I had dreamed of home. It wasn't the first time I had, far from the first, but it hurt. I had dreamt I had woken up in Brochan's bed. He had been there he had cupped my face and kissed me. Nothing else happened except he pulled me close and he held me tight to his chest and we just laid there. I woke up with that crushing hollow feeling in my chest. I missed him. I knew I would do anything to get back to him, even if it meant being nothing to him but a friend.

I wanted to go home. I said it so much and so often but nothing changed, nothing was fixed. I was still where I was, still no sign of home. I wanted to know if everyone was okay. The rogues had attacked the pack and I worried for Ellie and Simon, I worried about the females in the craft hall. I wanted to know if anyone had gotten hurt, if they had gotten injured. I wanted to see everyone for myself and make sure they were okay.

"You have that look about you." Ambris tilted her head as she looked at me and I gave a small hum of acknowledgement as I shifted Maeve in my arms. "I know it is disappointing."

"Are they even trying?" I looked at the Head Priestess and she gave a heavy sigh, tucking her hands into her sleeves.

"I am sure they are trying it is just that they are a big organization and they have a lot they have to do. Sometimes these things take more time than we think it will." Each word was said carefully and I hated every syllable of it. It was the same response I got every single time I asked. I had been gone for two months and I wanted to go back home.

"The pack was attacked. I want to know what happened to everyone, I want to know what happened." I wanted to know and Ambris gave another sigh, her shoulders slumping slightly. She looked weary and sad and I adjusted Maeve's little toque on her head. "I want to know if they are all okay." I whispered it and she gave a slow nod.

"I understand that this is difficult for you but there is nothing I can tell you." She reached out and almost awkwardly patted my shoulder. Ambris was not a very physically affectionate shifter. She didn't really know how to comfort anyone or how to act around people who were sad. I figured it was just part of who she was. She spent a lot more time with Mene than with anyone else. "Perhaps you can go pray and seek Mene out for guidance on what has happened and what you seek." At that I gave another nod and adjusted Maeve on my hip.

She babbled happily at me and I nodded. "We can do that." I knew she was just passing me off, trying to keep me from getting under foot but I would do what she suggested. Knowing that Mene knew me and she had gifted me with what she had, made praying to her feel better. It was like I knew she was listening and I felt comforted by it. I knew she told me she didn't wish to help me get back to my home because she didn't believe it was truly my home but speaking to her was a comfort all the same.

"All will be well and will come to pass as it should." Ambris bowed her head at me and then walked away.

I looked at Maeve and the little girl leaned towards me, bumping her nose against my cheek. "I love you too." I kissed her cheek and she giggled as I turned and walked away. I would go to the public chapel and pray, just as Ambris had suggested. The air was cold as it nipped at my cheeks and I was glad that the people of Altia had come together to ensure that Maeve had all the cold weather gear she needed. They had also provided me with my own but that didn't matter as much as ensuring Maeve was warm and kept away from the temperatures that were dropping.

The chapel was made of stone and the doors were a thick, dark wood and I pushed one open. The interior was warm and the door opened and closed smoothly. I carried Maeve to the altar and then set her down on it. She clapped her hands and babbled at me. "Yes, my love. Let's pray." I looked over at the candles and picked up one of the incense sticks, I reached over and lit it before setting the smoking stick in the appropriate place. It was a spicy scent and I breathed it in and closed my eyes for a moment.

There was a pop from a candle further down the altar and the lit braziers cracked warmly. The sounds seemed closer than I knew they were and I had to tune them out. Mene's gifts had been interesting to get used to. My hearing had increased to a level that had me actively learning to tune out the ambient background sounds I was now aware of and Rosie stated, after she checked me after the ritual, that she could sense my healing had been increased. She said that it would take longer than with a normal shifter but the healers could actually help me heal now. Slowly but it was better than before.

The wounds that Mene healed were now scars. They were dark against my skin, they looked a bit like little valleys across the right side of my rib cage and were a harsh reminder of that day. I thought they were ugly and I hated looking at them. They represented everything that had gone wrong in my life. I found myself reaching up and pressing my hand against them through my coat. I couldn't feel them but I knew they were there, they twinged occasionally, a sharp feeling that bordered on pain but wasn't quite there.

