then helped me lay down more more. "Sleep, Menza. Rest and heal." I nodded and swallowed hard, pressing the side of my face to the pillow as he pulled the blankets up. As much as it hurt, as much as my heart lay broken in my chest, I was glad I was able to be with Simon.

I had missed him, so very much.