Maeve babbled rapidly and I opened my eyes and she was playing with one of the sticks that rested on the altar and I smiled at her softly. I was so happy that she was unharmed from the entire ordeal. I still hated that she had gotten sick, that I had made her that way by using the river water but she recovered well. She was still a happy girl, still such a bubbly and giggly girl despite it all.

"Shall we pray?" I asked it softly as I looked at her and she held up the stick, babbling seriously at me. I nodded and then pinched some spice from the provided bowls and sprinkled it on the water of the offering bowl before picking up some dried moon flower petals and sprinkling them on the water as well. "Mother goddess, hear our prayer." I murmured it out and Maeve babbled seriously again, tapping the stick on the altar. I shifted over and picked Maeve up as I shifted closer to the altar before turning her so her little back was pressed against my chest. "We pray for the safety of those we love. We ask you to watch over them, to ensure their health and their safety." Maeve babbled as well and I wrapped my arms loosely around her and she tapped the little stick against my coat.

"We ask that you show them your love and your compassion. Hold them in your loving sight and if they have had to greet you, that you fold them into your embrace and show them your love." I hated thinking about any of the pack members dying. I truly did but I prayed for them anyway. I wanted Mene to be reminded of them, to think of them. Not everyone in the pack were bad people. There were good people who lived there. My mind drifted to Simon and Ellie and my heart clenched. "Protect my family, I ask of you to keep them in your heart and in your gaze." I wanted them both safe, just like I wanted Brochan safe. Everyone I cared about was in that pack and I wanted to make sure they were all safe.

I stood there, closing my eyes as I breathed in and out. I practised tuning out the background noises, trying to ignore the crackling of the braziers and the faint pops from some of the numerous candles. I opened my eyes and looked out the big window in front of the altar. The forest that surrounded Altia was big, I had been told as such, and some of the branches swayed with what I knew was a cold wind.

Maeve lifted the stick, giving a serious sound of babble and I lowered my head, kissing the top of her covered one. I held onto her a bit tighter. I missed my home, I missed Brochan, seeing him with her. There was so much I missed and regretted but the fact Brochan wasn't able to see Maeve as she grew was my biggest one. I still took pictures and videos but it wasn't enough. I knew it wasn't enough. He should have seen the little things she had been doing, the little milestones she was making. She had crawled yesterday. She had been on the verge for a long time but she had actually crawled.

I had cried because Brochan wasn't there and he was missing it. I had recorded her and tried hard not to sound sad when I said what she was doing, letting Brochan know when he watched it, just what she was learning. I had caught some sniffles and my voice wavered slightly but it was the best I could do. "You are growing so much, Maeve." I kissed the top of her toque covered head and she lifted the stick for me. I nodded and took it from her as she grabbed my coat sleeve and blew a raspberry. "You need to stop and wait until we see your daddy again." I wanted her to stop, to stay little. He missed her crawling for the first time and her first tooth and I didn't want him to miss anything else.

There was a faint commotion, the sound of an engine revving caught my attention and I tilted my head. There must have been a visitor. I could hear some faint calling and I set the little stick down on the altar before picking Maeve up. I put her on my hip as I touched the altar, sending my thanks to Mene as I carried her to the door. The voices were getting louder and I was aware that more people were gathering. I pushed the door open and closed it behind me as I searched the area. A group of priestesses and the few priests were near a fancy black SUV and I tilted my head as I walked down the stairs, adjusting Maeve on my hip.

The driver side door opened and a larger male got out. I frowned, he looked familiar. I could see Ambris talking, her voice too low to hear and I wondered what it was about. We rarely got visitors on Altia. My heart lurched in my chest and I inhaled sharply as he turned around. "Brochan!" The name escaped me in a cry and I was running. Tears blurred my vision and my heart thumped hard and vicious in my chest. "Brochan!" It was him, he was here! I wanted to sob as I pushed through the crowd and ran to him. "I m-mis-missed you! I tr-tried t-t-t-to ge-get ho-ho-home!" I nearly sobbed it out, my breathing quick and sharp. "I was so wor-wor-worried! I'm-I'm-I'm so gla-glad you-you-you are safe!" I was practically blubbering but I was so relieved. He was here! He was in the territory! He found us!

We could go home.